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@dhruvxmehta
BASICS:
Name: Dhruv Sahil Mehta ( he/him )
Age: 36
Occupation: Scientist at K Labs
Species: Werewolf ( omega )
About page: click here! // Full bio: click here!
PERSONALITY:
Positive: Intelligent, Methodical, Ambitious
Negative: Bitter, Impatient, Stubborn
NEW GIRL ( 2011 - 2018 ) ↳ season 2 episode 13
Lara felt the tips of her fingers graze the ball, but it was not within her grasp, unfortunately, and it soared over her head. She was, perhaps, not reaching as hard as she could have been. She made no effort to jump, to truly grab. This was just fun, for her, and she had no genuine loyalty to her team.
Besides, it was a little nice to see the enjoyment on Dhruv's face. He really did like this sport. When the game ended, she left the goal, moving to drink some water and stretch her arms over her head. Lara offered Dhruv a nod and a small smile. "You play well. At least, of what I know. My understanding is of amateur."
"You didn't even try," Dhruv observed, a note of quiet amusement slipping into his voice as he watched the ball curl past her outstretched hands. Returning her smile, he shrugged lightly with one shoulder. "Eh, you don't need to know a lot to have fun. But thanks, I'm no professional though," he said. "Just missed playing more than I realised." He looked down at the ball for a moment, nudging it idly beneath his foot before letting it roll back again. It was nice, to switch his brain off for more than an hour, that wasn't something he got to do often. "Have you signed up for other things?"
"I think I'd fair better in the net. I'm not exactly a football star like yours truly," He teased, giving Dhruv's jersey a light tug as if to demonstrate his point. "But if you really want to try to catch my balls that badly, then by all means, get in the net," He joked, making an explicit pun intentionally as he caught the ball Dhruv had tossed his way.
"I'm not a star either," Dhruv replied with an easy shrug. "I just played a bit at uni." He gave Vivek a long, unimpressed look before letting out a quiet sigh, the corners of his mouth threatening the faintest smile. "...Well, when you put it like that, I really don't want to." Despite the complaint, he stepped between the posts anyway, rolling his shoulders. Settling into position, Dhruv gave a nod toward the penalty spot. "Five shots. Go."
Todd grinned at that. "Oh! I know him! He retired when I was, like, in...high school. Different game and all, but I wanted to be Alvan Adams when I grew up. But I didn't keep growing, you know? Gag me, right? Oh well. You gotta tell me about this Ronaldo, brah. Flash is important as hell, I think. Like...like...do you know the Ali shuffle?" He kicked his feet back and forth and boxed the air a few times, a maneuver he had evidently practiced. "Why shouldn't I? I'm young. I'm hot. I'm alive. Everyone around here lurches about like a zombie all the time, and I'm an actual zombie. What's their excuse?" He hummed. "Awww. People would looovvveee your accent, man. And you don't gotta act. You just gotta remember words and stand there. Oh! And remember to hold the brand items to the camera. Like this." He mimed holding a cup directly to Dhruv's face, inches from his nose. "Have some coffee. Like that. Have some coffee."
Making a mental note to look up who Alvan Adams was, Dhruv gave him a nod. Could try for something now, yeah? Or you good with these vertical drama things?" Trying to think of the least biased way to explain one of football's biggest names was a futile task, do Dhruv didn't try. "Flashy, yeah. Confident. Incredibly good. People either absolutely loved him or they didn't." He couldn't help but chuckle at the Ali shuffle demonstration. "I know it, yeah. Same idea, I suppose. Personality sells as much as talent sometimes."
Todd's grin was infectious enough that Dhruv found himself smiling too, right up until he mentioned excuses. He caught himself lingering there and shook the thought away before it settled any deeper. Todd didn't deserve to have the mood dragged somewhere heavy because of that. "Dunno folks are tired, I suppose." Smile returned a little easier, "I'm so sure you can pull of this accent if you tried," he said, "but nah, I'd freeze the second someone pointed a camera at me. You're far more convincing for sure."
