Snail

Im 18, call me snail please. If you want. Im a menhera, a jirai too i think

[decaymenhera]

Hello i just made this blog i still dont know how or why but i hope itll make me feel better in some way, i dont know many things in general, idk how to make things cool and pretty and stuff right now.

Im a menhera. A jirai too.

Im 18

You can call me Snail

I dont like lots of foods i like a few foods and i eat them rarely

Im always sick physically and mentally

I get upset easily

Ive been going to therapy centers etc since i was 8

Im trying my best to be good

I like fashion, j fashion makes me happy.

I like music alot but songs dont register well in my mind anymore.

I like candy alot, konpeito are cute and yummy. I tried it once, id like to have it again. I like the rainbow stripes things candy that are sour too. And i like gummy bears.

Sour candy is good but too sour makes me do weird faces.

Im losing alot of my senses lately

I made this blog as a record for my memory because im scared i will slip by soon, i have diagnosed schizophrenia.

I like mangas alot, alot of mangas that alot of people dont know, lately i cant read many though. I dont have the energy to list many. But i like yuri alot, i like psychological horror, i like cute artstyles, i like alot of things like that. I like happy sugar life, killer in love, noa senpai wa tomodachi, shounen no abyss, yuri espoir, sailor moon.

I like old rpg games, my favorite is the Witch’s house. I even got the manga, i like it alot.

My favorite sanrio character is My sweet piano.

Everything hurts alot and i wanna help myself.

I like plushies

I like snails and cats.

Im a normal girl like any other on tumblr which is why i hope i can find people i can relate to.

[sweetbittersweets]

[anzuhan]

inspired by this tweet

[anzuhan]

werewolf boyfriend / oh oh oh sexy vampire ; @ disko warp

[decaymenhera]

Am i losing people by pushing them away? Why dont i ever take into consideration other people’s feelings? I dont understand im so confused

[decaymenhera]

I always do the same things i make the people around me bored and tired of me, i wish i wasnt such a bother

[figdointed]

[puppykei]

No!! Menhera helped me a lot and made me realize that mental illness, even on your worst messiest days, isnt shameful. It’s not something to fetishize or glamorize, but it’s okay to express. Sometimes Menhera-chan is

and sometimes she’s

And it makes me happy to see both represented. And I think seeing this kind of representation really helped me to open up and talk about what I was feeling to get help! I say use whatever you want to as an aesthetic if it feels good to you

[decaymenhera]

Nightmares blend with reality, cant tell which is which anymore.

[decaymenhera]

My heart is aching, what if he sees me the way i see myself? How could he lie to my face and call me pretty? I look so disgusting.

[decaymenhera]

“In the future” “in a few years” “when we will see each other” “when we get older”

Im sorry, I love you.

[decaymenhera]

Itd be nice to never wake up again

[decaymenhera]

For me sleeping is a cruel joke now. Knowing ill wake up to live another painful day, knowing ill wake up at all.. it is really scary, between all the nightmares ive been having while sleeping and the nightmare that is being awake i cant tell which is which anymore.

[decaymenhera]

@wonderland-loon just a sketch i made on my sketchbook, i traced it from my sketchbook and i thought it looked a little good, the original drawing has cuts but im scared to post things like that in case it bugs someone.

My boyfriend didnt sound very sure when he saw it, so i dont know if i like it.

This is my OC her name is Lilly. Thank you for asking to see it, it made me happy.

Its nice to know someone wanted to look at it.

[jiraisekai]

@inuwoartwork

[decaymenhera]

I feel like im a burden to everyone around me, my boyfriend is trying so hard to help me but i keep selfishly feeling like he doesnt understand, though im too weak to explain. I wish feelings werent complicated, its just plain logical to me that i dont have a future, and he insists that i can have one and that i have to work for it. But what do you do when you just dont want a future? When you dont wanna try to have one? I wanna leave him, so he doesnt have to suffer with someone like me. I think i should get on my meds again and see if i can push through.

[decaymenhera]

I really like this drawing i made but im scared to post it, my boyfriend saw it and he didnt seem to like it very much. This was a long time ago, i did it a long time ago but im stlll thinking about the fact he didnt seem to like it. He would never tell me its bad outright although hes very honest, thats why im scared. Am i supposed to think about such irrelevant things

[menherascribbles]