DeliciouslyDenied @deliciouslydenied - Tumblr Blog

I’LL SEE YOU SOON

I don't know how I got to this point. I don't know why I am even here. I don't know where I'm going, but it terrifies the shit out of me. So I fight. I fight with everything I have inside of me and I feel like it's not doing any good. I feel like I'm not done yet. It feels like I have so much more to do. So I fight! And I fight! And I'm not winning. And the frustration kills me. The worthless kicks to the demon destroying my body and my mind are only hurting me more. And it fucking hurts! My GOD, it fucking hurts.

I'm suffering. I'm in constant pain and it only gets worse. This is not just a cold. This is hell. And I'm getting ready to give up. I'm ready to leave this world knowing in my heart that I could've done more. I could've been better. I could've helped people. I could've done SOMETHING! But instead, I selfishly lived my life as if it was never going to end. I always knew there would be a 'tomorrow'. Well, my last tomorrow is coming near, and I put too much off to feel fulfilled. Relationships I could've tried to heal. People I could've helped. Things I could've done to make this world a better place to live. To help people see that there is beauty all around them if they just open their eyes and notice for one single second. That there is LOVE all over the world if they just open their hearts to it. But instead, I lie here, empty and alone. And I don't do a fucking thing because it hurts too much. But I've bitched long enough. I've fought with everything I had. I've given myself every shot I could possibly take. And I think it's time for me to relax. To let go and just medicate myself until my time comes. I was told there would be no pain. I'd go in my sleep. I'd find peace wherever I'm going after this life. No more pain. No more suffering. And I can't help but feel pain because I'll be leaving all the people out there that suffer from so many different things. And I'll be gone. I'm no Atlas. I know that. But I can help. But no. Instead I lay here. Helpless.

I look to my side and I see my angel. He hasn't left my side for a single moment. And he still smiles when he sees my face. My hair is gone. My skin is grey. My eyes are cloudy. I fucking smell bad. And he leans over and kisses me softly on my lips and smiles at me every day. And it warms my cold body when I see him in his warm aura and for a second or two, I feel no pain. It makes me cry. I cry as I write this right now. Because this man has given me a life that I only dreamed of having. He made me happy every single day. He saved me from a hell I was living in before him. And most of all, he gave me his heart and his soul. He gave me his everything. And I gave him my everything. He is my soulmate and I'm leaving him behind. I'm leaving him alone and it breaks my heart knowing that we only have a short time together. So I hide my pain from him because I know that he feels it along with me. We are one. I haven't been able to speak to him to tell him how much I love him and how much he means to me. The last thing I told him was, “I really need water.” Why couldn't I say anything after that? Just one more “I love you.” Could've made a huge difference. It hurts like hell when I hug him but it feels so good to do it so I do it. He is my heart and my soul and I'm gonna have to go on without him. He is losing me and he's going to be alone. And I want to take him by the hand and show him that even when I leave, there will still be beauty out there in the world for him to enjoy. And to look at things and to know that I sent him a little joy every single day. I want to tell him not to close his eyes and to be best he can be for the world. But I can't speak the words.

This is my end. This is goodbye. I've lived a wonderful life. I've had my fantasies come true. I've been a princess. I've done the rags to riches. I've seen beauty and wonder, and I've seen pain and misery. I've helped a few, and I've been the best person that I could actually be. I've given and I've taken. I've loved and been loved. I've fucked up and I've made amends. I've laughed and I've cried. I've learned to love the world and all the people in it and I hope that others will be able to find that in their lives too because there's nothing like it.

I'm moving on to bigger and better things. I'll see you all again sometime. I'll see you all again. And we will party like never before. We will have a blast. And we will all laugh and it will last as long as we want it to. There is no sadness where I'm going. There is no pain. There is no misery. There is no hate. Where I'm going, wherever that may be, I will sit and wait patiently for the love of my life to finish his purpose here on earth. And when that time comes, I will be ready to see eternity with him. My life started with my hand in his. And I will start my eternity the same way.