"Why not?" Zeina's brows knitted as they took in the perfectly good jersey the man before them was wearing. Sliding into the seat beside Dhruv, they asked him pointedly, "This morning when you were fishing your closet, you chose to put that on for a reason. Likely because you liked the feeling it gave you. So, what changed?" They asked with a tilt of a brow. "Was it or was it giving into peer pressure?" They wondered, feeling bad for the Jersey that would likely spend quite some time on a shelf if they didn't say something. "If you felt good in it, you should wear it. To hell with what anyone else says."
"I have a keen eye, but even I can make mistakes sometimes, and while being able to lie has actually been quite wonderful, I don't lie about my work. Though you should really tell your pretty brunette friend yourself. I'm just the seamstress and messenger," They told him as they turned the jersey over in their hand before they moved to slip it on over their head, having no problem rocking the Jersey themselves. Zeina had taken the commission in part because the Jersey was hysterical. It was reverent, edgy, and hysterical in all the best ways. The commission had made them actually interested in sports for a change and wanted to be friends with the woman who'd commissioned them, but if the person it was intended for didn't want to accept the Jersey, Z would take it back and give it to the owner of the commission. They were getting paid either way. "Look, if it's not your thing. It's not your thing. But, if you ask me, people don't typically spend over a hundred dollars on a commission for a Jersey for someone else to have them be the butt of some joke. They were probably just trying to get you to smile, but what do I know? I think it's kick ass personally," They said, modeling the Jersey before they went to grab their bag. "But to each their own." Zeina personally didn't see why the cute brunette who commissioned them was wasting their time on this guy who didn't seem to have much of a sense of humor. But they also weren't going to entirely judge someone who clearly needed to work on their self-esteem either. So, as they got up to go, they extended their card over to the man, "Here. My card. In case you want to find something that feels like you."
Dhruv listened without interrupting, until she questioned again. "Exactly that," he said simply. "This one doesn't give me that feeling." His shoulders rose in a small shrug. "The one I wore today had been sitting in the back of my wardrobe for a while anyway, but if you want to think not wanting to wear it again is me giving into peer pressure..." Another shrug followed, "sure, you can think that." It was easy really, for them or anyone to say, to hell with it, and he'd love to take that sentiment on board but people usually settled on whatever version of him made the most sense to them, regardless of what he actually said and he'd spent enough energy lately trying to explain himself.
"I'll tell her," he agreed with a nod, grateful enough to leave the subject there. Watching Zeina pull the jersey over their own head earned the first genuine smile he'd managed all conversation. "If she asks, I didn't give that to you to wear," he said with a point. But a second later, his expression turned mock-serious. "And if anyone stops you because my surname's across the back, please tell my family, because it will be them who ask, that we're not dating." It was ridiculous of course, but he really wouldn't put it past them.
His smile dropped at the mention of the price. "...She spent how much?" A hand immediately found his face as he dragged it down with a long sigh. "Crazy woman," he muttered under his breath, though there was no irritation behind it anymore, only bafflement and a realisation that he had another conversation waiting.
Accepting the card between two fingers, he gave them a quick salute. "Thanks, will do."
END.
Life had been quite the whirlwind. Out of all the things that had happened or could happen, being stuck in an elevator was the least of his worries. He wasn't sure how long they would be there, so Malcolm opted to sit on the floor. He had always been the child who elected to sit criss-cross on the ground rather than on a chair. "I needed the in-between floor yesterday. I just need to get to four today." Humor had always been his defense in any situation. "Can she magically teleport us out of here ... or is she just going to call maintenance? Happy with either outcome." He knew the answer but pretended not to.
Dhruv did not join the man to sit on the floor, feeling that if he did so, the walls would somehow close in on him faster. Instead, he tucked himself into a corner and leaned against the walls. "Darn. Shit of out luck today then, mate." His lips ticked up to a smile, thankful at least the other had some sense of humour rather than just panic or complain. Dhruv chuckled softly at the question, "Well, she can create portals between places, so both of those actually." Pulling out his phone again, he called her and pressed the emergency button a couple more times for good measure. "Let's see what she's doing."
