Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.
a/n: pls i have no idea what on earth this is. i wrote it at 5 in the morning when i was too lazy to sleep so i was very much sleep deprived. bear with me :))
She felt its eyes following hers, like a vulture's. Here, she was the prey and they were the predators. She didn't like being followed. Being scrutinized. She felt those eyes wherever she went. She wanted it to stop. She wanted to roam around without being bothered by eyes judging her or appraising things that she did which actually made her feel like ripping off her skin. It was horrible. She wanted to be herself. She wanted to feel comfortable in her skin. For once. She wanted to hold herself with confidence. As she sees the older girls doing. Instead, most of the time she was burrowed in her blankets, in a locked room, too cowardly to step out. To be bold. She could feel the eyes' disapproval. She always felt its disapproval. It felt as if those eyes were disapproving of her very existence. โStop,โ she said. โStop following me everywhere. Stop giving me your thoughts about everything. I don't care about what you think about me. I am what I am. What you think doesn't change it.โ โIt is not our eyes that are following you,โ came the very helpful reply from everywhere at once. A small part of her felt as if she did something great, as if she finally broke free from its clutches. Yet, deep in her heart, she wondered if she'll ever be truly freeโฆ
p.s: if you're one of those folks who's reading my nessian au (incorrect order), please forgive me 'bout the delay. i just can't concentrate on writing. i'll try to uh get the next chapter soon, okay? thanks for understanding xoxo!
A/N: Do inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!
Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.
Trigger Warnings: none ig
2097 words | Incorrect Order Masterlist | Read on AO3
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Wearing a tee is fairly simple. Just bunch it up and pull it over his neck, then, put his arms through. That's it. This is the third time he was trying to get himself in this damn t-shirt. The first time, he wore it the other way round. The next time he accidentally tried putting his neck where his arm was meant to go. He got snarled in the t-shirt in the process. It's a miracle the garment hadn't ripped off. His brushed hair also got mussed and tangled in the process.
Cassian sighed and held his dark brown tee up. His mind was still playing his memories with Nesta on loop. It just wouldnโt stop. Not when he was sulking, bathing, changingโ
The doorbell rang. A quick glance at his wall clock confirmed that the hour was ungodly enough that most would be asleep. Wondering who exactly it was, Cassian opened the doorโ
โand his mind blanked out. There, standing in front of him, in all her glory was Nesta. Nesta, who had snapped at him earlier. Nesta in a white oversized sweater and black tight-fit leggings. A small bag was slung on her shoulder. He was pretty sure he was gawking like an idiot. He forced his mouth to shape her name.
***
โNesta,โ he breathed. Nesta could hear awe and reverence in his voice. So much that she shivered. There was pain in his voice too. Tears pricked her eyes. How selfish of her to run to him even after she hurt him. But she couldnโt turn away. Not now, not after walking from her home to here. She closed her eyes and swallowed. His bare torso didnโt help matters either. His torso was a wonderful masterpiece. His tattoos were starker in the moonlight. She longed to trace them with her fingers. Nesta immediately shut that train of thought. She didnโt come here for that. She came here because of Tomas. Thatโs it.
Cassian was peering over her shoulders when she opened her eyes. Frowning, he asked, โHow did you come here? Has your cab left?โ
โNo,โ she said. โI walked here.โ His eyes snapped to her face. He took a step back and opened the door wider, โCome in,โ he said.
Nesta could feel his eyes on her while she stepped through the threshold and took her time to look through his house. It wasnโt as big as Feyreโs but it was bigger than her apartment. She saw a rumpled t-shirt discarded on the dark blue couch and reigned in a smile. She heard the click of the lock and turned to face him. He looked at her and ran a hand through his hair, tousling it further. Her eyes tracked the wispy strands moving in between his slender, long fingers. Cauldron, she thought, this was going to be very difficult, indeed.
He nodded at the couch, โHave a seat. You must be tired. How long was the walk?โ he queried.
She took her seat on the soft couch and replied, โAround half an hour including a short break I took.โ
He nodded. The pained expression, mixed with one of longing, didn't leave his face yet. โWhy are you here Nesta? Truly? Just a few hours ago, you were screaming in my face and now, youโre in my house looking rattled. What do you want?โ
Nesta stared at her hands resting on her lap, took in a ragged breath and said, โTomas.โ
The shock was evident on his face. โTomas?โ he repeated. She saw as the shock on his face bled and became anger. โDid he disturb you again?โ he demanded.
โNo,โ she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself. โNo. He wasnโt really even there. I was on my bed. Trying to get some sleep. I couldnโt sleep, I kept tossing and turning on my bed. Sleep felt so far away. But after sometime I think I fell asleep. Then I felt like I woke up. It was bright. It all felt weird to me. And that was when I saw him. He was in my room. His hand was around my neck, squeezing. He was talking and talking.โ The words were gushing out of her now, a panicked flow of words. She continued, โThen he slapped me. He also had a knife with him. He kept threatening me. Telling me about the way he said he wanted to kill me. Andโand he used his knife on me. He stabbed my arm and kept dragging upward slowly. It hurt like hell. That was what I didnโt understand. The pain. It all felt very real. Most of all, my pain.โ She looked back at Cassian. He was silently listening, she was grateful for that. โThatโs why I came here,โ she admitted. โI got scared. The vulnerability I feltโฆ I want to be ready when he comes back. And he will come back. He isnโt the type to let things go. I need your help. Help me,โ she pleaded. She wasnโt aware of the tear escaping her eye.
Cassian got up and seated himself beside her. He cupped her cheek. Unconsciously, she leaned closer to him. He gently brushed her tears away. โIโll help you,โ he said gently. โYouโll be ready. When the time comes, youโll be ready. Iโll make sure of it. Only if you call me Cass.โ
She grinned. โThat wouldnโt be very difficult,โ she said.
***
Cassian felt like he was selling his soul in a bargain to the devil. He knew. He knew that this wouldnโt end well for him. He knew heโll end up having his heart broken. But he couldnโt resist. He couldnโt bring himself to say no to her.
Nesta wrapped her arms around his middle. He froze. The sensation of her hands on his bare skin was a shock to his senses and elicited a shiver down his spine. โThank you,โ she said. โThank you so much. Really.โ she gave him a playful smile. โCass,โshe said with more emphasis than necessary. And Mother, he didnโt regret letting her call him Cass one bit.
She yawned and stretched like a cat. He liked that too, he decided.
โHave you slept?โ he asked.
โA bit. You?โ
He shook his head. He gestured to her to follow him up the stairs. โYou can sleep here till dawn in Morโs room. You know, the room you used the last time.โ
โCass,โ she said. He halted, turning back to face her. โI really need to say this. Iโm sorry. Truly. I shouldnโt have said what I did last night.โ
He didnโt say itโs okay because it really wasnโt. He just nodded, acknowledging her apology, showing her that he couldnโt forget how much it hurt him but heโll try to come to terms with both of their mistakes. They reached Morโs door.
She hesitated. โI donโt have any clothes to change to,โ she said.
โItโs fine,โ he said. โMorโs clothes would fit you, though it would be slightly loose. You can also use the bathroom to wash up or anything else you want to do. Iโll be in the room down the corridorโโ he said, gesturing to the second last doorโ โso just knock if you need anything, okay?โ
She nodded and thanked him again before closing the door and preparing for bed. He entered his room and plopped on the bed. It mightโve been how tired he felt or it might have been her presence two rooms away, but in mere minutes, Cass was fast asleep.
***
A few fast and hard knocks on his door woke Cassian from his sleep. Groggily, he opened the door to find Nesta in a tank top and shorts. Very short shorts. She looked disturbed, though.
โWhat happened?โ he asked her.
โI canโt sleep,โ she said, her voice small.
Cassianโs heart, or at least, what was left of it, broke. He hated to see this. Cold, sharp Nesta now, standing in front of him, scared and afraid. He felt a surge of protectiveness in him. He wanted to tuck her to his side and shield her from every and any harm that would come to her.
He held his hand out for her and brought her into his room. โSit,โ he gestured to his bed, โWhat do you want to do?โ
She smiled tentatively, โWould you tell me about yourself? We havenโt introduced ourselves properly. I think I want to hear more about you from you yourself. And if you wantโฆ I could tell you some things about myself too.โ
He sat on the bed beside her and said, โThatโll be fun.โ He saw this not only as a means to escape the horrid things in her head, but also as a peace offering. He couldnโt forgive and forget the things she told him earlier but he could try to play along with her patching up.
โWhoโs gonna start first?โ she asked.
He dramatically placed his hand on his bare chest in a variation of a bow and said, โAfter you, my lady.โ
She laughed and asked, โDo you ever wear a shirt at home?โ
โWhy? Getting distracted already?โ
โCanโt you just answer my question?โ she asked hotly, though a light blush was creeping up her cheeks.
