Hi, I'm Diego

[Inactive] Head of Strex Corp Synergists Inc. here in Desert Bluffs!

[recentgooglesearches]

shutterstock stole my family and if I dont pay the ransom they will be tattooed with the shutterstock watermark

[stallio]

spent about an hour cruising through that glitch town on google street view last night. usually street view glitches are fleeting, isolated things, but this one goes for miles and miles! and the data is from 2007!

[kogla]

Welcome to the Magnus Archives AU

We all need to see these two together! What if Desert Bluffs was one of the failed early attempts of beholding ritual but ended up mixed with the slaughter and the flesh? I bet Elias was connected to StrexCorp somehow , if not one of the bosses.

(This version is the less gore one)

[nikish-sa]

[yuneu]

i see a lot of my black mutuals in pain and struggling mentally lately so if any of you need it here's a post of mental health resources made by a black woman specifically for black people struggling right now... i love you all so much please take care of yourselves

[thatsbelievable]

[heartcoded-deactivated20210417]

Please please please consider donating to the Louisville community bail fund (sponsored by BLM Louisville). As protests start over the murder of Breonna Taylor, police are tear-gassing, shooting, and arresting us. It looks like it's only going to get worse. Please boost.

Louisville Community Bail Fund

Thank you so much! To learn more and to share our manifesto, please take a look here and share: http://bit.ly/LCBFManifesto To build transf

[patrickjmccormack]

[godmutt]

[fallingtowers]

oh no!!!

[fallingtowers]

my ribcage split open, revealing a grotesque, vertical maw, slavering and bleeding, with uneven rows of jagged and splintered ribs for teeth!!!

[fallingtowers]

and prom is TOMORROW!!!

[sugarsweetlemons-deactivated202]

rock that shit babe!!!!

[desert-bluffs-diego]

*layds on you*

*looks a little annoyed, tries to shoo you off*

[normal-horoscopes]

RIPLEY'S BELIEVE IT OR LOSE ANOTHER FINGER

[peregrinesmovie]

[bigcitynormal]

[desert-bluffs-diego]

Where are you? Do you have El?

Kevin! You have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice! I've been trapped in this weird, dark dimension ever since I fell through a portal walking home and--

Wait. I thought you had El?

[mutxnts]

What?? You’ve been trapped in a weird dimension ever since you were walking home?

No, I don’t have her. Miles stole my memories for a while and I was wandering around aimlessly for a few weeks, so I have no idea where she’s at. I was hoping she was with you...

[desert-bluffs-diego]

Yeah, there was a portal right in the middle of the sidewalk, didn't see it until it was too late and ended up walking around in the dark for about two months... *he shudders* Smiling God I can't stand the dark.

Oh... that's not good... do you know who might have her?

[mutxnts]

Woah... well, that’s good that you’re okay now... I think...

I texted Janice, but I haven’t gotten a response back from her yet.

[desert-bluffs-diego]

Thanks, it's good to be back.

Good idea. If El was with anyone, she would be with Janice.

So... how have you been? I know we weren't on the best terms when I got trapped but... we were going to fix it, right?

[mutxnts]

You’ve missed a lot. Did you know that Lauren Mallard has returned?

That’s what I was thinking. Apparently her and the other Girl Scouts started a babysitting service, so I’m hoping El somehow ended up there...

*Kevin lets out a sigh* I don’t know, Diego... It just depends on what you’re going to do to me. Please no more re-education... I worship the Smiling God again, shouldn’t that be enough?

[desert-bluffs-diego]

Yeah, I've been getting some messages now that my phone has signal. Have you talked to her?

Right. I'll find them and see if they have El, I hope they do too...

You do? That's great! Yeah I... I think this can work. You know I never enjoyed the re-education, right?

[mutxnts]

I have. We’ve drawn up designs for a new Joyous Congregation temple that will be built in Night Vale.

I hope so too... Does this make us bad parents for not knowing where she’s at?

Wait... really? I was under the impression that you’ve always really liked it...

