deep care

Meditations on health, self-care, boundries, and developing loving kindness. Find me also at anisaer and earthsick

[chillpotato]

Sylvia Plath

[spivity]

what day in march sylvia,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,sylvia please,,,,,,,,,,,what day in march

[nat-20s]

"someone who allows you to rest" is the relationship dynamic of all time

[nat-20s]

A parent that welcomes you back home after things have fallen apart. A best friend whose voice alone who can make you relax. A spouse who convinces you to stay in bed an extra hour and leave the dishes for later. A stranger who sees you tired and gives up their seat on the train. Augh. The humanity of it

[senilebreadbag]

amazing.

[apostasy-is-ecstasy]

So many feminists on radblr right now are furious that women won't go on a sex strike to draw attention to the overturning of roe, and they act like it's because straight/bi women are slaves to dick. Please don't forget that many, many women engage in and even initiate sex in order to "ward off" rape or sexual assault by their partners. This is often a compulsive behavior that women refuse to acknowledge or analyze, it's a product of trauma and fear. By initiating sex or refusing to say no without ever asking whether or not they realistically want to have this sex, women are able to tell themselves that they are in control of when they can and cannot say yes. This doesn't even mean that all of these women are actively being abused-- a huge amount of women develop this pattern simply from picking up on the rape culture we live in, it can be developed after a single incident, whatever, and the behavior is continued with all/most male partners. The unconscious reasoning is that "you can't rape the willing"-- this is a huge part of why sexually abused women can become hypersexual. If you demand that women go on a sex strike, in their minds you are asking them to give up a tool they have developed to ensure that they are not raped, whether they realize it or not; I'm sure you can see why there would be vehement pushback.

I am absolutely not saying that we should stop demanding sex strikes, but I am saying that we need to be aware of the exact reasons of why there is so much pushback. This isn't "OSA women are weak", this is "OSA women are traumatized in a very specific way and have developed a behavior pattern that they believe keeps them safer, and you are asking them to leave that behind". Most women have done exactly zero work to understand their sexual trauma even when there is overt abuse, let alone the more subtle trauma of living in our patriarchal rape culture-- women are literally going to have a triggered response to this demand.

Just understand.

[mazraluvr]

this post started with ‘don’t forget’ and ended with ‘just understand’ and i still saw at least one person taking it the wrong way. have some empathy

[tejuina]

" I don’t think feminists talk enough about the politics of men cheating and how the patriarchal myth of romantic love ruins women’s lives." ty for saying this. I didn't realize how badly I needed to hear someone say this until this moment. I feel like I don't have a right to be as hurt, and especially as ANGRY, as I am about this. It is so intensely cruel to expect women to put up with this.

💜💜 tbh I don’t see it talked about much here but these are concepts and ideas I’ve gotten from other women (especially mexican lesbian feminists), and they’re very linked to the original concept of compulsory heterosexuality—not “comphet made me attracted to this male celebrity” but “the world is arranged in such a way that it’s hard for a woman to live independently from men, and heterosexual relationships have been imposed throughout history as the only way for women to gain material stability.” romantic love as taught to us by society is propaganda to keep women from seeing violent jealousy, cheating, rape, etc as tools men use to subjugate women and ensure our compliance.

the world loves to ignore that we live in a patriarchy and that a woman who’s cheated on feels not only the hurt of the betrayal but also the the hurt of knowing half of the population doesn’t see her as fully human and doesn’t see her pain as legitimate.

[fairycosmos]

crazy how much ppl do not care that you are literally losing your mind if you are a quiet woman who doesn’t inconvenience others much

[dykemind]

acquire it

[iambrillyant]

“healing is such a lonely and intimate process. it requires you being your own friend on some days, being your biggest cheerleader in certain moments and spending quality time with your wounds— but it is all so necessary.”

— iambrillyant

[asdfghjkllkjjhgfds-deactivated2]

choose people who choose you.

[butterflypeaflowertea]

good things

spreading butter over freshly toasted bread

that heart-pounding moment before a musician appears onstage at a concert

big fluffy skirts with super deep pockets

people snorting when they laugh

those big glossy red guitars

the orange mist that sprays when you bend an orange peel

laughing so hard your stomach aches

when ink flows really smoothly from a pen

girls screaming in songs

fuzzy ducklings waddling after their mother

when the lights dim at the movie theater

orchestras tuning

dried figs

[deepcare]

1,3,4,6,7,8,9,10,12,13

[pointlesscries]

[abitofdarkness]

one minute i care about everyone and wanting to make sure everyone is happy. and the next im like fuck you humans, i am not here to be responsible for your happiness go cry somewhere else.

[wetsnail]

Anyone else feels like they overshare everything with others and at the very same time haven’t opened up at all to anyone

[imawitchywitch]

You are not hard to love. You have been hurt and you are trying your best. If others want to go, let them go. Be kind to yourself. You will get through this. You are so strong.

[logicaldreamer]

“I’m too exhausted to explain my soul to someone again.”

— T. // ten word story #38

[altonzm-deactivated20170213]

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

[parentheticalaside]

American recipes: Use Pillsbury™ crescent rolls and Oscar Meyer™ sausages with your Dairy Maid Dairy™ cheese for a fun NFL Super Bowl LI™ treat!

[softheartedsuggestion]

don’t allow someone to treat you poorly just because you love them