Depression Oatmeal: Food, Love, Fitness, and Pandemics

A blog about food and the changing reality of life after COVID-19.

[depression-oatmeal]

The next chapter: Virginia

As I sit here on the way from my condo in California, I am nagged once again by all of the entries I’ve missed doing blogs about in the last 4 months. Much has changed in such a short time.

I do plan on catching up on my entries from California when writer’s block strikes - and to document the plethora of food available here in the South/East Coast. Yet - I’ve had so much fun doing this, that I think it’s finally time to start a more ambitious project. 

In 4 short months, I’ve learned that I lived an entire lifetime as what’s known as an anxious-avoidant, or disorganized attachment style (see: Attachment Theory). I’ve finally realized who I am and I’ve started listening to my inner voice. It’s even beginning to communicate - securely, at that. However, the literature for this category (disorganized/anxious-avoidant) has not been extremely helpful. While much has been written about being secure, avoidant, or anxious - very little, if any, has been written about coping and recovering from being an anxious-avoidant. While I’m nowhere near where I want to be yet, I feel safe enough to try to bridge this gap and to finally pursue my life-long dream of being a writer.

It works out great, because the dream of being a child psychologist didn’t work out the way it did. I think I can contribute and give back to the adults I wanted to help as children in the form of this book. My hope is that I can break the cycle for at least one other person in need. If I can do this - then I’ve stopped at least one other person from having to fall as hard as I did to break into a thousand pieces.

Hopefully I can actually finish a book this time.

[depression-oatmeal]

A very late entry capturing Wild Goose, The Cookie Plug, Reel Fun, Cafe Sevilla, and Eat Thai Cuisine (all in Southern California)

The addresses:

Wild Goose: 436 E 17th St, Costa Mesa, CA 92627

The Cookie Plug: 1392 W 7th St Ste A, Upland, CA 91786

Reel Fun: 34551 Casitas Pl, Dana Point, CA 92629

Café Sevilla: 1870 Harbor Blvd, Costa Mesa, CA 92627

Eat Thai Cuisine, Inc: 25482 Marguerite Pkwy #102, Mission Viejo, CA 92692

The websites:

Wild Goose: https://goosebar.com/

The Cookie Plug: https://www.thecookieplug.com/

Reel Fun: https://danawharf.com/

Café Sevilla: https://www.cafesevilla.com/location/orange-country/

Eat Thai Cuisine, Inc: https://eatthaicuisine.com/32095

The ratings:

Wild Goose : 27/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

Reel Fun: 26/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

The Cookie Plug: 28/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

Café Sevilla: 24/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

Eat Thai Cuisine, Inc: 26/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

 Ah, the week leading up to Superbowl weekend and beyond. I certainly kept myself busy over this stretch of time. I think on some level this was because I was trying to forget that Valentine’s Day was approaching but to also speed up the days between the present and when I was going to go see my brother. If I had to put a pin in an all-time low value, I’m fairly certain it fell during this week. All of that being said, though, there were definitely highlights, and I’m going to try to keep those front and center as much as possible.

So as far as my level of introversion/extroversion goes, I did some daring things this week. I went on a date that was better than expected, even if I wasn’t interested overall. I joined a meet-up group and took a leap of faith on meeting complete strangers at a jam-packed happy hour on a Wednesday night – which is how I found myself at the Wild Goose for only the second time in 7 years. I won’t spend much time discussing this, but I had an absolute blast and I can say for sure that I took at least 2 friends away from the experience as well as meeting a rather large group of older college alumni that welcomed me into their family.

After a couple of drinks I was ready to get my food and go home; I had waited sufficiently long to do this, and I was growing tired from my adventurous night. I grabbed a menu and ordered something unique that I had never seen before - the Cilantro Caprese Burger. If I could give this thing 11 out of 10 stars, I would. Their menu on their website describes it as a beef patty on a brioche bun with fried buffalo mozzarella, roasted tomatoes, chimichurri, and a garlic aioli. I was a little skeptical of the fried mozzarella at first, but holy hell did it deliver – it was such a nice accent to an already oddball burger. The crunch was not too overpowering for the squeaky bite hidden underneath, and again, the flavors weren’t overpowering like a freezer mozzarella stick or fried cheese curds. I’m pretty sure I finished the whole thing in 3 or 4 bites, and it was large. This place has a great atmosphere, too – along with serving their food to go, an online menu, and supporting doordash, you really can’t go wrong. It is a bar, at the end of the day, and it can get quite loud and rowdy. This is why I rated it as a 27/30 on the depression oatmeal scale for the most part. I might consider adding a star on to that once I get the chance to have more food, and trust me – I’m planning on doing it soon.

Somehow in the midst of this week, I also had to go file quitclaim paperwork on my condo with my ex. It was quite an awful experience, if not mostly because it was a sad ordeal for both of us. The week quickly turned around, however, and on Superbowl Sunday I found myself on the back end of a Superbowl party in Pomona and realizing there was no way I was driving back home to go to work. I had hiked that day and it was near 100 degrees – combined with the drinking I had been doing and all of the food I had consumed, I was toast. So, I decided to stay the night at my best friends house and we just kept watching post-game reviews. In the midst of all of this, however, I found myself craving something sweet, so I hopped on Doordash and found the cookie plug. If you’re a sweets person, you absolutely need to find one ASAP and order one of these sweet and gooey hockey pucks. I got a variety pack of 7 (it was nearly 30 dollars I believe) but was enough cookies to feed 5 or 6 people, and we all got to try a little bit of everything. I think my favorite one was either the fruity pebbles flavor or the purple velvet. Both were extremely creative, but the fruity pebbles cookie had a nice tang to it that I just couldn’t get enough of. In total, we got the OG (chocolate chip), the Bam Bam (fruity pebbles), the Purple Haze (purple velvet), the Snooperdoodle (Snickerdoodle), the Firecracker (s’mores), the Pink Elephant (strawberry cheesecake), and the Cookie Cookie Cream (cookies ‘n cream). I don’t think I’ve had another honest competitor for Crumbl in the cookie space for years, but this place definitely took the cake. Or cookie. Or whatever. IT WAS AMAZING. As what I think is the first dessert spot I’ve honestly rated as part of this blog, they rightfully earned 28/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale and the extra 2 pounds I gained as a result. Did I mention you can get them on Doordash? YES. YES I DID.

I went fishing on Monday because I ended up calling out sick. The only reason this is getting honorable mentions is because boat food is life – seriously, when people ask me about what the best cheeseburger I’ve ever had is – I always say any that I can get on a boat. All of that being said, the Reel Fun cheeseburger is just ok by Dana Wharf standards – you need to get one from Greg or Mauricio. It’s the juiciest, saltiest, most delicious thing you can eat on the water.

I was later feeling the vibe from my success at the Wild Goose, so I decided to attend a single’s party being held at Café Sevilla in Costa Mesa. Sadly, I regret to inform you that while the food was excellent, the bartender twice provided me with a tequila soda – let me tell you something. When you’re expecting a vodka soda and you get tequila instead, it’s quite an unpleasant experience. While drinking and trying to mingle with others, I had an order of bacon wrapped dates – they were great. The perfect combination of sweet and savory (This is one of my favorite snacks anywhere I go). I realized I was uneasy, though, no matter what I did to try to feel at home. Too late, I realized that Café Sevilla was called something different once upon a time – and that this was in fact where I met someone that continues to cause me a lot of heartbreak and anguish. Once it clicked in my brain, I made a quick and unannounced exit and went home. Sadly, my social media was flooded with a video of reflections on being single and over a month later, I regret saying anything in my story.

On a positive note, I ordered Thai Food from Eat Thai Cuisine – specifically, I got a wild coconut pad thai. This was a doordash exclusive, and I don’t recall having seen a physical brick and mortar location for them – although I know one exists, because I found it. I had it delivered and it was really quite nice – I was looking for comfort food, and pad thai usually works quite well in filling this void. They provided plenty of utensils and such, and made my life easier as I let the night swallow me.

I was going to post pictures here, but sadly, I waited too long to write this entry and they are gone.

[depression-oatmeal]

The Dog Pawrk, Rock and Brews, TIME Nightclub, and Poached Neighborhood Kitchen

The addresses:

Dog Pawrk Brewing: 27122 Paseo Espada #904, San Juan Capistrano, CA 92675

Rock and Brews: 1222 Irvine Blvd, Tustin, CA 92780

TIME: 1875 Newport Blvd B245, Costa Mesa, CA 92627

Poached Neighborhood Kitchen: 9510 Lakewood Blvd, Downey, CA 90240

The websites:

Dog Pawrk Brewing: https://thedogpawrk.beer/

Rock and Brews: https://www.rockandbrews.com/tustin

TIME: https://timenightclub.com/

Poached Neighborhood Kitchen: https://www.poachedkitchen.com/locations/downey

The ratings:

Dog Pawrk Brewing : 25/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

Rock and Brews: 25/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

TIME: 28/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

Poached Neighborhood Kitchen: 26/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

 Alright… so February was quite the month full of experiences, both good and bad. I have to be honest here – I spent so much time healing and trying to center myself that I got lost in these entries. When I say lost, I mean that there was something to be had from each one in the form of a lesson and sometimes it wasn’t just over in a single day. There will be an overall theme to the entries from this month and I have done my very best to group them accordingly. Ideally, some will just be one location – but others will necessarily have to be grouped, and I’m hoping that it makes sense to the audience at the end. I’m not even sure it makes sense to me; but I’m going to do my best to get through it all in a week or so. I really want to be able to start documenting the March occurrences and I don’t want to forget these spots, either.

Right off the bat – the first note of interest is Dog Pawrk Brewing, located in Mission Viejo, California. I had gone on a particularly grueling hike in the morning, and it was my first day back into the condo on my own. I was tired, and my plans for the previous evening had fallen through. Not wanting to get lost in the empty space and ghosts of my now empty condo, I grabbed my dog and forced myself to get out for a little bit. Orange County is a bit difficult when it comes to pets and finding dog friendly spaces is often times taxing. I found this one on yelp pretty quickly and headed on over. I recognized the area pretty quickly – some years ago, I had been to a holiday party at this barbecue spot in the same neighborhood. However, finding the actual location of this place proved to be quite challenging. So much so, that I was a little underwhelmed by the space when I got there – I think just because it was so damn hard to find.

While there, I had two IPAs – The Stray’r dog (a wonderful berry IPA) and The Stray Dog (the prototype for my previous beer). They were both excellent; actually it was some of the best beer I had enjoyed in awhile, mostly because I’ve been deficiting. This was a Saturday in early February, and I didn’t find the atmosphere inviting enough. However, armed with a little buzz – I reached out to the old flame I was supposed to have plans with the previous night and invited her over to my condo to enjoy dinner and some drinks. Quite frankly, I was glad that I did, because she accepted and because Dog Pawrk does not offer food. They only serve food when the occasion calls for it on their calendar, so if you’re looking for a tasty bite I’m afraid you’ll have to go somewhere else. It seems like this little spot is very early in it’s beer lifecycle, so I expected more to come from it in the future. With beer this good, I can’t see how they wouldn’t expand or perhaps seek out a better location soon. Perhaps this is where word of mouth comes in, and it’s really up to us to make sure places like this succeed. So – while I’m only giving this place a 25/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale, it’s because of the atmosphere, difficult to find location, and lack of food – nothing else. They’re scoring 25/30 because their beer is so damn good.