The corner of his lips kicked up a notch, โI do wear shirts at home.โ
โGood,โ she said and opened her mouth to continue when he interrupted her.
โWait,โ he said, โNow, you havenโt answered my question.โ
โI didnโt deem it worthy enough to answer.โ
He pouted, โYou wound me, Nes.โ
โStop being overdramatic. And donโt call me Nes!โ she snapped half heartedly.
โTwice,โ aggrievedly, he said, โyou wounded me twice. Also,โ he smirked, leaning closer to her, โyou like it.โ
โLike which?โ
โBeing called Nes.โ
โI donโt.โ
โUh-huh.โ
โNow youโre the one whoโs getting distracted. What did we plan for and what are we doing now? If this is how things are gonna be, I think youโll prove to be a very bad teacher.โ
โNow, Nes, you need to know that Iโm good at many, many things and would prove to be an extremely focused teacher,โ he said, voice husky. He knew she caught his meaning when the blush on her cheeks deepened. He leaned back on his palms, โGo on.โ
So she spoke. She told him of her time when both her parents were alive; of the time when they grieved their motherโs death; when she kept herself away from her sisters after becoming orphans; when she made the mistake of falling for Tomas. โHonestly,โ she had told him, โwhen I look at him now, I wonder how I fell in love with him in the first place.โ She then told him of how her relationship with Tomas was a toxic one; him being abusive and controlling; how he made her feel low of herself; how he never respected her; how he kept cheating on her. She told Cassian of the day Tomas hit her and accused her of cheating just because he saw her paying for her groceries at a maleโs counter. She told him of how she called the police immediately after and got him behind bars. By the time she was over, Nesta was curled by his side, tears silently streaming down her beautiful face, him rubbing soothing circles on her back.
Then he told her about himself. He decided to tell her the plain truth without any alterations. She deserved it. But it felt intimate, somehow, sharing the details he hadnโt spoken out loud. Even Az and Rhys had only seen what he did and never pushed afterwards. He told her as much before telling her about how much he loved his mother; of how he never knew his father and that was for his fatherโs own good; of how his mother was killed one day while he was at school; of how he beat the men involved into pulp; of how he was called a brute and a bastard there on; of how he first met Rhys and Az at his school; of how Rhysโs mother took him in as her own son; of the silly things and the trouble the trio would create.
โYou are a very good friend, Cass. And an even better man,โ Nes said
His heart warmed. He said, โDonโt care about what Tomas said. Youโre a beautiful, intelligent, brave, witty and sharp woman. And I,โ he paused, โI like you very much as a friend too.โ
He didnโt understand the short pang of disappointment on his face. All he could think was, shit, I almost said I loved her.
A/N: Do inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!
Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.
Trigger Warnings: Swearing, an angry Nesta and a heart-broken Cassian
2094 words | Incorrect Order Masterlist | Read on AO3
Nesta had never been one for small talk but in his presence she spoke as if she was excellent in small talk. They spoke of all unimportant things and ended up forgetting the important stuff; their names. Again.
Feyre sent an invitation for her first anniversary party as she did for every other occasion. The only thing different was that Nesta never bothered to pay heed to her invitations before. After the day in the alley, however, she decided she was going to turn over a new leaf. This was her first step.
She checked her reflection on the side-mirror. She tried to keep her outfit and make-up as simple as possible. She only wore a white ruffled-sleeved blouse with a black pencil skirt. Her hair was braided into a coronet. She looked good, but not as good as sheโll look if she took her own time to do a detailed make-over. She let out a breath and braced herself for the inevitable little chat with her sisters.
โNesta?โ a bewildered voice breathed. She whirled around to face her younger sister, Elain, looking up at her, a small smile playing about her lips. โYouโre here,โ she said and flung her arms around Nesta. Nesta automatically wrapped her arms around Elainโs smaller frame. Eventually, Elain pulled back.
โNo offense, but I really thought you wouldnโt be coming,โ Elain said.
Nesta felt as if the smile on her face couldn't be wiped out for the next few hours. โHonestly, I didn't think I'd come either. But here I am.โ
She nodded and pulled Nesta to the garden the party was held at.
โI did this,โ Elain said. โThis garden, I planted and groomed all this.โ
โNo wonder why it looks so beautiful,โ Nesta replied.
She flushed and said contemplatively, โYou're so different now, Nesta.โ
โI hope in a good way. Where's Feyre?โ
โLet's go meet everyone first.โ
Nesta shook her head. โIโ I need to talk to both of you before I meet everyone else. โ
Elain hesitated then said, โCan you wait in that room? I'll fetch Feyre and come.โ
Nesta nodded and headed to the door at the end of the garden Elain pointed at. The room was classy, much like the exterior of the house. She was struck by the simple yet grand theme of Feyre's house. She knew he and his brothers were rich but she just didn't understand the extent of their wealth. Till now.
โWhat are you thinking?โ Feyre wasn't the type to blindly trust people. It took more than coming for her anniversary to persuade her that Nesta's intentions were good.
Nesta faced Feyre, her youngest sister, who stood before her, gorgeous yet fierce in a simple but elegant blue gown. She shrugged, โJust thinking that I'm glad my sisters were well-provided when I couldn't take care of them.โ
Feyreโs face didnโt change, she just gestured towards the couches. โHave a seat,โ she said.
Nesta sat down, โYou both look splendid,โ she said. Feyre said that the gown was a gift, Elain thanked Nesta and offered the same.
Nesta cleared her throat. โI need to tell the both of you something. Many things, actually.โ
So Nesta spoke. She apologised. For how she wasn't there to fulfill the role of an elder sister. For how she failed to attend Feyre's marriage and many other occasions. For all the rude words she spoke to them. For shunning them. She apologised for being self consumed. For everything else.
She also promised. To try harder. To become better. To be a good sister and sister-in-law. To be with them at all times, especially when they needed her. And they listened.
โI know these words aren't enough, but I'll try to make it so,โ she finished, her hands clasped with both her sisters on her sides.
โYou said you'll try, Nesta. We will too,โ Feyre said.
โI see a very bright future ahead of us,โ Elain said.
Nesta couldn't help the tears anymore. She folded her arms around her sisters and tucked them close. Her sisters. Her beloved sisters she now knew she'd do anything to protect.
โI see a very bright future too,โ Nesta said.
Nesta pulled back after what felt like an hour and looked at her sisters' tear-streaked faces.
โI love you,โ the three of them said simultaneously. Nesta giggled. Elain laughed. Feyre stared.
Nesta gently brushed the tears from both of their cheeks. โI don't want to see any of you crying.โ
She hugged them again, willing the hug to convey everything she didn't say out loud.
โNow, now, enough snuggling. We've got a party to attend and people to meet, remember?โ Feyre said.
***
Cassian was anxious. He had always hoped Nesta, his sister-in-law, would come for the gatherings they had; be it family dinners, or birthday parties, or the random meetings they had when they just got tipsy and played games. He hadn't seen her face-to-face before. All he knows about Nesta are from the descriptions from Feyre and Elain. That, too, was minimal. One of them would quickly change the topic to something pleasant the moment traces of an emotional breakdown were visible. Every time he hoped, he was let down. She never came. He vowed he would stop hoping and instead just go about and act as if she didn't exist. But that never happened. Every time his family met, his treacherous heart would start hoping only to have a chunk of it fall off when she failed to attend. Today was no different.
Then thereโs the woman who heโd been talking to the whole afternoon. He was a tangled up mess of emotions and doubt and confusion. He had been sort-of pining after Nesta. She was exactly the person heโd like. Apparently she was drop-dead gorgeous, witty andโฆ feral. Feyre said that. Feral. Sheโd be someone worth seeing. She was totally a worthy opponent. Itโd be fun. But the other woman? Mother above, she was ethereal. More than ethereal, in fact. Words can't contain what he had to say about her.
He was damn near killing Az for calling him right when they were about to exchange names. He really can't believe he was a hairsbreadth away from knowing her before it was all ripped away. Now they were back to square one. He didn't know anything about her.
Azriel clapped him on his back so hard that he almost stumbled and fell. Or probably that was because he was too distracted. โAll good Somm?โ
โMmm-hmm,โ he replied noncommittally. He busied his hands with re-rinsing the champagne flutes and wiping them clean again. He did this two times already. Still.
โMood is sour today, Cass?โ Az teased, mock-frowning.
โNah,โ Cassian said wryly, โit's as sweet as honeydew. Especially today, when my chat got interrupted.โ He glared at Azriel.
โNow, now, that is a story for another day. For now though, I think I've got something that can cheer up your brooding self.โ
โWhat is it?โ he mumbled.
Az grinned. โNesta is here.โ
***
Feyre and Elain took Nesta on a quick tour around the house. Feyreโs paintings were hung on the walls throughout the whole house. Nesta grimly noticed that there wasn't a single picture of her. There were even paintings of their father whose heart had long stopped beating. But none of hers. If only she didnโt push herself away, Nesta wouldโve been a happy part of her sistersโ lives.
