Dean very likely beat Sam when they were growing up. Notice how Sam was never surprised when Dean punched him on the show (you can see Sam expecting Dean to turn violent as early as in the Pilot - I'm talking about the bridge scene). Dean was definitely not the loving caretaker, sacrificing his own childhood and always standing up for Sam as the fandom likes to picture it.
strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree
I mean, even as children, we see dean verbally lashing out at sam and while that instance can be brushed aside as him being a kid, the fact that, like you said, sam wasn't surprised when dean got violent with him in the pilot and the fact that it kept happening over and over again over the course of the series, with sam rarely responding, clearly shows that it's a consistent pattern
and yeah, dean definitely wasn't the caretaker people make him out to be and sam's childhood wasn't wasn't all flowers and puppies. I mean, let's look at what we actually know about sam's childhood (this is gonna get a bit long, oops)
100% canon informations about sam's childhood and his life before stanford (and about dean as a caretaker):
- sam never had a normal childhood, his childhood was taken away from him when he was six months old (as opposed to dean who had a normal childhood until he was four)
- he never had a stable home (something that, again, dean had for four years)
- he was forced to move around from school to school every couple of weeks
- he never had a mom to cut the crusts off of his toast
- just as the level of information was damaging to dean, the level of secrecy was damaging to sam, because it left him unable to protect himself when he was left alone
- he almost got killed by a shtriga once
- he was often left alone in random motels at a very young age
- he was so lonely and neglected that he needed a zanna
- he was so lonely and neglected that he wanted to run away
- he was fourteen years old the first time someone asked him what he wanted to do with his life. no-one in his family had ever bothered to ask him what he wanted. dean was eighteen at the time, so it can't really be attributed to him being a child; the fact that he never asked sam what he wanted is proof enough that he wasn't the caretaker people make him out to be
- he was expected to blindly follow john and dean's obsession to avenge mary, but he's not even allowed to mention her
- dean supported and sided with john during the fight before sam left for stanford
- I don't know if people consider it as canon, but in john's diary, john said that dean almost hit sam before he left and he had to hold him back and he even said something about how he didn't expect dean to cut ties with sam (so for the people who claim john forced dean to chose or whatever: don't, it was 100% dean's choice to side with john)
- he was literally disowned for wanting to go to college
- in 1x08 dean victim blamed sam for john's abuse
- this convo from 1x08: "remind you of somebody?" "dad? dad never treated us like that" "well, dad never treated you like that. you were perfect. he was all over my case" "maybe he had to raise his voice, but sometimes you were out of line"
- "I remember that fight. in fact, I seem to recall a few choice phrases coming out of your mouth" yeah, sorry, but if my dad disowns me for wanting to go to college, I'm allowed to say a few "choice phrases"
- in 7x03 dean gave john the phone so he could guilt trip sam into exhausting himself doing research (yet people love to cling to the completely fanon "dean protected sam from john's abuse" bullshit)
- sam to amy: "my dad [has a temper] too. you don't want to see him when he's drinking" (yet people love to insist that dean was the only one who was physically abused)
- when he told john that he was afraid of the thing under his bed, he handed him a weapon. what a nice normal childhood
- he was so miserable with the life john and dean forced him into that his ~~~family was missing from his heaven. everyone loves to make sam's heaven in 5x16 about poor dean's ~~~feelings, but no-one stops to consider that, if these are sam's happiest memories, then he must be pretty fucking miserable
- he never even had a proper thanksgiving with his family
- dean was four, there's literally no way he was able to raise him
- he always felt unclean and impure even as a kid
- he was left for hours at pennywhistle's all by himself and developed a clown phobia as a result (a phobia that dean, as a full grown adult, mocks him for)
- people love to use the lucky charms incident to fuel their parentification fantasies but that's something literally any older sibling would do. I've also seen people use it as a proof that dean starved for sam or whatever and like,,, let me tell you something: literally no starving kid would throw away perfectly good food like that EVER
- john and dean made him feel like a freak because he wanted to go to school and live his life
- the ONLY time we ever see dean not taking john's side is in 1x21. and he wasn't taking sam's side either, he was just playing peacemaker
- sam thought that even if they found him, john wouldn't even want to see him
- even bobby said that john always pushed sam away
100% canon information about john's treatment of dean vs his treatment of sam:
- john literally died for dean and his last words were that he might have to kill sam
- dean saying that he always gets the extra cookie
- when john came back as a ghost, he gave dean a comforting pat on the shoulder and merely nodded at sam
- when they reunited in s1, john hugged dean, while barely acknowledging sam
- again, the convo from 1x08 I quoted above
BUT azazel said sam was john's favourite, so I guess that's more reliable than all the on screen evidence to the contrary
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