So I've been pretty depressed lately, falling back into disordered eating habits (BED and Bulimia) and self destruction and ideation. I don't want to be a sad sack self loating potatos. So, I've decided to start doing stuff thats not quite as self destructive as doomscrolling and rotting away all day wishing I was someone else.
I look at th1nsp0 still, and I actually think the physique that I want is more like dancers and hikers and climbers. I want to be functionally fit, not skinny. Fantasy and elves and fairies were kind of my favorite things as a kid, so I feel like getting in touch with nature and the fantasy aesthetic again would do me some good. I'm going to start hiking, and documenting my travels, and the cool things I find out in nature. It will be better than inconsistent purge exercise or nothing at all.
I'm also going to properly get back into traditional art, like painting and sculpting, and actually finish some peices. I also want to cook the food I love, like the kind of food you would find at an elven banquet, or in a little mouses hutch. I think good food will help me enjoy life. Maybe I'll even write, I just want to create again. Ill try to post some of the art I make.
Being online and playing games all the time has really been eating away at me, and work has only been fueling my binges. I want to like who I am, and stop punishing myself for not being good enough. I'm going to use this blog to document my progress. Follow along if you want to see me fall down a mountain or whatever.