Lara looked at him hard for a moment, considering her options. She didn't want him to stay upright for long; the main reason of getting him inside was to attempt to make him rest. But, seeing the unease, she breathed slowly through her nose and gave a sharp nod. "Stay." Once the command was uttered, she marched inside, gathering up a few blankets and digging through the fridge for water and iced tea and food before heading out. "Picnic, then."
She had been listening to him speak, trying to take in that information. "What else is on the list?" Lara asked warily. She helped him stand before moving back towards the forest. "And... what do you mean by strange? Examples, por favor. Other than the now added fainting."
It was oddly endearing watching her weigh the decision so seriously. Dhruv caught himself almost responding with 'yes ma'am' at the sharp, Stay, but thought better of it at the last second, of course that didn't extend to the way his hand raised in salute as he watched her disappear inside. A smile refused to stay hidden when she returned with blankets and food. "I wasn't expecting that to actually work." Dhruv found his balance well enough to step forward, taking the blankets from her before she could protest. "At least let me carry something. You know, one of these days I'm gonna have to do something for you to return the favour for... well, everything. Thank you."
They walked together at an easy pace toward the treeline and it struck him, not for the first time, the ease of it all. Even when she asked questions, he found that he didn't mind answering. "Examples, huh? You want a full incident report?" The attempt at humour was half-hearted, fading not long after as his attention drifted ahead of them. "I've also been getting nosebleeds and coughing up blood every now and then. That's been the strangest one. Fatigue's worse now too. Some days it's manageable. Other days..." He trailed off, "...well you saw what happened." He was weaker for it, he knew that, but there was a innate stubbornness in him that refused to label that and himself as weak. "Being an experiment time and time again is starting feel like a cruel joke."
"I'm Zeina. The owner of Finder's Keepers," She introduced herself, extending her hand out for him to shake. "Doesn't mean they're right, though, now does it?" She hummed under her breath, slipping back into the accent before falling out of it once more. "With impeccable stitching," She insisted as she handed the jersey over to him. "In what way was a lesson learned?" She asked curiously, however, her eyes sparkling in amusement as she extended it out to him.
"Yes, I do. I spent hours hand-stitching this for some pretty brunette who swore it would be the perfect gift for you. The least you can do is help me to make sure it fits. Its a commission after all and your friend wasn't very specific when it came to your sizing," She grumbled as she extended the Jersey back out toward him to try on. While Zeina knew the commission had been for a gag gift and a funny one at that, she took anything that had her label on it seriously and she also found the idea of him wearing it slightly amusing if she was being honest. Not that she'd admit that part out loud, choosing to feign innocent to why he might possibly not want to wear a jersey with the letters C.U.M. on them. "Please. For me? You can do whatever you want with it immediately after," She tempted, shooting him a pleading look. "But I'm not about to upset my client by having my drop-off go unsuccessfully."
"Right." He accepted the handshake. "I would introduce myself, but you already seem to know me." His attention lingered again on the way she slipped effortlessly between accents before he remembered she'd asked him a question. "Hmm? Oh. I'm not going to wear this again," Dhruv answered, pulling lightly on his shirt. He had worn it, not out of since of pride or arrogance, but, simply because it reminded him of the fun he used to have, and somehow it became... this instead. "Lesson learnt here was humility."
He blinked when she questioned. "Didn't you just tell me it should be the perfect size?" he asked. "If you were confident it'll fit, I don't really need to prove it. You can tell my pretty brunette friend that it looked great on me." He shrugged. "Look... I do appreciate the work. You clearly put a lot of time into it but... this isn't really me?" Dhruv gestured vaguely toward the giant acronym stitched across the front and continued trying to stay polite. "I know it's meant to be funny. I get the joke, I do. I know neither of you were trying to make me feel awkward, but I just don't really want to be the joke." He offered her another faint, apologetic smile. "Maybe you would wear something just because someone else thought it'd be funny, I don't know. I'd rather be honest than pretend or lie that I love it and never wear it again. Feels worse. I'm sure your client will be fine."