[desert-bluffs-diego]

So she's back on our side? Heh, that's good news. Oh, and show me those designs sometime, I'm very interested in that.

Well, we've both had problems recently, maybe it's for the best she wasn't with either of us... but we can think about that when we have her back.

No! I... I just did what was necessary...

[mutxnts]

She seems to have a bit of amnesia, so I’m not entirely sure she knows what side she’s on. Just that she believes in the Smiling God. And I actually have a few pictures of the plans on my phone! Here, take a look! *he hands him his phone with the pictures on it*

That’s true, it’s probably best that she was somewhere else this entire time...

Hmm... okay. If you tell Dr. Grey to not re-educate me, I will give our relationship another chance. Alright?

[desert-bluffs-diego]

Hmm... well she's better than the last time I saw her then, at least. *He looks closely at the plans, and smiles* These look great, Kevin! Are you starting the building soon?

Yeah... you should come with me, to the scouts. It would be good for El to see her dads together, you know?

...That's fair. Dr Grey can always find other people to experiment on, from now on I won't let her near you.

[mutxnts]

Great! The only suggestion Lauren had was to add more teeth. Yes! Miles said he would provide all of the materials for the church as long as we come up with the designs.

That’s a good idea!

Thank you. *he lets out a sigh of relief*

[desert-bluffs-diego]

Good idea! Just, not too close to the entrance. Don't want to scare off anyone from Night Vale before they're even though the door, they don't seem to like teeth for some reason. Oh, and he will? That's great! Reminds me about plans I had for Desert Bluffs...

Ok, I'll find them!

*Diego sighs too, then smiles* So, this is a fresh start then, huh?

[mutxnts]

Wait... you’re rebuilding Desert Bluffs?

Oh! I just got a text from Janice. She said she’s seen El at the daycare across from the high school.

Yes, I suppose so. Maybe we should go out to dinner or something?

[desert-bluffs-diego]

Well... I was. Before the whole, you know, falling into a different dimension thing happened. I'm not sure if I still can...

Really? Great! Let's go!

Yeah, that sounds... that sounds really nice. I've missed this. Do you know any good places to eat in Night Vale?

[mutxnts]

Why not? Maybe Miles can provide all the materials you need to rebuild it!

I wonder who’s been taking her there...

I’ve... I’ve missed this too, actually. Maybe we could go to Tourniquet?

[desert-bluffs-diego]

Getting lost in that portal ruined all my plans, it was the perfect time to move everyone back and I missed it...

But you're right, Desert Bluffs isn't exactly finished. If I get help from Miles, we could be even better than we were before!

Yeah...

Huh, I haven't been there before. Heard it's good though... how does tomorrow night sound?

[desert-bluffs-diego]

And what are you supposed to be, imitation Carlos-lite? - thesexierscientist

I- wha- Excuse me? I’m not imitating anyone.

Who are you anyway?

[thesexierscientist]

Ah huh, sure you aren’t, Wannabe.

Call me Tomas. The pleasure is yours, I’m sure.

[desert-bluffs-diego]

Why would I want to be anything like that scientist? Just because we’re doubles?

No, the pleasure is really not mine. I’m Diego, but I assume you already knew that.

[thesexierscientist]

He seems to have done alright in this universe.

Are you supposed to be important? I only recognized you as a double because I am too.

[desert-bluffs-diego]

Oh, like I haven’t? He’s just got some lab in Night Vale, and I literally own Strex Corp.

So yes, I am important. And I noticed… so what are you then? A… a triple?

[thesexierscientist]

Desert Bluffs is a ruin and you think you’re doing alright? That’s cute.

You can dream.

I’m from a different universe, Ego-Maniac.

[desert-bluffs-diego]

That was not my fault!

What, did you see some weird portal and think it was pretty? Why are you here?

[mysteryfleshpit]

Picked this up for 5 bucks! Dude didn’t know what he had, or wanted to get rid of it. Either way, it’s in such good condition, it looks like it was printed yesterday!