What came next was a very big step for me, and I’m afraid I’m not selling that point home enough – I had never had another woman inside my condo before and I was equal parts terrified and excited for the prospect. We ended up having a wonderful night catching up, overall, although there were some tears shed on both sides for various reasons. When she finally did leave in the wee hours after midnight, I was finally feeling something in my chest besides the overwhelming feeling of failure and sadness the past 6 months had brought me – hope. So, naturally, we planned a follow-up dinner and drinks night with a fellow coworker from our previous place of employment.

This is where Rock and Brews comes in. This other coworker is obsessed with this place; she has been since as long as I’ve known her (about 7 years or so). Although, I must say she’s also a huge 80s girl so the old-school rock vibe of the place is probably what draws her to it, because it’s pretty generic. I mean, it’s fun and all, but the one in Tustin sort of just gives me generic chain vibes. In a different life, I was interviewing for a job at a pharmaceutical company called Kite (located in El Segundo) and they paid for me to get a hotel and dinner/drinks for the two nights I was there. THAT Rock and Brews is much cooler (the one in El Segundo) because they have a beautiful outdoors area that felt like a very german Biergarden. Anyway, the Tustin spot is close to where myself and the other girl are on Thursdays and it’s only a short drive for our old coworker, so it was the perfect spot to meet up.

I was the first one there and I was ravenous, so I had to order food right off the bat. I was trying to keep it on the skinnier side because I was really struggling to break past the 200 pound plateau, so I ordered the buffalo cauliflower. It was surprisingly good, and not battered but just fried. It was also flakey – kind of similar to cauliflower rice, I think. Even more surprising (and frustrating given the tiny pieces) was that the buffalo sauce came on the side. I was also drinking my beers rather quickly because I was nervous about seeing yet again another old coworker in the wake of all of the shit that had happened. See – I had learned during wine night (post Dog Pawrk) that my name had been completely torched at my previous job by someone I love very much (more importantly a dear friend) shortly before disowning me. While I won’t say it wasn’t justified, I was bothered by it for several reasons because not only had they lied to me about this, I wasn’t ever afforded an opportunity by anyone to give answers; I wasn’t even asked. It just all happened in the background and I was supposed to understand what was going on, which I never possibly could have given my mental state and the mixed signals I had been receiving.

The drinks were good, the company was better, and our bartender was an absolute doll! I can’t remember his name for the life of me but he was such a nice guy. There were a couple of instances through-out the evening where either the drinks took too long or were missing very minor touches – so, we ended up with a boatload of free beverages and loaded potato skins. The loaded potato skins were ok – I generally love the twice baked potato vibe, but I was kind of disappointed by the fact that they advertised “candied bacon” as one of the toppings, because what I got were clearly those dried ass Hormel bacon bits that you put on a salad. I digress – it’s not important. Moral of the story is that everything I was worried about was what it’s always been – ghosts, and I had a fantastic evening. It was like we had never stopped talking, and a year and some months hadn’t passed. All of that being said, the food was very “meh”. I am giving Rock and Brews a 25/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale because of our fantastic server and the mediocre quality of the food. It’s a scratch that you can order their food on door dash and that they have a full-service online take-out menu, because I didn’t utilize any of these things. However – they did seem very pandemic friendly.

On the topic of keeping the good vibes going, we had such a good time that we decided to do a brunch the following Saturday. Where I ultimately fucked up here is that I ended up at said brunch quite possibly still drunk or so hungover that I couldn’t tell the difference. However – how I got there is really the most important part, and that’s why TIME in Costa Mesa, CA gets an honorable mention here. Like Dog Pawrk, this is not an establishment for food – it’s not even a brewery, it’s a nightclub. I will touch on spontaneity in later entries, but the entire reason I’m ranking them here on the Depression Oatmeal scale as a 26/30 is because of the amazing quality of musical acts they continue to book. When you combine that with a Vegas style atmosphere and drinks that are half the price ($10 each, roughly) you have a winning combination my friend. I decided to go see an artist I barely knew from my Spotify listening experience that same day, and I went way far out on a limb and invited someone I knew could ultimately be a disastrous letdown. I’m not going to go into details – you only need to know that they came, they were super happy to see me, and this: “This is the best tea I’ve heard about one of my friends in awhile – especially coming from you. You know what though? Guess what – since you’ve been gone, I haven’t seen any of those people, and even if I had, I would have told them that you’re a better person than they are. You’re a grown ass man, you make your own decisions, and as my friend I’m happy that you continue to try to engage me and invite me into your life. That’s more than I can say about any of them.” There’s a significant amount of self-positivity and love behind this statement that I wish I could explain; me and this person have had a rough history but it ultimately made us both better people and more importantly, FRIENDS. Hope was reaching fever pitch; perhaps there was forgiveness I could afford myself in the future after all. Also – Moksi? Absolute fire and an amazing DJ/produce duo.

So I woke up drunk, hungover, and happy – and went to brunch. Against all of my better (worst?) judgement, I ended up in LA county on a Saturday morning at Poached Neighborhood Kitchen in Downey, CA. There are many shitty aspects of doing an anonymous blog – reaching your target audience, a lack of network, and sharing of intimate details that could otherwise help you to reach a broader audience. In all of my entries, I think this is the one I remember as being the one where I wanted to say fuck it all and just open it up publicly. However, this ain’t Instagram, I have too much respect for the people in my life to do that, and finally this is truly an artistic expression of self-reflection and mental health. You know – with a generous amount of restaurant reviews mixed in while living in a pandemic.

I’ve been to a number of brunches in my life in various stages of inebriation. Breakfast is this weird thing to me – I never eat it, yet I fucking love brunch. There’s nothing better than just rolling in to a place with good breakfast food and a full bar at 10am with a raging headache. Well – maybe going sober, and then getting good food and drinks. I had been looking forward to one of those big, ultra-fat bloody marys that comes with a slider and some caramelized bacon – until I learned this place was beer and wine only. My mood only slightly diminished, myself and my friends decided to go with a mimosa flight, a classic bottle of champagne and OJ, and I may have dived off the deep end to get a dry cider. This place is weird, because you have to go up and order your food and drinks at a counter, only to go sit down after and wait. This is slightly off-putting for my idea of brunch because I genuinely love interacting with my servers and enjoying a good amount of libations prior to eating. We did get our drinks before our food, for which I was thankful. I also was not too impressed with the menu overall – so I went with the special, which was a chili verde omelet.  I’m kind of thankful that it was a special item and not a regular menu offering because it doesn’t matter if I forgot the name or not for this entry – you can’t see it, but I’m genuinely laughing at this as I write it. Dude – I’m not one to enjoy americanized Mexican food, because I’ve enjoyed and been spoiled by authentic Mexican food for the better part of 32 years. However – this omelet was seriously something special. The pork was carnitas style, and there was a minimal amount of sauce (all contained within the omelet itself, thank god) so it wasn’t wet and gross when taking a bite. The carnitas was perfectly seasoned and everything you want when you eat it – oil, texture, and salt. The sauce provided enough acidity to cut through the richness of the pork without overpowering it. I ate the whole damn thing – the omelet, my toast, my hashbrowns, and my fruit. I was actually sad enough when I devoured my meal that I ordered a side of bacon (it was just alright) and ate that, too. While this wasn’t my ideal spot for brunch – I’d still come here again for the quality of the food.

Closing notes on Poached: I took the most beautiful and amazing candid photo of one of my friends and I wish that I could share it here, but this where the regrets of an anonymous blog come into play. I had an amazing time. The vibe ended up being pretty good, even if an alternative style that I’m not used to. For this reason, I give them a 26/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale.

[depression-oatmeal]

i20 Ramen, Aliso Viejo, CA

The address: 26705 Aliso Creek Rd ste f, Aliso Viejo, CA 92656

The website: https://i20ramen.com/

The rating: 27/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

I’ve found myself getting further and further behind on these entries, and it’s for a lot of reasons. Some are good, and some are life. I told myself today that I need to make more space in my life for my artistic creativity and passions; however, as everyone in life knows, we make a certain element of sacrifice in our day to day activities. It unfortunately happens that this was something that got hacked.

I went fishing on a Monday during lunar new year and found myself wanting to celebrate. However, I don’t exactly live in the most friendly of places for these types of cultural celebrations, although Orange County does have a large Asian-American population if you go far enough north. However, because I was getting ready to move back into my condo in short order, I wanted to make sure that I left myself enough time to pack my things and move them. Additionally, my weekend was anything but pleasant – my ex and I had a row on the previous Friday about finances, and she ended up blocking me in a fit of rage. So – I had that on my mind, too, and although fishing was excellent, I wanted comfort food.

Once you get past Irvine, there are not many ramen spots worth going to. Luckily, I20 Ramen is nearby, and I hadn’t eaten there since pre-pandemic. In fact, I wasn’t even sure they had survived the pandemic because of the newness of their business. When I checked their website, I noticed their hours had been cut back – likely a result of demand. The menu had also changed slightly, but the staples were still there and there was good food to be had. I ordered the spicy tonkotsu ramen with a soy egg on the side – and I was most impressed by this place for separating out the ingredients for my take-out order. I also ordered chicken karaage – which was AMAZING.

First – the soy egg. So – I’m a notorious soy egg eater. I can probably put down a dozen, however unhealthy that may be, especially if they are readily available. This one was delightful, with a beautiful custard-style yolk. I put half in my ramen and ate the other half. The spicy broth on the noodles was excellent – I drank all of it, no regrets, even after I’d finished all of the toppings and noodles. I like my broth quite spicy; theirs is not, so if this is something you want make sure to let them know. However, if you just like a little spice and warmth in your dish – order it this way! Overall the ramen was exactly what I was looking for – but word to the wise, on my personal ramen preferences:

1.       Their noodles are larger. Not quite as big as soba, but noticeably larger for those that might like a thinner noodle. Japan spoiled me on this. Additionally, the noodles were slightly al dente – again, this is a personal preference for me.

2.       The pork was somewhat bland. Once you mix it with the broth, it hardly matters. However, it could be finished with some additional seasoning in my opinion.

The chicken karaage was fantastic. I don’t think I’ve ever had it, to be honest, and it wasn’t disappointing even in the slightest. It’s also served with a spicy mayo sauce, but I didn’t need it – I dipped the chicken in my ramen broth. It was simply amazing. Realistically speaking, had I judged this place on the ramen alone, the rating may have come in at a 26 – but the soy egg and the karaage were executed perfectly. Additionally – this place is very much pandemic friendly and has several options for ordering to go (grubhub, phone, etc) as well as a website that’s up to date. They gave me plenty of utensils and as I stated previously, all of the ingredients were individually packaged so as to build the ramen yourself when you get home. This preserves the freshness and individuality of the ingredients quite a bit, and you should never get take-out ramen any other way!

