Hawks > my life

dabihawks ♡ / Hawks stan / Dabi anti / Yes I am in eternal conflict with myself

[decaffeinatedcrack]

Lmao Dabi saying some shit like "you're mine" to Hawks trying to come off all sexy and hot and Hawks being sent into an existential crisis about how the commission owns him and now Dabi’s claiming to own him and how he'll never be able to exist as his own person with his own identity.

[decaffeinatedcrack]

Who's your favorite philosopher of the enlightenment? Locke? Voltaire? Rousseau? WRONG.

Diderot is the greatest philosopher of the enlightenment because he was the only one who did shit.

Voltaire was all bark no bite, Locke had his head so far up his optimistic ass that he couldn't have implemented any of his ideas if he tried, and Rousseau was Rousseau.

All of the enlightened philosophers believed in and advocated for equal education yet Diderot was the only person to actually provide it.

With his Encyclopedia he managed to distribute knowledge regardless of social class. It started out only for the rich but with modified versions, thinner paper and less pictures, he was able to make it cheaper and available to all. It became a household item that could teach people anything they needed to know.

Was it free schooling? No. But, as a commoner, it was both the most he could do and the biggest step towards indiscrimant education that any philosopher had ever taken.

Diderot is THE best philosopher of the enlightenment, period.

[decaffeinatedcrack]

I love the dub-con cuddling tag so much

Before I start talking, let's establish that there is no such thing as 'dub-con', 9 times out of 10 it's just coercion (which is rape).

The reason I like the dub-con cuddling tag, is because with the type of fics it's usually written into (from my experience either Stockholm syndrome or just heavily biased power dynamics), it can only be dub-con.

This might seems obvious bc it's labeled dub-con, why wouldn't it be, but my point is that it will never be written as non-con.

These fics usually focus on the mental distress of the character being cuddled because of how the repulsion they feel for the person cuddling them clashes with their human desire for physical affection. This tag can never be non-con because some primitive part of the person will always want it.

I use this mostly in the context of dabihawks (bc I always do, also be aware in this AU Dabi’s pretty obsessive) and like the idea of sometime after the war, with Hawks in the hospital immobilized for his injuries, waking up in the middle of the night to Dabi breaking into Hawks hospital room through the window. He can't move, can barely talk, and is absolutely terrified by just the sight of Dabi. Dabi, irrationally happy at seeing Hawks weak and helpless and obsessively in love with him, cannot stop himself from erratically shoving the comforters off the hospital bed and forcibly embracing him. His arms loop themselves around Hawks waist and dig into the scarring on his back, he pushes every inch of his body onto Hawks and puts pressure in places that would make Hawks scream in pain if he could, and he nudges his face right against Hawks’s burn scar. Dabi is deliriously happy: he has Hawks immobilized, there is no resistance, and he has the freedom to do whatever he wants to the person he loves most in the world. Dabi is fucking ecstatic.

Hawks is terrified and absolutely repulsed. The person who had ruined his entire life, who had taken away a key part of his identity, was currently pressing himself against Hawks with such an eery familiarity that he felt like he might throw up.

Anyway it would just go into the psychological war that Hawks would be fighting between his learned repulsion and natural desires.

I might write a fic of this idk.

[decaffeinatedcrack]

Ok ok so I headcannon for Hawks that silence is unwelcome because it causes him to think. Not having anything to distract himself from the constant anxieties and worries that plague his mind is borderline painful.

So in his spare time he avidly listens to music because he needs something to combat the silence. But he still feels the need to stay aware (because of his commission background and constant paranoia) so he therefore needs to listen to music that will guarantee there isn’t silence but still allow him to focus somewhat.

And what music is loud yet not distracting? Death metal!

Most people cannot read nor work while listening to music because the lyrics distract them. Therefore classical music and jazz is suggested to work to because there aren't lyrics.

But, if you listen to metal where there is so much screaming you cannot comprehend the words, it has the same effect.

And because Hawks is all about going fast, the tempo of the music would suit his mind better than classical or jazz.

Therefore listening to death metal would allow Hawks to stay alert AND never let his mind be silent!

(I totally headcannon this based on that logic and not the fact that I myself listen to death metal and want Hawks to also)

[decaffeinatedcrack]

ALSO not at all a similar thought process to the last one but for Dabi I headcannon him as a classical music listener.

He grew up rich and I'd like to think some stuff from his background stuck with him.

I'd imagine there would always be Mozart or Bach playing in the todoroki household and it was one of the few things dabi enjoyed about that place.

He'd listen to beethoven, who was kind of like the punk rock of his time, as a mini rebellion but stuck with classical music as he grew up.

