Back to Hogwarts || Dean & Ginny
Ginny nodded. As long as Dean wasn’t going to mention their former relationship, she decided, she wouldn’t bring it up either; some parts of the past just weren’t worth stirring up again. “Yeah, last year wasn’t fun,” she agreed, brushing a few strands of red hair back behind her ear. At times, it had been tempting to look at what they were doing as exciting and daring, to feel invincible as they outwitted the Carrows; but deep down, she was sure they had all felt the weight of Voldemort’s hand upon the school.
"And after the battle…" she added, shrugging once. "Hogwarts used to look like a home to me. Now, I can’t see it as anything but the place where Fred died."
What a light-hearted conversation this was turning into. Ginny gave a sharp shake of her head, trying to dismiss the thought. Dean didn’t need to hear how she was still having trouble coming to terms with being one brother less even now.
At least, she supposed, stopping and turning to look back over her shoulder at Dean as she abruptly realised that he was no longer at her side, she clearly wasn’t the only one still wrestling with last year’s demons. Whether it was what she had said or thoughts of his own that had stopped Dean in his tracks, Ginny didn’t know; nonetheless, she paused where she was to let him have his moment then catch up again.
"I keep having moments like that too," she confided once he did rejoin her. "I think everyone does."
"Sorry," Dean muttered, even though she had so readily excused his momentary shock. He hurried to catch up to her and said it again, "sorry." Dean jammed his hands deep in his pockets, feeling cold despite the fact that the rich autumn night barely carried any chill--and was certainly warmer than many nights he had spent alone under dismal skies in recent months.
He almost reached out and hugged her, remembering just in time to shove his hands back into his pockets that he probably shouldn't; it had been one thing right after the battle, when everyone still alive was hugging everyone else, whether they were actually friends or not (Dean had even hugged Michael Corner, and they had never gotten along!). Now, though, Dean was afraid that the gesture--entirely platonic though it would be, of course--might be awkward, and he didn't want to risk Ginny thinking he meant anything other than friendly comfort.
Firstly, because he didn't want to put a strain on his relationship with one of the few friends he had at school this year, and secondly because he wouldn't want Harry to think anything untoward if word got back to him--and thirdly, because Dean knew he didn't think about Ginny like that anymore, and the very idea of trying to rekindle anything her--presuming that she wasn't currently dating one of Dean's best friends--made him feel unsettled and almost queasy. And then, of course, there was the fact that he would have felt like some sort of base-born tosser if Ginny had thought that he was trying to use their mutual grief as an excuse to open some kind of predatory flirtation and take advantage of her sorrow. Nobody could ever stoop that low, surely.
"I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am about Fred," he said quietly, looking over at the red-haired girl walking next to him. "I mean, I know I said it before, and I know saying it doesn't make anything better--but I am. I really am." Dean swallowed hard, thinking about the cost they had all paid, but none higher than George Weasley and his siblings. "If I can do anything...I mean, I'm sure I can't, but if I can--help smuggle in fireworks in his honor, or just be a shoulder to lean on, whatever--I'm there. Just ask." Dean had barely been able to cope with losing his best friend for a year; what would it be like to lose the other half of yourself forever?
He shuddered, and did his best to banish the thought, because there was no comfortable answer, and the question raised a host of others that Dean didn't want to think about right now--or maybe ever. Instead he said softly, more to himself than to her, "I spent so many months thinking that I'd give up just about anything to be able to come back here. But now that I'm here...part of me wishes that I wasn't.
"You're right," Dean said heavily, "it doesn't really seem like home anymore. And we certainly aren't the only people thinking it, either," he added, looking around at the strained and baleful faces of many of the students walking with them.













