consulting dragon slayer

a description is not my division

[zsww-moved-to-pillowfort-deacti]

[dojahcats]

Mood all summer ‘17

[oamisoa-deactivated20160323]

I love it when people tell me about me because I have no idea who I am

[syzzygys]

[dreamlightasafeather]

IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

Here is an example video

[t-pose-to-assert-gayness]

Reblog to literally save a life

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

I’ve done this.  I’m alive because of this. 

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

They’ve heard this sort of coded call before.  They’re trained for it.  They will understand what you’re saying.  Order the pizza.

[tastefullyoffensive]

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“I AM THE BAG DOGE

GUARDIAN OF THIS BAG”

[sexysuni]

That person must have a really strong upper body to carry that doge

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Right?

Gonna lift this whole doggo <3

[cryoverkiltmilk]

A bag is just a hug that takes you places. (:

[geniusorinsanity]

this is the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve ever seen

[flyingeagleclaw]

A BAG IS JUST A HUG THAT TAKES YOU PLACES!!!!!!!

[memewhore]

[kkiyomi-deactivated20140909]

Splash Mountain Photos

[scottman99]

YES

[mythologyhotspot-blog-deactivat]

It’s funnier everytime I see it.

[disneyprincess10]

still one of my all time favourite posts

[gh0stiiee]

this should be a new drawing challenge, draw the squad at splash mountain

[attackon-mysanity-blog]

I wish I could draw

[mahihkun]

[dantesge]

Supernatural Masterpost

Season 1

Pilot l Wendigo l Dead In The Water l Phantom Traveler l Bloody Mary l Skin l Hook Man l Bugs l Home l Asylum l Scarecrow l Faith l Route 666 l Nightmare l The Benders l Shadow l Hell House l Something Wicked l Provenance l Dead Man’s Blood l Salvation l Devil’s Trap

Season 2

In My Time of Dying l Everybody Loves A Clown l Bloodlust l Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things l Simon Said l No Exit l The Usual Suspects l Crossroad Blues l Croatoan l Hunted l Playthings l Nightshifter l Houses of the Holy l Born Under A Bad Sign l Tall Tales l Roadkill l Heart l Hollywood Babylon l Folsom Prison Blues l What Is and What Should Never Be l All Hell Breaks Loose, Part 1 l All Hell Breaks Loose, Part 2

Season 3

The Magnificent Seven l The Kids Are Alright l Bad Day at Black Rock l Sin City l Bedtime Stories l Red Sky At Morning l Fresh Blood l A Very Supernatural Christmas l Malleus Maleficarum l Dream A Little Dream Of Me l Mystery Spot l Jus In Bello l Ghostfacers l Long-Distance Call l Time Is On My Side l No Rest For The Wicked

Season 4

Lazarus Rising l Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester l In the Beginning l Metamorphosis l Monster Movie l Yellow Fever l It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester l Wishful Thinking l I Know What You Did Last Summer l Heaven and Hell l Family Remains l Criss Angel Is a Douchebag l After School Special l Sex and Violence l Death Takes a Holiday l On the Head of a Pin l It’s a Terrible Life l The Monster at the End of This Book l Jump the Shark l The Rapture l When the Levee Breaks l Lucifer Rising

Season 5

Sympathy for the Devil l Good God, Y'all! l Free to Be You and Me l The End l Fallen Idol l I Believe the Children Are Our Future l The Curious Case of Dean Winchester l Changing Channels l The Real Ghostbusters l Abandon All Hope… l Sam, Interrupted l Swap Meat l The Song Remains the Same l My Bloody Valentine l Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid l Dark Side of the Moon l 99 Problems l Point of No Return l Hammer of the Gods l The Devil You Know l Two Minutes to Midnight l Swan Song

Season 6

Exile On Main St. l Two and a Half Men l The Third Man l Weekend at Bobby’s l Live Free or Twihard l You Can’t Handle the Truth l Family Matters l All Dogs Go to Heaven l Clap Your Hands If You Believe l Caged Heat l Appointment in Samarra l Like a Virgin l Unforgiven l Mannequin 3: The Reckoning l The French Mistake l …And Then There Were None l My Heart Will Go On l Frontierland l Mommy Dearest l The Man Who Would Be King l Let It Bleed l The Man Who Knew Too Much