[depression-oatmeal]

NFL Conference Finals, and a journey to The Pub, Patsy’s, and Sergeant Pepperoni’s Pizza

The addresses:

Sergeant Pepperoni’s Pizza: 26601 Aliso Creek Rd Suite D, Aliso Viejo, CA 92656

The Pub: 23862 Bridger Rd, Lake Forest, CA 92630

Patsy’s: 28971 Golden Lantern, Laguna Niguel, CA 92677

The websites:

Sergeant Pepperoni’s Pizza: https://www.kyoo.tech/order/merchants/E0V9GD895GK84/locations/801AXTPYCBPKY?fulfillments=pickup,curbside,delivery

The Pub: https://www.thepubca.com/

Patsy’s: https://www.patsysirishpub.net/

The ratings:

Sergeant Pepperoni’s Pizza: 28/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

The Pub: 26/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

Patsy’s: 26/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

Today was a real doozy. It was the conference finals for NFL, and although I didn’t particularly care for either team, I found myself really wanting to watch football. I did all of my exercise early in the morning, and set out on a quest to find the perfect spot to watch the game – hence the reason for all of the entries marking today’s celebration of the Rams vs. 49ers and the Chiefs vs. the Bengals. I had a pretty strong start to the day, considering that I was off on this adventure alone. It was not all without disappointment, of course – two entries didn’t make it on today’s blog, strictly because I was in there for a total of 5 minutes and decided that I didn’t like the vibe at either place, although I was able to catch critical moments of each game.

Sunday’s lately have been a vibe; I’ve finally relented a bit with my militant exercise regime in that I’ve been allowing myself to gorge on the weekends to keep my body confused. So, today I did just that. In total, I went to 5 separate spots and will be reviewing 3 of them for the quality of the food: The Pub, Patsy’s Laguna Niguel, and Sergeant Pepperoni’s Pizza for my weekly “I kill a whole pizza” challenge. I enjoyed my time at all three locations, and the people and crowds were nice. Mostly, though, I found myself feeling pretty empty, given the events of the previous 3 days. I found myself on the end of another blocking, this time at the hands of my ex-fiance – she was in one of her BPD swings, and while I tried to disarm via text, it ended up having the opposite effect. Not to mention – she ended up sending me a pretty vile letter not long after, and it was a pretty toxic occurrence in general. The food was a welcome reprieve filled with catharsis, if I’m being honest – but I just didn’t  want to be alone in watching football, so I found myself continually moving to find my place.

Let’s get right into it; The Pub is a dive bar located just off of the 5 that I discovered a couple of months ago. It’s mostly a quiet place, but they advertise themselves as a sports bar. I’ve only been one other time (the second time I went they were closed for New Years) and the bartender there was really pretty. We enjoyed nice conversation, so I’ve been drawn back to this place hoping to talk with her again at some point. Alas – it wasn’t meant for today. I was starving and didn’t know what I wanted to eat – my bartender recommended the wings.

I mean, come on – have you ever seen such gorgeous chicken wings? Not only were they massive and juicy (this was a portion of 4, and I felt full after I was done) but they were perfectly sauced and fried. If you like good chicken wings – this is your spot. The only reason I give them a 26/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale is because it’s kind of a dimly lit and quiet place. I wish more people frequented the location, if not just for the food. However, they make great and affordable drinks, so I can’t really fault them there. They also serve pizza – I’ve heard it’s good, and I’m going to have to give it a try sometime. Their food can be ordered for pick-up or delivery via DoorDash, and their website indicates you can order food there too – but I have yet to try it. Regardless – if you’re looking for a quiet place to watch the game with good food and attentive servers/bartenders, this is your spot. I will likely keep coming from for the wings and a chance at romance with a bartender.

After two failed adventure spots and a disappointing attempt at spontaneity, I ended up at one of my old watering holes – Patsy’s in Laguna Niguel. Sadly – it was also quiet and dimly lit, although I also had a chance to speak with some of the patrons and we had fun. I usually come here for Irish holidays or on Saturday nights where they have a live DJ, but the crowd is older and sometimes the scene is a little disappointing. What isn’t disappoint is the food: this place HITS. It doesn’t matter what you get, honestly – bar bites or some of the Irish fare. I have literally never had a bad meal here, and recommend the corned beef brussels sprouts or the pub pretzel. The shephard’s pie and any burger is also noteworthy. Today, I got the tempura green beans (pictured below) because I had already plowed through a giant order of 4 chicken wings and was still dreaming of pizza. The green bean fry was mediocre, but the green beans themselves were fresh and the sauce – oh my god, the SAUCE. It was so damn good! I could have put back a cup of this stuff, not even kidding. It was like a salty sweet spicy mayo mix of some kind and perfectly cut through the richness of the fried green beans. I’d order them again just for the sauce, even if I thought the green beans were a tad on the greasy side. Patsy’s also gets a 26/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale because of the fact that you can’t order delivery and getting a pick-up order is also a pain in the ass (you have to call). I would have expected that they would have adapted a little bit better to the pandemic – but this is South County, after all, and a not-so-small portion of the population believes in conspiracy theories and that COVID is a lie. You can see their calendar of events and other things using the website provided.

 Finally, when I had given up on watching football for the day I had a big decision to make: what pizza was I going to destroy to cap off the evening? I went bold – there’s a New York pizza place that’s never to Aliso Viejo called Sergeant Pepperoni’s Pizza that is actually really good. The problem I’ve mostly had with it is that they sell their pizza’s in one size (or so I thought) – 18 inches. They’re quite large, and even with a thin crust that’s an impressive feat. I had already eaten quite a bit, but I looked at their menu anyway (they offer delivery and pick-up via GrubHub, DoorDash, and their website which I’ve provided above) and I was shocked to find that they actually sell a 14” pizza. However – some of their finer menu options aren’t available (K-pie: go look it up and order it immediately if you’re trying to feed a family of 3-4). I didn’t mind this in the slightest because the offerings that they did have were still extremely palatable. I ordered the Hawaii Five-O, a delicious pizza topped with pepperoni, pineapple, sweet NY ricotta, fresh garlic, and jalapenos. I was, as Guy Fieri likes to put it, “taken to flavortown,”. I have ordered this pizza again and again, and it never disappoints. It’s extremely satisfying, the blend of spicy, sweet, and salty. I would say that it’s better than the similar pie I order from Tony Pepperoni’s, and priced at a similar cost for more pizza. Speaking of which – the difference between 12” and 14” is extreme. Let’s not kid ourselves, fellas. I felt grossly full and accomplished after devouring the whole thing. You should give it a try – it’s great for Olympic food training.  

[depression-oatmeal]

Chop Shop and Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers, Aliso Viejo, California

The addresses:

Chop Stop: 26741 Aliso Creek Road, Aliso Viejo, CA 92656

Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers: 26801 Aliso Creek Road, Aliso Viejo, CA 92656

The websites:

Chop Stop: Chop Stop - The best chopped salad you'll ever eat!

Chop Stop - The best chopped salad you'll ever eat!

Do you want to be powerful and muscular like this champion MMA fighter? It’s as easy as eating a Chop Stop salad...

Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers: https://www.raisingcanes.com/

The ratings:

Chop Stop: 25/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers: 23/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

Salads are not inherently sexy. I debated about whether I would even write a review for this meal, considering I was eating salad for the 3rd night in a row and I had to hack the meal somehow to break up the mundanity (chick fil a, I love you but even you cannot make this better). I find that on weeks when I’m cutting really hard, my mood suffers. I just took a look at the week’s statistics; on an 800 calorie a day budget (don’t ask, I know it’s not healthy, I almost always go over so please do not worry), I stayed true to my count Monday – Friday and only went over on two of those days; and not by much. My net average on the week was 1,161 per day – and that was only because on Saturday I binged nearly 5000 calories. The funny part about this is that in order to keep my body confused, I’ll likely have to do the same thing again today – it’s the only way to recover from a cheat day and continue fasting while also losing weight. I see pizza in my future.

So, let’s keep this simple: I had already consumed chic-fil-a salads two nights in a row, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it again. There’s this neat little salad shop called Chop Shop not far from my temporary living situation that I hadn’t been to in awhile (lol like 3 weeks). It’s a chain, and there are a few locations spread out in California and Nevada. I think I saw on the map that there was even a location in Dallas. At any rate, their salads are really good. However, they don’t include a lot of protein when you order one with it, whether it be chicken or fish or steak. So, I was in need of some nutrition, and it just so happened that there was a Raising Cane’s in the same shopping center. I also wanted bread with my salad – something that Chop Stop couldn’t offer, but that Raising Cane’s could.

I was really missing my dog, and while Raising Cane’s gave me the option for ordering single chicken fingers, I also wanted their Texas Toast (it’s really good). So, I made a compromise and ordered the 3 finger combo and drove the order of French fries to my old place and gave them to my pup. It worked out nicely. At any rate – the salad that I ordered from Chop Stop came with salmon, kale, spinach and a lemon vinaigrette. I took the 3 chicken fingers, chopped them up nicely, and threw them in with the salad. It was really good; it complemented the salmon nicely, believe it or not. The flavor and texture of the kale and spinach was exactly what you would expect: crisp and fresh. Sometimes when I get kale or spinach, it ends up being soggy – very much not a good thing. Honestly, that’s why I came back here for a second time – I wanted the freshest of leafy greens to try to help brighten up my outlook on Salad. The chicken fingers from Cane’s were as always – delectable. Sometimes, they don’t cook them all of the way to the doneness that I would like. It’s interesting,  though, because they walk that line of juiciness vs. dry – and Cane’s always errors on the side of juicy. They will not serve you a dry piece of chicken; which, if I’m being honest – they only serve boneless meat, so this is refreshing. Sometimes, though, you just don’t want to eat wet chicken. At any rate, it was wonderful this time. The Texas Toast I ordered double buttered – it makes it a little softer and extra salty.

I can’t spend any more time describing this meal. It was a chicken salmon salad – and it was one of the best I’ve ever had, but at the end of the day it’s a boring meal. So, final rating for my hack-job combination dinner? Chop Stop gets a 25/30 for accessibility (online ordering, take-out, the whole nine yards – utensils are free) and flavor of the greens on the Depression Oatmeal Scale. Raising Cane’s, which I wouldn’t rate under any other circumstance, gets a 23/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale because it’s a fast food chicken shop, and the chicken/Texas Toast was exactly what I wanted with my salad.

[depression-oatmeal]

Pizza Port, San Clemente, California

The address: 301 N. El Camino Real, San Clemente, California 92672

The website: https://www.pizzaport.com/brewpubs/san-clemente

The rating: 27/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale

Alright, so I’m going to cut right down to the chase.

I’ve been putting off the shit out of this entry for multiple reasons – it’s been a hard week, and I really have been trying to focus on cutting and my mental health. This weekend was interesting because I felt like I didn’t care at all about any of these things – because I got to spend it with the people that make me happy, when they’re in the mood. I got to go lobster hooping. I got to go fishing. I even caught some things – but nothing worth talking about, as we did not return home with anything that was legally acceptable.

Today – I am celebrating the greatest checkmate of my life. For multiple reasons; one, because I’ve finally accepted the fatality of the situation. Two, though – because I legitimately accomplished the most epic win of my life by putting myself out there and sticking up for the important things that I believe in, especially regarding my workspace. I officially transferred into Operations/Manufacturing today – as a director. Which, in short, I already was, but within the Quality department. I played the game as hard as I could, and it seemed like at every turn I was fronted by someone with more power and influence. I was in a space that was no longer safe; I had no allies. It was a very difficult time. Finally, after a short stint with Mexican police in September, I decided that enough was enough, and it was time for the Hail Mary. What’s funny is that the Wicked Witch of the West initially pretended like she didn’t even want to hear what was going on in my head when I first contacted her (mind you, I was on PTO – seriously, as a leader in the biotech industry, alarms would have been going off in my head hardcore. Huge red flag, when you can’t even escape your demons when you leave the place) but I persisted and forced her to listen.