โIโm sorry,โ she whispered. Feyre took her hand in hers. Elain tucked herself to Nestaโs side, wrapping her arms over her slender shoulders.
Nesta already met Mor, a stunning blonde woman, and Amren, a slightly intimidating and short person. Now she only had to meet her brother-in-laws.
โLetโs go meet the boys!โ Elain said brightly.
We walked back to the garden. Feyre seemed to get more and more elated the closer we got to the garden. Huh. Probably falling in love would do that to someone. Anyway, as long as her sisters were happy.
They stepped through the doorway. The garden was decorated with more banners and streamers hung on the back of chairs and on the low branches. Again, it looked opulent in a simple way.
There were three men in the centre of the garden, gathered around a table. They all were slightly similar, broad shouldered, tapered waists, muscular limbs. Three of them wore formal shirts and pants clinging to their frames. The one in the middle was Rhysand, she supposed. She smirked internally. Of course Feyre ended up with this guy. She's got a good taste. Must've gotten it from the oldest sister.
The one on the right, though. His figure felt familiar. Very, very familiar. She couldn't quite put a finger on it yet.
โThe one on the left is Azriel, the one on the right is Cassian,โ Feyre said, and Nesta nodded.
The boys must be really engrossed with their conversation. They hadn't noticed the three of them yet.
The guy she thought was familiar threw his head back and laughed. She gasped. That laugh. She'd know the laugh anywhere. Indeed, when he angled his face so that she could get a glimpse, she knew she was done for. She swallowed with much difficulty.
โI need to go,โ she said quickly.
โGo? Butโ but we haven't cut the cake yet. It's still early. We've got lots more fun stuff,โ Elain said.
โYou said you'll try, Nesta. Only, this doesn't feel like 'trying',โ Feyre said.
โY-yeah it's f-fine. Kinda. My head hurts,โ she said, accidentally clutching her stomach. โI-I mean, yeah my head hurts. Very badly. I gotta go.โ She looked helplessly at both of them. โI'm so sorry. I really am. It's justโ I think I need rest. I'll recompense. Probably dinner in three days?โ They both shared a look and agreed.
Nesta was already walking away. โLove you both,โ she threw over her shoulder.
***
โFeyre!โ Rhys called. He beckoned Feyre and Elain to the table. He didn't see Nesta.
Cassian lightly kissed Feyre on her cheek once they made their way to the table and said, โGorgeous as always. Happy anniversary!โ
Feyre grinned, but it showed traces of disappointment.
He frowned. โHey, what's wrong?โ
She just shook her head and mumbled, โNesta.โ Rhys's face hardened. His brother was never fond of Nesta. He said that she was why Feyre was always worried.
โWhere's Nesta?โ Az asked, craning his neck to see behind farther.
โSheโฆ left,โ Elain pointed, revealing a figure disappearing behind the gates. A figure he knew all too well. Shitshitshitshit.
His head snapped back to his brothers. โThat is Nesta?โ he damn near shouted.
Rhys scowled, โYeah.โ
No wonder why she's so beautiful, he thought dumbly before running after her with a quick โI'll be back.โ
***
Nesta was wrong. In all her happiness of being reunited with her sisters, she completely forgot how even a small thing can break one's smile. She felt like she couldn't breathe. She kept her calm demeanour, but inside, she was a raging storm of emotions.
One step in front of the other, she kept reminding herself.
She kept walking. Even when she heard footsteps. Even when the steps got louder. Even as he got close enough to cease running.
But not when he called her name. She halted. Locked up her emotions. She knew she shouldn't but she turned around anyway.
โWhat do you want?โ she snapped.
โNesta,โ he breathed. She tried to hold back her shudder. It was from the night air, she told herself.
โIf you have nothing to say, do let me know. I'm not going to wait forever,โ she said. Harsher than she intended to. But she didn't care, at least, that's what she told herself.
Cassian winked, โI'm honored you came, sweetheart. I'll pass the credit to my influence on you. โ
She ground her teeth against the truth threatening to fall off her lips. Yes, I came here because you made me happy. And I thought that if I tried, as I did with you, I can rebuild my relationship with my sisters.
***
Cassian did something stupid. He grabbed her hand. Her eyes snapped to his, burning with anger. Like the day they first met.
He gave her a crooked grin that he knew would drive her mad. Well, more than she already was. He tilted his head to the garden, โThe party is that way, love.โ
She snatched back her hand at continued walking. Like a fool, he followed. โI spoke to my sisters. Told them I won't be staying tonight. And that we'll have dinner in three day's time. Does that satisfy you? Now, can you stop following me?โ
โSomething's wrong. What's wrong, Nes?โ
โOne,โ she ground out, โdon't call me that. Two, I'm a grown-ass woman; I know how to take care of myself. I don't need a babysitter.โ
โYou did. That day,โ he said quietly.
She whirled on him, โIs this you taking back favours? Because I'm not interested. You want money? Take it. Tell me your price and fucking take it! Don't tread on my heels because you helped me, okay? I've got way better things to do.โ She paused, โAnd don't follow me, Cassian.โ
She turned and stalked away.
You want money? Take it. 'Take it.' As if he were a beggar, asking for alms. As if they weren't laughing at each other's jokes not more than an hour ago. As if he didn't spend a week taking care of her as if she were a part of his soul. Maybe she was.
But that was before, Cassian thought as his heart cleaved into two perfect halves. Noโ it smashed to a million tiny pieces.
He waited till Nesta was out of his line of sight. He turned and walked back to the garden, leaving his heart behind.
A/N: Do inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!
Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.
Trigger Warnings: Swearing, an angry Nesta and a heart-broken Cassian
2094 words | Incorrect Order Masterlist | Read on AO3
Nesta had never been one for small talk but in his presence she spoke as if she was excellent in small talk. They spoke of all unimportant things and ended up forgetting the important stuff; their names. Again.
Feyre sent an invitation for her first anniversary party as she did for every other occasion. The only thing different was that Nesta never bothered to pay heed to her invitations before. After the day in the alley, however, she decided she was going to turn over a new leaf. This was her first step.
She checked her reflection on the side-mirror. She tried to keep her outfit and make-up as simple as possible. She only wore a white ruffled-sleeved blouse with a black pencil skirt. Her hair was braided into a coronet. She looked good, but not as good as sheโll look if she took her own time to do a detailed make-over. She let out a breath and braced herself for the inevitable little chat with her sisters.
โNesta?โ a bewildered voice breathed. She whirled around to face her younger sister, Elain, looking up at her, a small smile playing about her lips. โYouโre here,โ she said and flung her arms around Nesta. Nesta automatically wrapped her arms around Elainโs smaller frame. Eventually, Elain pulled back.
โNo offense, but I really thought you wouldnโt be coming,โ Elain said.
Nesta felt as if the smile on her face couldn't be wiped out for the next few hours. โHonestly, I didn't think I'd come either. But here I am.โ
She nodded and pulled Nesta to the garden the party was held at.
โI did this,โ Elain said. โThis garden, I planted and groomed all this.โ
โNo wonder why it looks so beautiful,โ Nesta replied.
She flushed and said contemplatively, โYou're so different now, Nesta.โ
โI hope in a good way. Where's Feyre?โ
โLet's go meet everyone first.โ
Nesta shook her head. โIโ I need to talk to both of you before I meet everyone else. โ
Elain hesitated then said, โCan you wait in that room? I'll fetch Feyre and come.โ
Nesta nodded and headed to the door at the end of the garden Elain pointed at. The room was classy, much like the exterior of the house. She was struck by the simple yet grand theme of Feyre's house. She knew he and his brothers were rich but she just didn't understand the extent of their wealth. Till now.
โWhat are you thinking?โ Feyre wasn't the type to blindly trust people. It took more than coming for her anniversary to persuade her that Nesta's intentions were good.
Nesta faced Feyre, her youngest sister, who stood before her, gorgeous yet fierce in a simple but elegant blue gown. She shrugged, โJust thinking that I'm glad my sisters were well-provided when I couldn't take care of them.โ
Feyreโs face didnโt change, she just gestured towards the couches. โHave a seat,โ she said.
Nesta sat down, โYou both look splendid,โ she said. Feyre said that the gown was a gift, Elain thanked Nesta and offered the same.
Nesta cleared her throat. โI need to tell the both of you something. Many things, actually.โ
So Nesta spoke. She apologised. For how she wasn't there to fulfill the role of an elder sister. For how she failed to attend Feyre's marriage and many other occasions. For all the rude words she spoke to them. For shunning them. She apologised for being self consumed. For everything else.
She also promised. To try harder. To become better. To be a good sister and sister-in-law. To be with them at all times, especially when they needed her. And they listened.