(Also if you think he would listen to 'darker' stuff then know that he listens to emo music. It is a sub-culture and a music genre all of its own, it is not metal nor rock, and it is the only thing he could tolerate. He finds out that Hawks listens to death metal at some point and tries to listen to it to but genuinely curls back in disgust like 'this is barely music how can you like this')

[decaffeinatedcrack]

Ok ok so I headcannon for Hawks that silence is unwelcome because it causes him to think. Not having anything to distract himself from the constant anxieties and worries that plague his mind is borderline painful.

So in his spare time he avidly listens to music because he needs something to combat the silence. But he still feels the need to stay aware (because of his commission background and constant paranoia) so he therefore needs to listen to music that will guarantee there isn’t silence but still allow him to focus somewhat.

And what music is loud yet not distracting? Death metal!

Most people cannot read nor work while listening to music because the lyrics distract them. Therefore classical music and jazz is suggested to work to because there aren't lyrics.

But, if you listen to metal where there is so much screaming you cannot comprehend the words, it has the same effect.

And because Hawks is all about going fast, the tempo of the music would suit his mind better than classical or jazz.

Therefore listening to death metal would allow Hawks to stay alert AND never let his mind be silent!

(I totally headcannon this based on that logic and not the fact that I myself listen to death metal and want Hawks to also)

[decaffeinatedcrack]

I genuinely find it so interesting how in Modern AUs of DabiHawks, Hawks tends to be like rich or well-off and Dabi’s either just scraping by or middle class.

In my mind, Dabi is forever the privileged rich one and and Hawks is the one fighting tooth and nail to survive because in their formative years, that's what they were.

It is so important to people's mindsets and personalities how they grew up and what they were introduced to in their main stages of development. People are shaped by their experiences, but the early ones in which you're still trying to comprehend basic concepts and define what everything is are so much more impactful.

Therefore I always have seen Hawks as someone who even when wealthy, is heavily connected to his experience in poverty as a child and never takes what he has for granted. While I view Dabi as someone who even with his less than wealthy experience (idk if he was homeless or found somewhere to stay after he 'died') still carries some bias with him from his rich background.

Anyway, in modern AUs I usually characterize Hawks as struggling and Dabi as rich.

(Also this all came to be because I read a dabihawks fic that had a mini rant about Hawks being an out of touch rich person with so much wealth that he couldn't understand regular people's struggles and I was like wtf he literally grew up in poverty)

[decaffeinatedcrack]

Ok so one of my absolute favorite dabihawks takes is that Dabi burnt Hawks wings off (permanently in this au) because he saw that the commission was hurting Hawks and knew that the only way Hawks could get out was if he was useless to the Commission.

Therefore, he burnt off Hawks's wings permanently without telling him or alerting him beforehand because he knew Hawks would object (bc in Dabi’s mind he was brainwashed).

And that being the motivation behind Dabi’s horrendous act fills me with such vindictive joy because think about it:

Dabi resents his father for training him to be a hero all of his life then dropping him when he found someone better.

In Endeavor's mind, he wasn't wrong in what he did. Toya was the collateral to a better future. His quirk hurt him and therefore he would've been happier as anything other than a hero. Endeavor uses the power he holds both as a parent and as the number 2 hero (at the time) to stop Toya's training and then sweep him under the rug. He did what he thought was right without asking how Toya felt nor thinking of the consequences.

And are Hawks’s wings not just the collateral for the supposed happy life he will live after? Is Dabi not just exercising absolute power onto someone whom he does not understand? Dabi is doing what he thinks is right (not what is right, but what he believes is right because there is a difference) and not caring for nor assessing the consequences of his actions.

He is forcing a future onto Hawks that he believes is better just like Endeavor did to him.

He demonstrates the behavior that is usually characteristic of heroes with ignorant savior complexes that Dabi (and all villains) hate.

He mirrors his father's behavior and cannot see that because he is both blinded by his hate for Endeavor and the love he feels for Hawks because Hawks will be getting a better future (he does not have the fucking authority to make that decision).

(I also imagine Hawks in his empty apartment on the floor, struggling to keep himself upright while screaming this at Dabi. And breaking a little inside because Dabi isn't just like Endeavor, he's like the commission, also in this sense.)

[decaffeinatedcrack]

I got too fucking attached to this fucking character and now the fucking Manga gods decided to fuck with him and his life is in fucking shambles and breaking into tiny fucking pieces right before his and my fucking eyes and half the Fandom fucking hates him and it frustrates me to no fucking end and I need a fanfic to heal him right fucking now without being ship centered with the person who fucking destroyed him or y/n because he needs to fucking heal on his fucking own and I will not fucking accept that "Yeah his entire life fell apart but he's in love so it's ok" bullshit.

I'm also in love with his dad who has not shown in the Manga and is a horrible person because a fanfic made him hot and gave him redemption.

Fuck

Fuck-ety fuck fuck

[decaffeinatedcrack]

Top ten things I hate

Number one: Myself

---

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

[decaffeinatedcrack]

God, I just want to be alone