Mr Blue Sky

Dedalus Aelus Diggle. 32. Former Hufflepuff. The unspeakable who never shuts up. Glass-half-full kind of bloke.

[deddalusdiggle-blog]

w-mxlly‌:

@deddalusdiggle

Diggle, como conseguiu? Charlie e Bill não param de falar sobre o quão incrível foi tê-lo aqui e eles dormiram a noite inteira e ainda comeram vegetais. Qual foi a ameaça? Tem que ter sido algo muito bom, até o Percy está comportado.

Molly dear, eu poderia levar todo o crédito, mas a verdade é que seus filhos são bem fáceis de lidar...

Acho que o segredo para lidar com crianças está em pensar como uma criança and let me tell you, I nail it. Mas sério, sempre que você e Arthur precisarem de uma mão, não hesitem em me chamar. Se os tios de verdade são uns imprestáveis, pelo menos vocês podem contar com o tio postiço. 

[deddalusdiggle-blog]

drcsmdwss‌:

You said it first. 

We are wizards, DD, I am quite certain there are spells that could help with that. Wasn’t Charms your strong suit back in Hogwarts?

Well, it hurts a bit more coming from your best mate... Oops.

I mean, sure, but where’s the intimacy in that? Where’s the human contact? Where’s the sacrifice? I could just as well turn vomit into roses but that’s not the point. And that would be Transfiguration instead of Charms... also not the point. The point is... in the words of Mercury, the muggle singer, not the planet: Whenever this world is cruel to you. You got me to help you forgive. In loose, but convenient, adaptation. 

[deddalusdiggle-blog]

jorkinsb:

Listen this outloud is more stranger than I thought… And now I finally know that Mr. Pumpkin is in a better place, I hope.

OH MY GOD! We’re mates, both of us had sad experiences involving birthday party, but I agree with you that the history of dead-cat-birthday are more tragic than yours. And you don’t need apoligize with me, I’m a talkative person and  I can talk for hours about my life, others people life, so you can tell me to shup up if I started to talk a lot.

My grandma says everyday that I have the beauty from my mom, but I’ve my doubts ‘cause she’s too old and she delirantes sometimes, but I like to believe that is true, somewho I feel more close to her. And I promise that I won’t kill you, you’re too cute and funny for that.

For one moment I started to think that was true, and now I’m more relaxed knowing this is a joke. Well, I don’t know this girl, but I think that you’re better without her 'cause we’re drinking and having a lot of fun.

So we’re birds of a feather. I mean, really, I never shut up. Legend has it I even talk in my sleep. Like, hold entire conversations! Looking back on it, maybe that’s why my ex left me. Damn, that talk keeps taking a depressing turn. 

How can you not know if you look like her? Have you guys heard about photographs? Paintings? Stick figures? Literally any kind of visual representation? I bet it’s true, though. I mean, I can’t attest to your mum’s beauty, but I can attest to yours and I don’t think your grandma would lie to you. Maybe about Santa, but not about that. 

Well, cheers to that! Hold on, I’ll be right back. 

[deddalusdiggle-blog]

drcsmdwss:

Hey, it is you who is making it a competition. I could never beat you at seconhand embarassment, though.

Riveting. You never had the common courtesy of doing it for me either, which at least would make us even at that. 

That’s... very true and slightly hurtful. 

Well, wait a minute... that’s only because you have a high tolerance for alcohol and I’m always the first to get drunk. Otherwise I’d totally hold your hair. And your purse. And your hand. And maybe a bucket so you can puke, but I’m running out of hands.

[deddalusdiggle-blog]

drcsmdwss:

Only because you weren’t in my year back in the day.

Kidding. Although, I’ve got to say I’d expected to be the best one, not one of the good ones. I mean, I’ve been putting up with you for the last two decades, if it shows something, it’s that I’m at least very loyal or very persistent. 

Easy, Dorky. This is not a competition. Because if it was we both know I would kill you. 

Kill you with secondhand embarassment, that is. But still... You gotta make do with what you have. 

