Fanfic for the Rizzoli and Isles Secret Santa Exchange 2025
Pairing: Maura Isles/Jane Rizzoli
Summary: Just months after Jane jumped off that bridge, Maura and Jane's relationship has become fraught. Now, days before the BPD's Policemen's New Year's Eve Ball, Jane learns that Maura did not receive an invite. How will Jane rectify this injustice, and better yet, how can Jane mend the rift between herself and Maura?
Gift for @schemmentisimpasours
Author's Note: Hi SchemmentiSimpasours!! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I am so sorry this is late!! I had some family trouble at the end of the year, but here is your gift! I took your prompt about a Rizzles New Year's Kiss and added some signature angst with a classic Boston setting! I hope you like it!!
Jane learned the news in the most innocuous place – the place where Maura and Jane shared their first joke, traded recipes, picked up on each other’s idiosyncrasies, and, most importantly, became friends – over a dead body. Jane was displeased, no more like irate, when Maura told her. Honestly, this was information Jane should have been privy to weeks ago, but after the events that transpired in September, Jane was only learning now.
“Waddya mean you’re not invited?” Jane’s Boston accent always thickened when upset.
Maura sighed, refusing to look up from the thermometer currently sunken into the victim’s liver, “How many reminders must I give you, Jane? I aman employee of the Commonwealth, not the city.”
Jane’s irritation worsened; the plastic gloves covering her hands were the only thing preventing her from placing her hands on her hips. “You can just say ‘state,’ believe me, no one calls it the commonwealth.” Jane over-emphasized the last word, applying a hint of pretentiousness.
That made Maura’s head snap up, “Massachusetts is officially a Commonwealth, and I will refer to it as such.”
“And it’s stupid, we’re probably the only ones in the country.”
“It is not stupid, it derives from English legal traditions, and Massachusetts is one of four commonwealths, alongside Pennsylvania, Kentucky, and Vir-“
“I didn’t ask for a history lesson!” Jane was exacerbated now and stretched up from her squatting position over the body, giving herself physical leverage over Maura. Within seconds, Maura rose to a standing position as well, a dead body still lying between them.
Jane shook her head, “This is besides the point, I want to know why you were not invited to the Policeman’s Ball.”
Maura pursed her lips tightly, “I was not invited because I am not employed by Boston Police Department; I am employed by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.”
“But you’re practically payin’ for it,” Jane’s hands and volume shot up to accompany her point.
Maura gave Jane a piercing glare, “Will you stop announcing that information. I give to BPD anonymously, and I would like my donations to remain that way.” Maura leaned down to collect her medical bag and motioned to a lab tech to ready the body for transport back to the coroner’s office. Careful to step around the body, Jane followed Maura as she went back to her car.
The look on Maura’s face alone forced Jane to correct her words.
“So someone paid, presumably thousands of dollars to BPD, so BPD could host their policemen’s ball at the top of the Prudential Center on New Year’s Eve, and they didn’t even get an invite? For the party they are practically shellin’ out for.”
“Yes,” Maura responded simply.
Jane was dumbfounded, “and you’re not even upset?”
“Jane, for the final time, I do not want to discuss this issue again. The policemen’s ball is for employees of Boston’s police department. I do not work for BPD, therefore, I did not get an invite.”
Maura went to open the door to her Prius as a final punctuation mark on this conversation, but Jane held the door shut. Maura was about to ask Jane to remove her hand when Jane spoke.
“So, what are you doin’ for New Year’s instead?”
A sudden gust of cold wind swept between the two women. Unable to push her hair out of her face due to her arms full of notes and medical equipment, Maura shook her head in an attempt to reposition her hair. If this were before September, Jane would have been more than willing to tuck those strands of hair behind Maura’s ears. But it was that awkward week at the end of December, in-between Christmas and before the new year, and Maura and Jane had not had that type of relationship for a few months now, so Jane’s right hand remained by her side.
“The Boston Lyric Opera is hosting its annual gala; it’s been a while since I’ve been in attendance.”
