In Beyoncé’s newest album, the song “Pretty Hurts” has lyrics seemingly trying to speak to women and girls everywhere about the pains of trying to be perfect. Between social media, selfies, and an obsession with celebrity culture, life may seem like a constant competition to look the best and be the best. Publications like Teen Vogue and Seventeen have addressed extremes some people take in this contest, but are things like eating disorders and surgery really that extreme in today’s society?
While this idolization has been going on for decades based on the popularity of celebrities like Marilyn Monroe and Christie Brinkley, never has the standard of beauty seemed so unattainable to the average American girl, like peers at Southern Oregon Univeristy. Women like Farrah Fawcett were “beauty standards” of their time according to magazines like Glamour and InStyle, and most likely inspired young girls to take aerobics classes and get a tan. The women of today must inspire girls to buy false eyelashes, hair extensions, and contouring kits based on the “selfies” on social media sites. Is this the new standard of beauty? Or is this an extreme? Or both? One has to wonder where, and if, we went wrong.
Reality television hit our society like a ton of bricks when the seemingly “overnight” fame of people like the Kardashians is examined. Suddenly women with the money and status to warrant things like professional makeup artists, personal trainers, and specialized doctors were on television screens every night on E!. Kim Kardashian and Lilly Ghalichi suddenly became the standard of beauty to viewers because they had all the attention and fame, and young girls everywhere had a new model to which they seemingly aspired.
Eating disorders and plastic surgery used to be rarities according to women like Lisa Moore.
“When I was growing up, eating disorders were never really heard of. At least not with my friends,” she said, “Only women like Karen Carpenter had something like that.”
It seemed only Playboy hopefuls and Beverly Hills housewives used to go under the knife when fellow classmates were growing up, while fashion models and insecure preteens were seemingly the only ones with eating disorders. Now nose jobs are common Sweet 16 birthday presents, according to Teen Vogue and women of all ages, shapes, and economic classes are either not eating, eating obsessively, or eating only to vomit it all up based on research for their article. There can be dozens of factors that lead to these behaviors according to the National Eating Disorders Association, but anyone with common sense can see that the pressures put on women today is far beyond where it once was. Now, mothers have to look like they never even had the baby, teenagers have to look like their bodies aren’t going through any phases, and wrinkles, cellulite, and acne are four-letter-words based on the perpetuated ideals of beauty in society. Women have to have the biggest butts, but not too big, the fullest boobs, but not too full, and they skinniest limbs with the washboard abs. The hair has to be long, shiny, and full, and the makeup has to be flawless. Cheekbones have to be chiseled, lips pouty, eyes wide, and lashes past the eyebrows.
Anyone who fails these standards loses value in our society – they’re not famous.
This may seem harsh, but this is referring to what’s been read, watched, and, most importantly, heard from friends and peers. The fact is insecurity isn’t as rare as it once was and should be – it’s something almost every girl spoken to for research on pieces like this is facing in terms never set before.
Ashley Winkler, a student, was hesitant to even let a picture of herself run with this story. “I look so terrible!” she said when asked. Winkler is by no means unattractive. She’s tall, thin, and has the clear skin and large blue eyes for which most yearn. When Winkler hears compliments like these, she laughs them off and denies them – like most girls. How unfair that we’re all so insecure.
“I used to feel really bad about myself,” Winkler said. “I bought in to the whole idea of pretty that’s dictated [by society]. It’s just impossible though.”
When Winkler contracted Celiac Disease two years ago, she lost weight very quickly.
“People constantly said I’d lost weight from being anorexic or drugs or something,” she said. “No one seemed to think I was telling the truth, or they just assumed. It’s messed up that people just think [eating disorders] would be the reason. It made me feel bad about myself for a little while.”
Winkler learned to manage her disease, which makes her allergic to gluten, and has since reached a healthier weight, and mind-set. “I feel better now. If people want to judge, whatever. I know how I look, and why, and I feel fine with that. I’m healthy.”
Body image is a matter that could take pages and pages of explaining. How nonsensical that girls are made to feel anything less than beautiful by society’s standards of beauty. The filtered images on Instagram and the admittedly Photoshopped magazine covers in the mail shouldn’t dictate what’s beautiful. Every girl knows what it’s like to have a zit, feel gross in a pair of shorts, and wonder if her life wouldn’t be better if only she looked different; some people just have teams helping them look as far from that truth as possible based on the makeup artists and hairstylists following women like Katy Perry on tour. Every person has flaws, and none are “better” than anyone else’s. Girls shouldn’t ever look at someone and think they’re not also insecure in at least some way.
Confidence isn’t easy for many, nor is it something that can suddenly become a habit – it takes work. (There’s even been scientific research showing confidence can be genetic, according to Psychology Today.) It’s important to our happiness to learn to focus on the good. There will always be someone prettier or wealthier, but that doesn’t diminish any of your positive attributes. We can’t live our lives comparing ourselves to others, or we’ll never be happy. Appearance shouldn’t be a hindrance on happiness. There’s still someone out there who will think you’re gorgeous, inside and out, and will give you the love you deserve. It’s just important that you give it to yourself first.