☆ random mtf detrans thoughts—
detransitioning is fucked up and complicated and scary and not the same for everyone. i think hanging out in tumblr spaces can lead you to develop an extremist view of it; detransitioning means i have to look like a masculine man only, completely stop hrt, present a certain way, have sex a certain way, when that is simply not true.
detransitioning can be whatever you want. i'm detransitioning at the moment, i pass well enough that i haven't been misgendered in 7+ years, but i still want to be called he/him, that's detransition. i don't want to change how i look outside of minor androgyny/adjustments, i don't really want to stop hrt, only lower my dosage or experiment with short bursts of testosterone. i am male but in a way that's undeniably transfem. the guilt can eat away at you but you gotta realise that no one really cares or even thinks about it too much, and it's totally okay for 'boy' to be part of your identity to any, or even constantly changing, extent
i had these thoughts for years (transitioned to a girl at 14, questioning gender for about 4 years now), and it feels so fucking liberating to finally accept is as part of myself without it being this, total thing that's need to be committed to absolutely.
basically, go out there and fuck with your gender, literally no one cares and if you hate it you can always go back
