Now, I am officially in a better place, career-wise, a place that I wanted to be in, and more importantly, away from her demented psychotic-ass. It doesn’t get much better than that – kudos to you mom, for teaching me that I can and I will beat any obstacle that someone throws in my way, especially if it affects my long-term goals.

So – enter Pizza Port, San Clemente. Man – I love this place. It’s a weirdly built 3 story building that mostly looks like it used to be a house of some kind. Pizza Port also has a cute obsession with Star Wars; a lot of decorations and beers pay homage to the franchise. I was with my best friend and we were going to go hooping (lobsters) but also the Green Bay – 49ers game was on, so we wanted to watch it. We ordered the pizza Monterey; it was amazing, as it always is. The thing that keeps drawing me back to Pizza Port isn’t the arcade; it’s not the beer, or the atmosphere even (all are fantastic). It’s the quality of the ingredients and the texture of the crust. I can’t quite explain it, but it’s fluffy and fantastic. It sort of reminds me a way better version of the old-style Dominos crust, from like the 90s and 2000s. The pizza is affordable but expect a wait when you go – this place is very popular. It wasn’t that crowded, all things considered (pandemic, Omicron/Delta/whatever) with the game. Which – for the record, they are very pandemic friendly. You can order food online using their website, and both delivery and take-out options are available. Like most other places in Orange County though, masks are more of a guideline and not a rule, so be safe.

For reasons similar to my entry on Tony Pepperoni, the Depression Oatmeal Rating for Pizza Port in San Clemente is 27/30 – I would score them higher if it wasn’t for the general “OC” atmosphere regarding COVID in general, but instead I’m just going to say that they for sure have better pizza!

[depression-oatmeal]

Luna Grill and Tony Pepperoni, Aliso Viejo, CA

The addresses:

Luna Grill – 26921 Aliso Creek Rd Suite E105, Aliso Viejo, CA 92656

Tony Pepperoni – 27822 Aliso Creek Rd #100, Aliso Viejo, CA 92656

The websites:

Luna Grill  - https://locations.lunagrill.com/luna-grill-0f4753a4c894

Tony Pepperoni - https://www.tonypepperonipizzeria.net/order.html

The ratings:

Luna Grill – 25/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

Tony Pepperoni – 27/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

I just have to say that I went on a hell of an emotional rollercoaster on Monday that didn’t stop until I ate an entire 12” medium pizza for the first time in my life. I literally consumed somewhere north of 6000 calories if you factor in the munchies I had at 4am (I’m not). I was very grateful to get to see my puppers at some point in the day, awakened from my hungover stupor, and even more so to take her on a short 5 mile hike later on in the afternoon. I attribute this as the sole reason I was even remotely able to stuff my face with as much food as I did in an 18 hour period. Depression doesn’t fuck around when it hits.

Part of the reason I was so upset a majority of the day (and hungover to boot) was because I got into a confrontational discussion with one of my close friends sometime around 2am. It was productive; but I ultimately felt like I was getting gaslighted about my reasons for the split between myself and my ex-fiance. For a long time (2 hours) I felt like I was being made out to look like a complete idiot with no regards for my explanation; furthermore, it went even further when it was described to me that these questions applied to many of our other mutual friends as well. Why not ask me, instead of musing about it? This is the ultimate theme of the past 6 months, and something that’s irked me both for my own behavior as well as the behavior of others: if you have something to say just say it, and if you have questions just ask them. A few moments of uncomfortableness can prevent a permanent loss or damage down the road. This is a lesson hard-learned, and one that I’m proud to say I am finally embracing.

When I got back to Orange County, I wanted Mediterranean food something awful. The previous day, I had seen that my ex had ordered Forte (another review for another time) on our shared dashpass account and I was infinitely jealous. Not wanting to wait or pay inflated prices, I decided to hit Luna Grill for a quick fix; I also had a coupon for a free starter just from subscribing and unsubscribing to their text notifications list, so this made it more attractive in my current state (going broke).

I ended up ordering the stuffed grape leaves (served cold), two sides of pita (pita is shown above, but it’s definitely not all of it) and the Koobideh Kabob plate, served with classic hummus. For my sauce, I chose the garlicky feta (meh). I had recently eaten at a Luna Grill, I think on the night before NYE 2021 and I knew the hummus and pita were solid. I had never had one of their kabobs, though, and to be honest it was good and satisfied the craving. I wouldn’t call it the best I’ve ever had, but I can hardly see this being a bad meal – it seemed very consistent. The hummus has a good amount of seasoning and it complemented the kabob as well as the pita perfectly. I was not a fan of the garlicky feta sauce; it tasted too similar to plain sour cream, or Salvadorean crema – just not quite the punch of flavor I was hoping for. Sadly, I had read this online before my purchase and I still chose to ignore it. Pick another one, if you find yourself struggling and have read this. The rice that came with the plate was standard; it wasn’t the best nor the worst I’ve ever had, and worked with what I was eating. The grape leaves were delicious – they had a nice punch of dill and other seasonings that really worked excellently as a pallet cleanser. I was intrigued by the fact that they were served cold – I’ve only ever had stuff grape leaves one other time in my life, and they were warm, so I wasn’t quite sure if a mistake was made or if this was intentional. Either way – it was delicious.

I promptly went to sleep after entering my Mediterranean coma. When I woke up, I took my puppers for that hike and then I dropped her back off. Once I had showered and felt more normal, I decided to do something productive with my life and work on another writing project while deciding what to get for dinner. Coincidentally, the Rams game was on and I also wanted to catch a few quarters of that. At any rate, I ended up going to a local pizza spot (where I didn’t intend on ordering pizza) to have a beer and do my writing called Tony Pepperoni.

This place is solid. They remained open during most of the pandemic. Unfortunately, it has a strong business base of entitled and affluent folk that refuse to wear masks, with a sprinkling of anti-vaxxers. I probably would have given the joint a 28/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale if it wasn’t for this – but hey, I’m not totally against the idea of a business making money, so I get where they are coming from. At any rate, I enjoyed a beer or two and worked on my project and as I kept going I realized that I actually really wanted pizza. So I ordered a 12” medium “sarah”racha that came with pineapples, ham, bacon, jalapenos, and a smattering of a sweet and spicy sriracha based sauce on top. I got it to go, not wanting anyone to see my shame as I was feeling very hungry, given that I had eaten a mountain of Mediterranean food at lunch.

The pizza traveled well to my house, and was still hot and delicious upon consumption. At first, I found myself eating just the pizza and setting the crusts aside because I was very aware of the calories I was eating and that I was no longer even – was never even – on a deficit scale, even after the short hike. Then – the pizza was gone…. And I kept eating the crust, too. All of it. I had flavored it with butter and parmesan, I believe, and man was it good! The sweet and spicy flavor profile of the pizza was exactly what I was looking for; it had to have been. I have never eaten a 12” pizza all to myself in my entire life – I was impressed at myself. Furthermore – I was still hungry when I was done!

The last thing I’m going to say about this place is that they have a ton of TVs and are always playing sports; if you’re not feeling the Buffalo Wild Wings vibe and you’re local, this is a great place to come for a change-up. Additionally, they have an arcade and a lot of seating so it’s easy to spread out. Word to the wise; this place is usually packed in the evenings and weekend mornings for either youth sports or NBA/NFL. You can order your pizza online, and they also offer delivery and take-out (delivery is a 3 dollar fee; better than pizza hut and dominos these days). Also – if you’re not feeling pizza, the fried ravioli and the wings are solid choices. They used to do this thing where they just fried pepperoni into chips and served them – I miss those days. They might still do it for you if you ask.

[depression-oatmeal]

Big Boi Filipino

The address: 2027 Sawtelle Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90025

The website: https://www.gobigboi.com/

The rating: 29/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

I know, I know – I think this might be the highest rating I’ve ever given a place. Before I get started, you should know that the Sawtelle District in Los Angeles (I think it’s somewhere between Inglewood, Santa Monica, and to the left of the 405 if you’re driving northbound) has some of the most kick-ass food I’ve ever had. There’s another place there that I hope to have an entry for someday that I ate at back in October (a ramen house) so food here so far is 2 for 2. I highly recommend this location for a lunch stop or date night, as the street has a somewhat magical and cutesy feel to it. There is an abundance of local food here – in fact, I don’t think I’ve seen a single chain in my journeys out there. I have been frequenting this area more as of late because of the proximity it holds to two of my friends, so I hope to have more delightful eateries to report back on at some point.

Sunday was day 2 of wild card weekend and I had made plans to meet up with a couple of my friends after my morning hike in Fullerton. Initially, we were promised delicious Filipino food from one of the individuals in attendance, but because of a misfortune with a vehicle this didn’t happen. While we were watching the 49ers beat the cowboys, I mentioned that I still wanted Filipino food, as this is a cuisine I rarely get the opportunity to try. Thus, we ended up ordering take-out from big boi, as many of them had eaten there in the past to critical acclaim. While I was slow to eat my order because of the abundance of chicken liver I had consumed for a second time, I was not disappointed by the comfort food and it kept me sustained well into the early hours of Monday.

In hindsight, I realized that while I enjoyed myself (we went to a place called Busby’s for pool and karaoke after the chiefs destroyed the steelers) and the time I got to spend with my core group, I wasn’t in a great mood. Considering the events of the previous week – I wasn’t all that shocked, but I had hoped that Sunday would serve as a fresh start day for many things. I had some difficult discussion with my friends about breaking off my engagement, and there were a lot of questions. As I’ve learned in my readings and in therapy, this isn’t that big of a surprise in general because I kept so many things under wraps for so long. In fact, I would go so far as to say that they didn’t even believe me. While I may never have the true answer to this question, I suspect this to be a result of a non-BP supporting a BP for decades, with elements of shame sprinkled in. So, I was very grateful to have some authentic Filipino comfort food at my disposal – and man, I ate a ton of it.

I unfortunately didn’t take any photos of my food, so I’m going to have to use Yelp to help me again:

  I want to point out that both the Lechon Kawali (pork rind but different) and Lumpia Shanghai were both supposed to be shared; however, no one ate any. When we got back in the early hours of Monday, I devoured both bags. The portions are huge for the price, given that this is Los Angeles. The Lechon Kawali made for the perfect drunk snack, and was like a chewy, fatty version of another Mexican pork rind variety I’ve tried in the past. However – it help up to storage conditions much better. I commented to my buddy that with the Mexican chicharrones with the skin attached, you usually have to be there first thing in the morning (el progresso) to get them while they’re fresh – if you buy them late in the afternoon, or don’t eat them until the next day, they’re usually stale and not that good. This was not the case with the Lechon – it was to die for. It also came with a side of Masarap for dipping – but I didn’t really eat much of that because of COVID and cross-contamination (double dippers).