โI know these words aren't enough, but I'll try to make it so,โ she finished, her hands clasped with both her sisters on her sides.
โYou said you'll try, Nesta. We will too,โ Feyre said.
โI see a very bright future ahead of us,โ Elain said.
Nesta couldn't help the tears anymore. She folded her arms around her sisters and tucked them close. Her sisters. Her beloved sisters she now knew she'd do anything to protect.
โI see a very bright future too,โ Nesta said.
Nesta pulled back after what felt like an hour and looked at her sisters' tear-streaked faces.
โI love you,โ the three of them said simultaneously. Nesta giggled. Elain laughed. Feyre stared.
Nesta gently brushed the tears from both of their cheeks. โI don't want to see any of you crying.โ
She hugged them again, willing the hug to convey everything she didn't say out loud.
โNow, now, enough snuggling. We've got a party to attend and people to meet, remember?โ Feyre said.
***
Cassian was anxious. He had always hoped Nesta, his sister-in-law, would come for the gatherings they had; be it family dinners, or birthday parties, or the random meetings they had when they just got tipsy and played games. He hadn't seen her face-to-face before. All he knows about Nesta are from the descriptions from Feyre and Elain. That, too, was minimal. One of them would quickly change the topic to something pleasant the moment traces of an emotional breakdown were visible. Every time he hoped, he was let down. She never came. He vowed he would stop hoping and instead just go about and act as if she didn't exist. But that never happened. Every time his family met, his treacherous heart would start hoping only to have a chunk of it fall off when she failed to attend. Today was no different.
Then thereโs the woman who heโd been talking to the whole afternoon. He was a tangled up mess of emotions and doubt and confusion. He had been sort-of pining after Nesta. She was exactly the person heโd like. Apparently she was drop-dead gorgeous, witty andโฆ feral. Feyre said that. Feral. Sheโd be someone worth seeing. She was totally a worthy opponent. Itโd be fun. But the other woman? Mother above, she was ethereal. More than ethereal, in fact. Words can't contain what he had to say about her.
He was damn near killing Az for calling him right when they were about to exchange names. He really can't believe he was a hairsbreadth away from knowing her before it was all ripped away. Now they were back to square one. He didn't know anything about her.
Azriel clapped him on his back so hard that he almost stumbled and fell. Or probably that was because he was too distracted. โAll good Somm?โ
โMmm-hmm,โ he replied noncommittally. He busied his hands with re-rinsing the champagne flutes and wiping them clean again. He did this two times already. Still.
โMood is sour today, Cass?โ Az teased, mock-frowning.
โNah,โ Cassian said wryly, โit's as sweet as honeydew. Especially today, when my chat got interrupted.โ He glared at Azriel.
โNow, now, that is a story for another day. For now though, I think I've got something that can cheer up your brooding self.โ
โWhat is it?โ he mumbled.
Az grinned. โNesta is here.โ
***
Feyre and Elain took Nesta on a quick tour around the house. Feyreโs paintings were hung on the walls throughout the whole house. Nesta grimly noticed that there wasn't a single picture of her. There were even paintings of their father whose heart had long stopped beating. But none of hers. If only she didnโt push herself away, Nesta wouldโve been a happy part of her sistersโ lives.
โIโm sorry,โ she whispered. Feyre took her hand in hers. Elain tucked herself to Nestaโs side, wrapping her arms over her slender shoulders.
Nesta already met Mor, a stunning blonde woman, and Amren, a slightly intimidating and short person. Now she only had to meet her brother-in-laws.
โLetโs go meet the boys!โ Elain said brightly.
We walked back to the garden. Feyre seemed to get more and more elated the closer we got to the garden. Huh. Probably falling in love would do that to someone. Anyway, as long as her sisters were happy.
They stepped through the doorway. The garden was decorated with more banners and streamers hung on the back of chairs and on the low branches. Again, it looked opulent in a simple way.
There were three men in the centre of the garden, gathered around a table. They all were slightly similar, broad shouldered, tapered waists, muscular limbs. Three of them wore formal shirts and pants clinging to their frames. The one in the middle was Rhysand, she supposed. She smirked internally. Of course Feyre ended up with this guy. She's got a good taste. Must've gotten it from the oldest sister.
The one on the right, though. His figure felt familiar. Very, very familiar. She couldn't quite put a finger on it yet.
โThe one on the left is Azriel, the one on the right is Cassian,โ Feyre said, and Nesta nodded.
The boys must be really engrossed with their conversation. They hadn't noticed the three of them yet.
The guy she thought was familiar threw his head back and laughed. She gasped. That laugh. She'd know the laugh anywhere. Indeed, when he angled his face so that she could get a glimpse, she knew she was done for. She swallowed with much difficulty.
โI need to go,โ she said quickly.
โGo? Butโ but we haven't cut the cake yet. It's still early. We've got lots more fun stuff,โ Elain said.
โYou said you'll try, Nesta. Only, this doesn't feel like 'trying',โ Feyre said.
โY-yeah it's f-fine. Kinda. My head hurts,โ she said, accidentally clutching her stomach. โI-I mean, yeah my head hurts. Very badly. I gotta go.โ She looked helplessly at both of them. โI'm so sorry. I really am. It's justโ I think I need rest. I'll recompense. Probably dinner in three days?โ They both shared a look and agreed.
Nesta was already walking away. โLove you both,โ she threw over her shoulder.
***
โFeyre!โ Rhys called. He beckoned Feyre and Elain to the table. He didn't see Nesta.
Cassian lightly kissed Feyre on her cheek once they made their way to the table and said, โGorgeous as always. Happy anniversary!โ
Feyre grinned, but it showed traces of disappointment.
He frowned. โHey, what's wrong?โ
She just shook her head and mumbled, โNesta.โ Rhys's face hardened. His brother was never fond of Nesta. He said that she was why Feyre was always worried.
โWhere's Nesta?โ Az asked, craning his neck to see behind farther.
โSheโฆ left,โ Elain pointed, revealing a figure disappearing behind the gates. A figure he knew all too well. Shitshitshitshit.
His head snapped back to his brothers. โThat is Nesta?โ he damn near shouted.
Rhys scowled, โYeah.โ
No wonder why she's so beautiful, he thought dumbly before running after her with a quick โI'll be back.โ
***
Nesta was wrong. In all her happiness of being reunited with her sisters, she completely forgot how even a small thing can break one's smile. She felt like she couldn't breathe. She kept her calm demeanour, but inside, she was a raging storm of emotions.
One step in front of the other, she kept reminding herself.
She kept walking. Even when she heard footsteps. Even when the steps got louder. Even as he got close enough to cease running.
But not when he called her name. She halted. Locked up her emotions. She knew she shouldn't but she turned around anyway.
โWhat do you want?โ she snapped.
โNesta,โ he breathed. She tried to hold back her shudder. It was from the night air, she told herself.
โIf you have nothing to say, do let me know. I'm not going to wait forever,โ she said. Harsher than she intended to. But she didn't care, at least, that's what she told herself.
Cassian winked, โI'm honored you came, sweetheart. I'll pass the credit to my influence on you. โ
She ground her teeth against the truth threatening to fall off her lips. Yes, I came here because you made me happy. And I thought that if I tried, as I did with you, I can rebuild my relationship with my sisters.
***
Cassian did something stupid. He grabbed her hand. Her eyes snapped to his, burning with anger. Like the day they first met.
He gave her a crooked grin that he knew would drive her mad. Well, more than she already was. He tilted his head to the garden, โThe party is that way, love.โ
She snatched back her hand at continued walking. Like a fool, he followed. โI spoke to my sisters. Told them I won't be staying tonight. And that we'll have dinner in three day's time. Does that satisfy you? Now, can you stop following me?โ
โSomething's wrong. What's wrong, Nes?โ
โOne,โ she ground out, โdon't call me that. Two, I'm a grown-ass woman; I know how to take care of myself. I don't need a babysitter.โ
โYou did. That day,โ he said quietly.
She whirled on him, โIs this you taking back favours? Because I'm not interested. You want money? Take it. Tell me your price and fucking take it! Don't tread on my heels because you helped me, okay? I've got way better things to do.โ She paused, โAnd don't follow me, Cassian.โ
She turned and stalked away.
You want money? Take it. 'Take it.' As if he were a beggar, asking for alms. As if they weren't laughing at each other's jokes not more than an hour ago. As if he didn't spend a week taking care of her as if she were a part of his soul. Maybe she was.
But that was before, Cassian thought as his heart cleaved into two perfect halves. Noโ it smashed to a million tiny pieces.
He waited till Nesta was out of his line of sight. He turned and walked back to the garden, leaving his heart behind.
A/N: I'm sooo sorry I haven't been updated in more than two weeks. I had exams :/ Also, do inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!
Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.
