praeterita desideriis

hwang semi. twenty seven. administrative assistant. the ex girlfriend. the scorned lover. the hopeless romantic. the yearner. the bookworm. the quiet one.

[desiderlum]

happy holidays, everyone! I hope you're getting to rest and relax and be cozy and warm. if you don't celebrate, I hope the end of the year is treating you well! I hope 2026 is soft and kind in every way to everyone here and I'm so excited to plot and write with you all 🩷💓

[desiderlum]

@elycianist i'll be your warmth.

dark eyes rove over a familiar but forgotten building. the snowy hideout brings so many buried emotions to the surface that the woman wonders if coming was a mistake. no, it isn't a mistake, she tells herself. the real mistake would've been declining the invite, leaving her best friend alone in her grief when the burden could be shared and the intensity lightened. with her luggage in hand, she gingerly opens the front door and pushes inside, away from the bitter cold and bitter truths. it's warm and inviting within but something still feels off. she sets down her belongings and looks around, trying to avoid acknowledging the ghosts that haunt the shadows of the lodge.

she misses haneul. she had since they broke up. for so long she felt like the ghost that haunted his life, always lingering, ever present. her close relationship with his sister, with people that were his friends, kept her chained with invisible shackles. but now she had been set free and it was more painful than she could've imagined. she swallowed, pushing the pain down, and decided this trip wasn't going to be about her. it was going to be for hana. for the sister she had gained.

she slowly makes her way through the lodge, looking for hana, for her rock. upon locating her, her face lights up and she holds her arms out, ready to embrace her. "hana!" she squeaks, wrapping her arms around the other woman tightly. "I feel like it's been forever!" in truth it had only been a few weeks at most but the two rarely went a few days without seeing each other so the time had felt agonizingly long. it was dizzying how quickly you could grow accustomed to someone's presence and even more startling how large the hole left in the absence could feel once you had.

"was the trip okay? i'm sorry I couldn't make it with you. hopefully hajun was good enough company?" she teased with a tender smile.

[desiderlum]

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[desiderlum]

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[desiderlum]

✧ 𝅄 ׁ ˳ sorry i'm so late guys! work is a little wonky for me this time of year and also finals. oof. anywho, i'm veebs and i bring you the ex girlfriend, semi hwang. she's an administrative assistant with undiagnosed ocd and thought she'd spend the rest of her life with haneul. for her, he was the one who got away. she wanted to settle down and get serious about the future, he didn't so the two split amicably but she kind of stayed around in his life, being thick as thieves with his sister hana. below the cut will be a bit more about her and this weekend i'll officially get her pages up so it can be easier to locate. i'm available on discord for plotting as well if you'd like that better, since tumblr dms can be a bit janky. feel free to like this if you'd like me to come bother you with plotting! i'm so excited to get to write with you guys and really flesh out this story! 🩷

born to a lower middle class family, semi was the middle child and always felt sort of invisible in her household. she wasn't unloved or neglected, it was just easy to get lost between the shuffle of three kids and family and every day life.

her older sister was beautiful and brilliant, her younger brother was naturally great at sports and charismatic. she was the quiet bookworm who spent more time daydreaming than much of anything else.

she did well in school but not to the level of her sister so it was often overshadowed.

met haneul a little after she turned 20 through a party her sister dragged her to and was instantly smitten at how he was everything she wasn't. he made her feel seen, made her feel interesting, made her feel special. to him, she wasn't in anyone's shadow.

the two split amicably when semi wanted to get more serious and really plan things out, something haneul wasn't really about, especially at that point in his life.

she stayed in the parameters of his life due to her sisterlike bond with hana and the two were cordial but there was always that sense of yearning, that pang of what could be when semi saw him with other women.

the news of haneul's death hit her very hard and she spiraled a bit but used her usual tactic of pushing it down deep and avoiding her own emotions by distracting herself with work and being there for hana.

she came to seolhwa out of guilt for their last words being at each other in anger and wishing to never see him again and out of duty to hana.

personality wise:

semi is very much meek and a people pleaser and afraid of confrontation. she's always been called mousy and told to fight for herself more. she's kind and loyal to a fault but also desperately needs control and things to go the way she planned it or she panics. you could say she's a little neurotic and overly sensitive and she'll often fold to whoever is the most dominant in the room to keep the peace. she makes lists and is very much the mom friend, always prepared and bordering on overbearing but it's her love language. people are surprised to find out she's a fan of hiking and rock climbing and was actually very active with haneul when the two were together but she switched to yoga and cycling after his death. she very much believes physical things are great for clearing the mind and getting out anger. anyway, I've been ranting too long and i'm sorry for that!!

[nixscriptum]