Delilah Theodora Writes

[delilahtheodora]

We die here today, in this bed we used to love in. It’s a sudden death, the ones you never expect and we don’t get to say goodbye. You’re too far from me and you’re too cold for me to touch. I’m too past coming back and there’s no saving ashes. So here lies what we were when our love lived and burned. Here lies the not what could have been but what should have been. The cause of death was lack of fighting.

- Delilah Theodora

[delilahtheodora]

“Her eyes full of sympathy and unintentional judgment, she looks at me and says “love is meant to make you happy.” As if a light in my mind will suddenly be lit and my emotions towards him will simply disappear or at least reconsider..she waits for my answer. “Love is an emotion on it’s own, separate from happiness. It has no obligation to make you feel anything than what it is. Love. And I love him. I can’t stop, even if it makes me unhappy . Love is only meant to be love. Some find happiness within it, others simply sorrow. That’s not to say it’s anything less than what it is.”

— Delilah Theodora

[delilahtheodora]

Love makes me sick.

Makes it harder for me to live,

to die,

to eat.

Love makes me think I need it.

I need them to love me,

like me?

I hate love.

I love love.

[delilahtheodora]

Almost hated you more than I love you today.

I almost hated you more than I love you today. Honestly, I walked out that door and it actually felt...freeing? I walked about two steps before the love started to drip back in my heart but..those two steps...well, they didn’t hurt as much as I thought they would. I felt ready you know? Like the feeling you get when the traffic light turns yellow before green. When I thought of you, there was only pain and less loving. I almost let you go today and I’m proud of myself. I mean yes, I came back but...almost.

[delilahtheodora]

And tell him that I loved him;

that he was my ocean and I

drowned in him.

Tell him that I still feel it.

How loving him chocked me and

letting him go never released

loves grip on me.

I still feel it on my neck,

losing air but I still have breath.

Just tell him when I thought I had no

stength...

I remembered loving him takes courage.

And although i’ve had no choice in it,

I lost air but I still had breath.

Tell him I love these scars,

but he didn’t have to leave so many.

Let him know I was made from these scars

Loving him taught me courage.

Delilah Theodora

[delilahtheodora]

“Her eyes full of sympathy and unintentional judgment, she looks at me and says “love is meant to make you happy.” As if a light in my mind will suddenly be lit and my emotions towards him will simply disappear or at least reconsider..she waits for my answer. “Love is an emotion on it’s own, separate from happiness. It has no obligation to make you feel anything than what it is. Love. And I love him. I can’t stop, even if it makes me unhappy . Love is only meant to be love. Some find happiness within it, others simply sorrow. That’s not to say it’s anything less than what it is.”

— Delilah Theodora

[delilahtheodora]

Nothing lasts forever.” he says whilst his eyes refuse to meet hers, his tears hiding behind the rain. “I will love you till my last breath” she says, “that’s the only forever that I know.

[delilahtheodora]

My darling, I will never love anyone else the way that I have so effortlessly loved you… with the strength to hope for happiness but with the weakness to settle for sadness too. I will never again feel a love that is so intense That it’s felt with my bones flesh and soul but darling, it’s never felt with common sense.

Delilah Theodora

[purplebuddhaquotes]

I didn’t realize until those few days how much a hug meant. To have someone hold you could be the greatest medicine of all.

Melina Marchetta (via purplebuddhaquotes)

Once this old lady hugged me and I felt peace for the first time in a long time.

[delilahtheodora]

We die here today, in this bed we used to love in. It’s a sudden death, the ones you never expect and we don’t get to say goodbye. You’re too far from me and you’re too cold for me to touch. I’m too past coming back and there’s no saving ashes. So here lies what we were when our love lived and burned. Here lies the not what could have been but what should have been. The cause of death was lack of fighting.

- Delilah Theodora

[delilahtheodora]

And I thought you’d pull me into you, wipe my tears and remind me why I took a risk on you.

- 02:34 But you lay there with your back to me. You’ve been doing that a lot lately.

(Delilah Theordora Cries)

[delilahtheodora]

I’m leaving; and there’s no sunset in this grey sky or a dusty old car you can watch leave the driveway and disappear into the distance, but I’m leaving. It’s not going to be like the goodbye scenes we see on TV, this is reality…it’s going to hurt more. Maybe not today, but later…when you see me after a few years or maybe even one. You might drop something, your phone…I don’t know; you might pick it up and as you look up you might see my face; but you’ll see me. I’ll probably be smiling…I used to smile a lot before I met you…I hope I’m smiling, and then you’ll think of all the times you made me cry; my happiness will hurt you. You’ll regret what you did to me as you are reminded of the only person that loved and stuck by you everytime

Delilah Theodora - I’m leaving you. (via delilahtheodora)

[delilahtheodora]

I have been in arms that have crushed me, my spine has been broken from the people I have carried. I have seen eyes that have blinded me, I am still not over the pain that I have buried. I have climbed moutains, only to be pushed to the ground. I have raised my hopes only to be let down. Darling I have given only to lose. So many goodbyes I didn’t choose. So tell me honestly...is it safe to love you?

- Delilah - Is love ever safe?

[delilahtheodora]

I can’t help but feel her pain as she stands there and watches him with me, the same way I stood there and watched him with her. I want to tell her that he was mine first and that she has no right to be heart broken; but I know how easy it is to love him and how hard it is to lose him. I know her heart is in her throat right now, I know she’s trying not to cry. But at least she has a peice of him that looks back at her through her daughters eyes.

-Delilah Theodora ( A true story)

[delilahtheodora]

Maybe if she didn’t love him, this world wouldn’t be as bittersweet. She wouldn’t be staring at the beauty of the clear blue sky and be reminded of the glittering sea of beauty which shone from his eyes. Maybe if he had took the memories and not just her heart, she wouldn’t find pieces of him scattered around this earth; like his voice in the whispering wind, his face in the burning sun and his touch in the pouring rain. But maybe if she never loved him, she would have never known what love was; she would have never known who she is, as to know you love someone is to know yourself.

DT - Maybe. (via delilahtheodora)

[vomitingwords]

But not all endings happen with waving hands and the loudest of goodbyes, because sometimes endings were made of teary eyes and the saddest of smiles.

ma.c.a // Epilogue (via vomitingwords)

[horrifying]