Trigger Warnings: Language
1572 words | Incorrect Order Masterlist | Read on AO3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The smile Cassian plastered on his face didnโt reach his eyes. His brothers saw that. Feyre and Elain saw that. Mor and Amren knew that. He himself did. But they didnโt say anything. If it werenโt Feyreโs anniversary, he wouldโve even gone home. He couldnโt though. He wouldnโt do anything that would hurt his family. So he stayed. Smiled. Joked. Laughed. Did everything he could to keep his mind from straying to a grey-eyed masterpiece.
Az and Rhys saw, he knew. They always seemed to realise everything about each other. Even if one of them had a minor headache, the other two would know. Tonight, however, none of them pushed him. They probably thought he wanted to be alone. But did he? Truly?
He wasnโt sure. He didnโt want to be alone. That would make memories of their lunch rise. Of her shirt splattered with coffee on one day and blood on another. Of her pale form laying on his bed. Of her, enjoying his food. Of their shared jokes. He didnโt think he could take that.
He wasnโt sure he wanted to be around people either. He didnโt know if he could stay around people who laughed and teased. He didnโt know if he could laugh with them and actually mean it. He didnโt know if he could anytime soon.
Cass glanced at the clock. 3.00 a.m. He smiled. Whenever they gathered around in the living room, retiring early was totally off the table. The earliest they dispersed was four in the morning.
To his right, Rhys sighed. โItโs late,โ he said, tucking Feyre close to his side. โGotta go to bed.โ
He smirked, but held back the joke on the tip of his tongue. After a chorus of goodnights, Rhys and Feyre told them they could stay here tonight if they wanted to and rose to go upstairs. Feyre laughed at something Rhys said and Cass felt a pang of sadness hit him.
Sadnessโฆ and something else. He knew he shouldnโt, but he envied the both of them. How easily they bantered and teased. How smooth their relationship was. He remembered how Feyre locked herself in the cabin after Rhys proposed. He remembered how she asked Mor not to let anyone in, especially Rhys. He sighed. He felt an amount of the jealousy dissipate. Probably Nesta would get together with him after their slight misunderstanding passed. If it did.
He got up to leave when Az stopped him. โYou sure youโre going back?โ Cass didnโt remember telling Az that he was going back. Then again he didn't need to. Az always saw everything. โYou're not thatโฆ somber.โ
Ah. Cass smiled. โI'll be fine, โ he reassured. Az still didn't let him go. โI'll send you a text once I'm home,โ he tried. Az sighed.
โI'll be waiting for it.โ
Cass looked at Mor, drunk and blabbering before stepping out of the house. He kept replaying that memory till he reached home, keeping his mind occupied. He was scared of what would happen if he kept his thoughts idle.
He informed Az that he reached home. He didn't know why going back home felt like preparing for a battle. It probably was a battle. Between her and his self-restraint. What was at stake here was his sanity. Cass sighed. He stepped in through the threshold and welcomed the darkness that enveloped him.
***
Stop crying like a baby, Nesta repeatedly reminded herself. Why should she cry? Nothing here was her fault. Nothing.
Not the fact that she let his charmed smiles bring her guards down. Not the fact that she felt alive when he said something stupidly funny. Certainly not the fact that she was slowly falling for him.
None of it was her fault. So why should she cry? Why should she stop herself from attending her own sister's anniversary? When it was all his fault.
She shouldn't be crying. She should be thinking about ways of exploiting his weaknesses. She should think about how she would portray him as the weak one. She should think about how she was going to make him regret everything.
But how could she make him regret it when she never regretted a second of it? She hated that this was where her thoughts went first. To scheming and plotting. She thought she changed. Did she regret her wish to be good? No. She reveled in it. No, she vowed herself, I would not scheme to make him beg. I'm not that Nesta anymore. I'll never be.
She was proud of herself. She never realised her self restraint was this good.
But apparently not good enough. Her thoughts drifted back to him. No, not him. Cassian. Cauldron, it'll take some time to get used to calling him Cassian. Or maybe Cass. Feyre and Rhysand called him that. Probably she would too. She thought about what he called her. Nes. She flushed. That stupid name did stupid things to her. She pretended she didn't like it. In fact, she loved it. Somehow, she wasn't ready to tell him that yet.
***
Nesta blinked open her eyes against the morning light. Her eyes were closed? It was morning already? Huh.
It took her some time for her eyes to adjust. She screamed at what she saw. Nesta scrambled back from the looming figure of Tomas, leering at her face.
โNesta, Nesta, โ he said in his eerie voice. It became scarier with his sing-song tone. โMy Nesta.โ He paused. โThough I suppose you aren't mine anymore. You were still mine last time, you know. When you handed me over to the police. โ
She bared her teeth, opened her mouth to say something when his hand closed around her throat.
โBut now, I suppose I can't call you mine anymore, can I? That reminds me. Where is your bodyguard? Or is that brute your boyfriend?โ He spat the last word. His hand tightened around her neck.
โDo you know what he did to me? Your bastard. Did you know how he threatened me? Did you know that he smashed my bones, that it took me this long to heal?โ
Some sort of savage satisfaction filled her. The fact that Cassian did all thisโฆ she smirked. It didn't go unnoticed by Tomas. He growled, the sound sending icy fingers ghosting down her spine. She hoped she didn't have to hear it again.
His hand around her throat pushed her farther back on the bed. He drew back, she let loose a relieved breath. A mistake.
His hand cracked on her cheek. He came infinitely closer to her, his hot, rancid breath glancing off her cheeks. His hand kept tightening around her throat and she wondered how she wasnโt dead yet. It was certainly bruised now.
โLook at you. So vulnerable. So killable. Iโve imagined how I would slit your throat. So many ideas. If only I could kill you in all the ways I imagined. But do you know what is the best way I could kill you?โ
Nesta let him talk. He loved to hear himself talk. She subtly looked around her room, searching for anything she could use as a weapon. She looked back at Tomas. He wasnโt talking. Did he ask her a question?
โTell me, Nesta. Do you know what is the best way to kill you?โ Nesta shook her head, his hand pressed around her throat. Tomas smiled. She cringed mentally.
โI think the best way to kill you and make it hurt is to kill you slowly. You know what makes it better? Having that bastard watch you die. Let him watch the life seep out of you. And then Iโll kill him too.โ he said and she felt the room closing in. Panic was slowly rising in her.
โNow, now,โ he said. She supposed he meant to be cajoling but the effect his voice gave was the exact opposite. โThereโs no need to panic. I told you Iโll kill you only when your bodyguard is there.โ
He pulled out a knife. She gasped and pain erupted around her throat. Her lungs were burning.
โBut darling,โ he said. She whimpered. She hated this. She hated that she was vulnerable here. She hated that she couldnโt do anything when her death was slowly nearing. โI didnโt say I wouldnโt hurt you.โ
Then his knife struck. Nothing hurt at first. Then, fiery pain whipped through her, beginning at her arm. She screamed. Pain. There was so much pain. She screamed so loud she pondered how the whole neighborhood didnโt hear anything.
***
Nesta gasped. Her eyes darted through her room. Nothing. No one. She looked at her arm. No pain. No scars. No blood. She touched her throat. It wasnโt sore. It wasnโt swollen. She got out of bed and looked at her mirror. No bruises. She let out a frustrated sound. It was a dream. A fucking dream. Or she supposed it was a nightmare. Still. It wasnโt real.
It was still five in the morning. Still quite early. She released a breath. She wouldnโt find a cab now but she could walk. It wasnโt that far. She fixed her hair and changed her clothes. She wasnโt going because she missed him. She just didnโt want to be vulnerable again. Thatโs all. She just wanted to know how to defend herself. Nothing else. So Nesta went to Cassianโs house, hoping that sheโs making the right choice.
A/N: Do inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!
Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.
Trigger Warnings: Swearing, an angry Nesta and a heart-broken Cassian
2094 words | Incorrect Order Masterlist | Read on AO3
Nesta had never been one for small talk but in his presence she spoke as if she was excellent in small talk. They spoke of all unimportant things and ended up forgetting the important stuff; their names. Again.
Feyre sent an invitation for her first anniversary party as she did for every other occasion. The only thing different was that Nesta never bothered to pay heed to her invitations before. After the day in the alley, however, she decided she was going to turn over a new leaf. This was her first step.
She checked her reflection on the side-mirror. She tried to keep her outfit and make-up as simple as possible. She only wore a white ruffled-sleeved blouse with a black pencil skirt. Her hair was braided into a coronet. She looked good, but not as good as sheโll look if she took her own time to do a detailed make-over. She let out a breath and braced herself for the inevitable little chat with her sisters.
โNesta?โ a bewildered voice breathed. She whirled around to face her younger sister, Elain, looking up at her, a small smile playing about her lips. โYouโre here,โ she said and flung her arms around Nesta. Nesta automatically wrapped her arms around Elainโs smaller frame. Eventually, Elain pulled back.
โNo offense, but I really thought you wouldnโt be coming,โ Elain said.
