There seems to be a consensus that the official condiment in America is mayonnaise. I didn't vote on it, but even if there was a vote it wouldn't matter. My condiment of choice probably doesn't even crack the top three behind mayonnaise, ketchup and salsa.
Mustard is a condiment enjoyed by few people. I am not trying to convince people to join the mustard contingent. I have been trying to persuade people to love mustard ever since elementary school when I would empty mustard packets directly in my mouth. Everybody thought it was gross. Nobody winced when someone would to that with ketchup.
This is for people who love mustard. My Chicago dog wouldn't be the same without it. The only way I can eat a fast food hamburger that has ketchup or mayonnaise is to drown it in mustard. You don't put ketchup on a salty soft pretzel, or at least you shouldn't. That is one of the few foods that dedicates mustard to the food. Pastrami on rye is another food that is acceptable to use mustard.
Every fast food joint, every sub features mayonnaise as the default. People tell me not to knock it until I try it, but I've tried mayo on most things. It is not for me. I don't even get the appeal. It doesn't matter. From french fries and tater tots to onion rings, it complements these fried foods. Chicken tenders are very versatile with what dipping sauce is to be used. It tastes good with almost anything. If the worker at the drive thru doesn't give you that hot sauce you asked for, there is always mustard to fall back on.
I won't get mad at you if you put mustard on my corndog. I've eaten tortillas with nothing on them, heat them in the microwave, take it out and spread mustard all over it. There is always mustard on my ham sandwiches. There is one concession I will make about my go to sub sandwich. I always ask for oil and vinegar on my italian sub.
Even in the Chinese food restaurant my favorite condiment is the hot mustard. The only caveat here is that Chinese restaurants no longer make their own mustard. This may have started me on my path to mustard. There was a restaurant in Manassas in the 80's and early 90's that my father would take the family to once a week. It used to be family owned and the mustard was made fresh. It was so spicy it would take my breath away, but there was something about the flavor that captivated me. I started putting it on my egg rolls. then I would put it on the crispy bits that go with the egg drop soup.
It really is a shame that the Chinese food restaurants don't make fresh hot mustard anymore. It is probably the best tasting mustard of all. The packages of hot mustard are pale facsimiles of something great.
Mustard salad and mustard deviled eggs are better than the mayo version. I know I am alone. These aren't fighting words, but an exploration to something, It could be the new hipster fad. Mustard on everything. Everyone is not doing it, because it has never been a thing. No celebrity chef features it on their shows. It would be a brand new trend that would be understood by few. I could be right in the middle of a hipster fad for the first time ever.
There is a national mustard day, but nobody, not even me knows when it is. It is a floating holiday like Columbus Day. To all the mustard lovers, there will be a certain amount of furrowed brows and ewws when you mention your partiality to the stuff. I say spread and squirt that golden flavor wherever it makes you happy.
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