Jane let her lips form into a smirk at the mention of the opera. Maura twisted her arm into attending a concert of theirs years ago, and needless to say, while Maura was thoroughly entertained, it left a lot to be desired by Jane’s standards. Jane saw the perfect opportunity for a playful jab, one she would have made without hesitation before September, “They must be hurtin’ for money if you haven’t gone to one of their fundraisers in a while.”
Maura was utterly unamused, her mouth forming into a hard line, an expression Jane had seen a lot of in recent months.
“I accompanied all of my regretful denials of attendance with a check for 20K, so no, I believe the BLO has been doing just fine in my absence.”
Before September, Maura would have never mentioned her abundance of wealth in such a callous manner. Before September, Maura would have taken Jane’s comment in stride and would have attempted her own joke back or made an adorable comment about her love for Boston’s operettic association. Before September, they wouldn’t have even needed to have this conversation in the first place because Jane would have already been fully aware of Maura’s New Year’s Eve plans. But September happened, Jane made that decision, and the mirth in Maura’s eyes had completely frozen over, leaving a strained relationship in its wake, a relationship Jane was desperate to fix. Despite all of Jane’s attempts, Maura had utterly refused Jane’s attempts to mend their friendship, held Jane at arm’s length, and now – apparently – was obnoxiously flaunting her wealth.
To Jane’s credit, she let the obvious jab roll off her back, “I still think it’s ridiculous you aren’t invited to the policeman’s ball.”
“It’s fine, Jane. I’m not upset, and you shouldn’t be either on my behalf.”
At that moment, Korsak jogged up to the two women, oblivious to their rather tense conversation.
Korsak took a moment to catch his breath before saying, “There you are, Jane, uniforms found a witness, figured we should interview them together.”
Jane completely ignored Korsak’s request, “Did you know she isn’t invited to the Policemen’s Ball?” Jane jerked a thumb in Maura’s direction.
Korsak's eyes darted between the two women before responding, “No, but it makes sense, I don’t think, BPD wants to show any favoritism towards our state colleagues. Medical examiners haven’t been invited in the past. I don’t see why this year would be any different.”
“But that’s Maura!” Jane couldn’t understand why others were not as bothered about this.
“Jane,” Maura hissed, “will you please let this go?”
Jane took a step back, physically impacted by Maura’s harsh tone, and Maura took her opportunity to finally open her car door.
Before slipping into the passenger seat, Maura addressed Korsak, “I will have the autopsy completed by the end of the day.”
Korsak gave Maura a placid smile, “I have no doubt that you will.” Korsak waved Maura off with a little mock salute.
“Can you believe that?” Jane motioned to Maura’s car as she pulled away from the crime scene.
“That Maura is going to complete an autopsy? Seein’ that she’s the chief medical examiner, yeah, yeah I can.”
Jane rolled her eyes, “Don’t be a smartass, old man, I mean that Maura isn’t invited to the policemen’s ball.”
Korsak shrugged and started ushering Jane away from the empty space no longer occupied by Maura’s Prius, hoping to get her focused on the crime scene.
Jane wasn’t so easily deterred, “It’s honestly a slap in the face. To Maura, I mean.”
“Maura didn’t look that broken-hearted to me,” Korsak responded to placate Jane.
Still, Jane persisted, “They’re treating her like she’s not even a member of our team.”
“Technically, she’s not a member of BPD.”
Korsak held up a hand, cutting Jane off from another rebuttal, “Look, Jane, I agree with you, Maura probably should be invited, but she didn’t seem to care. And we have bigger fish to fry, we have a dead body and a potential witness, can we focus on that instead?”
If there was one word to describe Jane Rizzoli, it was obstinate, but Korsak found Jane’s only weakness – her dedication to her job. Jane swallowed her next remark and instead said, “You’re right, let’s go talk to that witness.”
And thus, Jane let the fact that BPD’s highest donor and most brilliant M.E. was not invited to the New Year’s Eve policemen’s ball go. For fifteen minutes.
After the witness had been interviewed, Jane brought it up again.