I wish all of you the absolute best that life can offer. I wish for you to find your dreams and live them, no matter how fucked up those dreams are. Don't let anyone tell you that you are sick or wrong in wanting the things you want because you only have one life to live and you better not waste it on doing shit people say you should be doing. You are who you are. And you should love yourself exactly the way you are. Don't let others judge you for doing what you enjoy. Because when you end up living a life that you crave and love, then you will feel fulfilled. You will feel happy and you will never even care what others say about you because you're so happy. Don't deny who you are. Be who you are. And don't judge others based on what you think they should be either. Let people be who they want to be. Let them live their lives as long as they don't disturb yours, there's no harm in it. When you can do this, you will find a peace in yourself that you can't deny. And it's better than any drug you can take. It's true bliss. And it's addicting. The smiles will never leave your face and the joy will never leave your heart.

I'm leaving you all behind my dearest friends. This cancer is taking over my body. But my spirit will remain. I'm not really going away forever. I will live on in each person I've touched in one way or another. Yes, it sounds arrogant. And I don't care. But that's why we never really die. We all become who we are, as people, because of all the people that have touched us in our lives. We are all products of those that influenced us in one way or another. We try to take the best parts of those people, and because of that, we are all beautiful and we are all good.

People, all I ask is that you be the best YOU that you can be and others will follow. Leave an imprint and you will live forever. I love you all just the way you are. Don't ever forget that.

I'll see you soon.

It's been awhile since you updated your year of denial. When are you going to update it?

I know. It's been a while. Sorry. But I can't continue due to a severe health issue that's leaving me too sick to finish my task.

When I see a pro misogynistic post. Another sad boy claiming what they can't deliver.

no-longer-another-bondi-blonde

obedience-is-the-law

Fact

Year Of Sexual Selflessness 6

Report on Week 10 of Denial:

Days since my last orgasm: 70

Number of edges this week: 140 (38 humping the pillow, 52 using my hands/fingers, 14 using various vibrators, and 36 using various dildos)

Number of edges so far this year: 907 (356 humping the pillow, 271 using my hands/fingers, 77 using various vibrators, and 203 using various dildos)

Number of orgasms for Master this week: 32 (25 blowjobs, 0 pussy, and 6 anal)

Number of orgasms for Master so far this year: 276 (156 blowjobs, 11 pussy, and 109 anal)

Number of days remaining of my year of denial: 296

Level of desperation 1-100: 90.3 If I could sum it all up, I would say that it's a roller coaster ride. One day, I'm dying, the next day, I'm fine. It's not like it's hard or anything. I think it's more like the edges, sometimes (only sometimes), are a chore. It's like, I don't know. Too much, maybe? Each day, Master gives me a random number and that's how many times I'll have to edge that day. So some days, it's amazingly nice to be edged constantly. Sometimes, it's like, damn, I have to do 27 edges today and most of those on the pillow (speaking of pillows, I'm on my third pillow now, 2 are ruined). I don't crave it and when it comes to having to do them, I find myself dreading the act. Kind of like a kid who was told to take out the trash. I do them anyway, and once I start, I actually enjoy it, but getting started seems like a chore sometimes. Of course, Aunt Flo will be coming soon and I'm just not feeling shit, so I'm sure it'll pass. I'm not very sexual during this time. But, I powered through this week and managed to make out with 140 edges. It's not even a third of the way through this year and I'm nearing 1000 edges already.

Call me a math nerd, but if things go according to my guess, I'll be doing over 4.700 edges by the end of the year and that's if I average only 14 edges a day (including my weeks of no-touch). Master will get over 1,400 orgasms by the end of the year, to my big fat zero.

It's not as bad as I make it sound. I want His cock 24/7. I'm offering myself way more than usual. Sometimes I feel like I annoy him with my desperate horny self. It's like he's gotten to the point where he completely ignores me when I touch him or brush up against him. He's completely satisfied though, so it's understandable. I guess I'm starting to feel like I'm not doing enough and I blame it on my own denial. I don't know. It's so confusing in my head, not even I understand it. Well, I did this to myself. This was my idea and my goal and I'm doing this to prove to myself that I have control over my own body. That I rule over my pussy and my brain. And I WILL succeed.

Thank you everyone for all the likes and reblogs, I really appreciate all of you who are following my progress in my denial and the degress in my dignity.