Well, you’re a fairly good mate, but the best? Wow. Calm down, tiger. Have you ever held my hair back when I had too much to drink? I don’t think so. I know my hair is short but that’s beside the point. You should hold it back regardless just to prove yourself. 

[deddalusdiggle-blog]

jorkinsb:

Thinking well, my worst birthday ever happen when I was 9. My cat died three days before and no one told me, and then I passed the whole day thought that Mr. Pumpkin has run away. Okay, that history is too morbidity and sad, I don’t know why I told you that. The universe has a strange way to say “Bertha Jorkins, stop to cry right now ‘cause you’re a amazing and lucky girl”, but thank you to cheer me up!

Maybe I could buy you a drinking to poison you, but this sounds a little cliche and most likely I would go to Azkaban, and I’m too young and pretty to go to jail. The second time this week? This is to bad. You don’t look a creepy guy or something like that. What you did to this happen? Please, tell me that you don’t have any bizarre fetish. I could lie and say that your phrase doesn’t sounded dirty, but this could be a line for a sex tape that would be call “Uh-oh, I Hope It Doesn’t Get Too Sexual”.

You see? Dead-cat-birthday is much worse, no contest! 

Once I got dumped in my birthday... which she forgot. And then I went home to discover that my flatmate had moved in with her. And he also forgot my birthday, which was the real betrayal here. But at least some of my pals throwed me a surprise party later that night, so I’m afraid that’s no match for the dead-cat-birthday either. Sorry ‘bout that, when I drink, I overshare... Well, sometimes I overshare when I’m sober too, that’s kind of my thing.

Definitely too young and pretty to end up in Azkaban. And I’m not saying that just to discourage you from poisoning me, even though... please, don’t. Also, have you seen dementors? Something tells me they’re not really your type. 

Yeaaah, second time this week. Can you believe it? Just because I like to pretend I’m a baby during sex, wearing dipers and shitting myself... that’s a joke, by the way. Unless that’s your thing, in which case I’m sorry, I’m no kink-shamer. 

[deddalusdiggle-blog]

drcsmdwss:

Always a charmer, ain’t you, DD? 

Sorry about Cattermole. Maybe he bumped into the girl I work with that was supposed to meet me here and, well, they got lucky? Or perhaps he really didn’t want to pay that butterbeer y’know? Cattermole never striked me as the cheap type but you never know these days.

Well, Charms was my strong suit back in Hogwarts... 

Yeah, well, who knows? I wasn’t even that interested in the butterbeer to be honest. I was just looking for company. I need to find better friends... No offense. You’re one of the good ones. 

[deddalusdiggle-blog]

jorkinsb:

@deddalusdiggle

… And then nobody went to my birthday party, how you can see. This is so tragic! I know that I can talk a lot about other people life, but it doesn’t make me a bad person. Or do? This is officially my worst birthday.

And this drink is by my own, it’s my way to say: “thank you for listen to me complain about my life and about my birthday”.

C’mon, it’s not really your worst birthday, is it? You look fairly collected. Besides, how could that be your worst birthday when you just met me? I’d make an interesting, slightly weird birthday gift. Let’s focus on the “interesting” part, though. Pretty sure it’s the universe’s odd way of saying “happy birthday”. 

You see? You’re not a bad person at all. Would a bad person buy a complete stranger a drink? I don’t think so. I mean, maybe, depending on the person’s intentions... but you get the gist. Thanks, kiddo... I’m really sorry no one showed up, that sucks. My date stood me up too. Second time this week. Hey, you know what? I’ve got an idea! Why don’t we join forces to turn our disastrous plans into a night we won’t forget? Uh, sorry, does that sound dirty? Didn’t sound pervy in my head but once I said it aloud... Oh, well. 

[deddalusdiggle-blog]

drcsmdwss:

Is this seat taken?

What are you doing here all alone, Diggle? 

‘Sup Dork! Please, it’s all yours! Waiting for you, of course!

Ok, that was creepy. I was actually waiting for Cattermole, he owes me a round of butterbeer, but it seems the son of a witch is not going to show up at all. You? 

[ic4ruz]