Ranbot

forever a victim of myself

[n1ceratt]

Join followers of the apocalypse, we got hot doctor(s)

Arcade Pin up poster!

you can now pay me 20 dollars and I'll draw your favs as pin up poster/j

[staylucky38]

a few of my very favorite friends

[qualityrain]

they need more candy cane

shuake week day 3: social media / cosplay / rescue mission

@aphantomdweeb

[syringaledraws]

some more vampire joshnekus

[depsidase]

[p1x1x]

tiny snippet thats gonna be forever wip, bit of pre-game envy (appearance/body aspect particularly) whatever vvv

[pawberri]

I saw some snippet of a callout post for an autistic trans woman where they list social faux pas she committed, and I think we allistic people should all feel 100x more ashamed of not telling people in the moment how we feel about what they're doing. I think its extremely evil and cruel to not only lie to an autistic person and blame them for it but also to feel justified shaming them for your behavior. And it's currently the social norm to do that

[pawberri]

Everytime we as allistic people sit and force a smile or sigh and act subtly grumpy or otherwise lie to an autistic person's face about how we feel about what they did it is in fact Our Fault that we are enduring whatever the autistic person is daring to try and share with us. You can literally say something out loud directly. The literal structure of our social existence will always traumatize autistic people unless you can give a fuck enough to consider it isn't their fault that you didn't communicate with them

[pawberri]

Even I couldn't understand this until my wife was in tears because I had internalized the idea that it was her fault that people were uncomfortable in a conversation where no one told her they were uncomfortable and blamed her for it. Allistic people punish autistic people for so many Percieved slights, or even decide together afterward what exactly the slight was and then make their collective judgment behind the autistic persons back. Not only do we get the benefit of communicating nonverbally through obtuse social cues the autistic person can't parce, we then get to say that we weren't going behind their back because we all did those social cues they are too disabled to understand Right in front of them. No, what you did was choose to suppress your feelings and then reap the social benefits of being in on the discomfort.

[guerrillatech]

[hekatontarch]

[queertail]

The site is '12ft Ladder' found here:

12ft – Hop any paywall

Show me a 10ft paywall, I’ll show you a 12ft ladder.

[sola-whumping]

Reblogging this on ALL my blogs because holy shit is it useful

[asonr]

Autistic spaces are getting so much more hostile towards people with low empathy, and it sucks

There was a subreddit I really liked, people were chill, and then there was a sudden influx of people making posts like ‘Autistic people have empathy! Saying we don’t makes us seem like monsters! Thats not a symptom!’ And people making posts explaining that no, actually, some of us do have low empathy got attacked and told they were wrong or ableist? And it sucks, because its just so hard to find a place to exist where you can be seen as not evil? I don’t know, it just hurts a lot to be told that

[renthebarbarian]

[hamletthedane]

Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)

[pathologising]

[popcorn-joints]

Questions to ask yourself if you're considering you might be Autistic

Taken from a thread by Jules Rylan on Twitter

these are just straight copied and pasted from the thread so the way they're written jumps around. categories are to break up the wall of text a little bit and appease the organization demon in my brain. autistic people feel free to add more!

Social

do you feel like you have to monitor everything you say/do?

do people seem to be on a different wavelength than you in social situations? like they’re getting answers you’re not?

are all of your friends autistic/adhd or neurodivergent? you probably are too, we attract each other

do you know what you are saying when you speak and is it being understood, or are you mimicking others based on patterns you recognised in conversation?

Have you felt you hadn’t had your own personality since childhood? Do you feel as if you’re an accumulation of traits from people you admire or notice do well / better than you in social situations?

Since isolation started, have you noticed your symptoms are more intense since you don’t have to mask in public as often as you did for work, school, or social events?

Do people constantly misread my tone and intentions?

Have I spent hours analyzing how people talk/move?

Do i practice what to say in preparation before phone calls & other social situations?

Have i spent my whole life feeling out of place?

Do I blame a lifetime of social difficulties on introversion even though that isn't what introversion means?

Do you consistently feel like everyone else was born with a guide to life and interacting with others and that somehow you didn't get your copy?

do people constantly think i am mean or rude when i think im not doing anything wrong?

did someone ever ask you if youre a foreigner when you talked to them in your **shared** first language

how do I feel about "linear" conversations? do I get confused/frustrated when people move on from a topic and refuse to return to it? how do I feel about small talk? do I find it easier to talk to autistic people than I do with allistics?

do people accuse you of being a arrogant, aggressive, of speaking emotionlessly or being a know-it-all, even though you know you’re not? do they ask you to ‘change that tone’ or ‘stop being so pedantic’?

Do you not get jokes/sarcasm sometimes?

Do I show sympathy for people going through difficult times by talking about something similar that I experienced?

Do you ask a question and get an answer that has nothing to do with what you asked? Do people infer things you haven't said bc you expect them to take your words at face value? -- Related, after having done this for years, do you rewrite that email 27 times to ensure its clarity?

Does objectively clear verbiage sound like gibberish to you?

Have I ever felt like I speak a completely different language from the people around me, that people often don’t believe what I say or seem to have their own secret code only I don’t know? Does it often feel like I’m the only one who says what they really mean?

Do you actually enjoy solitary activity more or have you out of self-preservation just given up trying not to?

Sensory

are you highly sensitive in a way that others don’t understand?

Write down allll the weird habits you have. Not just the autistic-seeming ones, ALL of them. Now look at the list and think “How many of these are just ways of dealing with sensory issues?”

are you more tired or in pain after experiencing certain sensations?

