category is extremely traditionally masculine men written to experience traumas, tropes, and writing decisions that are more typical of misogyny
i'm not sure if i can even articulate this properly but it's something about the parallels between the perfect soldier and the perfect woman ...
the unwarranted burden of sin and the perpetual blame
sacrificing your personal desires and autonomy for "the good of others" and in MANY cases that autonomy being stripped from them against their will
forced into a caretaker role from a young age because of the failures of adults but they'd tear themselves apart before ever admitting it was a burden because of The Love
and then being highly sexualized within the context of the writing both despite and sometimes BECAUSE of that trauma (this point maybe less apparent with caleb but there are certainly countless examples for the other two)
for caleb the parallels to eve and being perpetually punished for the crime of showing mc enlightenment is like . extremely direct lol
idk i hope this isn't misconstrued and it's not a fully elaborated theory by any means just noticing a #trend in my comfort characters
of course my interpretation of them could be completely different from everyone else's idk idk
in which the sun warms the earth as it gazes upon the moon
pairing: caleb x fem reader / calebmc ; zayne x fem reader / zaynemc
genre: angst, character analysis in narrative form
cw: love triangle if you squint, they love you/mc but its more about their own jealousy and insecurity, snowapple as character foils, mc/reader gets injured, allusions to obsessive, possessive, controlling tendencies (guys its caleb), open ending
Cats didn’t warm naturally to Zayne.
He didn’t blame them, of course. He wasn’t naturally warm.
His presence, calm and steady on most days, attracted their attention initially. A bit aloof in a way he supposed was relatable to them. In a room full of people, he was usually the one cats would wander towards first.
Always respectful, always gentle, he’d extend his hand to them first and let them sniff. Say hello in his steady, calming tone.
It wasn’t until he’d reach out to pet gently beneath their chin that they’d jump back, startled by the icy coldness that afflicted his skin. A jarring, abrasive contrast to his demeanor.
Rather than trying again, he’d always pull his hand back out of fear of bringing them even more discomfort. He’d swallow down the disappointment – the feeling of isolation – and try his best not to lament over the way it got easier every time.
Eventually he stopped reaching his hand out at all. Contented himself with giving them slow blinks across the room and tried to be satisfied when they blinked back.
It was an exchange he became accustomed to and one he grew to enjoy. And yet.
Something that felt like a twitch of his lower lip, a lump in his throat, a twinge in his chest, always seemed to afflict him when he watched Caleb play with cats.
The boyish, sunny grin on his face as he seemed to gravitate to all the right spots, the sound of his easy laughter when a cat would playfully claw at his hands, the loud purrs that accompanied cats choosing his lap as their favorite napping spot.
Zayne had his own way of doing things. He has learned to be alright with that. Learned that affection will always look different for him, that he will always need to preface his existence in a way that’s palatable. He knows that every facet of his life will be dedicated in some part to keeping the bitter sting of cold at bay so that he doesn’t hurt anyone else with it.
For some reason, though, it was always a bit more difficult to accept the cold when he was gazing upon the warmth and comfort of the sun.
Cats didn’t really like Caleb.
Not at first, anyways.
His first interactions with them were always too desperate. He always wanted them to approach him too badly.
His hands were always delicate, always precise, but grip was always just a bit too tight. The pressure of his fingertips was always just a bit too heavy and always had them squirming out of his hands. He’d get the urge to close the door to keep them inside and hurt his own feelings when they clawed at it and cried to leave anyways.
He never minded the sting of their warning bites or their claws digging into his skin, but something sharp and bitter burned within him whenever they tried to run away.
It took just a little too long to understand that all the care he had to give was simply too much, but Caleb had always been a quick learner. So he learned.
He loosened his grip manually. Researched all the best spots to pet beneath their chin or at the base of their tail. Tried out different tones and cadences until he found the one that made them relax.
He learned eventually that the sun was always too strong at full force. That he’d have to hide pieces of himself away to be accepted. These truths became easier to digest every time he’d coax a stray cat into eating the food he’d leave for them on the back porch or convinced them to stay curled up in his lap even with the gate open.
Still, for some reason the brightness that surrounded him felt just a little more like burning every time he’d watch a cat approach Zayne first.
He didn’t even seem to care, really, about the little creature who flounced right by Caleb to observe the older boy curiously. Merely blinked at its existence before returning to his book, ignoring its mews for pets and attention.
If he could be just a little calmer in his desire for the cat’s approval, just a little less desperate to be chosen, maybe it would approach him without any coaxing.