The Lumpia Shanghai was exactly what I expected – small, better tasting fried egg rolls with much more flavor. I don’t like egg rolls as much, particularly because of the size – but lumpia are truly a finger food and excellent for snacking. It’s like biting into a fried meaty stick with sauce. These little delicious babies of sexual pleasure were served with a sweet and sour sauce, but for me it wasn’t that impressive. It was fairly standard, and while it complemented the Lumpia perfectly, I found myself wishing that I had something closer in consistency and flavor to the Masarap, or like a thai peanut sauce. I didn’t say this when talking about the Lechon, but I also want to mention that both it and the Lumpia held up extremely well to air-frying – it was basically like the food was coming straight out of the restaurant. Seriously, these guys don’t mess around – get the Lumpia. You won’t regret it.

Finally, outside of all of the fat-fuck fried deliciousness, I ordered a traditional Filipino comfort soup called Sinigang. This was fanfuckingtastic. The description on their menu describes it simply as tamarind-based sour soup. I don’t know if y’all know this, but basically anything made with Tamarind is fucking elite tier. The soup base was thin and extremely flavorful – it was also packed with fresh ingredients slow-cooked to perfection. It had beef short rib, daikon radish, and some other greens I couldn’t pick up on. The chef at big boi calls this dish “Filipino Penicillin”, apparently. I must say that I agree wholeheartedly, because a hot and wholesome soup was exactly what I was looking for on Sunday – something to cure what ailed me (not possible but a guy can try). I will 100% be ordering this again; I might also try to make it, if I can get past the fact that whole tamarind looks suspiciously like cat shit.

On food alone, this place would score a 28/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale, but I have to admit – it’s convenience and adaptation to the pandemic inspires a point more. They offer delivery via the big 4, they have an online powered ordering menu for take-out, and if you live anywhere in a mile vicinity of Sawtelle it’s easy to walk to. Parking is almost non-existent; this might be the reason I wouldn’t give it a perfect 30. In fact – the one time I parked my car in Sawtelle, I got a ticket – smh.

[depression-oatmeal]

The Tilted Kilt and Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles

The Tilted Kilt and Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles

The addresses:

The Tilted Kilt – 1625 West Katella Avenue, Orange, CA 92867 (Stadium Promenade)

Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles – 830 North Lake Avenue, Pasadena, CA 91104

The websites:

The Tilted Kilt – Only on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/tiltedkiltpub/?hl=en)

Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles - https://www.roscoeschickenandwaffles.com/

The ratings:

The Tilted Kilt – 25/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale

Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles – 27/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale

I had a busy Saturday; I went hiking in Laguna Beach and had plans to go see a friend in LA county to watch football playoffs. As fate would have it, those plans both fell through and then were re-initiated, so somehow I found myself at the Tilted Kilt in Orange with a different friend, watching the Bengals beat the Raiders. I wanted to see this person, see, because both of us are having a rough go at it into the new year, and also they’re the closest thing I have to a best friend at the moment (who am I kidding? I’ve known this person since we were in diapers). It wasn’t just about staying busy – I wanted to make sure they were doing ok, because otherwise I can never really know.

I met them after they got off work and we initially tried to go to this other place to watch the game but there was only enough parking for one of us (we had two cars) and what felt like every single Raiders fan in California was in attendance; seriously – there was not a single place to sit inside, nor stand. It’s not like it’s a small place – it’s actually massive (website is here, if you’re interested: http://dannyks.com/). Calling it a defeat and still wanting to watch the game, we went across the street to The Tilted Kilt because it was far less crowded and we were actually able to get a seat to watch the game. I had never been to one of these places, honestly (it’s a chain) and from what I understood it was something similar to a hooters, with the exception being that the girls were dressed differently. Realistically, I’m going to call it how it is – they were dressed more sparingly.

This place was also packed and getting a consistent flow of beverages and food throughout the game were difficult, so we only had a couple of beers. We both ordered food, however, and that was delivered to us quickly. The menu is what you’d expect it to be – a mix of irish-american inspired bar food with things you might find at a sports bar, such as wings, nachos, or other fried foods. I was ravenous from my hike so I knew I had to eat, but I didn’t know what I really wanted, so I settled on a shrimp appetizer – Bangin’ Shrimp, I believe it was called. It was pretty good; it came with roughly 15 shrimp (small to medium sized) that were lightly friend and tossed in some sort of red glue that had a sweet and spicy flavor to it. The closest thing I can compare it to is Wendy’s sweet and sour sauce, which is known for having a tad bit of spice to it, although this sauce had more heat. It left me feeling full and satisfied, but not disgusting – something I was grateful for, because I still had room for dinner later in my calorie budget. Service was whatever, honestly, even considering that it was packed. This probably wasn’t an ideal situation for a pandemic, either – the building was full, as I mentioned. The beer we were served was incorrect at least one time, so that was also annoying. Overall though, I had a good time watching the game and catching up with my buddy. What wasn’t immediately clear to me was whether or not they had online ordering, or were served by Doordash or ubereats and the like. Since it wasn’t well advertised and they don’t have a website, I don’t think they’ve embraced the new world order for food, but perhaps this is because of their market and the clients they serve. This makes for a 25/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale, and a photo of the shrimp can be found below.

Later, I ended up going to visit my friend in LA anyway, as we had made plans to do something the following day as well and it just made more sense for me to stay at their house. We watched the Bills absolutely destroy the Patriots and quickly got bored so we ordered food and played videogames instead. I was famished once again from my hike and looking for something that was going to fill my belly for a solid 24 hours – and I certainly found it in Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles. I was blown away to see that they were now serviced by the big 4 of food delivery services – and lucky for us, there was one not far from where we were staying (Pasadena). I was so excited! See, I used to live across the street from a Roscoe’s (albeit a much cooler one with a rich history and culture) and so I had many a fond memory of eating there after a night of drinking with friends, or even just when I wanted breakfast for dinner.

Note: photos taken from Yelp, as I forgot to take any.

My favorite menu item at Roscoe’s was discovered through a lot of trial and error, because I’m not a huge fan of fried chicken (at least of the fast food variety, and while that isn’t Roscoe’s, one can argue that it comes close). I ordered the #10 – Fresh Chicken Livers and a waffle. It can be confusing when you see this written as “fresh” – one might easily believe that they’re boiled or seared or something. However, this isn’t the case – they’re deep fried and golden, and I swear to whatever agnostic God I follow that they give you nearly two pounds of livers. They are seriously the best chicken livers I’ve ever had the privilege of tasting – consistently so, in fact. I’ve never once had this prepared incorrectly or with different portions. Chicken livers in general aren’t something that White America on this side of the coast eats – most often, they are associated with southern comfort food or cultures found in Asia and Europe. In fact, I don’t think it’s an understatement to say that most people see it as a food associated with poverty – far from it, in this writer’s opinion. When I get it, I typically do two things before eating: dump two of their small syrup containers all over the livers, and then add a healthy amount of buffalo sauce (Any variety). It creates the perfect flavor bomb, and complements the waffle perfectly – which you can either eat like a waffle, or use to make a half assed sandwich with the livers. The waffles at Roscoe’s aren’t necessarily my favorite (I like mine crunchy; these are soft) but they are flavored with cinnamon and are nice to eat every once in a while – and from what I can tell, it seems like a ton of people really enjoy them. This meal successfully put me into a food coma of the best variety and I promptly went to bed.

I gave Roscoe’s a higher rating on the Depression Oatmeal scale because of their relatively easy accessibility for great Los Angeles county; they have multiple locations from Pasadena to Long Beach. With the delivery option now fully rolled out, this makes it a pandemic lovers paradise. Get to one right away and eat the livers, I swear that you won’t regret it!

[depression-oatmeal]

Bar Louie and Smashburger

The addresses:

Bar Louie – 2467 Park Avenue, Tustin, CA 92782 (The District at Tustin Legacy)

Smashburger – 26541 Aliso Creek Suite C, Aliso Viejo, CA 92656

The websites:

Bar Louie - https://www.barlouie.com/locations/us/ca/tustin/the-district

Smashburger - https://smashburger.com/locations/us/ca/aliso-viejo/26541-aliso-creek-road/

The ratings:

Bar Louie – 24/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale

Smashburger – 26/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale

I am fairly backed up on my entries for this blog, mostly because I’ve been smashed by chaos in the past week; there’s simply been too much going on in the outside world and too much good food consumed in the same time span, something I attribute to the traditional notion of “comfort” food. It’s appropriate, then, that I ended up at a bar and a place called Smashburger on Friday night.

First and foremost – I found myself entering a period of regression with my ex and falling back into the pattern of abuse. I’m not really sure how it happened, but I suspect it was because I let myself believe that talking and visiting in tandem were healthy. Therapy on Thursday night made the issue somewhat worse, but by Friday morning I had snapped out of it and pulled back. It was hard, but ultimately we have to love ourselves before we can love anyone else, and this is the thing I keep at the forefront of my mind during this troubled time.

Secondly, Friday was really unsettling in general for many reasons. I experienced a double death in the family (both my cousin and my uncle) as a result of COVID, and several milestones in my journey from the past 7 months were realized. I hit my initial target weight of 210, good for 62 pounds of weight loss – and realized that I was at day 60 of another loss that I continue to mourn. I had a lot of bittersweet feelings flooding through my brain, so I decided to take a trip down memory lane and found myself at Bar Louie in Irvine (although the address reflects Tustin) so that I could catch part of a basketball game I was interested in.

I spent many drunken nights at this place, in a different life. I have mostly fond memories of being here, although my last one was not pleasant because I had a major panic attack that took a lot of alcohol to recover from. As these things go, I don’t spend a lot of time here anymore, for various reasons – mostly it’s because I have restrictions when driving, and I’m not exactly what you call close to the location. I knew that if I went to get a drink and some food, I was going to have to wait to leave, but I committed – Bar Louie is known for fantastic and cost friendly martinis, but this was not the night for that. I had trouble entering the building at first, for fear that I would either see someone I recognized or because of my memory of the panic attack. I eventually went in, though, and sat down at the bar.

The bartender that served me was friendly and attentive, initially. She put the game on for me and brought me a vodka soda. It was happy hour, so the drink was very affordable and it was well prepared. I cruised through the QR code menu (great for a pandemic!) and looked at the half-off appetizers, but nothing particularly jumped out at me, so I moved on. I found something intriguing while I was looking at the full priced menu – shishito peppers. It was calorie friendly and looked delicious, so I gave it a shot and placed the order. It was about this time that I realized someone had switched my game off, but the bartender was nowhere to be found. I was mildly irritated – it wasn’t even another game, someone had switched it to the news.

I have to say – the peppers were amazing. They were blistered and coated in tajin, garlic, a sesame and soy blend with ginger, and shallots. I did feel like I was playing Russian Roulette with the peppers – most of them were mild with little to no heat, but some of them kicked my ass. This was a really creative idea for an appetizer and I would definitely get it again – they get full marks for drinks and food. However, I couldn’t bring myself to order dinner there to go. I just wasn’t thrilled by the menu options, and I wanted to celebrate my weight loss milestone with something better. Bar Louie has online ordering with options for pick-up and delivery (they’ve even added a room service option), so they get good points for that as well as the peppers. Overall, though, the menu itself was kind of depressing. Not to mention – the ambiance in the place was somewhat dark and depressing. This is primarily why I ranked them as a 24/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale – I wish they would work on the lighting and service a bit.