Nesta felt as if the smile on her face couldn't be wiped out for the next few hours. โHonestly, I didn't think I'd come either. But here I am.โ
She nodded and pulled Nesta to the garden the party was held at.
โI did this,โ Elain said. โThis garden, I planted and groomed all this.โ
โNo wonder why it looks so beautiful,โ Nesta replied.
She flushed and said contemplatively, โYou're so different now, Nesta.โ
โI hope in a good way. Where's Feyre?โ
โLet's go meet everyone first.โ
Nesta shook her head. โIโ I need to talk to both of you before I meet everyone else. โ
Elain hesitated then said, โCan you wait in that room? I'll fetch Feyre and come.โ
Nesta nodded and headed to the door at the end of the garden Elain pointed at. The room was classy, much like the exterior of the house. She was struck by the simple yet grand theme of Feyre's house. She knew he and his brothers were rich but she just didn't understand the extent of their wealth. Till now.
โWhat are you thinking?โ Feyre wasn't the type to blindly trust people. It took more than coming for her anniversary to persuade her that Nesta's intentions were good.
Nesta faced Feyre, her youngest sister, who stood before her, gorgeous yet fierce in a simple but elegant blue gown. She shrugged, โJust thinking that I'm glad my sisters were well-provided when I couldn't take care of them.โ
Feyreโs face didnโt change, she just gestured towards the couches. โHave a seat,โ she said.
Nesta sat down, โYou both look splendid,โ she said. Feyre said that the gown was a gift, Elain thanked Nesta and offered the same.
Nesta cleared her throat. โI need to tell the both of you something. Many things, actually.โ
So Nesta spoke. She apologised. For how she wasn't there to fulfill the role of an elder sister. For how she failed to attend Feyre's marriage and many other occasions. For all the rude words she spoke to them. For shunning them. She apologised for being self consumed. For everything else.
She also promised. To try harder. To become better. To be a good sister and sister-in-law. To be with them at all times, especially when they needed her. And they listened.
โI know these words aren't enough, but I'll try to make it so,โ she finished, her hands clasped with both her sisters on her sides.
โYou said you'll try, Nesta. We will too,โ Feyre said.
โI see a very bright future ahead of us,โ Elain said.
Nesta couldn't help the tears anymore. She folded her arms around her sisters and tucked them close. Her sisters. Her beloved sisters she now knew she'd do anything to protect.
โI see a very bright future too,โ Nesta said.
Nesta pulled back after what felt like an hour and looked at her sisters' tear-streaked faces.
โI love you,โ the three of them said simultaneously. Nesta giggled. Elain laughed. Feyre stared.
Nesta gently brushed the tears from both of their cheeks. โI don't want to see any of you crying.โ
She hugged them again, willing the hug to convey everything she didn't say out loud.
โNow, now, enough snuggling. We've got a party to attend and people to meet, remember?โ Feyre said.
***
Cassian was anxious. He had always hoped Nesta, his sister-in-law, would come for the gatherings they had; be it family dinners, or birthday parties, or the random meetings they had when they just got tipsy and played games. He hadn't seen her face-to-face before. All he knows about Nesta are from the descriptions from Feyre and Elain. That, too, was minimal. One of them would quickly change the topic to something pleasant the moment traces of an emotional breakdown were visible. Every time he hoped, he was let down. She never came. He vowed he would stop hoping and instead just go about and act as if she didn't exist. But that never happened. Every time his family met, his treacherous heart would start hoping only to have a chunk of it fall off when she failed to attend. Today was no different.
Then thereโs the woman who heโd been talking to the whole afternoon. He was a tangled up mess of emotions and doubt and confusion. He had been sort-of pining after Nesta. She was exactly the person heโd like. Apparently she was drop-dead gorgeous, witty andโฆ feral. Feyre said that. Feral. Sheโd be someone worth seeing. She was totally a worthy opponent. Itโd be fun. But the other woman? Mother above, she was ethereal. More than ethereal, in fact. Words can't contain what he had to say about her.
He was damn near killing Az for calling him right when they were about to exchange names. He really can't believe he was a hairsbreadth away from knowing her before it was all ripped away. Now they were back to square one. He didn't know anything about her.
Azriel clapped him on his back so hard that he almost stumbled and fell. Or probably that was because he was too distracted. โAll good Somm?โ
โMmm-hmm,โ he replied noncommittally. He busied his hands with re-rinsing the champagne flutes and wiping them clean again. He did this two times already. Still.
โMood is sour today, Cass?โ Az teased, mock-frowning.
โNah,โ Cassian said wryly, โit's as sweet as honeydew. Especially today, when my chat got interrupted.โ He glared at Azriel.
โNow, now, that is a story for another day. For now though, I think I've got something that can cheer up your brooding self.โ
โWhat is it?โ he mumbled.
Az grinned. โNesta is here.โ
***
Feyre and Elain took Nesta on a quick tour around the house. Feyreโs paintings were hung on the walls throughout the whole house. Nesta grimly noticed that there wasn't a single picture of her. There were even paintings of their father whose heart had long stopped beating. But none of hers. If only she didnโt push herself away, Nesta wouldโve been a happy part of her sistersโ lives.
โIโm sorry,โ she whispered. Feyre took her hand in hers. Elain tucked herself to Nestaโs side, wrapping her arms over her slender shoulders.
Nesta already met Mor, a stunning blonde woman, and Amren, a slightly intimidating and short person. Now she only had to meet her brother-in-laws.
โLetโs go meet the boys!โ Elain said brightly.
We walked back to the garden. Feyre seemed to get more and more elated the closer we got to the garden. Huh. Probably falling in love would do that to someone. Anyway, as long as her sisters were happy.
They stepped through the doorway. The garden was decorated with more banners and streamers hung on the back of chairs and on the low branches. Again, it looked opulent in a simple way.
There were three men in the centre of the garden, gathered around a table. They all were slightly similar, broad shouldered, tapered waists, muscular limbs. Three of them wore formal shirts and pants clinging to their frames. The one in the middle was Rhysand, she supposed. She smirked internally. Of course Feyre ended up with this guy. She's got a good taste. Must've gotten it from the oldest sister.
The one on the right, though. His figure felt familiar. Very, very familiar. She couldn't quite put a finger on it yet.
โThe one on the left is Azriel, the one on the right is Cassian,โ Feyre said, and Nesta nodded.
The boys must be really engrossed with their conversation. They hadn't noticed the three of them yet.
The guy she thought was familiar threw his head back and laughed. She gasped. That laugh. She'd know the laugh anywhere. Indeed, when he angled his face so that she could get a glimpse, she knew she was done for. She swallowed with much difficulty.
โI need to go,โ she said quickly.
โGo? Butโ but we haven't cut the cake yet. It's still early. We've got lots more fun stuff,โ Elain said.
โYou said you'll try, Nesta. Only, this doesn't feel like 'trying',โ Feyre said.
โY-yeah it's f-fine. Kinda. My head hurts,โ she said, accidentally clutching her stomach. โI-I mean, yeah my head hurts. Very badly. I gotta go.โ She looked helplessly at both of them. โI'm so sorry. I really am. It's justโ I think I need rest. I'll recompense. Probably dinner in three days?โ They both shared a look and agreed.
Nesta was already walking away. โLove you both,โ she threw over her shoulder.
***
โFeyre!โ Rhys called. He beckoned Feyre and Elain to the table. He didn't see Nesta.
Cassian lightly kissed Feyre on her cheek once they made their way to the table and said, โGorgeous as always. Happy anniversary!โ
Feyre grinned, but it showed traces of disappointment.
He frowned. โHey, what's wrong?โ
She just shook her head and mumbled, โNesta.โ Rhys's face hardened. His brother was never fond of Nesta. He said that she was why Feyre was always worried.
โWhere's Nesta?โ Az asked, craning his neck to see behind farther.
โSheโฆ left,โ Elain pointed, revealing a figure disappearing behind the gates. A figure he knew all too well. Shitshitshitshit.
His head snapped back to his brothers. โThat is Nesta?โ he damn near shouted.
Rhys scowled, โYeah.โ
No wonder why she's so beautiful, he thought dumbly before running after her with a quick โI'll be back.โ
***
Nesta was wrong. In all her happiness of being reunited with her sisters, she completely forgot how even a small thing can break one's smile. She felt like she couldn't breathe. She kept her calm demeanour, but inside, she was a raging storm of emotions.
One step in front of the other, she kept reminding herself.
She kept walking. Even when she heard footsteps. Even when the steps got louder. Even as he got close enough to cease running.
But not when he called her name. She halted. Locked up her emotions. She knew she shouldn't but she turned around anyway.
โWhat do you want?โ she snapped.
โNesta,โ he breathed. She tried to hold back her shudder. It was from the night air, she told herself.
โIf you have nothing to say, do let me know. I'm not going to wait forever,โ she said. Harsher than she intended to. But she didn't care, at least, that's what she told herself.