“I just can’t believe the brass couldn’t even give Maura the courtesy.”
And again, when they were collecting evidence.
“I mean, they are treating her like she’s nothing.”
And again, when she and Korsak climbed into her unmarked.
“You know, it’s just like BPD to pull somethin’ like this and not invite Maura because of ‘optics’.” Jane embellished that complaint with sarcastic air quotes.
Throughout the years, Korsak had put up with a lot of Rizzoli bullshit, from all three Rizzolis he was intimately familiar with, and that’s how he knew it was time to finally push back.
“You know Jane, if you quit your bitchin’ for five seconds, you might see the rather obvious solution.”
“Oh yeah,” Jane said, “and what’s that?”
“We all got plus ones; make Maura yours.” When Jane did not immediately respond, Korsak added, “Return the favor, you know, for all of the charity events she dragged your ass to.”
Jane remained silent, mulling over Korsak’s words in her head. He wasn’t wrong. This was rather the obvious solution. If Maura was not directly invited by BPD, then well, Jane could use her never-utilized plus one she was always granted for the policeman’s ball. Yet Jane hesitated.
Jane seldom hesitated, not with her career, and certainly not with Maura. But that was before September. Before September, Maura greeted Jane with an easy smile. Before September, Maura waited patiently by the elevator at exactly the time Jane took her lunch break, so they could eat lunch together. Before September, Maura bounced into Jane’s apartment without an invitation because she never needed one. There was never a question of whether Maura would be there, because she already was, beside Jane at every moment in her life. That was life before September, before Jane threw herself, without thought, without hesitation, off a bridge into the Charles River and nearly killed herself (all in pursuit of embodying the thin blue line, of course).
But Maura didn’t see it that way.
Maura initially accepted Jane’s apology, especially after Jane accompanied it with Maura’s favorite perfume within Jane’s budget (which she still spent upwards of $400 on), but in the days leading from the bridge incident, Maura pulled away from Jane.
Gone were the belly laughs and sweet smiles over shared meals. Gone was the ease of a Saturday just spent lounging on the couch together under a shared blanket. And most heartbreakingly, gone was the closeness Jane had spent years fostering between the two of them. Now, all Maura greeted Jane with was a distant stare. There was no one waiting for Jane by the elevator anymore, and Jane couldn’t even hazard a guess for the last time she and Maura had seen each other outside of work.
Jane missed Maura terribly, so much it ached. And she had no idea how to fix it.
“Jane?” Korsak asked, still by her side, drawing her out of her reflections.
Jane shook her head, trying to physically push these thoughts away, “Yeah, I’ll see if she wants to be my plus one.”
Back at headquarters, Jane wasted no time in heading towards the morgue. The second the unmarked claimed a spot in the parking garage, she practically sprinted towards the elevator that would deliver her to the basement.
Within minutes, she was poised outside of Maura’s office, the windows unblocked, so Jane could see Maura perched at her desk. Maura’s blonde hair was tussled, an indication that Maura had already completed the autopsy and let her hair down to complete the report, equipped with her designer outfit, rather than her plain scrubs.
Jane sucked in a deep breath and knocked on the door, another post-September addition to her daily actions.
Maura looked up at the noise and ushered Jane in with a flit of her hand. Before Jane had even opened the door to Maura’s office, Maura’s head was already buried in her paperwork.
“I haven’t finished the autopsy yet, Jane,” Maura said without pausing for pleasantries.
Jane’s pace to Maura’s desk slowed, as if she were approaching an agitated suspect. Jane’s instincts were yelling at her to snap back at Maura, but she was tired of this animosity between them, which always seemed to add a sharp edge to all their conversations.
Jane attempted a different approach, “That’s OK, I wasn’t lookin’ for it anyway.”
Still refusing to acknowledge Jane, Maura addressed her paperwork instead, “Then why are you here?”
Jane had to physically bite her tongue to prevent her initial reaction, which ended up hurting far worse than she expected, distracting Jane from Maura’s apathy. Jane took a second to formulate her words.
“I wanted to talk about the policemen’s ball on New Year’s.”