Love you all,

sara

angelically-offered

shaggingshemales

submissivegames-deactivated2018

KiK: subgames

Year Of Sexual Selflessness 5

Report on Week 9 of Denial:

Days since my last orgasm: 63

Number of edges this week: 137 (45 Humping the pillow, 40 using my hand/fingers, 11 using various vibrators, and 41 using various dildos)

Number of edges so far this year: 767 (318 humping the pillow, 219 using my hand/fingers, 63 using various vibrators, 167 using various dildos)

Number of orgasms for Master this week: 29 (15 blowjobs, 0 pussy, and 14 anal)

Number of orgasms for Master so far this year: 244 (130 blowjobs, 11 pussy, 103 anal)

Number of days remaining of my year of denial: 303

Level of desperation 1-100: 85.5 I am beginning to think that being denied is normal now. I really am enjoying the constant desire I carry with me 24/7. I enjoy where my mind goes with every thought throughout my day. The edges have become a sort of routine. Kind of like exercise. For some reason, it's gotten to the point where I'm edging to feel good and normal. It's like I feel normal when I'm horny and if that feeling inside me starts to fade, that tickle in my pussy starts to numb down, it's as if I crave it. Now, when I edge, I don't feel this super overwhelming urge to finish myself like I had been. I edge to be on the edge and to keep that tickle just the way I like it. Thinking and concentrating is getting better and easier also.

Now I can't say that I don't go crazy some days and I feel that overwhelming urge to cum and finish myself. But most days, I only crave the edge. It's a place I hadn't been to in a really long time and I really missed it. Master is enjoying it for sure. I'm constantly ready for him and wanting him. I am sexual in everything I do, especially being naked all day at home. He just has to say the words and I come to him hungry and desperate for his pleasure. He loves my constant hunger and to be honest, I've been really spoiled lately. It's as if this denial period has sparked some romance and fun in our relationship. I'm suddenly getting flowers more often than I used to get. In reality, He hardly ever used to buy me flowers. But now, I get some all the time. I'm being taken out more on dates and treated like a queen when we go out. He's such an amazing gentleman when he really wants to. And as soon as we get in the house, it's back to the wonderful, powerful, demanding Master that I love so dearly and that brings butterflies to my belly with his simple firm voice as he commands me to do things. Sometimes I feel like his firm voice, alone, can cause an edge in me because it instantly makes it tingle. I'm beginning to feel like we are simply closer when I deny myself. I feel like more of him is in my heart and soul when I sacrifice my own selfish pleasure for his. I love this and I love him. Maybe the hard part is over and my desperation will level out and it won't need to be such a struggle anymore. I can only hope.

Love you all,

sara

doppelwertig

deliciouslydenied

Omg! I love this!!

Year Of Sexual Selflessness 4

Report on Week 8 of Denial:

Days since my last orgasm: 56

Number of edges this week: 0 Another week of no touching. If I'm correct, Master wants me to refrain from touching myself for at least a week after he uses my pussy for a full day.

Number of edges so far this year: 630 (273 humping the pillow, 179 using my hands/fingers, 52 using various vibrators, and 126 using various dildos)

Number of orgasms for Master this week: 25 (11 blowjobs, 0 pussy, and 14 anal) First week so far where he actually used anal more than my mouth. His goal was to use my ass to cum every single day.

Number of orgasms for Master so far this year: 215 (115 blowjobs, 11 pussy, and 89 anal)

Number of days remaining of my year of denial: 310

Level of desperation 1-100: 80.0 A week of no-touch always does the trick when it comes to getting my head a bit more straight. It's not easy to completely ignore my sexual desire. The part of my body that needs (or craves) the most attention is completely off limits. When I use the bathroom, I tend to take a bit longer wiping, maybe even give it an extra wipe or two just to give the poor girl a little attention and to make sure she's still there. When I wash it in the shower I tend to wash a little extra down there, almost making it an edge but stopping well before it even comes close out of guilt for giving it that tiny bit of affection. When I shave myself would have to be the hardest time, mostly because it's slippery. Not only from the shaving cream, but from my own excitement and the smallest touch makes it twitch ever so subtly, not to mention the rubbing of the blade on every inch of my forbidden area.

