levusha replied to your post:*wakes up drenched in sweat* MC Hammer is a…
Stanley Kirk Burrell, better known under his pseudonym MC Hammer, exhibits various traits that can be seen as evidence of his godly heritage. He is best known for his hit “U Can’t Touch This”, as well as his flashy choreography, ability to communicate with marine animals and eponymous Hammer pants. Numerous witness have also claimed to see him talk to the ocean with a certain familiarity in his tone, as if he was trying to talk to a relative or loved one. MC Hammer has also covered the Prince song “Soft & Wet”, in which the singer proclaims his affinity for girls that are both soft and wet. The wetness aspect of this song alludes to his true descent: the son of Poseidon, Greek god of the ocean and all its inhabitants. Although many listeners simply thing he enjoys girls that are wet in a perverse manner, to the keen listener with knowledge of demigods and Greek mythology, it is clear that Hammer means Oceanids and other marine-based women.
In the TV show “M.C. Hammer and Friends”, Hammer performs as a preacher on this Christian ministry program on TBN. This religious nature is perhaps evidence of Hammer coming to term with his descent, and like many demigods, he has a hard time processing it. Turning to religion for comfort is not unexpected for a demigod. It is, however, curious that he would turn to Christianity of all religions, but there are very few people who worship Greek gods nowadays, mostly because they are outdated and cannot keep up with the time. Still, their stories have persisted through the ages, and there is little doubt that MC Hammer is educated about Greek mythology.
Furthermore, Hammer has had associated acts with numerous artists that further hint at his true descent and nature. He has collaborated with rapper Vanilla Ice, and as we all know, ice is the solid form of water. Some experts speculate that Vanilla Ice is actually a messenger of Poseidon, but no compelling evidence to support this claim has been shown yet. Still, Hammer may subconsciously be drawn to Vanilla Ice’s water-associated name.
Another piece of evidence that can be offered to support the theory that MC Hammer is a demigod is his place of birth: Stanley Kirk Burrell was born in California, which is one of the handful of United States that is connected directly to the ocean. It makes sense for a child of Poseidon to be located near the sea. This way, Poseidon could more easily communicate with his offspring.
The opposition has presented various counterarguments, the most common of these being that there is no evidence of MC Hammer ever being attacked by monsters, like every other demigod. There is, however, a counter-counterargument I will now present to the opposition, so that they may reconsider their ignorant point of view and realize that they were wrong and that Stanley Kirk Burrell, AKA MC Hammer, is, in fact, a demigod and son of Poseidon, Greek god of the ocean.
The reason why monsters have never attacked MC Hammer is quite simple: they can’t touch this.
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