That got Maura’s attention. Her head shot up, her narrowed eyes quickly meeting Jane’s.
“Didn’t we previously agree that you were going to let this issue rest?”
“Yeah,” Jane said carefully, she could swear she’s had more pleasant hostage negotiations than this conversation, “but Korsak made me think of somethin’ else I want to say.”
“And that would be?” Maura’s hands are crossed against her chest now.
“That I should be takin’ you as my plus one.” Despite the uncomfortable nature of this conversation, Jane couldn’t help but let a small smile dance across her lips.
Maura was rendered speechless, the hard lines of her face dropped, and she contemplated Jane’s proposal. The dead air only made Jane more anxious, so she filled it with her own chatter.
“I know you said that you’ll probably go to that fancy opera thingy instead, but there’s a way you can come to the policemen’s ball with me instead? You can hang out with people you actually know.”
Maura looked away from Jane, her bottom lip caught in her teeth. She looked as if she was genuinely considering saying yes. This was the closest the two had come to spending time together outside of BPD in months, and Jane was desperate for her plans to come to fruition.
Jane threw a Hail Mary, “It gives you a chance to buy a new dress.”
Jane was not sure, but she was a trained detective after all, that she saw the slightest quirk of Maura’s lips.
Maura released her bottom lip, sat back in her seat, and met Jane’s eyes, the green sparkling among the gold, “Are you asking me because you’re incensed that I was not invited to the policemen’s ball in the first place, or do you actually want me there?”
Without hesitation, Jane responded, “Oh, I’m pissed they didn’t invite you.”
Maura deflated, and Jane could see the ice hardening on Maura’s features once again. Before it could freeze, however, Jane risked bending over and placing a hand on Maura’s shoulder.
“But,” Jane continued, once Maura caught her gaze once again, “I would really like you to come with me. Please,” she added, with all the sincerity she could muster, a feat for Jane.
Maura worried her bottom lip once more, and after a beat, all she said was, “Alright.”
Jane celebrated that ‘alright’ harder than the Red Sox World Series win in 2004. The curse was hopefully lifted this time around, too.
Jane picked Maura up from her Beacon Hill home two days later, just past 7:15pm on New Year's Eve. Despite Beacon Hill being only a few short miles between the Prudential Center (always shortened to the Pru in Boston), Jane has lived in Boston long enough to know that Boston is always an hour from well, Boston.
Maura remained silent the entire drive. So far, the only words Jane had managed to eke out of Maura were “hello,” when Maura opened the door, and “thank you,” when Jane complimented Maura’s new full-length gown. She did look absolutely stunning in it. The deep blues and golds effortlessly trailed lines down Maura’s body, accentuating Maura’s breasts, curves, and legs, all the way down to her Louis Vuitton pumps. Jane, in her simple purple dress, the same one she had recycled for this exact event the past four years, looked utterly plebian compared to her date.
Jane shook her head. Date? Where did that phrase come from? Surely, she meant to say plus-one, because that was all this was, especially in the wake of this post-September world. Still, Jane smirked to herself. She was assuredly going to be the envy of the policeman’s ball.
Jane parked her unmarked in the parking garage attached to the Pru, arriving just in time for the ceremony to begin. Jane and Maura were seated at a table with her pod in homicide, Korsak, Cavanaugh, Frankie, and her mother (whom her brother very reluctantly agreed to bring as his plus one, because his mother has always wanted to eat a meal at the top of the Pru).
The event space was beautiful, decked out in gold and blue balloons and plush tablecloths; the skyline of Boston, seen from the space’s 360-degree floor-to-ceiling windows, made the space look ethereal. And as Maura took her seat beside Jane, all Jane could think about was how Maura looked as if she was made to be here, among the beauty, the prestige, the best Boston had to offer.
Immediately, once Jane sat down, her mother started incessantly chatting.
