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@dearfrancois
Dear François,
It’s always a difficult transition to go from being with you, to being apart again. I loved our days together so much that I could not imagine enjoying any other way of being, even with an exciting trip ahead of me.
On the long flight over to New York, I watched “A Most Wanted Man” with Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Robin Wright from “House of Cards”. It’s an espionage film set and filmed in Hamburg. The scenes were dark and gloomy, but the city was dramatic and intriguing in this light. I can’t wait to get there in a week or so, and for you to show me your own personal landmarks in your childhood home.
It amused me that my film choices unintentionally drew a line from where I had come from, you and the connection to Hamburg, to where I was going, New York. I watched a documentary called “Advanced Style”, a film based on stylish women in New York aged 60 - 90+, taken from a blog created by Ari Seth Cohen. I loved it, I found it so inspiring to hear the stories of creative, intelligent and thoughtful women who have developed an increasing passion for style over the years, rather than let it diminish like others who just follow trends that they inevitably don’t suit in later life. It made me think very fondly of my own Mother’s sense of style, how unique it is, and how unconscious she is of her own inner-artist.
I will try to get a copy of the “Advanced Style” book for her whilst I am here. And I have chosen a very special place to look for it! Patti Smith famously used to work at book shops in New York, her favourite being Scribner’s, which is no longer open. I am going to the one she didn’t like as much but still worked at, the Strand Bookstore. I can’t wait to see what else I might come away with, perhaps a french poetry book!
I went to the New York Public Library today. I wanted to see the Schwarzman Building and especially The Rose Main Reading Room, but sadly it was closed. The visit was still worthwhile, I found a quiet spot to do my french homework whilst absorbing some of the atmosphere. A jovial security guard joked with such familiarity towards me that I couldn’t help but smile and laugh with him, allowing me two minutes grace to pack-up my things. Under the pretence of looking for the toilets, I managed to stay in the building a little longer, walking the corridors, when I heard the alluring acoustic resonance of string instruments in the main atrium. It was special to stand on the steps absorbing the fortuity of the moment in such a grand setting.
The colour and sparkle in the people and bustle around me motivates me to take inspiration where possible, and of course all of these activities roll the wheels of timer faster than I realise, so before I know it we will be together again.
Yours, Pauline
Dear François,
The most pressing thing to tell you about is how educational this weekend has been, or more significantly how self-educational it’s been. Yesterday morning first thing, I turned on an hour’s boost on my heated blanket, got back into bed with some tea, and surrounded myself with all my recipe, food and health books:
The Sugar Detox by nutritionist Brooke Alpert and dermatologist Dr Patricia Farris (I really wish I hadn’t bothered buy the iPad app, the book contains so much more!) The Candida Syndrome by Kay Hitchen I Quit Sugar by Sarah Wilson The Medicinal Chef by Dale Pinnock and Davina’s 5 Weeks to Sugar-Free… by Davina.
After some hours of reading and cross-referencing, I put together a food plan and various shopping lists mapped out over a week. The two things I really tried to keep in mind is that I am not rich in either time or money. To save the pennies I divide my shop between the local grocers, which is excellent value for money, the large supermarket, which is a necessary evil, and the frighteningly over-priced organic health-food shop. To save on time, I worked out food I can prepare ahead of time this weekend, made slightly trickier by my lack of freezer.
I want to strike a balance between not becoming obsessed with and restricted by my plan to cut-out sugar, but instead be well informed enough to make good choices. The more I read, the more I wonder how I have managed my 31 years so far to remain vaguely healthy. For example I didn’t realise fructose is so harmful to the body, or even which foods contain fructose. I had no idea about the importance of amino acids, or the good or healthy fats we should eat. I’ve always said if I could take a pill to take away hunger and not have to eat, I would. It’s true that I have often considered eating a necessity to prevent hunger pain and tiredness, and never really stopped to think about the importance of nutrition, or giving my body what it needs. I find the science hard to digest, please excuse the pun! But I do feel like I have missed a really important science lesson where all the aspects of food, diet and nutrition were covered. Am I the only one? Is everyone else learning about these things in school? Or at home? Or, like me, is it something we seek out ourselves when we start to feel symptoms of a poor diet? When I was sat in the pub later than night talking with my friends, I remarked on the realisation that discussing quinoa and 15k runs epitomised how 30-something we have all become! I’m now one of those people who makes my own kale chips and hummus. (True story, I made them this weekend and they are delicious!)
My second very important educational story is about skin care, very much linked to my healthy eating plans. The two go hand-in-hand and if an improved diet clears my skin, then I am committed for life. The protopic cream has worked miracles on the eczema on my face. As everyone else on the internet said, that first night of agonising skin burn is undeniably worth it when you see the eczema completely disappear within 4-5 days. And for a few days my skin cleared and it was relatively spot-free. However, a few spots have started appearing again, and so I decided to start the dermatologist’s second miracle cream, Retin-A-Micro. I very tentatively applied this for the first time last night, after warnings of it causing quite significant face peeling. And again my research led me into new areas of scientific knowledge. The main component of this cream is vitamin A, also called Retinol, which is in fact present in a lot of over-the-counter products at a far lower potency.
The Sugar Detox book contains a “dermal detox” section with incredible facts about skin care and products. Once again I could rant a little about missing this science, or life lesson too, but the truth is that I didn’t ever really pay attention because I never thought it applied to me. Whenever a cosmetics salesperson would ask what my skin care regime was, I would practically laugh in their face. And even when a good friend who worked in the beauty industry quite rightly berated me for sometimes not even removing my make-up at night, I still didn’t heed her advice. Well, now I realise the importance of looking after my skin, and I have a lot of making up to do. The dermal detox suggests a daily routine which is a new concept I am eager to embrace, including cleansing, protecting, SPF and skin repair. I now have quite a wish list of products which add up to a pretty penny:
Keihl’s Rare Earth Pore Cleansing Masque Origins Drink Up Intensive Overnight Mask Keihl’s Ultra Facial Cleanser Olay Regenerist Regenerating Serum Fragrance Free Keihl’s Ultra Light Daily Defense SPF 50 Olay Regenerist Night Renewal Elixir Olay Cleansing Brush
All in all this rounds-up a weekend focused on taking care of myself, in lots of different ways. As well as learning about nutrition and skin-care, I am starting a new daily habit of listening to the 10-minute mindfulness meditations on the Headspace app whilst doing my physio, or more accurately, postural exercises. I also spent time with friends, and talking to family, I went swimming, watched Birdman at the cinema, and now I am about to struggle with my French homework of relative clauses and when to use 'qui' or 'que'.
I absolutely cannot wait to see you later this week. You come into my mind so often in relation to all these things going on in my day-to-day. As you can tell from my letters, you’re the person I want to share it all with.
Yours, Pauline