After I left I found myself taking an unnecessary detour to get home; I tried to stop myself from doing it and even reached out to my buddy in Virginia hoping he’d talk me out of it. While they did indeed try to stop me – I couldn’t help but feel this powerful urge telling me that it was time to face my fears so that they could be fully realized and protected against. I drove past the empty apartment, knowing full well that the lights would be off. I had intended on stopping at the park where I got my DUI, to take a second to reflect on how it happened and why it wouldn’t happen again. However, I couldn’t or didn’t need to do it – as sad and fearful as the confirmation was, it was also exactly what I needed and it was time to move on. So, I said fuck it and went to Smashburger.

 I regularly come to this location every couple of months when I’m looking for a twist on a classic burger. Although it is indeed a chain – they never disappoint with anything that I order, and I love the flavor and texture of their burgers. They regularly have a new offering on their menu and I usually try it; sometimes it’s disappointing (still creative) but most times it’s really good. This was the case tonight with the Chorizo Smashburger (single). It was incredibly delicious; they used a good quality chorizo as well, but I couldn’t tell if it was pork or beef. My biggest annoyance with most places that offer chorizo in something is usually that they incorporate the sausage form into the dish as opposed to the freeform ground chorizo that is so lovely. Smashburger used ground chorizo on this burger, which I complemented with a side of their shaved and fried brussels sprouts – always a solid choice. They have really good tater tots here too, but I was feeling something more green and earthy this evening. I should also note that I got my order to-go and that it was placed using their online portal.

I give this location (Smashburger) a solid 26/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale because the servers were friendly, attentive, and quick to process my order. I’ve been here before and had to wait, bit this wasn’t the case on Friday. Smashburger is available on Doordash at nearly all of their locations and the food is high quality but reasonably priced. This is a perfect combo for the fast-casual dining experience and the occasional cheat meal for anyone seeking to eat a damned good burger.

[depression-oatmeal]

The address:  28141 Crown Valley Pkwy Ste B Laguna Niguel, CA 92677

The website: https://www.snoozeeatery.com/restaurant/california/laguna-niguel/

The rating: 26/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale

I must admit that I have been holding on to this entry for a few days. I kept trying to get it done, but things just kept getting in the way. Feelings and emotion kept getting in the way. I could go on, but the reality is that I wasn’t even sure that I wanted to write it. However, with today being the day I get my first tattoo, I thought it best to purge prior to getting there.

I’ve been reading this book called “Stop Walking on Eggshells”. If you’re interested in it, or know someone struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder (BP) or a non-BP individual struggling to support one with BP, just reach out to me and I’ll give you a copy. It’s been a difficult read for me, but I don’t know if that’s because I feel like absolute shit for not having access to this information earlier or because it confirms what I know in my heart. My therapist assigned it to me last week, knowing that I’ve been struggling with exiting a traumatic and abusive relationship. At least, that’s my current understanding of why she assigned it to me.  

A simple truth in life is that co-existing or living with a BP is difficult. BP is one of the most commonly misdiagnosed mental illnesses in the United States. When you’ve been surrounded by BPs your entire life, you become a master of walking on eggshells. Whether out of self-defense, shame, or survival, you learn not to discuss your emotions or thoughts with anyone for fear of rejection or conflict. Oftentimes, both the rejection and conflict are volatile and damaging. Over time, you develop a mask that can be switched at any time, depending on who or what you’re interacting with. In the process, you lose your own self-identity because you’re convinced that you can’t have one. Thus, a cycle of co-dependency is born and the emotional self-harm you’re causing yourself in the process begins to fester into an open wound. When the wound is finally large enough to be exposed without containment, it’s very difficult to convince the others around you of what’s happening – by and large because of a façade you’ve created of being a chameleon with your environment or an individual that isn’t phased by anything or anyone.

The last 3 days have been very difficult for me. This is an unusual pattern, because typically I am afforded at least 5 days a week of peace with my decision. Unfortunately, it’s mostly my fault for exposing myself to hazards/triggers by interacting with my ex. Beyond that, though, there’s been other interesting developments that are far too early to comment on here, all of which are likely contributors to my general mood. So, we arrive at Snooze before noon on a weekend – and what an incredible meal it was.

Laguna Niguel/Laguna Hills/Aliso Viejo/Laguna Woods in general have all sorely lacked for a weekend brunch spot for the entire time I’ve lived here. Snooze arrived sometime during the early days of the pandemic, but after the first shutdown – a welcome sight amongst all the businesses that had closed locally during that time. I didn’t realize the first time I came here that it was a chain; you’ll understand if you ever have the pleasure of visiting. I only realized it after I used the QR code to obtain the menu – they have dozens of locations across the United States. This saddens me a bit because of the consequences it has on other local spots, but ultimately the spot deserves a review simply because the food there is to die for.

The two items pictured below are the following: Habanero Pork Belly Benny (Benedict) and the Blueberry Danish Pancake with a side of their sausage links.

 So, I had previously tried to get the Habanero Pork Belly Benny and unfortunately was served ham. I didn’t return it because I was starving at the time but it was pretty disappointing, overall, so I don’t recommend it. However – this carefully crafted masterpiece should 100% be your next brunch food. Bacon espresso jam, a cream cheese hollandaise sauce, pork belly marinated in habaneros and seared, and perfectly poached eggs. I had really gone overboard with pork belly this weekend – so I substituted dressed greens for hash browns. The dressed greens were fresh and served with a delightful vinaigrette. Worth noting however – the hash browns are to die for. They’re slightly mashed and formed into a potato cake, giving them an unbelievable texture. I would recommend getting them if it’s your first time! The pancakes were a literal sugar bomb but oh so delightful – topped with blueberry coulis (no idea what the fuck that means but to me it tasted like a reduction) and filled with sweet cream, almond streusel, and lemon cream-cheese. My only problem with super sweet things is that I never end up eating all of it – it’s a lot, all at once. I could eat a dozen of these though, if someone put me up to the challenge. Ultimately, Snooze loses a couple of points on the Depression Oatmeal scale though, strictly because they severely undercooked the pork sausage. I wasn’t particularly in the mood for licking a toilet seat on a Delta flight, so I didn’t eat it.

This place also serves craft cocktails – of the morning variety and the nooner type. I usually get a morning marg with habanero, or one of my own creations (jalapeno and habanero vodka soda – it’s actually quite good and cuts your appetite). Today, I had a Buenaveza Lager with my meal, and it complemented the richness of the meal perfectly. They also know how to do a mimosa right, if that’s what you’re in the mood for – no bottomless, but trust me when I say you don’t need it, as they barely but any orange juice in there. If cocktails aren’t your thing, they have craft sodas as well as iced tea that you can pump full of flavor shots on request (delicious). Not mentioned as part of this review are previous meals I’ve had, but want to share: Bacon Sensation (It’s a Sammy, it’s good), Bacon But Different (I get a side of this nearly every time I come), Sweet Potato Bacon Smash Up (My favorite thing on the menu by far, they also offer a vegan option and it’s just as good), and the Breakfast Pot Pie.

Snooze is very popular. If you’re going on the weekends and have a party of 2 or more, you’ll likely have to wait over an hour, possibly two, to get in. Luckily, they manage the waitlist using Yelp, so you can put yourself down when you wake up and still have time to exercise and shower before showing up. Parties of 1 or 2 may get lucky with open bar seating (I have twice), but I wouldn’t bank on this. They offer take-out, but no delivery. The take-out is serviced through the website I shared. Ultimately this place is really good – I knocked points off for the undercooked pork sausage and lack of a delivery option. Did I mention that it’s dog friendly?

[depression-oatmeal]

Gen Korean BBQ

The address: 68 West Main Street, Alhambra, CA 91801

The website: https://www.genkoreanbbq.com/alhambra

The rating: 26/30 on the Depression Oatmeal Scale

Ok, so on Thursday one of my friends that sort of appeared out of nowhere recently (this is only half true, because we fish together) texted me and asked if I wanted to go to dinner on Friday night. I was intrigued, if not just because I had never been to the city where their house was located - and I knew that this place was known for excellent traditional Asian cuisine. Dreams of eating Michelin Star Dumplings were quickly dashed, only because they were short on cash for the evening (dumplings are cheap, but I digress, because I quickly realized that they were hungry for something more). I would like to give this person a shout-out, though, if only because they’ve made a superior effort in the last year to connect on a level beyond what we’ve traditionally had. Which, to be clear, was excellent friendship - just not as transparent as it should have been (my fault).

At any rate, I had nothing to do and I was trying to keep my mind off of unfortunate topics. So I went - not only did I go, but I also went hiking shortly before with my ex, and finally got some general agreement about her moving out and me re-claiming the condo next month. When I got to my friend’s house, I was excited to learn that we were going to a staple of theirs - a place called Gen’s Korean Barbecue in Alhambra. Even I must admit that I wasn’t prepared for the events of the next couple of hours, as my standards of how magical Korean Barbecue can be were not very high, in general - I don’t mean that I find it unappetizing, either. I just mean my experiences with Korean Barbecue have been limited to Road to Seoul AYCE (all you can eat) in the greater Los Angeles Area (the address: 1230 South Western Avenue, Los Angeles, CA 90006) which in lack of a proper website, can be viewed here at their Yelp page: https://www.yelp.com/biz/road-to-seoul-los-angeles. I genuinely enjoy my experiences here, as I usually come in large groups and copious amounts of meat, soju, beer, and appetizers are involved. However - the menu options are tiered, and so even if it’s all you can eat, the cheaper options (which are mostly what everyone aims for) are just very meh. This was completely dissimilar to my experience at Gen, which was nothing short of fantastic. 

There was no reservations, but we were quickly put onto a waitlist when we arrived, which did have texting available indicating that you should return to the restaurant to be seated. So my friend and I promptly went across the street to a tavern where I introduced them to Russian River Brewing. We had a quick beer and enjoyed good conversation. Before we had even finished our beers, we were being summoned back to the restaurant - an encouraging sign, honestly, because we had quite a few people in front of us in line (don’t be discouraged if you go and have to wait, it moves fast). We finished our beers, returned to the restaurant, and we’re seated upstairs quickly. 

I mostly handed the reins over to my date for the evening, honestly. I knew that this was their local spot, so I wanted to embrace that element of cultural influence and exercise minimum influence over a place I knew nothing about. However, I made two separate suggestions during the course of our meal, and I’m really glad that I did - my friend was so happy and excited when we received these items, which were fucking excellent. We’ve been talking about it all weekend and they’re already telling me that they’re going to go back next week to get those items again (sometimes its good to experience something you’re familiar with through the eyes of a stranger)! I also want to give the wonderful servers at Gen a HUGE shout-out for giving us a free serving of the barbecued ribs, which are pictured below - service by these guys and gals was amazing, so make sure you tip them if you go.