“Janie,” a pause, “and Maura, you’re finally here! Isn’t it wonderful, Janie? It’s so nice that they chose Top of the Hub as their event host. I’ve always wanted to eat up here, but someone never took me.” Angela looked pointedly at her two children. Angela was referring to the restaurant where the policemen’s ball was hosted. Yet another self-referential joke about how Bostonians referred to their city as the “hub,” Top of the Hub was an infamous restaurant at the very top of the Pru.
Jane waved her mother off, “Yeah, yeah, it’s pretty, Ma.”
Undeterred, Angela continued with her relentless chatter, “And Janie, don’t you look sharp, and Maura, darling, don’t you look just so cunning.”
Maura spoke her third sentence of the evening, a variation on her second, “Thank you, Angela.”
“Yeah, Jane, you really cleaned up nice,” Korsak jested, lightly bumping his shoulder against hers.
“Yeah, yeah, I look like the friggin’ queen of England,” Jane brushed the compliment off.
Frankie snorted into his glass of wine, recently poured by event staff, “Jane, please. If anyone looks like royalty tonight, it’s Maura.”
Maura’s only response was a polite blush.
While others had their wine glasses filled by event staff, Angela continued with her praises of the event space.
“Just look out those windows! I bet you could see all the way to Revere from here!” Angela said, referencing the town Jane and her brothers grew up in.
Under her breath, Jane muttered, “Yeah, but who would want to?” earning chuckles from all men at the table, a pointed glare from her mother, and, most disheartening, a blank stare from Maura. Jane didn’t know if tonight was going to resolve all of their relationship troubles, but she hoped it would at least be a step in the right direction. Instead, Maura was refusing to even acknowledge her existence.
“I still can’t believe we get to eat in the tallest building in Boston!” Angela said, refusing to talk about anything else but the event space.
Jane excitedly looked to Maura. With all of the time Jane had spent with Maura, she knew what was coming next – a massive diatribe, with statistics to prove her point, that the Pru was actually not the tallest building in Boston, rather it was the John Hancock tower. The Pru only installed a lengthy spire on its roof to technically beat out the Hancock. From there, the conversation would usually devolve into a conversation (really a lecture) about the tumultuous building of the Hancock, of which Korsak and Cavanaugh were likely to share their own stories about reporting to scenes where the glass panes of the building had collided with the ground. Jane predicted the entire conversation in her head, yet it never came. Huh, Jane guessed random trivia that sometimes got on Jane’s nerves was a pre-September thing, too.
Maura’s mouth remained closed as Jane’s mother continued to prattle on about how flabbergasted she was to finally be eating at the Top of the Hub.
“Wait until Carla hears about this! I can’t wait to tell her all about how I was a guest at the policeman’s ball-“
The rest of the evening continued like this. Through their salads, main entrees, a few trips up to the open bar, and eventually dessert, the table engaged in idle conversation. Angela was utterly amazed and proud of her two children, Jane and Frankie, exchanging typical sibling banter, Korsak, Jane, and Frankie reminiscing about their year of crime fighting, and Cavanaugh engaging where he could. Everything was perfect except for Maura. Before September, Maura would have been beaming alongside Angela, a fierce pride of Jane blatant in her eyes. She would have been catching blows from Frankie, saving Jane from embarrassing jabs. She would have been reflecting alongside her detectives, discussing all of the year’s ups and downs, giving her own perspective as the M.E., and most importantly, she would have been laughing, light, and oh so captivating. Almost irresistible, if Jane remembers correctly. But instead, Maura was blank, closed off, and not a word was exchanged between her and anyone else at the table. Jane was at an utter loss; she had no idea how to fix this rift between herself and Maura.
At the tail-end of dessert, right before the award ceremony was to begin for the evening, Jane asked, “So Cavanaugh, do you know who’s getting’ awards tonight?”
Cavanaugh took a polite sip of wine before responding, “I think some uniforms from A-7 will be receiving a commendation, they stopped a Bank Robbery in progress a few months ago,” the entire table, besides Angela, nodded in recognition of the story, “and detectives out in D-14 will be awarded, something,” Cavanaugh said the last word slowly as if trying to remember the exact prize, but his brain couldn’t produce the name, “for uncovering that student loan scam that was eventually given to the Feds.”