This is a very busy time for Master and his work. I try very hard to be patient and not bug him with my own desires. His work is important. My pussy screams for him constantly, but he simply doesn't have all the time he'd like for me. This will last at least another month before he starts to slow down. So I become his relief. I become his pleasure after a long day of stress. He always makes time for me/us and I am grateful (like I am every year during tax season) for every second he spends with me. And I serve him with the deepest parts of my soul when he allows it. As busy as he is, he always takes at least a day or two to dedicate to us and to me. It's not all play all the time. He works hard all day and I'm talking at least 12 hours a day. Poor thing is exhausted and the last thing I want to do is force him to give me attention. Being my Dom/Master takes work on his part and I don't want to be his burden during the times when he should be resting and relaxing. So instead of making him do anything, I take it upon myself to do all the work and to allow my hard working husband to rest while I please him in any way he wants or likes. To some, it might seem boring, but to me, it's everything. And he appreciates all I do for him during these busy months. He finds time for us to play and have sessions (sometimes a full day) and it's hard for me accept this because I feel selfish when he gives me his time off. It's his time to rest, yet, he spends it working on giving me attention and giving me his time. I don't know how the hell he does it. I don't deserve this man. I don't deserve everything he does for me and everything he gives me. I don't deserve such a wonderful Master. Yet, he takes me and he smiles at me and he gives me his all as if there's nothing else going on in his life. I feel selfish. I feel like I'm asking too much of him even though I'm not asking for anything. He actually knows me too well and I don't even have to ask him, he just knows what I need and want from him and he gives it to me. I am extremely lucky to have him. He is my heart and my soul. He is my world. He is my God. I love him.

Thank you all

sara

marriedmillennials-deactivated2

😇😇😇

deinherr

Sei wie Sarah

deliciouslydenied

Haha!

justleavemealone234-deactivated

Do I make a good Hermione? ^.^

deliciouslydenied

Way hotter than Hermione. Wow.

gabyok23

Footslave to her roommates, part 2

deliciouslydenied

Dreams

Year of Sexual Selflessness 4

Report on Week 7 of Denial:

Days since my last orgasm: 49

Number of edges this week: 102 (29 humping the pillow, 34 with my hand, 10 using a vibrator, and 29 using various dildos)

Number of edges so far this year: 630 (273 humping the pillow, 179 using my hand/fingers, 52 using vibrators, and 126 using various dildos)

Number of orgasms for Master this week: 29 (13 blowjobs, 8 in my pussy, and 8 anal) Master has decided to cum in my pussy on the 18th of every month. It'll be the only day he uses my pussy this year. My birthday falls on the 18th of May and it's 2018, so he feels like it would be a perfect plan. So all 8 times in my pussy were on February 18th.

Number of orgasms for Master this year: 190 (104 blowjobs, 11 pussy, and 75 anal)

Number of days remaining of my year of denial: 317

Level of desperation 1-100: 88.5 It's always really effective to me having to keep track of every edge I complete and every orgasm Master gets. The numbers are astounding. Without it, I'd have no idea exactly how much sex we actually have. It's ridiculous when you see it on paper. I mean, It's only the middle of February, what, seven weeks into it, and I've edged 630 times? That sounds insane for 7 weeks, but if I didn't keep track, I'd never guess that many. And to top it all off, Master has cum 190 times in these 7 weeks? That's a lot. Like an insane amount when I see it on paper. But these aren't things normal people keep track of. The funny thing is, that there's people out there that do it way more than we do. How crazy is that?

The edges were much slower this week mostly because he gave me 3 days of no touch before the day he only used my pussy to cum in. I seem to be getting a lot better now handling myself. Yeah, I'm horny constantly. Yeah, I have light and heavy edging days and the heavy days are bit more insane and my level raises quite a bit. But the slower days are mellow and a nice chance for me to think straight. I love the way this feels and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I have a hell of a long ways to go before I get my prize. It's amazing when he's ready for me to fuck him with my ass and he rubs my pussy a few times to lube it up before penetration and these days, I'm constantly ready and willing.