Are you hyper sensitive to the emotions around you and feel other’s feelings intensely + subconsciously yet have a hard time identifying your own emotions?

When you touch a certain fabric/ surface do you cringe and then spend 10 minutes wiping your hands to get the feeling of it off?

As a child was lunch your least favorite part of the day because the noise in the cafeteria was painful?

Have your parents ever commented about how "sensitive" you were as a child?

do people keep telling you you're overreacting?

does the thought or experience of certain sounds or textures give me physical pain?

do i often find i need to repress the urge to move or make noise?

do I hear the air moving when no one else does? Do I hear the lights, the wires in the walls, or any electrical appliances humming that other people don't?

Do you cut all the tags out of your clothing bc you can't stop noticing them and they make you feel itchy as fuck?

do people think you're overly sensitive to foods or picky?

do you/did you hate when foods touched each other on the plate or got mixed together?

Do you need to sit down and dont do anything for a while to ground yourself?

Are some movements/words soothing?

Do you echo noises/voice tones/words without noticing?

Is there a part of you that hates wearing these respiratory masks bc of how it feels on your face and a part of you that loves not having to act with the lower half of your face when interacting with people while you're wearing a mask?

Is your fashion sense more about tagless, seamless clothes than it is about looking "good?" Do you find yourself wearing things that make you feel almost naked (soft fabrics) and prefer to go barefoot?

Are you /actually/ doing that because you think it’s funny? Is there a possibility it could be stimming, physically or otherwise?

Emotion Regulation

Do you space out a lot, to the point it interferes with stuff and is noted in your records?

Do you have mood swings that are tied to things happening around you or to you?

do you have breakdowns over seemingly insignificant things?

When you get into something and it makes you happy, is it all you can think about, all you dedicate your time and money to, and is it difficult to consume content that isn’t related to that interest?

Do you often get so lost in your disassociations that you run to places so you can get rid of all emotional overload?

Does plans change make me anxious?

Do you have specific things that you use that you get extremely upset if you run out or they break? Especially if you can’t find more?

have people ever told you that you "overreact" when something changes/"doesn't go your way"?

as a child, do you remember being very upset when you had to move desks or the layout of the classroom changed??

do you have a hard time explaining your emotions? do you feel like you have different emotions from everyone else, or wonder if you have no emotions at all?

When you're tired, frustrated, or overwhelmed, are you less able to perform emotions the way others expect you to? Do they accuse you of being passive aggressive, cold, uncaring, or not listening based on your face, body, and voice instead of what you actually feel, do, or say?

Are you watching the same few shows repeatedly because the thought of breaking out of that routine and trying a new show scares you?

Body/posture/etc.

did you walk with raptor hands since you were born

Do I walk on my toes a lot just cuz (or because I don't like the feeling of the ground under my feet? (could be either)

are you constantly being told to work on your posture?

were you told to use a pencil grip when you were younger because you held pencils "weird"

Do you misinterpret every cue your body gives you for pain, hunger, or bathroom needs?

Do I have trouble running? Does the burn go away?

Do i shut down or lose control or become unable to speak when i get overwhelmed?

In elementary did you have a hard time on balance beams? were you very clumsy and constantly tripping over yourself? do you tie your shoes very slowly?

do you forget when you're hungry/thirsty, and only realize you need to eat/drink when you feel like you're going to collapse?

do you spend way too much effort analysing others walks and pace and trying to mimic them?

do you feel alien in your body when youre suddenly hyper aware of your movement and no matter how much you change it up it feels like everyone is looking at you weird?

Misc.

Do you feel non-human and don’t know why?

Do you find yourself never being able to meet the workload standard of a NT Person?

"do you often miss the trees because of the forest?" "feel like small details don't matter but broad systems are intuitively obvious?" "do you often jump to conclusions or see patterns that aren't there, and then have to backtrack?"

Do you have trouble perceiving someone as 'having authority', such as a manager at work, a doctor, or even a police officer, unless you know them personally and at least somewhat care about them?

Is it a useful label for you? That is, do you feel like it helps you better understand your life, or that it helps you make sense of things you do that others don't seem to do?

do you find it easy to understand animals and feel as if this comes naturally to you compared to being able to do the same with other humans? do you ever find yourself imitating the body language of an animal such as your pet when you arent with them?

Is it common for everyone always being so nervous or near a panic attack when they have to do something involving strangers - like simply talking to them? Keeping eye contact nearly impossible.

Do I need at least 24 hours' advance notice to make plans, especially social plans?

Do you have no trouble following rules (as long as your physical/mental state permits) as long as they serve a useful purpose for society/the group (NOT only for YOURSELF), but also have no trouble ignoring them if they make no sense/inflict harm (again to society, not yourself)?

[shelbys-advice-blog]

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. [phone]

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. [phone]

Relationships Australia Tel. [phone]

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. [phone]

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

[brihann-deactivated20220622]

Reblogging for myself

[bridgyrose]

reblogging for those that follow me that may be starting to move out

[stygian-river]

"I'm Feeling Bad, Why??" A Flowchart For Autistic (Alexithymic) People Who Have To Deal With This Stupid Question

(Please click image for better view)

I'm branching out (ha) in my Flowchart exploration to address something I have difficulty with on my best days. Why do I feel bad???

When you know why you're feeling bad, you can work to feel better or prevent yourself from feeling bad the next time. Hopefully this helps someone.

Okay for allistics to reblog!

[ryoubakvra]

very heterosexual of you, kaiba

[deranvier]

[deranvier]