“No award for most murders solved this year?” Korsak said with a knowing smile.
Cavanaugh chuckled and shook his head, “Considering this pod in front of me won that award for the past three years running, they decided to discontinue that award this year.”
“It’s bullshit,” Frankie said, earning him a slap from his mother, “the second I start contributing to that number, they pull the rug out.”
“You’re not wrong,” Cavanaugh agreed, “though, I wouldn’t worry about it, with Dr. Isles leaving as our point Medical Examiner, we might lose that title.”
Every single head whipped around to stare at Maura.
“What?” Frankie and Korsak asked in stereo disbelief prevalent in both of their expressions.
“You’re leaving?” Jane asked, her voice carrying louder than it should.
Maura looked panicked; clearly, she was not planning on sharing this news tonight. “I’m not leaving Massachusetts.”
“Then what did Cavanaugh mean when he said you’re leaving?” Jane asked, her tone pointed, desperately trying to control her dismay.
“Cavanaugh did not say I was leaving,” Maura responded, sharpness in her own voice present.
With wide eyes, Cavanaugh attempted to calm the growing anxiety at their table, “Dr. Isles, I am so sorry, I assumed you already spoke with everyone.”
“It’s alright,” Maura said, placating only Cavanaugh, “Cavanaugh said I was stepping down as BPD’s lead Medical Examiner.”
“So, what does that mean for us?” Jane snapped, unable to process what Maura was suggesting.
“If you would let me finish, Jane,” Maura retorted, taking in a shaking breath before continuing, “As Chief Medical Examiner of Massachusetts, I am allowed first right of refusal over assignments. It has been typical, as it was with my predecessor, for the Chief Medical Examiner to be assigned to Suffolk County, specifically Boston. However, there has been some concern within the Massachusetts government that I have been displaying favoritism towards BPD. Therefore, I decided, effective in the new year, that I would transfer myself away from Suffolk County to oversee autopsies conducted across the commonwealth.”
Maura silenced the entire table.
Jane’s brain was on overdrive. She tried to comprehend Maura’s words, but every time she reviewed them in her head, they didn’t make sense. Maura was no longer going to be serving as BPD’s medical examiner, but that can’t be true, because Maura can’t leave.
Jane said just as much, “You can’t leave.”
Finally, Maura turned to Jane and looked right at her, “Yes, I can, and after tomorrow, I will be operating out of Norfolk County.”
Jane turned to the only person with authority at the table, Cavanaugh. Jane pointed to Maura, “You can’t make her do this.”
Cavanaugh did not have a chance to respond before Maura said, “You’re right, he cannot make me do this, and no one at BPD is. It’s my choice, I asked for this.”
Just then, the lights dimmed in the restaurant, and floodlights directed attention to the main stage. The awards ceremony was about to begin. The din of the room quieted, which only added to the intense ringing in Jane’s ears.
Despite the flurry of activity firing in Jane’s head, she at least had the wherewithal to lower her voice when she addressed Maura again, “Ok, so tell the state you’re staying at BPD.”
“It’s the commonwealth,” Maura corrected through gritted teeth, “and no, I have made my decision, it’s time for me to spend some time beyond the city of Boston.” With that, Maura pushed her chair away from the table and walked out of the restaurant. The staccato sound of her heels was drowned out by the Mayor delivering a speech about the importance of responsible policing for the city of Boston.
Jane was left, mouth agape, and utterly stunned. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she didn’t dare let them shed here, among her colleagues and friends.
“Jane,” Angela leaned across the table, stage whispering, as the woman had never learned to temper her Italian volume, “go after her.”
“You should go after her,” Frankie added, in a rare instance of agreeing with his mother.
“Not you too,” Jane groaned.
“You two have been in a funk for months, we all know why, and clearly, she’s hurt, so hurt she’s leaving BPD,” Frankie insisted, not caring if he was embarrassing his sister. “Go after her. Fix it.”
