So... I'm doing this now @dendrobite - Tumblr Blog

All things must end

I hadn't logged in in a while and when I did, all of Diego's pictures had been flagged and deleted. I was about to upload some more when I realized I should take this as an opportunity to start a new project.

Hopefully I'll have something good for you in the coming weeks.

#deleted #dogs #dogs of okcupid #dating #online dating #I quit #okweirdo

Aww come on! Really?

I'm going to preface this by saying that I didn't look at her profile until after this conversation was over.

Now, there are a lot of things going on here.

1) Just right off the bat, How are you going to try to use OKCupid as an emergency taxi service?

2) What sort of business are you running that you're thirty minutes late and you have time to browse OKCupid to find a guy who looks like he won't murder you if you get in his car.

3) You were going to stab me.

4) While looking at her profile I discovered that she is a "sensual massage therapist." Now aside from the fact that no legitimate massage therapist in the country chooses to add the word "sensual" to their job description, this makes her offer so much worse. I would have to go pick her up, drive her to her "client" wait in the car for an hour, then drive her back to her place while she's all sweaty and covered in "sensual massage" fluid. Basically that's a pimp's job. I'm flattered but I don't have the right hat for the job.

5) "Aww come on! Really?" How is she surprised by this? I couldn't find anywhere on my profile that implies that I run a shady underworld taxi service. But that's a great idea for a short story... or a side business. I'd be like the Batman of cab drivers.

6) "I'm reputable," If you're going to bring up your reputation to a complete stranger, you have to be ready to present some references. If you do give out your clients info as references, you're terrible at what I imagine is the most important part of sensual massage therapy... discretion. Also, you're thirty minutes late to your appointment, are you going to wait while I contact them?

7) "It's only a three drive from where I am." Three what? Minutes, hours, days?

8) Seriously, you were going to stab me.

I'll always remember today as the day I chatted with the OKillerCupid

Addendum: She deleted her profile after this. I thought she just blocked me but then I checked from an alternate account. I actually would have gotten murdered. Now I'm really mad at myself for not getting the screenshots when I had the chance.