"Why? You look hot," Kiraz started to say, only to remember that she likely shouldn't be referring to her roommate as hot anymore or outwardly checking him out. Her brows knitted as she muttered out a, "Nevermind", under her breath as she adverted her gaze towards her duffel bag off to the side of the field. Rummaging around in it, she yanked out her water bottle and moved to take a sip. "Is it?" She blinked over at Dhruv once more before she asked, "Is making a goal supposed to be hard?" She knew obviously that it was or football games would hardly be as long as they were, but, "I used to play football a ton growing up," she explained with a small shrug. "It used to be one of my favorite things in the world. But, anyhow," She pressed her lips together as she shoulders lifted and fell. "You'd have to do a dance if you want more than one," She flashed him back a teasing grin.
"Yeah, well, if certain people didn't keep secrets, then maybe they'd get to keep their cool nicknames," She grumbled under her breath. Though she did perk up at the mention of food, being far too easily distracted when it came to her own stomach and keeping it filled. "Both? Both are good."
As quickly as the smile appeared, it faltered. "Huh?" His brows knit together. "Why nevermind?" Whatever she'd been about to say vanished before he could make sense of it, and he watched her for a second before letting it go with a quiet breath. Dhruv wasn't sure what was going on with her lately but this just added to the confusing behaviour he'd seen from her. "The concept is simple enough," he said instead, following the change of subject. A more genuine smile found him then. "You played? I didn't know that. That's pretty cool. But? What happened? Just grew out of it?" It wouldn't be surprising to hear that though, happened to a few of his mates back home. He laughed under his breath. "The sprinkler's about the extent of my dancing, I'm afraid."
Then she mentioned secrets and the mood shifted again as his smile faded. "Huh? Who's keeping secrets?" he asked confused, but at the nicknames he paused again. "Wait..." He pointed at himself. "Me?" He wracked his brain for some clue he'd missed, or forgotten something, but nothing struck. "Okay... I'm genuinely lost. Lately it feels like you start saying something and stop halfway through, and I'm apparently supposed to know what you mean? I can't read your mind. If I've done something wrong or pissed you off, just tell me because I honestly haven't got the faintest idea what you're talking about."
"Why-" Her brows creased even more as her wide eyes lifted to meet his gaze, watching him in curious confusion as to why he was once again moving to take care of her without her even having to ask. "I don't get you." The words blurted out of her mouth as he pushed the paper plate of pancakes back in front of her. "Why do you always go out of your way for me?"
"Before, obviously," She grumbled under her breath at the mention of how the syrup would start attracting ants. "I'm good with cleaning supplies. And bleach," She snuck another peek up his way, watching him as he moved to make pancakes for the both of them, even when he had said he had been planning to make baked beans on toast for himself. "Yeah, but you don't have to and it's not like I wouldn't heal," She countered.
"Um... yay big," She offered up as she held her hand up fairly high over her plate. Her eyes might've been a bit too big for her stomach, but then again, the wolf could also really eat. "But, if you want to do beans on toast, we can do that. It sounds..." questionable, "Hardly as good as pancakes, but I'm willing to give it a try. What's in it? Or is it really just baked beans on toast without an ounce of seasoning?" She asked, making a face at the thought.
"Huh? What do you mean why?" Dhruv looked back at her with an equally curious gaze, aided further by a slight tilt of his head at her expression. "What's there to get? I'm not going out of my way. I do things because I want to." He almost wanted to reach across the counter and flick her on the forehead for such a ridiculous question, especially one with an obvious answer. "Because I care about you. What about that is confusing? I also don't want you to eat off the counter." That earned a light laugh, "Yeah, I don't doubt you aren't. But why even leave it that long? Just because you'll heal doesn't mean it won't hurt or be uncomfortable. Also just makes sense to clean up mess."