“Fine,” Jane got up from her seat, throwing her napkin down in a violent, yet petulant protest, “but if she gets even more pissed at me, I’m blaming you,” she pointed between her mother and her brother. She then waggled her finger at Korsak, “and you.”
Korsak threw his hand up in surrender, “What did I do?”
“You were complacent,” Jane explained through narrow eyes.
“Jane,” Cavanaugh said, finally recovering from his serious blunder, “again, I am so sorry, I thought she told you.”
“It’s fine,” Jane turned to follow Maura, outside of the function hall, “hopefully, when I return, it will all be a moot point anyway. I’m going to get her back.”
After leaving the event space, Jane checked everywhere within the Top of the Hub Restaurant, the bathroom, the observation deck, and the elevator bay. There was still no sign of Maura. Jane then began to worry that Maura had ridden the elevator down the 50 or so floors and ordered a cab home. Jane was about to do the same when an old conversation with Maura resurfaced in her brain.
It was years ago, at the beginning stages of their friendship, when Jane and Maura attended an event not unlike this one. Maura had disappeared for about 30 minutes, and when she returned, Jane questioned her about her whereabouts. Maura, unable to lie but able not to expose the whole truth, told Jane everything. She explained that, growing up, it was her duty as an Isles to attend suave galas and work a room. The only problem was, Maura wasn’t the most adept at casual conversations. When the pressure became too much, Maura would run off and hide. Sometimes it was an unused storage closet, other times it was a maintenance room; regardless, it was always an enclosed space where no other human could bother her.
The second this conversation returned to her mind, Jane took off to the only place Maura could be, the only feasible nook Jane spotted, the service ladder. Jane passed the elevator and made a right to an “employees only section.” Ignoring the sign, if anyone stopped her, she could just flash her badge. Jane opened the door labeled “maintenance staff only, access to roof.” Crouched by the ladder, encased in breathtaking blues and golds, was Maura.
Wordlessly, Jane entered the tiny room, no bigger than a shower stall, and positioned herself on the ladder.
Maura looked up, tears welling in her eyes, not quite falling yet, but didn’t say a word.
The two sat there, in uncomfortable silence for minutes, only the sound of their breathing echoed in the small chamber.
Finally, Jane spoke, “You wanna tell me why you’re leaving BPD?” Jane’s tone wasn’t mean-spirited, nor accusatory. She was genuinely asking Maura for an explanation.
Maura sniffed, “I already explained myself, Jane. I am receiving pressure from the governor, from other lawmakers.”
Jane shook her head, “I’m sorry, Maura, I just, I don’t believe you. You have never cared about optics before, and now suddenly it’s bothering you?”
Maura rolled her eyes, “It’s not just that.” Maura crossed her arms, encasing herself in her own embrace. Jane wished those were her hands instead, but she didn’t dare touch Maura. “I need some time away from BPD, too.”
“Why?” Jane pressed. She felt as if she was so close to finally receiving an explanation for the strain in their relationship for the past few months.
“I don’t want to discuss it.” Maura turned away from Jane, resting her chin on her folded arms.
“Maura, please tell me.” Jane never begged, but she was damn near close to it.
“Jane, I am please asking, don’t push the issue.”
“And I’m asking you to tell me what’s wrong!” Jane was swiftly running out of patience. She was not going to give up, not when she was this close.
“Why? Please, I need to know.”
“You jumped off a fucking bridge, Jane!” Maura huffed, then, within seconds, realizing what she said, and the colorful language she used to say it, Maura covered her face in her hands.
“I’m sorry,” Maura’s words were slightly muffled, “that was very uncalled for.”
“No,” Jane paused. Jane was tired of the falsities between them. Starting now, there would be no more lies, especially when that was the most authentic she had seen Maura behave in months, “well, yes, it was. But, it’s ok.” And that was the truth. Jane wanted Maura to scream, to yell, to even throw a punch if she wanted to (not that Maura ever would). Jane could handle a bout of anger. She had no clue what to do with the emotional void Maura had become since September. Jane finally felt like she was making progress, really felt like this was the first step in returning to some semblance of normalcy.