We chose the all you can eat option, and it didn’t disappoint - it was seriously all you can eat. The servers were very attentive about switching out the grill, and came by every 5 minutes or so to ask if we needed any more food. I had just gone on a hike, so I was ravenous - I ate an entire bowl of salad, all of the sides (sweet corn mashed potato salad, kimchi, spicy pickles, radishes, and I think that’s it) and kept going on all of the meat even after my buddy tapped out. Before I spill on what my favorite items were, I want to say that the quality of the meat was tier 1 compared against any all you can eat KBBQ experience I’ve ever had. Seriously - all of the items were to die for. However, the stand-outs of the crowd: spicy squid, spicy pork belly, and spicy bulgogi. I have no fucking idea what’s in that marinade they use for the spicy shit, but it blows anything else I’ve ever had in my life away. I wouldn’t even necessarily call it spicy, although it is - it’s also sweet, savory, and tolerable. It is the perfect complement to ANY protein. Like, they tried to explain to me what was in the sauce, but I don’t think I could ever replicate it. Rest assured, I have plenty of ideas about what I would marinate in it - and I will try it, but it was so pure and beautiful that I know I couldn’t ever possibly hope to replicate it. 

We had a full complement of other meats, too - all of which were fantastic. We had Hawaiian steak, with fresh grilled pineapple. It was perfectly teriyaki in all of the ways you would expect it to be. The grill marks on the pineapple were fire! We also had a couple of servings of brisket - which I usually don’t like, but have found that when shaved and grilled Korean style is really good. The surprise appetizer of Korean barbecued ribs was seriously to die for - fatty, meaty, saucy, and grilled. I could practically taste the Maillard reaction wrecking my face. At some point, I noticed that my friend stopped eating, which kind of shocked me if I’m being honest. I devoured everything in sight and kept going. It was such a bizarre experience - I think that my body was really crazing nutrition as a result of my exercise regime, because there was never a point that I got full (until we got back to where we were staying - then I went comatose).

My only regret about the whole experience was dressing up nice; and to be fair, my buddy warned me about this in advance (recommended that I shower when I got home). Everything smelled like barbecued meat - my skin, my face, my clothes, my jacket - even my pants, for fucks sake. Next time, I’m 100% wearing jammies, because fuck that - no one wants to smell residual meat after stuffing their fat fucking faces with it for two hours!

While I would say this experience is best done in-person - I was impressed with Gen’s complement of COVID friendly options. They have a full and dedicated take-out menu for anyone that craves meat deliciousness. They are also on DoorDash! A huge plus, particularly because some of the places I’ve been recently aren’t. I’ve changed tactics a bit, and am putting the Depression Oatmeal rating at the top of each entry (for now), but this is largely why I rated them so highly!

I had a wonderful evening and I intend on visiting my friend in upper Los Angeles county again soon - both for the company and the food. 

[depression-oatmeal]

The Swinging Door, Tustin, CA

The Swinging Door, Tustin, California (in lack of a proper website, here is their Instagram link: The Swinging Door Saloon's (@theswingingdoor) profile on Instagram)

The Swinging Door Saloon's (@theswingingdoor) profile on Instagram

5,850 Followers, 1,071 Following, 1,197 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from The Swinging Door Saloon (@...

A couple of things before I jump right into it; I’ve been drawn to this place for some time. Admittedly, for the wrong reasons (I think). Realistically, though, since I got my DUI, I’ve really had to dial things back a bit with happy hours that extend further than 20 miles. I’m a year past it now, all of my privileges have been restored – but California has a zero-tolerance rule for anyone that’s received one for 3 years after the date of conviction. Zero tolerance means you cannot have any alcohol in your system at any time while driving a vehicle during the 3 year timespan, regardless of whether or not your driving privileges are restored. I could sit here and tell you how badly it’s sucked since I got one. Or, I could tell you that regardless of the reasons I received one, I’ve really embraced keeping the hundreds of thousands of people driving around me each day safe through keeping myself safe. This is the reality of what’s happened, and a hard lesson learned.

While that’s neither here nor there, even though this place is the perfect definition of country dive bar, that’s not the whole wrong reason(s) I’m talking about. The sad truth is that I really don’t even know if I have them all right, for a plethora of reasons. These include 1) memory block because of trauma 2) Fear of seeing something I don’t want to 3) Driving restrictions (who goes to a bar if they’re not going to drink or square-dance?) 4) Physical distance between this place 5) Deleted text messages or 5) Out of respect. As a result of rare circumstances and fate, it just so happens that I am now in this area on the same day each week, regardless of whether I want to be, for self-help. So tonight, I finally said fuck all the bullshit reasons and went, because the perfect storm had finally arrived.

I loved it as soon as I walked in. I sat down at the bar and while I had to wait, it wasn’t because the bartenders were inattentive – they were sharing an important conversation that I got bits and pieces of. Once I got served, I ordered two waters and a double vodka-soda. It was a good time for me to focus on finding the two books that I had been recommended to read. The bartender recommended that I order food; ratings and my selective memory didn’t really encourage me to do so. I was honestly just trying to decompress, but it was late and I knew I was going to do heavy lifting when I got back to my AirBnB. So I rolled the dice, and ordered the vegetarian burger with the green salad ($13 dollars).

I don’t usually talk about price point; but I’m going to here, to be fair the readers. I ordered a double tito’s and soda – it was $18 dollars. I was rather taken aback by this; most of the time, I pay between $8-$14 for the same drink, at other bars. Additionally, most of the actual food on the menu ranges from $11 - $20 dollars. You can get bar snacks, of course, which range from $6 - $10 dollars. I guess I just wasn’t prepared to pay that for bar food, but regardless, I will say that the dish pictured above didn’t disappoint. Just be prepared to let your wallet hurt, especially if you want drinks.

The veggie burger was fucking exquisite; the lettuce, onions, and tomatoes were all extremely crisp and flavorful. The veggie patty itself was a generic black-bean variant with a ton of flavor and excellent grill marks (probably sourced from Costco or the like, if I had to take a guess). The brioche bun was a fantastic addition as well. I don’t really know why I enjoyed a vegetarian meal this evening. It wasn’t anything to do with health – I just felt like eating veggies, I suppose. I suspect, personally, that it has something to do with the fact that I recently incorporated weightlifting into my exercise regime. I felt the need for protein, but didn’t want chicken or beef. Beans seemed like a good substitute. The best part, though? The best part of this burger was the way that the vegan cheese and the red-pepper paste PERFECTLY complemented each other and the bean patty. I’ve never had such a combination on a burger before, and it did not disappoint my taste buds. The salad and balsamic vinaigrette was also fantastic – imagine my surprise at getting the side salad and receiving what seemed like a pound of greens?

I didn’t eat the food there, largely because I didn’t even know if I was going to get food; I got it to go. Kudos for them trying to do it right, in this day and age – perfectly separated ingredients, plenty of napkins, and a fork and knife. You don’t realize it most of the time, but when living on your own these assets are fucking invaluable. By the time I got my food and had finished my drink, enough time had passed that I had zero alcohol in my system, so I got in my car and left. My biggest complaint about this place is also it’s most wonderful asset: the food is really good, but at the end of the day it’s just another dive bar. They don’t make their money on food. They make their money on the endless expensive ass drinks the pour. So, naturally, they do not have a website, nor do they cater to the natural pandemic eater – you have to call or go in to place an order to go. I can’t really fault their business model because they are thriving, but I do have to wonder – many of the reviews indicate that the food is amazing. Imagine what kind of money they’d be making otherwise? Who knows.

Ultimately, on the Depression Oatmeal scale, these guys get a 24/30, and only because I’m rating them on their accessibility to eat. I’ll come here again, given the right mind-set and company. I won’t come here again hoping to find myself in the right company.

[depression-oatmeal]

“What is grief, really, if not love ever-endearing?” – Vision, WandaVision

Today was a fucked up a day – I legit could not wait to get back to the safety of my AirBnB just to write this damn entry – it’s a show of the times. What, you might find yourself asking, causes this blogger to feel like they’re having a bad day? It’s rather simple – dreams. I’ve been a lucid dreamer for the past 16 years of my life – maybe one day we’ll talk about it.

I recently changed the schedule for my weekly therapy session from Wednesdays at 1400 to Thursdays at 1615. Recently, as in today was the first time in over a month and a half that I didn’t have a weekly therapy session that will take place tomorrow. Luckily for me, my ex-fiance was wrapped up in routine work and her side hustle, so I had plans to return to the condo for several reasons; primarily, to see my furbabies, to do some laundry, and prepare the final meal for this entry. All of which were completed, and more, if not in the order I would have preferred. It totally works with this entry though, so hang in there.

Chaos is beautiful, regardless of the havoc it wrecks on our lives daily. As flawed as it is, Murphy’s Law has ultimately shaped and guided my life. This is ironic, because I disagree so wholeheartedly in the principle of unplanned chaos that I forget to plan for variables in “the plan”. It came as no surprise to me today when I got the text at 1630 indicating that I had less time in my homestead than anticipated; I simply ignored the very real possibility that this could happen, and made other plans hoping that it didn’t.  It occurs when we least expect it - sometimes it’s good, and at other times, it’s terribly inconvenient. Such was the case when I got the notification on my phone reminding me of a weekend long ago that I spent in San Diego. So, I found myself being rushed in the last 2 hours to get everything done but ultimately did, even if I had to unceremoniously usher my buddy out the door. 

Yeah, it was a long day, but goddamn if the fucking food didn’t hit.

I invited my lifelong friend over because it so happened that they were doing a farmer’s market nearby, which I only was able to deduce because they wanted to come see me get inked for the first time next Wednesday (the market is a weekly occurrence). So naturally, I knew I had the condo to myself, and since I’m not allowed visitors in my AirBnB, I wanted to take advantage of my time. The proverbial “you want your cake and to eat it too”, if you will. I was not disappointed, because I was graced with fucking deliciousness on a whole new level. My buddy old pal brought oysters.

From what I can deduce, the farmer’s market where he got these is here, time and location:

https://www.orangecoast.com/guide/shopping/tustin-farmers-market-wednesday-9-a-m-to-1-p-m/. Going a step further, Dry Dock’s website “about me” is here: https://drydockfish.com/about/. So, before I get into the quality of the oysters (sourced from the Pacific Ocean and North American coastline) I want to say that this business gets mad Depression Oatmeal credit – not only do they serve local farmers market, but if you don’t want to go, you don’t have to – they’ll deliver this shit straight to your door. That’s at least a +3. All for as nominal fee – check it out, soon.

Once I knew my buddy was bringing oysters, my brain started cranking. There’s this place in Cambria, California called “The Sea Chest/Oyster Bar” that does prepared oysters called “Devils on Horseback” and the memory was calling me – they’re delicious. It also so happens that last week, shortly before the final split, my college roommate gave me homemade kimchi the day it was prepared. I also knew from my venture to the condo yesterday that there was a nearly full bottle of pinot grigio in the fridge from Venezia that had already been opened, so I got to thinking: what if I did this, with an Asian-American flair? Before I go any further, I am compelled to share this with you: https://seachestoysterbar.com/food. That is a direct link to the menu of The Sea Chest, which shows you exactly what ingredients were in the original dish that inspired me. Without further ado, I present to you (unexpectedly) our oyster dishes for the evening: a half dozen raw oysters, served with fresh horseradish, lemon, and frank’s hot sauce + what I’m now calling Agma’s Ride (Korean pronunciation of “demon/devil”).

