Deer daughter ☾₊ ⊹ @deer-daughterx - Tumblr Blog

End of life caregivers parallel beginning of life caregivers - we all walk each other home

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

//The Perks of Being a Wallflower

“I think it’s all beautiful that we pray for each other, even though we know it won’t make a difference anyway.”

Oh my love. My Villanelle.

When I finally start to weep, I cannot stop.

//Killing Eve ~ Die for Me//

And when I am buried six feet under the maggots will eat at my heart through the pinewood and taste all the love I had for my sisters <3

It’s a little scary to think of all the woman who would rather be cremated - destroying themselves entirely to protect the remnants of their bones and hearts against the touches of others.

There’s a finality to cremation that simply burying a rotting corpse is not absolute too.

Next time you weep, let it be in joy.

- and let me be the reason.

She took her Eucharist before me and I quietly apologized to Jesus for the downgrade of her tongue to mine.

#literature #writing #fragment #spilled poetry

I love with urgency - for I cannot wait any longer. If this were my last moment I would speak it in the same breaths I say I adore you.

“I swallowed the mallow; consumed by love. And the mulberry to follow it up. It grows in the garden of my childhood home. Weeping and alone, it means “I will not survive you” when given to a love. Isn’t that the most painful beautiful meaning out of the above?

—

But your arms welcomed me like wisterias. And rain flowers grew in the whites of your eyes; dizzying stars as you claimed to love me - likewise

Spider silk: a collection of sapphic poetry // Danah Slade //

She was going to die within the week. I mean aren’t we all going to die? But it’s strange that the image I have of myself as a child with her has somewhat been amalgamated. If she had aged does this not mean I am aging as well? For this woman who I’ve felt no profound affinity towards.

Should I be annoyed at the inconvenience of going to the white stained buildings when there was little I could provide in assistance? Your pain will end soon - I try to console but there is little I can offer. What do you say to someone when they’re going to die?

There’s this anticipatory grief which hangs low in our throat and fills our stomach with rocks. It’s not quite apologetic, sometimes pitying and a little disappointing. In the dying stage there’s all this anticipation in freeing ourselves, afraid to linger in this greater sense of grief and death and what it all means- we grieve more with the dying than the dead and are forced to confront ourselves with the idea of it.

When the sheets are pulled back over her head and consolations are offered the grief will disperse - they’ll learn not much has changed that when we turn off the news we’re not confronted with the carcass of bodies littering the media, and that we no longer have to worry about death until it arrives for us.

Then we’ll simply all go back to our lives like little sheep and we won’t stir much - try not to because there is little we can do, and only bleat when it’s our turn for the stunning and bludgeoning.

#goodbyegrandma

It wasn’t Christmas, or my birthday or even new year, it was just a Thursday. There would be another Thursday after that I was certain; but it did not bring any lithe joy to consider. You and I might die on a Thursday, or a Friday perhaps. Maybe a Tuesday. Was I born on a Tuesday? They’re simply days that will come and go as hastily as the last.

“How did I do?”

“You know, I think you did all right.”

“Was I the best?”

“No but you certainly tried to be, and you did as well as anyone else could have done. You tried to be the best and that’s all that matters.”

They never liked an awful lot of things, they never really liked much of anything at all.

Maybe we’ll all die when we’re twenty-seven.

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