“I shouldn’t have sworn.”
“If you think that’s bad, you should have met my Great Aunt Ro Rizzoli. Believe me, I can handle it.”
Maura’s hands fell away for just a brief moment, but it was long enough for Jane to catch that hint of a smile. Jane exhaled, again, finally progress.
“So, I jumped off a bridge,” Jane said, attempting anything to keep the ball rolling, “I thought we talked through this, like, months ago.”
“You talked through it months ago, and you dismissed all of my fears.”
For the second time that night, Maura had rendered Jane speechless. “What?” was all she managed to say.
Maura huffed again, then explained, “The day after you were rescued, and you came to my office, to apologize, you said," Maura paused, and Jane now knew she was holding back tears, “that this was your job, and you didn’t think about me when you jumped off that bridge.”
Jane opened her mouth to respond, but Maura held her hand out, silently asking Jane to let her finish.
“I thought I was over it, I really did, but as the days dragged on, I realized how hurt, devastated, really, you left me.” Maura’s voice broke at the end of her sentence as her words dissolved into tears.
Jane detangled herself from the ladder and did the one thing she should have done that day in September; she cradled Maura into her arms, tucking Maura’s face into the curve of her neck. Maura’s silent tears streamed down Jane’s neck and pooled at the neckline of her purple dress.
“Maura, I’m sorry, I really am, and I think I finally understand why you’re upset.”
“You do?” Maura asked, still buried deep in Jane’s long neck.
Jane cleared her throat, “Yeah, I think you’re mad that, or at least think, I wouldn’t do something like that for you. I jumped off a bridge for a stranger, but Maura, there is no limit to what I would do to protect you.” Jane paused, letting her words carry through the small room, “Hell, I put a bullet in my side for you,” she whispered the last part, afraid of exposing too much of her heart, not wanting the implications to weigh heavily in the air, “I would do anything for you.”
Maura unfurled herself from Jane and brought her hands up to clutch the sides of Jane’s face, dragging her thumb across Jane’s cheek. Maura’s smile was sad yet saccharine, “I know you would, but you misunderstand me. I’m so upset because I lost you, still terrified that I will lose you. And then, to be told you didn’t think about me when you jumped,” A fresh tear tracked down Maura’s face, “you told me that I wasn’t a mourner. That you didn’t consider me a loved one who would mourn you.”
“What?” Jane asked, bringing her own hands up to wipe Maura’s tears away, “You know that’s not true.”
How else was I supposed to interpret that answer, Jane? You made your feelings clear. So, I started to distance myself, pull away, because I couldn’t bear to lose you again, not if my feelings weren’t reciprocated.”
Jane’s heart shattered at Maura’s words, her brain scrambled, and in a moment of desperation, she did the only thing she could think to do. She leaned in and kissed Maura. Their lips met, Maura’s wet, yet soft, Jane’s determined, yet firm. Maura stiffened for a moment before melting into the kiss, her and coming around to push into Jane’s curls as Jane tightened her grip on Maura’s cheeks. Their lips worked together, pushing and pulling as an extension of their relationship. Finally, Jane pulled a part for air, bringing their foreheads together.
“I am so sorry for not being clearer.”
“And I am so sorry for pulling away.” Maura pushed in to steal another kiss.
Jane broke away, unable to prevent the laugh that bubbled from her lips.
At Maura’s inquisitive look, Jane explained, “Sorry, it’s just the one time you made an assumption, and man you were way off.”
Maura had never looked more validated in her entire life, “See! This is why I never do.”
“Come here,” Jane said, scooping Maura even closer into her arms “Well, I hope you have enough evidence to make a calculated presumption that I’m in love with you.”
“And I hope you have deduced that I love you too. I will see what I can do about remaining at BPD, and I am so sorry for the past few months.”
“Hey, in,” Jane glanced at her watch, “2 hours, it’s a new year, let’s make it our New Year’s resolution to move past this. And I will actually stick to this one,” Jane added with a laugh.
“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind,” and with that, their lips met once more.
