Do you remember These Posts? This was back when I first learned about how I became a target by an LOC member Sachies, who ended up scamming me, several of my friends, and had not only been making fun of me to the rest of LOC the entire time we were āfriends,ā but she and other LOC members had been keeping tabs on me MONTHS before she first reached out to me to be her āfriendā in the first place. Fucked up right? Can you even begin to imagine the hurt and disgust and betrayal I felt from something like that? As if it doesnāt get any worse, Sachies friend and fellow LOC member @Sallamb decided to start a smear campaign against me and my friend Fawnie because she thought it was one of us that outed her as a 4chan posting degenerate terf to the mods of the Oldschool lolita discord server and got her banned. So she retaliated and started a smear campaign in late Feb. And so, here we are.
Shouldnāt it be telling enough that when I spoke to Verity, the person I was directly accused of making āageistā comments towardsā not only did she agree that it was out of context and that this is clearly a targeted attack, but she is upset at the mods themselves for how they accepted something like that as actual evidence and is very upset at how the mods handled the situation.
Everyone who Iāve spoken to has been very receptive and disgusted with how everything has unfolded. I know there were people who went out of their way to message the mods on my behalf. Yet the 2 people who have the power to clear my name wonāt even allow me to speak for myself. I tried for months to get in contact with the admin of the server, only to be left on read. Crazy how an actual known bigots words holds more weight over my own.
I know my friend Fawnie has her own accusations, which are more serious than my own. And because Iām close friends with her, there is guilt by associationā everything she did I must have done too. Which isnāt the fucking case at all. I had told her not to continue to talking to Sal, I knew she was angry at what they did to us but playing double agent to get more information on Sachies and LOC was still stupid. Fawnie can share her own side if she wants, Iām not going to defend her actions.
This has been one of the worst emotional and psychological experiences Iāve gone through in my adult life. It would be a lie to say that Iām okay, that my views and love for Lolita hasnāt changed in some way. A big part of Lolita is the community, and to separate that from the clothes is easier said than done. Friday, May 30th I haven an appointment to discuss therapy options. For months Iāve been grieving, hurting and struggling with suicidal thoughts. And I would really like to stop being in so much pain, and be able to move in with my life and find comfort and love in Lolita again.
If anyone in the server sees this, I am more than willing to share the full story and proof, so please reach out. For those who are not, Iām sorry for wiping my blog and worrying you all. But Iām not comfortable posting under this handle anymore. Iām most concerned about LOC still keeping tabs on me than anything else, so I will be remaking. For the people in the server who may still be apprehensive of me, you may ask for it so you can block it.
Maybe Sal and LOC got what they want with this campaign by leaving a stain on my name and removed from the server I was on but Iām not going to leave the internet and lolita forever because that is exactly what theyād want. And at the end of the day I still have way more people who believe and support me than those who donāt. But I still deserve the right to advocate for myself, if the mods donāt want to give me the time or resolve this then I guess Iāll go public.
Thatās it really. I think this post is long enough, thank you for reading it if you did. Im so exhausted and sick from this all. I would just like to be able enjoy and feel safe in one of the few hobbies I have
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