Cassian winked, โI'm honored you came, sweetheart. I'll pass the credit to my influence on you. โ
She ground her teeth against the truth threatening to fall off her lips. Yes, I came here because you made me happy. And I thought that if I tried, as I did with you, I can rebuild my relationship with my sisters.
***
Cassian did something stupid. He grabbed her hand. Her eyes snapped to his, burning with anger. Like the day they first met.
He gave her a crooked grin that he knew would drive her mad. Well, more than she already was. He tilted his head to the garden, โThe party is that way, love.โ
She snatched back her hand at continued walking. Like a fool, he followed. โI spoke to my sisters. Told them I won't be staying tonight. And that we'll have dinner in three day's time. Does that satisfy you? Now, can you stop following me?โ
โSomething's wrong. What's wrong, Nes?โ
โOne,โ she ground out, โdon't call me that. Two, I'm a grown-ass woman; I know how to take care of myself. I don't need a babysitter.โ
โYou did. That day,โ he said quietly.
She whirled on him, โIs this you taking back favours? Because I'm not interested. You want money? Take it. Tell me your price and fucking take it! Don't tread on my heels because you helped me, okay? I've got way better things to do.โ She paused, โAnd don't follow me, Cassian.โ
She turned and stalked away.
You want money? Take it. 'Take it.' As if he were a beggar, asking for alms. As if they weren't laughing at each other's jokes not more than an hour ago. As if he didn't spend a week taking care of her as if she were a part of his soul. Maybe she was.
But that was before, Cassian thought as his heart cleaved into two perfect halves. Noโ it smashed to a million tiny pieces.
He waited till Nesta was out of his line of sight. He turned and walked back to the garden, leaving his heart behind.
A/N: I know I haven't been able to update as fast as you'd want me to but I'll try to fix that. Your comments and feedbacks are very much appreciated. Do inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!
Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.
Trigger Warnings: None really
1652words | Incorrect Order Masterlist | Read on AO3
The best way to keep whatever problems one has out of their mind was to do something they liked. That was the only way Cassian kept from spiraling. Since sending the woman to her own house, Cassian had more than a few moments when he wanted to repeatedly slam his head against a wall. Thatโs why he spent most of his time sparring with Azriel. He wonโt admit he was simping for that woman in his free time too. Or maybe that was always.
Now, sprawled on a couch in front of the TV, with nothing to do but stare at a blank screen, Cassian led his thoughts to the box he kept all unwanted thoughts locked in. He thought about Tomas, her ex-boyfriend. Funny, he thought. I know her ex's name but not hers.
It took him a little too long the other day to realise they didn't exchange names. Again. He once thought that maybe she was purposely not giving him her name. That maybe, for her, he was just a random stranger who happened to save her life. He snorted. Surely anyone would know the name of the person they saved or was saved byโ stranger or not. He supposed he'll have to make do with pronouns for now.
After she left his home, it took every scrap of self-restraint not to beat this Tomas dude to pulp and let him rot in the same alley he had the misfortune of meeting him in. He may or may not have been the cause for some extra injuries. Cassian appreciated the womanโs attempt at mercy. He, however, didnโt trust Tomas at all. He was dubious about just handing him over to the police. Whoโs to know he wonโt frame him and the woman for absurd things? Anyway, he left a note in Tomasโs house saying something like โStep out of line, lose your favourite part of anatomy. Name it and have it for your meal.โ He made sure he printed so that no one would recognise his writing. Yet, all this didnโt calm his nerves one bit. He presumed heโll have to stay on guard for some time now.
Now, back to the girl. He sighed. He didnโt dare change the sheets in his guest bedroom. He didnโt even let Mor use the room when she came over last weekendโ which he could bet created suspicion. No, that room was only open when he craved her scent. He even realised one of his shirts was missing. He shrugged it off thinking he would've left it somewhere and just couldn't find it. Once she came to his house, he was constantly thinking about her. So much that now he started pinching himself often. It was the only way he could stop thinking about herโ by creating physical pain.
Cassian glanced at the clock on the wall. 2.30 in the afternoon. He walked to the refrigerator and checked his freezer compartment. Huh. No ice-cream. He sighed, grabbed his jacket and keys and headed to the mall to get an ice-cream with a pout. Heโll have to leave for Rhys and Feyreโs first anniversary only around 5.30 to prepare everything. He has enough time to get an ice-cream and probably hang out for some time. Good enough to stop thinking about her. Or so he thought.
***
Nesta wasnโt sore anymore. Her headache was gone almost a week after the incident. Her nose didnโt hurt anymore. Okay, maybe a little bit. It didnโt hurt unless she bumped her nose against something. Today, her nose was dully throbbing because she hit her nose against a pillow yesterday. A very, very soft pillow and yet it hurt this much.
The manโs first-aid and medicines were really helpful.
It really wasnโt fair that he excelled at basic first aid too. It wasnโt fair that he looked so good. With black tattoos swirling over generously muscled arms and shoulder-length dark hair curling at the edges and gloriously tanned skin and hazel eyes with minute flecks of green and brown when taken a closer look at and dimples andโ
A quiet โWho is it?โ snapped Nesta out of her moping. She looked up to see Gwyn walking to her.
โWho is what?โ she asked, feigning nonchalance. Gwyn's pursed lips and glare conveyed that her act wasn't enough.
โWho are you thinking about?โ Gwyn clarified.
โWhat makes you think I'm thinking about someone?โ Nesta retorted.
Gwyn sat on the chair next to her and started assisting with classifying the unceremonious heap of books on the table to be kept back in its correct positions on its own rack.
โNesta,โ Gwyn sighed, โClotho assigned you this stack almost an hour ago. And you've barely finished a third of the stack. Normally, you'd finish stacks bigger than this in an hour. So there's clearly something.โ
โIt wasn't anyone,โ Nesta mumbled.
As usual, Gwyn saw through her lie. โYou were twirling your hair,โ she said flatly.
Heat inched up her neck. โI was not!โ
Gwyn murmured a โuh-huhโ and they lapsed into an easy silence till they were almost over.
Gwyn's eyes lit up as it normally did whenever she got an idea. โIs it him? The guy you came with that day?โ
Nesta scowled, โHow do you knowโฆโ she broke off when she realised which 'that day' Gwyn was talking about. Nesta fought back a blush. โNo, no, this isn't about him. We don't know each other. Much. Like, we've seen each other a number of times? That's it. Nothing else.โ Cauldron, the first part was a complete lie. But at least the rest are true. Will Gwyn happen to know his name? Maybe I ought to ask her. Or maybe I shouldn't.
She should, she decided. She cleared her throat. โUh, Gwyn? Do you happen to know his name?โ
Gwyn frowned and asked, โHe hasn't told you yet?โ
Nesta shook her head and answered, โNo, we, uh, forgot. I guess. We haven't really exchanged names.โ
Gwyn nodded and smiled. โWell, he isโโ
โGwyn!โ a voice called. โYou can't expect me to come over to you and beg for you to help me. Help me only if you want to or don't work under me.โ
Gwynโs eyes widened. She abruptly stood up and mouthed, โMerrill. I gotta go. Iโm so sorry.โ She all but ran to Merrill, the very strict librarian Gwyn was working under.
Nesta sighed and continued her work. There wasnโt much left so she was able to finish fast. She picked her things and left the library with a word to Clotho, heading to the mall.
***
The best way to keep whatever problems one has out of their mind was to also eat something they liked. So, ice-cream it was. After having his ice-cream, Cassian was aimlessly walking around the mall. Here, not more than a month ago, he met her for the first time. Almost a month ago. He huffed out a breath. The fact that he was pining for her this long blew his mind off. Heโ
โThis is your faultโ not mine. Iโm not taking the blame for this,โ he told her. They bumped into each other. Again.
Her lips quirked up. โIt is kind of my fault. But blame thisโ,โ she poked his chest, โโ for making my nose hurt again.โ
Just like that, his mood sobered. โHow are you?โ he asked.
She pointed at the cafe to her left. โCoffee?โ
He nodded. Who was he to say no to her?
So they ordered coffee and talked about everything and nothing. He grinned and she laughed. He laughed and she smirked. He wouldnโt say he knew her well but heโd never seen her so carefree. Her laugh was like nectar for a starving man. Her eyes bright and welling up with tears from laughing.
โI donโt think Iโve laughed this much,โ she said.
Cassian put a hand on his heart dramatically and said, โI know, I know. Iโm very funny.โ
Her lips kicked up a notch. She straightened as if she just realised something. He was about to ask when she drawled, โSo I just realised that we still havenโt exchanged names.โ
Oh. Right. Of course. โYeah,โ he nodded. โUsually, when people meet, they start with introductions but in our case weโve literally bumped into each other three times and still we donโt know each other.โ He shook his head and extended his hand. โWell, hello there. Iโmโโ
His phone rang in his pocket. Fuck. He was going to kill whoever was calling him now. He was so close to knowing her name. He pulled out his phone to see an incoming call from Azriel. He apologetically looked up at her and said, โIโm sorry. I wish I could choose not to take this call and instead kill this idiot but I canโt. Just give me a moment, okay?โ
She nodded and he picked up his call.