I can literally only say this; not only did I learn how to shuck an oyster for the first time with free oyster knives obtained from one of my master’s cohorts (Thank you Wow Kitchen Co! WOW KITCHENCO) but the food was fucking amazing. I have literally never been more impressed with myself as an amateur chef nor more grateful for the abundance of fresh and locally sourced or made ingredients to use. Seriously – if you do nothing else, please for the love of god try this recipe:

·      6 oysters, shucked, sauteed in kimchi and pinot grigio mix

·      4 ounces white wine (preferably pinot grigio)

·      2 ounces of fried bacon, save the bacon fat, garnish at end

·      10 ounces of kimchi, sauteed in bacon fat

·      1 ounce of freshly grated parmesan

·      ½ teaspoon of balsamic glaze

·      Texas Toast (literally any variety)

I will let this shit speak for itself; the Pacific Ocean is a fucking wonderful place, really.

Suddenly, my celebration of bluefin tuna seemed meager – the oysters were a welcome and wonderful surprise. I did push forward, however, and damn am I glad that I did! The recipe for what I’m about the show you, roughly, is as follows

-Brussels Sprouts

o   1 ounce fried bacon

o   1/3 package sweet and spicy pecans from Trader Joes

o   1 leftover container of brown sugar butter from some brunch place in Orange County

o   6 ounces of brussels sprouts

o   1 tablespoon olive oil

o   1 tablespoon parmesan cheese (Kraft) – for salt

-Tuna Sammy

o   6 ounces bluefin steak, seasoned with salt, pepper, and orange habanero jelly (air-fryer, for 6 minutes)

o   1 piece of san luis sourdough, cut in half

o   1 tablespoon butter, smeared on each side of sourdough bread

o   1 package chic-fil-a sauce, smeared on each OTHER side of bread

o   3 mini bells, red, sauteed with Crisco

o   1/6 yellow onion, sauteed with Crisco

o   1-ounce fried bacon

o   1 teaspoon sriracha, smashed between the tuna and the peppers

o   1 spicy hot dill pickle, any variety, sliced (directly on chic-fil-a sauce and under all other ingredients)

This sandwich was so fucking amazing, and healthy too, when served with the sprouts. It clocked in at just under 900 calories when said and done, and was a massive protein bomb for anyone that’s been seriously working out this year, or last. It did leave me wanting more. You should try it.

I think that’s about all I want to write tonight. I really hope that you’ve taken something away from the abundance of deliciousness just waiting in the Pacific Ocean to be had. Seriously – go out, go fish, or shop at your local farmer’s market. This meal, this whole days’ worth of meals – 29/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale.

[depression-oatmeal]

The Pacific Ocean, Day 1

This entry is brought to you by a surprise sustainable fisherman of the Pacific Coast. The location of this restaurant is: Cortez Banks, Pacific Ocean, off the coast of California, USA.

It might seem odd, right? That’s not a real place that you can go and eat at. Or is it? Today’s entry is a two-part series celebrating the art of sportfishing sustainably and preparing great shit overall, especially if you’re on a budget with calories. I’m particularly proud with how imaginative I’ve become with cooking and/or preparing blue fin tuna. The best part about it? I eat a very small amount of what I catch – most of it goes to families in need of food and more particularly, healthy protein. Also? You won’t find a single photo of me with a fish on any dating app – it’s not something I broadcast openly.

We can go back and forth all day about sportfishing and whether or not it’s something that people should do. Particularly with something like tuna, which has predominantly been the largest source of protein from the ocean in the past 50 or 60 years. However, those of us in California are particularly blessed with an enormous and booming bluefin tuna population and strict laws on when and how we harvest them. This protects our industry from a ton of the overfishing you see commercially that primarily occurs in the Atlantic Ocean with the bluefin population that resides there. I’m not here to tell you that overfishing isn’t happening, nor am I here to tell you that 99% of sportfishing isn’t conducted by trigger-happy republicans looking for a trophy wife of the sea. I’m just saying that some of us are really good at and enjoy fishing, and that we throw 90% of our catch back into the ocean to preserve future populations. I wasn’t particular good at this during my first season of sportfishing in 2018; but I quickly learned that the big fish of 30 pounds can realistically sustain a family of 2 for an entire year (that eats fish once every couple of weeks).

My grandpa is a legendary fisherman. I’m not going to post his name, or his stats, out of respect for his privacy and retirement, especially at his age (80 or near it). It was always part of my bucket list to go on him with one of his legendary 3-day tuna trips, just to say that I did something meaningful with him before he died. Unfortunately, fishing is really expensive in the ocean, for a variety of reason – but mostly because of the laws and tackle involved when chasing big game fish. At any rate, I finally had earned enough time off and pay to finally get involved at the age of 28 or so. I was so happy that I did it. I’ve learned so much about fishing and more importantly, about my grandpa and his asshole friends in that time. It’s time that I’ll never get back, honestly, but wasn’t ready to chase until very recently. I can tell you this much: I have been the happiest and the saddest while on the Pacific Queen (our boat), I have never failed to catch fish, but I’ve never taken any catch larger than I can eat or share in a year.

So, living on my own and very near my goal of 74 pounds lost in 6 months, I decided to take the opportunity to live on a diet of fish when cooking – whatever that meant (for perspective: today, I weighed 214 pounds, down from 274 in June 2021). As with everything, though, I’m not okay with that being boring, so I pledged to be as creative with preparing whatever fish I was eating that night as I was in any meal I cook. I hadn’t had bluefin tuna raw in quite some time, so I decided to do a poke that I could get behind – my own.

The picture I’ve shared here is only half of the bluefin that I prepared in total. I had anticipated doing a bit more tomorrow (serving-wise) but turns out, my ex-fiance doesn’t hate tuna all that much, so now I have a single filet to deal with dinner tomorrow. I digress – this is my take on poke. I must say, I’ve eaten poke sparingly in my life – I’ve probably eaten it only 3 or 4 times, and only eaten it in a restaurant once. Going back to the sustainable fishing thing – I’ve always felt bad feeding into the drive for fish, considering there are many countries globally that use it as a primary source of protein, and the US is generally shit when it comes to these things.

At any rate – this was by fire and away the best fucking poke I’ve ever had. Fresh-caught. Sustainable. Leftover ingredients. It legit does not get better than that. Adopting a no-waste mentality has really helped me in my journey to become an amateur chef; I’ve also learned that ingredients alone that are trash can be gold when combined into a larger dish. Enter, my poke bowl:

1.     10 ounces of Pacific Bluefin Tuna

2.     1 cup of soy rice (2 tablespoons soy sauce, 1.5 cup water, 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes, 1 teaspoon onion powder, 1 teaspoon cayenne powder) prepared in a rice cooker

3.     1 pack of Chic-Fil-A’s avocado ranch dressing (poke marinade)

4.     1 pack of Chic-Fil-A’s buffalo sauce (garnish)

5.     1 tablespoon sesame seeds (garnish)

6.     1 teaspoon red pepper flakes (garnish)

7.     1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar (poke marinade)

8.     ¼ cup soy sauce (poke marinade)

9.     1 tablespoon of Julian Habenero Orange Jam (made locally in Julian, poke marinade)

10.  1 teaspoon hot sesame oil (poke marinade)

11.  ¼ cup lime juice (poke marinade)

I don’t need to tell you anything else. You’ll figure it out. If you want fresh, sashimi grade bluefin – you let me know. I’ll happily send you a couple of pounds for free (you pay for shipping though). I would eat this 7 days a week if I had to; it’s not the worst thing in the world for you, especially considering you drain all of the poke marinade. It’s a great, low-calorie and tasty dish that is (allegedly) a great weight loss aid. You don’t lost any of the nutrients that you would normally lose by cooking the damn fish. It’s a win-win situation, and perfect for someone that has zero access to most major cooking utensils. I give this dish a 28/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale; and I only subtracted 2 because I can’t afford to prepare this on a pandemic-level friendly scale.

[depression-oatmeal]

Stadium Brewing, Aliso Viejo, CA

Ok, ok - I know what you’re thinking. “What the fuck is up with all of the breweries?” Stadium Brewing, Aliso Viejo, California is a gem, for its own reasons. Here’s a link to their website: https://stadiumbrewco.com/

Well, if you must know, there are very few dog-friendly places you can go in Orange County because of the food laws, and it just so happens to be a day that I have my doggo (who is cute AF, fight me). I really wanted to watch a quarter or two of the Green Bay Packers vs. Minnesota Vikings game and this is one of the rare spots in Orange County with huge outdoor seating (great for a pandemic) that allows dogs. There are a bounty of TVs both inside and out, and if you stay long enough, you might just catch a buzz.

I really have to applaud Stadium. They are one of the most middling restaurants (honestly) in south county, and an even more subpar brewery. However - the endless lack of amenities and scarcity of sports bars makes this a football lovers paradise on any Sunday in the last 6 months of the year. There is never a lack of foot traffic. There is a big beautiful park right next to it with a fountain that works (most of the time). Across the walkway is a buffalo wild wings for all of you uncultured heathens like myself. All of it is a dog’s paradise. So I took my biddie there for a cocktail and a snack.

There is one thing entirely unique about this place on their menu: a blueberry lager with real blueberries and a dash of extract for flavor. It is one of the most refreshing beverages I’ve ever had the pleasure of drinking. I’ve (unfortunately) literally drank two pitchers of this shit on more than one occasion. It is the perfect porch-lounger; not heavy, full of flavor, and low on ABV. Bonus? It looks great, too. I’ve included a picture, along with a vodka soda that was sadly confused about which citrus fruit it wanted to be. 

At any rate, I wanted a quiet place to write and to be able to watch the game, so there I was, also hungry. The Depression Oatmeal was real on this Sunday. I was living out of a hotel and returning to work after an 11 day scheduled PTO in which I left my ex and found myself utterly lost and confused on the day after New Year’s. I was going to have roommates the next day for the first time in over 10 years. I’d lost some good friends in the aftermath, and maybe even something more. So, naturally, I ordered Stadium’s homemade potato chips and beer cheese.

I want to say that these are easily the best chips I’ve ever had, and the beer cheese is a really nice complement. They are entirely flavored with sea salt and truffle extract, which really gives them more of a garlic flavor than anything. The best part is that you get all of the flavor and none of the gas! They were really, really good. Perfect to soak up a vodka soda and a blueberry beer while watching the Packers utterly destroy the Vikings (I’m not from Wisconsin, but am a lifelong Packers fan). They’re not heavy with oil, and they keep their crunch for at least an hour (the duration of my enjoyment). Honestly, this and the carne asada flatbread (not pictured, not ordered) are the only two things on their menu that I would consistently eat with satisfaction. If you do decide to give this place a shot - you just need to remember the following:

1. Blueberry Lager

2. Stadium Chips

3. Carne Asada Flatbread

If you do this, you might be able to stave off the Depression Oatmeal on a Sunday Funday. Hell - you might even come back. Overall, Stadium gets a 24/30 on the Depression Oatmeal scale. 

I haven’t rated them higher, because some of the food items are just ok, and other than the blueberry lager, the rest of their beer is underwhelming. They get bonus points for staying open the entire pandemic and offering a bottomless mimosa brunch on football Sunday. The biggest letdown, though, is that you can’t currently order their food delivery, and there isn’t a platform (other than just calling them) to easily conduct take-out orders. However, this place is great for dog lovers and football fanatics alike - so I keep coming back. Thank you for your business, Stadium!