He looked at how high she held her hand with a raised brow. "Right. So, four." He decided. "Nice and even." Dhruv went about making them as she spoke, but turned sharply, pointing the spatula at her. "Whoa, whoa," he exclaimed, trying to not sound or look too offended. "Do I look like someone who doesn't use seasoning?" The audacity was baffling. "Might as well make this brunch. I'll make you my version of baked beans on toast." He flipped the pancake and turned the other burner on, gathering more things that included his masala box and a couple cans of beans from their pantry, grumbling all the while he did. "You're gonna kill me faster at this rate. Goddamn..." He shook his head multiple times.
"Who says it couldn't be both?" Vivek countered, lifting a genuine brow up at how quickly Dhruv seemed to denounce the idea that he might have had any part in it. "That she wanted it and that it was in part because of you? They don't have to be exclusive, and ah, there it is," He had to fight back an eye roll as he took a hit from the joint himself. "Because that's the only reason someone might alter their life for you? Out of pity? Not because you inspired them or out of love or admiration? Out of pity?" He asked, though he was fairly certain Dhruv wouldn't be able to fathom any other explanation. And Dhruv said he was the self-deprecating one of the two of them. "I haven't turned, Dhruv, because I never had a good enough reason." And after everything he'd been through, he fucking resented magic, just as much as his veins seemed to still crave it with every passing second.
"You of all people should know that you shouldn't try to tell me what I can and can't do," Vivek said after a moment's breath. The corner of his lips itched up ever so slightly into a grin that just as quickly fell, and one that had never fully reached his eyes to begin with. "I'm going to say this just once, okay?" His voice softened slightly as he told his friend point blank, "I am going to defend whoever the fuck I want, and if that person happens to be you, then it's not going to be out of any obligation or sense of responsibility, but because I genuinely believe in what I'm sticking my neck out for and in the person I'm defending. So, I don't really care if it's something you might not want me to. Sorry, but as long as I'm in your life, it's not going to be something you ever get a say in."
"I think a man and a woman can be friends just fine. I just don't think either of you treats each other like one," He told him as he took another drag from the joint before he relaxed back down against the bed. "You and that other werewolf, the standoffish one who works up at Holloway Farm- friends. But, your roommate who let you shoot her up with saliva after knowing her for how long and who you kissed during on New Years Eve? Yeah, you guys are totally platonic," He quipped as he handed the joint back over Dhruv's way. "That friend of yours may be a lot of things, but I'm not sure nice is one of them. Especially not from what you said seconds ago. And just because someone might care about you doesn't mean that they secretly want something from you, you dummy," He lolled his head back against the pillow as he peered over at him. "For fuck sake, I know people can suck, I do, and I know that most people don't actually give a damn about you, rather, they love how loving you makes them feel about themselves. But even I know that most people aren't out here with ulterior motives. Their worlds just... revolve around themselves, or they're all too caught up in their own shit to realize the impact of what they've been saying or projecting."
"Yeah, well, maybe Kiraz isn't the only one who wants to be a guinea pig. Ever think of that?" He posed, not actually volunteering to become some science experiment as much as being hyper aware that it was getting harder and harder each day to resist the urge to take ichor again. "See?" He whispered after a quiet breath. "It's ironic, really. Like some sick joke from the universe that neither of us can ever seem to get what we want," He muttered. His jaw clenched before he said, after another prolonged beat, "Yeah, well, logic doesn't always come into play there, mate." Not when he spent most of his days feeling as though he was wading through water rather than surfacing for air. Not when his skin practically itched at the thought of when he could get his hands on another vial as much as his head told him it would be a stupid ass idea.