โWhat do you want?โ he hissed.
โItโs 5.30 already, you idiot. Weโve got to get the things ready for the party. Mor already went to get the cake and youโre not even at home. Where on all earth and hell are you?โ came Azโs faint voice.
โ15 minutes only? Mother above, Iโm coming.โ he said.
Azโs โmake it fastโ was the last thing he heard before hanging up. โI wish we could stay here and talk forever,โ he said to her, โbut I have something up in a short while and I totally didnโt realise time was passing this fast. Iโm so sorry. It was nice talking to you. Really. And I wish we could meet again. Though without the bumping part.โ
He grinned when she smiled and said, โBye. Have a nice day.โ
โYou too,โ he called back. He didnโt want to think he imagined the subtle look of disappointment on her face because hell, he was a walking epitome of disappointment right now.
All characters belong to SJM and there is some original writing taken from ACOSF towards the end.
--------------------------
Two days later Nesta braved seeing Cassian again. She had her hormones under control thanks to a tonic from Madja, for both their protection. He was at his usual place, sitting staring out in the direction of the Illyrian mountains.
A rueful smile graced his beautiful features as he turned his head sensing her approach. As he attempted to rise, Nesta's hand pushed his shoulder down, his wings twitched to keep his balance on the wall.
"Have you been practicing your Valkyrie mind stilling techniques?" Nesta enquired softly as she clambered over to join him. "Yes," he rumbled back, "It's definitely helping. When I sleep, my dreams are of him. His life was long and hard, but eventually found love. With you."
Nesta resisted the urge to cheer, merely stating that it was good progress. They sat in silence for a while, just letting the breeze drift over themselves.
โIโm sorry thatโฆ'' He was cut off quickly. โDonโt be sorry. Just donโt. It takes two, and we both know that.โ She never took her eyes off his face.
โThank you. Although my dreams also showed a tougher side to you. You didnโt have it easy at all.โ His expression was wistful, with a hint of anger. โBut we found each other,โ she reminded him softly. A grunt was the only response to that.
Nestaโs eyes drifted to the wall where his large hand was moving.
"What are you doing?" Nesta's voice tried to hide concern.
"Tapping my fingers." He sounded amused again. Nesta's eyes widened, "I'll see you at dinner." She sprinted off to find Mor because her help was certainly needed.
The blonde fae had been in the library catching up with Clotho when Nesta finally found her and told her what she thought and was planning to do next. She frowned again, โAre you absolutely sure?โ This was the third time of asking and Nesta did give in to the urge to roll her eyes. โDo you honestly think that I would make such a mis-judgement? Me of all people?โ Mor observed her for a few more seconds, gauging not the sincerity of what Cassianโs mate was saying, but the absolute certainty.
โAlright. Iโm in. When do we start?โ Morโs eyes were sparkling with renewed enthusiasm. Working together with the blonde fae was so much better than the constant snarking which had marred their relationship for too long. On the balance of events, it was good that Feyre had Mor in the same way she had Emerie and Gwyn. Better to be good sisters without the added weight of being best friends as well.
โTomorrow after breakfast.โ Nesta couldnโt stop a small smirk of hope rising. Mor thought about squeezing her shoulder and then decided not to push her luck.
โJust make sure itโs not too heavy!โ Clothoโs shoulders heaved in silent laughter as the frost between the two females continued to thaw, writing appearing in her book. Iโm not sure who will find it the hardest. But we all wish you the best of luck in your success. Nesta and Mor looked at each other and then laughed, before inclining their heads to the ancient fae and moved off to prepare for tomorrowโs event.
******************************
The next day Cassian found himself in a large room with wooden flooring and a mirror taking up the entirety of one wall. Nesta and Mor were there in dance shoes, leggings and tight-ish tops. He wasn't sure where to look. Nesta and Mor shared a sad smile, the Cassian of old would absolutely and definitely be looking at everything on offer. The comments and suggestive looks would have been flowing freely as well.
Mor walked over to him, offered a friendly smile, and then started shoving his arms and legs into different positions. โToday, weโre going to dance.โ The blonde nodded at Nesta who pressed the symphonia that he had got her for the Solstice. Mor guided him through the basic steps, which he faltered at but improved slowly as time went on.
Nesta watched with supreme focus. The movements were similar to his combat skills, just bringing back muscle memory to the front of his mind. The tapping was the same beat as the first dance they had done, after Cassian had cut in after the three dances with Eris. She recalled how her mate had finally admitted to having dancing lessons with Mor to be ready to sweep off her feet.
Gentler, kinder, easier days? Absolutely not, but Nesta would live through the pain all over again if it meant being reunited with Cassian again.
She forced herself to focus on Morโs practising with Cassian. Every now and again he caught her looking across to her with a questioning look, but each time with a steadily increasing dawn of realisation. After they had hit a certain point which he couldnโt progress from, Nesta stepped in as the male lead so he could see precisely what he should be doing.
By the end of the day they were all sweating profusely.
โThat was way harder than it looks.โ Cassian was spreadeagled on his back, chest heaving for air. โThis body is fit, but stillโฆ.you two make it look effortless.โ Mor and Nesta were equally tired and covered in perspiration, grace and lightness took a damned load of effort.
Mor spoke first, โTomorrow, leave the armour behind and bring lighter clothes. Youโre going to have a big enough job as it is mopping this up before you leave.โ
โMe?โ His look turned incredulous, in such a reflection of her Cassian that Nesta was torn between the desire to laugh or cry. โYes, you. Most of this mess is yours anway!โ There was a bit of bite in her tone, but not a lot.
โCruel females!โ But he picked himself up with a laugh. And then stopped dead as he looked at himself in the mirror. A shadow passed over his eyes, โAlmost, almost.โ His voice was so quiet that the females strained to hear him. โYou two go and freshen up while I clean up here.โ Mor looked like she wanted to stay but Nesta tugged her away.
โI think weโre close.โ Nesta nodded to Morโs whisper as hope built in her heart. For the next two days they practised, always Mor with Cassian or Nesta, never those two together. His dancing grew more and more fluid, eyes now constantly on Nesta as he whirled around with Mor.
********************************
At lunch on the fourth day he was highly agitated, Mor flicked her eyes to Nesta. Itโs time.
Nesta left feeling Cassianโs eyes burning golden holes into her back.
Mor swung into the next part of the plan, ensuring he had a shower and was dressed in new, dry clothes. Then they waited for Nesta. The rustling of skirts sounded her entrance, Mor adjusted the fae lights to create a darker, more intimate atmosphere. Nesta walked in.
Nesta in Night Court black threatened to bring him to his knees.
Sheโd braided her hair over her head in her usual style, but atop it, a delicate tiara of glinting black stone rested, slender spikes jutting upward in a dark corona. Each spike was topped with a tiny sapphire, as if the spikes were so sharp theyโd pierced the sky and drawn cobalt blood.
And the dress โฆ
Silver thread embroidered the skintight velvet bodice, the straps so narrow they might as well have been nothing against her moon-white skin. The neckline plunged nearly to her navel, where the silver thread gathered to hold a small sapphire that matched the ones on her crown. The full skirts brushed the dark floor, rustling in the rippling silence.
Nestaโs chin remained high, accentuating her long, lovely neck. Her red-painted lips cocked in a feline smirk as her kohl-lined eyes took in the room watching her every breath.
Nesta seemed to glow with the attention. Owned it. Commanded it. Cassian stepped forward to offer his hand. From somewhere music started, Mor left the room.
Nesta slipped her hand into his, their calluses rasping against each other. His hand slid around her waist, so large it spanned nearly halfway across. She gathered her skirts, and lifted her gaze to his.
Nesta fell back a step, leading him, them, into the dance, and Cassian went with her.
He kept up, willing to follow her into the music, into the sound and the movement, and his eyes did not, would not, leave her face.
Their steps quickened, and Cassian found his rhythm.
He spun her, and she whipped herself around, his arms waiting to catch her.
His hand on her waist tightened, his only warning as he launched them further, faster into the music. Cassian smiled at her, and the world faded away.
The music was no longer the most beautiful thing in existence. He was.
Nesta couldnโt stop it then.
The answering smile that bloomed through her at last, stealing across her face, bright as the dawn.
He stopped them as the music continued to play. โNesta,โ he breathed, โIโm back. Itโs me Cassian, your mate.โ
There in the darkened room as the music continued to play, Nesta and Cassian held each other as they were reunited. Tears streaked down their faces for a good long while. Then they danced again.
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