bad dog @dependentjade-blog - Tumblr Blog

i havent reached any of my goals this year im bloated and disgusting and hello im suffering again

#saw thinspo on my dash so sup friends #anyways sup

i hate the holidays

#i like family and all but like #theres so much food and i wanna die ashgkekai #and devin comes into town and he always gets more junk food and its just around #and god im disgustin #disordered eating/

tfw you cope ship but youre not comfortable with telling people that youre a survivor so you cant openly ship it

#im a csa survivor but i rly dont like bringing it up with people im not close to?#so now im just kind of like nice!#to tell or not to tell

is it possible to be kin with your own characters or is that like super conceited

#summer is me but i didnt write her as me ya feel.#maybe im a system and shes a headmate?#i dont know but summer is kind of me #but like i havent even written about her in forever #hmm

me: ok bri, now as exciting as it is to see austin you gotta be realistic something can easily happen so just prepare to not see him and if you do, its a nice surprise!

austin: you know bri its hard to be optimistic when youre so dreary

me: *shitshitshitshit* u right yea u right yea u- *plans fall through* :) right yea u right

#she speaks #being optimistic just ends up hurting me #because i get excited for things that end up getting cancelled #repetition

im kin with the book House of Leaves

#idk if you can be kin with a book #but... ppl are kin with songs now so fuck you i am this book #not the characters #the entire book #its me

maybe i just should get better at not getting my hopes up

#sorry for complaining #i miss austin i havent seen him in weeks #it seems like every week he has something that he promises will work #and every time #it doesnt #and hes worth it its not like i leave him for that #its out of his control #but im just... lonely #im tired of eating lunch alone and going to classes speaking to nobody #and going home to maybe look forward to a phone call #and nothing more #i just feel empty and unmotivated #yknow?#i distracted myself for a long time but in the end it just wasnt enough #im still here. alone #and maybe thats how it always will be

i just got recommended a n4zi blog

#tumblr wtf. fix your recommend

i just saw a post where someone said theyre killing themselves tomorrow but every note it gets theyll push it back a day its fucking me up but i cant do that to my followers thats so fucked up i wanna vomit

#emetophobia #suicide mention #i dont know i just #theyre probably mentally ill #its not their fault #but its really messing with me

purple yellow red and blue by portugal the man is my suffering song

i suddenly feel ugly and hideous and shameful

#seasonal depression again? no problem!#no wait fuck

the deeds finally done i blocked ene on skype and tumblr idk why it took me this long

#jesus bri

3n3 asked for the ☆ thing right when i answered annas honestly if she calls me out on that im blocking her right away idfc anymore about being nice im not nice

i honestly wouldve been ok if someone killed me last night

#death mention #delete later

this is the third time my friends have made plans right in front of me without intending to invite me

#fuck you fuck you fuck you #i hate them i hate it all #im done giving second chances #im done #i refuse to crawl back to them ever a fucking gain

im gonna fucking vomit tumblr suggested me a pro ana blog

#swearing #emetophobia #cant tag #dont reblog #nononono

tumblr just recommended me gore..... :)

#nice

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