"Got it," He grew quiet himself as he closed his own eyes, and he stayed sprawled back across the bed he never actually could fall asleep in. It was only when he started up again that Vivek cracked a peek open and told him, "Whose fault is that? I could've put on Treasure Fucking Planet, and we could've zoned out. You're the one who wanted to be all contrarian," He teased as he craned his neck so that his gaze drifted up toward the ceiling. "I gave you the right one. You're just high strung, and sometimes Mary Jane isn't good, which is why I'm not introducing you to Molly or god knows what might happen."
END?
Dhruv let out a slow breath, rubbing a hand down his face. "Because she hasn't told me that," he said. "I'm not going to think I played a bigger part in her choice if she hasn't said it. And, mate... I said I don't want to think it was pity. That's not the same thing as saying I believe it was." The distinction felt important, even if he was beginning to suspect he was the only one who thought so. "But after enough people wanting something from me, or treating me like I'm only useful until I'm not, yeah I'm start looking for explanations that make sense to me." He looked at Vivek, expression softening despite the frustration that still lingered. "And before you go thinking I put you in that category, I didn't. I don't think that of you. I know you. That's why I'm even bothering to explain this."
He accepted the joint back without immediately taking a drag, rolling it idly between his fingers instead. It gave him something to do while he searched for words that didn't feel like they were slipping further away the more he reached for them. "I wasn't saying you defend me out of obligation." A tired laugh escaped him, lacking much humour. "I know why you do it. I know you mean it. I just..." He hesitated before settling on the truth. "I don't like seeing you catch shit because of me. That's all it was." His shoulders rose and fell in a small shrug. "Fine. If you still choose to do it, I can't, nor was I going, to actually stop you. I'm just gonna continue to feel however I want to feel about it."
Vivek's certainty about Kiraz earned little more than a weary exhale. Dhruv stared at the floor for a long moment before speaking again. "See, this is what I mean." There wasn't any bite in his voice anymore, only fatigue. "You've already decided what we are. Anything I say now is just going to sound like denial or like an argument to you." He rubbed absentmindedly at the back of his neck. He wasn't really sure what he was supposed to say so another pause stretched between them before he spoke again. "I'm not saying people can't care about me. I'm saying that trusting people doesn't come easily anymore." His fingers tightened briefly around the joint. "Those aren't the same thing either." A faint scoff escaped him. "I know most people aren't sitting around plotting against me. I know they're wrapped up in their own lives. Doesn't really stop the impact when they say something that sticks, though. I can't exactly stop feeling." Maybe that was the main problem. That he felt too much. He wished he knew how to avoid it.
He finally took a drag, blowing the smoke toward the ceiling. "And yeah," he said, glancing sideways at Vivek, "of course I've thought about it. Do you know me?" The corner of his mouth twitched, though it never quite became a smile. "I wasn't trying to tell you how to live your life. I was asking you to be careful. I know addiction isn't something you solve because someone tells you to stop. I know that. I just..." His voice faltered for the first time all evening. "I don't want to lose you too, that's all."
Silence was starting to settle before Vivek's teasing finally pulled an actual laugh out of him, sharp around the edges but genuine all the same. "Fucker," he muttered, shaking his head, "if either of us is a contrarian, it's definitely you." He pointed at him with the joint. "Don't feed me bullshit, yeah? I'm not high or drunk enough. You asked. I answered. That's all I was doing." The warmth faded into something quieter as he leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes for a moment. "Yeah, put it on. I don't think I've ever seen it."
END.
The siren smiled genuinely as she felt understood. "Among other things?" She asked with obvious interest. "Like what?" Her exuberance faltered at the mention of bones breaking. "Oh my. What an awful thing that must be." Charlie offered empathetically. It made her feel a little guilty about resenting her fate as fae. At least her transformation didn't hurt. "Wait a dang minute! You study our genetics?" She was curious to hear more. "I have often wondered where magic and science meet. Constantly," The fae admitted. "Since.." Her wings wiggled. "All of this."
"We get used to it," he said with a sheepish smile, "sometimes I think it's to counter the heightened senses and strength we have? Terrible balance but..." he trailed of with a shrug. Nothing could be done about that even if he wanted to. "Mhhm, yeah. It was mostly human genetics but since living here, I've shifted to study our kind." He smiled, giving her an understanding nod. "Me too. It's always been so fascinating to me, y'know? So yeah, naturally made that my life's work." He said so rather proudly. The intersection was him too, rather literally, which only ever deepened his need to know more. "Science, in its own right, is magic, but exactly," he pointed to her wings, "how can anyone not wonder?"
"Good thing I come jam-packed with my own issues. I'd hate to see what the town had to offer." She tried to keep her tone light. It was easier to joke about her hardships. Her humor acts as a shield to keep the vulnerable sides of her from the eyes of others. Dhruv was the only person who saw the softest parts of her core, yet here she was guarded once more. "When have I ever not been an agent of trouble?" This was dangerous, falling into old habits. It was comfortable. For a moment, it felt like no time had passed between them. They were transported back to the flat they once shared. Sipping morning coffee after sleepless nights, feet tangled together and the world feeling limitless. Emira had to remind herself that she had given that life up. "Well, yes. You tell me there's a haunted house and act surprised at my sudden need for investigation."
As Dhruv's facade fell, so did hers. She allowed her concern and care to be fully present. She was still allowed to care about Dhruv. That would never go away. It was easy to pretend that there was anger. It made her actions easier to digest and allowed her to forget that she had hurt someone with her actions. "I know you've always seemed to be allergic to sleep ... but you need rest, Dhruv. I know that's easier said than done. I don't condescendingly mean this, but you look exhausted."
Emira never imagined she would have the chance to tell the truth. Not that this is something she dreamed of. If anything, she hoped she would never have to stare Dhruv in the face to give him the why of it all. It's why she had left silently in the first place. The witch never imagined any of this would ever happen. In a world of 5 billion people, she expected to never see Dhruv Mehta again. Yet fate, or whatever it was that was spinning her story along, had a funny sense of humor. Their strings were pulled back together. Their story was not closed as Emira had hoped. "It wasn't from a lack of love," she admitted quietly. She needed Dhruv to know that much. "I loved you more than I ever imagined I could love another person. You were the best thing to have ever happened to me. But it was safe." Her throat tightened with all the emotions she had shoved down. They rose like bile, hot and unpleasant, the confession ready to spill over.
"I know how that sounds. I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I never knew what safe was. I've spent my whole life trying to fill a void that was left open by my parents. I put my worth into my accomplishments because it was the only time I was ever looked at. I thought being loved by someone else was going to magically fix me. That ... I'd finally be this complete person because I had found someone who could put up with me for once. But being with you wasn't the cure. What I was looking for, I had to find in myself. I had to choose myself. I didn't ... I didn't know how to voice that without being selfish because it was selfish. I wanted to be selfish for once in my life." She could feel the tears begin to well up in the corner of her eyes. "Being selfish meant hurting you. I couldn't bear to see the sadness I would cause... so I left. I thought it would be easier than having to tell you all this."
He knew he should respond in kind, throw back some joke to keep things light, but all he found himself doing was looking at her. It was still easy to see through the humour. It always had been. "Don't let this town add to that, Emi," he said quietly. There was no judgement in it, only a quiet warning born from experience. "This place has an uncanny ability to make problems bigger than they already are." The corner of his mouth lifted faintly as he pointed at himself. "Case in point." A soft breath of laughter escaped him. "And if I didn't tell you about the haunted house, what's the chance you wouldn't find me just to tell me off for keeping it from you, hm?"
The tiredness to his movements and speech didn't shift when honesty was shown. "I know," he replied softly when she mentioned how exhausted he looked. "I am. More than I really know how to explain." He ran a hand through his hair, the motion slow, almost absent-minded. "It's not from a lack of trying. I just don't sleep very well these days. And before you say it, no, sleeping pills don't work. I've tried." A small shrug followed. "But it's okay, I get enough to function, anyway."
Then he fell quiet. He wasn't sure he could have interrupted her even if he'd wanted to. