"you are not as damned as you think you are"

ramblings / writing / quotes+poetry /anime / yuri + yaoi brainrot

[dersandmannkommt]

fuuuuuck the brevity of life bro. "the human mind can't comprehend eternity" dude that's a breeze compared to talking to someone for the last time and feeling the empty pocket in the space they used to take up. in putting things off until they are entirely out of reach. in holding your pet for the last time and coming home from work to find them. just. gone. gone? they're gone? just like that? but I barely got to know them?

[dersandmannkommt]

I grieved my mantis that I only knew for a few months for days. I grieved my cat that I knew for years for days. I cry for could haves and would haves with my parents that are still alive. there is never enough time. and its always worth it

[dersandmannkommt]

ive been trying to work off of my antidepressants because i want to be able to stand on my own two feet and I thought I could do it. I really thought I could handle myself. but my worst trigger set off my ocd and I feel like im drowning again. I went from 20 to 15 mg. that's nothing. I dont want to imagine how I would've reacted if I was unmedicated. how do I go on like this?

[angelofweirdness]

I love when people write Cas as the creature he is!

I got no asks for fanarts yet, but im still hoping writers will find my blog! If you also just likes a fic very much and want to recommend, and I read and like it, it can turn out to be an art for a post! (+ a good fic recommendation lol)

[sharpmouth]

watching supernatural for the first time in your twenties as a longtime tumblr user is wild because i know a lot of the main beats and how the show ends but i feel that people neglected to mention the episode where dean winchester kills hitler or when lucifer possessed the president of the united states. everyone was correct about castiel being a fag though.

[corrupt-touch]

Cas’ completely clean hand gripping Dean’s bloody wrist because he won’t hurt Dean back will never not make me feel crazy

[thinker-belll]

via @petrichara

a very overwhelming father's day:)

[dersandmannkommt]

I translate all of my emotions into art. it helps me process everything, good and bad. but when my cat died, it felt as though I was a house, sanded down. every time I picked up a pen, I just started to recount what happened. I had nothing beautiful to write, I could not make it into something soothing. it wasn't just something that happened, it's something that's still happening and I can't write about an active ordeal. how can i pick up a pen if one hand is on the wheel, and the other hand is in his cat carrier? im still in the car, there's still time. im stil in the car, and I just want to make it to the urgent vet in time

[dersandmannkommt]

sometimes when I'm playing rdr2 I pretend arthur is a butch and when he says "good boy" to his male horse, he's talking to his also he/him lesbian butch lover

[dersandmannkommt]

alright fine I pretend he's talking to me

[cavconcussion]

swapping our flannel shirts. wearing each other’s boots. switching our pillows so we smell like each other. bringing you breakfast. a house with a bathtub in the backyard and a garden full of flowers. reading, curled up into one another. woodsmoke curling from our chimney. you braiding my hair in the bath. me buzzing yours fortnightly over the sink. cutting firewood together. rubbing the knots out of each other’s muscles. huddling together under quilts when it rains.

[dersandmannkommt]

trauma is so weird. like. I'm still in the car. There's still time. I just have to drive faster and I can make it. im still in the car. there's still time. damn this red light. im still in the car. there's still time. there's still time. there's still time.

[dersandmannkommt]

grief is like licking the empty space where a tooth used to be

[dersandmannkommt]

"put to sleep" is such a gentle way of saying "died". I like it. my kitty did not die. he is just sleeping. goodnight, baby.

[dersandmannkommt]

I just bought a new mouse pad and he immediately clawed into it. I planned to return it. but I'm glad to have a piece of his presence.

you were here, I loved you

you will always be here, I will always love you

[dersandmannkommt]

"put to sleep" is such a gentle way of saying "died". I like it. my kitty did not die. he is just sleeping. goodnight, baby.

[dersandmannkommt]

when I was very young I thought I was the antichrist and that no amount of guilt could save me and all good deeds would be laced with my bad touch

[dersandmannkommt]

I figured that the antichrist had to be born. which means it was once a child; light. and it was doomed to evil. and my empathy for this being could only be offered by a being of similar nature. only something horrible could weep for something horrible. I was something horrible. I was evil. or something evil was born along with me, sitting and waiting in my belly

[dersandmannkommt]

when I was very young I thought I was the antichrist and that no amount of guilt could save me and all good deeds would be laced with my bad touch

[beybuniki]

mwah!

[beybuniki]

[dersandmannkommt]

tired of the cutesy lesbian propaganda. less picnics and pillow fight and braiding hair and more perverts

[dersandmannkommt]

more sweat and more teeth

[dersandmannkommt]

"lesbian yearning ❤️" more lesbian starvation and satiation please omfg we're animals too