Season 7

Meet the New Boss l Hello Cruel World l The Girl Next Door l Defending Your Life l Shut Up, Dr. Phil l Slash Fiction l The Mentalists l Seven Seven, Time for a Wedding! l How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters l Death’s Door l Adventures in Babysitting l Time After Time l The Slice Girls l Plucky Pennywhistle’s Magic Menagerie l Repo Man l Out With the Old l The Born-Again Identity l Party On, Garth l Of Grave Importance l The Girl With the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo l Reading Is Fundamental l There Will Be Blood l Survival of the Fittest

Season 8

We Need to Talk About Kevin l What’s Up, Tiger Mommy? l Heartache l Bitten l Blood Brother l Southern Comfort l A Little Slice of Kevin l Hunteri Heroici l Citizen Fang l Torn and Frayed l LARP and the Real Girl l As Time Goes By l Everybody Hates Hitler l Trial and Error l Man’s Best Friend with Benefits l Remember the Titans l Goodbye Stranger l Freaks and Geeks l Taxi Driver l Pac-Man Fever l The Great Escapist l Clip Show l Sacrifice

Season 9

I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here l Devil May Care l I’m No Angel l Slumber Party l Dog Dean Afternoon l Heaven Can’t Wait l Bad Boys l Rock and a Hard Place l Holy Terror l Road Trip l First Born l Sharp Teeth l The Purge l Captives l #THINMAN l Blade Runners l Mother’s Little Helper l Meta Fiction l Alex Annie Alexis Ann l Bloodlines l King of the Damned l Stairway to Heaven l Do You Believe in Miracles

Season 10

Black l Reichenbach l Soul Survivor l Paper Moon l Fan Fiction l Ask Jeeves l Girls, Girls, Girls l Hibbing 911 l The Things We Leave Behind l The Hunter Games l There’s No Place Like Home l About a Boy l Halt & Catch Fire l The Executioner’s Song l The Things They Carried l Paint it Black l Inside Man l Book of the Damned l The Werther Project l Angel Heart l Dark Dynasty l The Prisoner l Brother’s Keeper

If a link doesn’t work let me know. Feel free to request another series.

Will be updating whenever an episode airs.

[thebestoftumbling]

[14kgold]

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK???????????

[brassmanticore]

His name is Mehdat Mamdouh, he’s a 22-year-old hip hop and dubstep recorder player from Cairo.  He’s been teaching himself this style since he was 14.  This article links to his social media sites.  He’s on Facebook and YouTube and Soundcloud.

[sonoanthony]

I reblogged this video before but I think it’s only right to reblog it with his info.

[fairweathermyth]

The cast wants it as much as we do. GIMME.

[nerdfighterwhatevernumbers]

Why lgbt people are mad about Le Fou in case it wasn’t obvious

[readableposts]

nerdfighterwhatevernumbers:

The first gay Disney character is literally named The Fool

He’s unrequitedly in love with a straight man

A straight man who bullies and abuses him

Le Fou will 99% likely not get a happy ending

He’s being played by someone known to be straight

His sexuality is basically a joke

His sexuality is likely to be the butt of a joke the entire movie

We already know the character will be the butt of the joke even if his sexuality itself isn’t

His entire role in the movie is to be evil and stupid comic relief and boost Gaston’s self-esteem 

He’s described as “confused” 

Queercoding villains and Disney go together like peanut butter and jelly 

Disney is patting itself on the back for all of this

His character description is stereotypical

Le Fou being gay for Gaston is already something of a cultural joke

He’s barely in the movie

He’s the only gay person in a love story, he will end up alone and evil

People have been saying how you could improve the story by making it gay for years and of all the ideas this is the worst possible option for picking a gay character

We coulda had lesbian Beast

Kids will have this as their first gay Disney character

For some kids this will be their first gay character period

It will be their only gay Disney character

They chose to make a shot for shot remake of the animated movie with the most whitebread actors and the only thing they want to change up is making the evil fool gay

Disney could get away with any kind of lgbt character because they are a monolith yet they choose this

[caps removed and spaces added for accessibility]

[anodymalion]

I realized that a bunch of my favorite vines are ones I haven’t seen in any vine complications and I was afraid of losing them to the void so here you are (plus some classics that I couldn’t leave out)

Part 2

[brucee-waynee]

I remember when I was a kid, I got into web design by ripping off sites I liked. All you had to do was “view source” on your browser and there it was, the code. You could copy-paste it, modify it a little, put your name on it, and like that, it was your site. View source. What if we had that for people? Would people really wanna see? 

[kiwimidnight]

This    the    world    we    live  in.

[unicorn-ghost]

Rami Malek’s facial expressions are the description of my whole life.