Even as the thought filtered through his mind, he couldn’t stop the minute twitch of his fingers or the way they reached out accompanied by his perfected cadence.
It was just a little bit more difficult to accept, on the days he had to watch the calm and cool and collected boy in his neighborhood, how impossible it was to stare directly at the sun.
Zayne is young and terrified and so, so cold when he stands outside her hospital room door. Frost coats the doorframe he is clinging onto with white knuckles.
His eyes, already too sharp for a face that is still so small, are fixated on the wires trailing from her limp body to the many machines surrounding her bed.
He supposed it was the power of the sun that had allowed Caleb to shove past him without sparing him even a glance, without feeling the bitter cold seeping uncontrollably from his pores.
He thinks he must be just as bitter as the sting coating his skin, must have some sort of monster curled up underneath his ribcage, to still be able to feel envy beneath the shame as he watches Caleb take her hands in his as he kneels next to her hospital bed.
The boy, young and cold and selfish in a way he will never verbalize, has never felt as isolated and untouchable as he does watching her instinctually shuffle a little closer at the sound of murmured comforting words, watching her curl towards his warmth even in her sleep.
Caleb is filled with a familiar burning and an unfamiliar, unbearable numbness as he stares from across the hospital’s courtyard.
The older man is a silent guardian, a steady pillar for her to lean against, calm and collected and just the right amount of aloof that he’s never been quite able to mimic.
He is surprised neither of them feel the heat of his gaze as their heads bend together over the document in the doctor’s hands. No matter how eclipsed he’s become, the sun still burns and shines and begs for commands attention.
It’s so natural, so easy for her to ask the doctor for help. The admiration in her eyes as he speaks is not shrouded by apprehension or grief or complication. She looks at him directly without wincing. Never has to close her eyes against his calm, straightforward way of guiding her through their plan.
He should be focused on it too. It’s why he came, or at least how he justified following her to the hospital that day. Still, despite the mission and despite the chip trying its best to cool down the burning he has never been quite able to stomp out, all he can focus on is how freely she presses herself into the doctor’s space. All he can think about is closing the door and perfecting his cadence until she stops clawing to get out.
He thinks bitterly, selfishly, full of burning, about how comforting the cold must be in shielding her from the strength of the sun bearing down on her.
He wants, as he has always wanted, for her to come to him first without flinching against the tightness of his grip. Wants to be able guide her forward while trusting that she will follow behind him.
He knows, as he has always known, that the fear of her straying will always make him look back.
Caleb is well acquainted with the monster curled up underneath his ribcage, has long since accepted its never-ending hunger for connection, but the way it claws against him is painful as he wonders, not for the first time, how it must feel to be able to stand so close to her and not need to reach out for more.
Cute idea I had, not a drawing request but something I just wanted to share
What if the lads guys(either one of them or all) have blobbus MC like a little pet and MC has the blobbus guys. They spoil MC blobbus and the blobbus guys are like protective dogs with MC. Or it could be vise versa with MC owning blobbus MC.
using the chat between you and the lads men as a to-do list
xavier is perplexed to say the least. why are you sending “eggs, tissue roll, milk” in your chat box? won’t bother asking, he’s sending his own list too, “bacon, wipes, cereal.” looks like he’s joining you for the quick grocery run.
rafayel finds it endearing that you’d think of him in the most mundane tasks, because even with just the list “buy bread, feed the birds at the beach, get mail,” he knows it’s your own way of telling him to accompany you. and he’s already on his way. after teasing you of course.
zayne gets off a grueling surgery and the first thing he sees in your chat is “bills to pay: internet, water, data subscription.” his face falls in resignation then replies with, “someone made me into a sticky note.” you only reply with a laughing sticker followed by an updated list, “bills to pay: internet ✅, water, data subscription.” before you can even proceed with the other payments, you received notifications that everything else has been settled.
caleb’s face immediately lights up. yeah you only replied to him after your three-hour nap, and the message was just “make quick dinner, read latest reports, movie” but he doesn’t care, he’s already replying to you that he’s taking care of it. except for the second part, of course, but he’s scanning through it too so you could rely on him when you’re sick of reading.
sylus is insufferable. you were just sending “pay rent, message landlord of the faucet leaks, get new shoes,” and he’s already threatening to buy the entire building. and the mall. and the plumbing company. it took you an hour of convincing him to not even push through with his threats, to no avail. you had to resort to accusing him of money laundering (doesn’t work). he only raised his arms in defeat when you told him you won’t kiss him anymore.
shoutout to my bestfriend for telling me “made me into a sticky note” when i sent him my bills to pay. u inspired me to do this silly thing LOL