it’s time to think too much about the way alex reacts to ray vs how he reacts to caleb so here we go, alex and authority figures 2.0:
there’s a part of alex’s story that i can never really stop thinking about, and that’s his relationship to authority figures. i’ve made a post about alex looking up to caleb before so bear with me there might be repetitions.
alex—compared to reggie who latches onto ray immediately, and luke who has the parent plotline—doesn’t have a parent-related development throughout the show. all we learn about his family is from what luke mentions (i know we learn shit all about reggie aside from luke’s comment either, but his genuine attachment to ray is incredibly beloved and gives him an indirect sort of connection there). and still, alex’s relationship with authority is a neat little thread my mind keeps getting wrapped up in. alex, with his most recent memory of it being his parents and their bad response to him being gay, doesn’t fuck with authority or parents, a trauma that is intrinsically connected to how he responds to the two major authority figures we have within the show.
like there IS a wonderful authority figure in ray. ray is a great parent and a genuinely nice person. but, and here i reach back to my ‘alex’s parents were great before he came out based on luke saying “they were never cool again”’ headcanon, alex has known people like ray, grew up with them, was raised by them. nice, genuine, accommodating parental figures that seem to want nothing but good things for you. he doesn’t trust it, refuses to fall for it again. he’s dismissive and distant, waving ray off and never engaging with him (as far as they can engage given ray doesn’t know they’re there), despite reggie’s immense attachment. alex keeps his distance.
and then there’s caleb. bright, queer, loudly encouraging caleb who overruns alex’s walls using not just willie but himself. he’s flamboyant and entertaining, sees alex and gives him male dancers, seemingly accommodating to every bit of alex. and it’s exactly what alex needs, to be shown no hesitation, no difference. just immediate understanding and encouragement. caleb is like him, alex thinks, caleb understands and supports and provides this queer space of celebration and freedom. alex is awed, fully drawn into the magic and the absolutely overwhelming experience of being at a place he can be himself in, with people who won’t blink an eye, who are like him, who will support him. alex might not have been looking for an authority figure, but sheer relief and caleb’s intentional digging completely obliterate his walls regarding this topic. alex kind of ends up looking at caleb with stars in his eyes, not to mention the fact that where caleb is, willie is.
then he learns what caleb is really doing, that caleb manipulated him, and alex is burned again. and there’s ray, still being an understanding father, going along with carlos’s ghost hunting shenanigans, giving reggie some form of connection without even knowing it. and alex still can’t get himself to accept it. sure, part of it is the fact that they won’t be sticking around, so why get attached now that there’s only days if not hours left? but he sticks stubbornly to his dismissal of ray despite reggie’s nudging and just barely acknowledges that he isn’t completely indifferent towards the molinas.
alex allowed himself to trust an adult, an almost fatherly figure, and got stuck with a looming axe above his and his friends’ necks. ray is sweet and wonderful and such a good father, but alex can’t trust again. he tried it, tried it in a place that felt safer than with a man who is already a father with a family, and still got let down. he could admit that ray is worth more than his dismissal, but that would be opening himself up to disappointment and betrayal again. so he doubles down, even if he ends up admitting that he will miss the molinas when they go. he can’t get himself to take that extra step of dismantling his walls again, even when there is no more time or even really any circumstances in which ray could betray him. and honestly, who can blame him?
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