the butterfly stands silently
inside the man's clasped hands
the last time his palms opened,
it was still a caterpillar,
and the man thought
it would grow to become a moth.
"you'll come sit on my finger,
flutter away in my hair," he said
"you can be whatever kind of moth you want! do anything, go anywhere! but only when you grow up to be a big moth, okay?"
the caterpillar was so excited!
it couldn't wait
to grow up and live
such a fun and adventurous life
it didn't know it was going to be a butterfly, and the man certainly didn't either.
when it started making it's chrysalis,
the man closed his hands around the young caterpillar.
"work hard in your shell, and I'll see you once you're a bright young moth! then you'll be able to do all those fun adult things!"
but inside the chrysalis
the caterpillar started noticing
it wasn't much of a moth at all!
for a while it was something in between
a moth and a butterfly, and that felt right
but as it came out of its shell,
into the darkness of the man's unopened palms,
it started realizing,
it was definitely a butterfly, not a moth!
and it's not like the butterfly
was always a butterfly
and just didn't know it,
it's more complicated than that.
before it went into its chrysalis,
it was just a caterpillar
who was going to be a moth.
it was always going to be a moth,
and it was even excited to be a moth!
in retrospect, there were tells
markings, habits, and such
but they were brushed aside.
"it's just a caterpillar doing caterpillar things," thought the man.
"not moth nor butterfly things!"
but, looking back on it,
the butterfly definitely thinks
they were butterfly things.
but that doesn't matter much,
as it's no good to dwell on the past.
the butterfly is too busy being scared
of what'll happen
when the man opens his hands.
it still wants to do all those things
the man said it could, but
it wants to do them like butterfly things.
the things wouldn't be any different
even though a butterfly was doing them, right?
would the man still let the butterfly
live the life it wanted?
even though it wasn't what the man wanted it to be?
would the butterfly
be able to do butterfly things?
and some moth things too?
the butterfly doesn't know.
it's scared.
"how's it going in there?" asks the man.
"great! just working hard to become a moth!" says the butterfly.
"great to hear! you'll make a great one!"
the man is proud of the moth
that would never exist.
the butterfly wilts in shame.
it tries to hope,
and it knows there are
other butterflies like it,
but it also knows
that the people that raise those butterflies
tend to scream and squish the not-moths
as soon as they open their hands.
and so, the butterfly is.
scared in the dark,
it's dreams only unfulfilled.
