Madame Tussauds Unveils Cultural Relic That Will Be Incomprehensible To Future Generations
Madame Tussauds has unveiled a new wax statue of model and reality TV personality Kendall Jenner, a curious cultural relic that will one day be far beyond the logical comprehension of future generations.
This week, the Keeping Up With The Kardashians star Kendall Jenner flew to England for the debut of her wax likeness at the flagship Madame Tussauds in London—a confluence of events that anthropologists centuries from now to will struggle to comprehend. The 20-year-old model was reportedly “freaked out” at first by the uncanny resemblance, in much the same way humans in the year 2675 will likely be “freaked out” by the society that produced such bizarre artifacts of ephemeral figures for some inscrutable purpose.
“I didn’t want to touch it. I was like weirded out at first,” said Jenner, whom scholars will one day study in a futile effort to understand why such a person was ever idolized by an earlier, more primitive world, and why that idolatry then took the form of life-size wax recreations.
After her initial uneasiness wore off, Jenner said that being added to Madame Tussauds famous gallery of wax figures was an honor. And if records of these statements somehow survive, it will only further compound the burden of historians struggling to grasp why recreating someone’s image in the fragile form of a wax statue should be seen as an “honor.” The idea that other ancient humans would then exchange currency for the chance to gaze upon such statues will only further fuel their fiery academic debate.
“Perhaps these early humans thought wax was imbued with some sort of magical property,” a future historian might ponder to his colleagues. “Maybe they thought that by recreating this young woman—this high priestess or some such—they could clone her somehow. Or perhaps render her immortal.”
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