Just the other day, I had to go to the store and I edged in the car before I went inside and walking and feeling the cool breeze hit my wet spot send a chill up my spine making me so freaking horny. But there was a moment when I was stopped and looking at the pastas and I put my legs together and I actually heard a splat, lmfao! And it reminded me of my state as I felt the slime between my upper thighs as they rubbed together as I walked around. Suddenly, I felt exposed and I felt as if everyone knew what a horny denied slut I was and those thoughts heightened my senses. Suddenly I was aware of every detail around me. Some people call it being in defense mode where you're expecting something bad to happen, and you're suddenly more alert. So I made sure to rub my thighs when I walked around so I would feel that slime with every step. And every person that looked at me made me think that they just knew what was going on down there and I'd blush. It was such an amazing feeling that I ended up edging again when I got back in the car and again when I got home. Such a drippy mess I've been lately. But my head is more clear than it has been in the past. I just hope it lasts.

Thanks for all your support and your comments, they are very much appreciated. I love you all.

sara

darkd3fender

How often do you drink piss? Do you drink piss on a constant basis? What was the biggest quantity you had swallowed and during which period?

https://deliciouslydenied.tumblr.com/post/151395790038/urine-a-fix

Here is the most piss I’ve ever had. This was a three day period. I didn’t really measure a piss drinking amount. It’s kind of hard to do when it’s straight from the source. So it’s hard to give a good answer.

Year of Sexual Selflessness 3

Report on Week 6 of denial:

Days since my last orgasm: 42

Number of edges this Week: 164 (49 by Pillow, 52 by Hand, 15 by Vibrator, 48 by various Dildos)

Number of edges so far this year: 528 (244 by Pillow, 145 by Hand, 42 by Vibrator, 97 by Dildo)

Number of orgasms for Master this week: 39 (21 Blowjobs, 0 Pussy, 18 Ass)

Number of orgasms for Master this year: 161 (91 Blowjobs, 3 Vaginal, 67 Anal)

Number of days remaining for my year of denial: 324

Level of desperation 1-100: 85.9 I am in a constant state of arousal. Nearly breaking my weekly record of 165 edges in a single week has left me a constant drippy mess of a whore. My mind is literally in the gutter almost 24/7. I am craving some of the most extreme treatments and poor Master has to constantly turn them down and dismiss them because they are simply too extreme to even try. Writing this out helps me realize just how stupid I can become when I'm at my most horny. I'm having a harder time understanding my goal of going an entire year. That's 365 days without a single full orgasm and I've only gone 42? Like seriously? I'm already this fucking horny and it's only been 42 days? I'm actually getting worried that I'm going to eventually get on Master's nerves enough until he eventually breaks and just gives me an orgasm just to have some peace. Maybe I'm not as bad as I think I am. But that's how it feels inside my crazy head. Every day I still follow my normal routine. I'm constantly reminded of my denial because I'm naked at least 90% of my days. I only dress to go shopping and when we have company which we haven't had much lately. But I'm walking around feeling fine, forgetting about my state and a simple breeze between my legs reminds me that I'm naked and available for fucking. I'm fully exposed and being naked always makes me feel sexy especially when Master is home and he's fully dressed. I become a complete sexual object, always ready, always wet, and always easy to get to without clothing. And that alone arouses me enough to remind me that I still have 324 fucking days to go. I doubt myself more and more every single day whether or not I will be able to endure this. I mean, I've gone 400 days before, but it wasn't with this much fucking edging and it's messing with my mind. I don't beg for it only because I already know he's not going to give me permission. He might say something like, “Only if you want to fail this challenge.” Or “And give up so soon?” I am terrified of giving up and disappointing him. I am terrified of failing at this goal that I set up for myself. And that pisses me off even more sometimes. Like, really? How stupid did I have to be to think that I could go a whole year without a single orgasm? Ugh. My head is all over the damn place. I'm doing this to myself. When I'm most horny, I'm begging Master to “Please, let me make you cum, PLEASE!” Instead of asking for my own. I cried a few times after a session of edging, but I think they are selfish tears and this challenge is even titled: “Year of Sexual Selflessness” I'm determined to make it through. I'm gonna do it. It's gonna be hard, but I'll do it. If anything, to prove to myself that I can do it. To conquer my desires and my body and mind and to show that I can fight myself and give myself and all my pleasure to someone who will appreciate it more than I will. It's a hell of a hard road ahead of me and I'm waiting to get to that point where I just stop thinking about it and all this edging and horniness just becomes a normal feeling instead of pure desperation. I'm frustrated my friends, but I'm managing.

sara

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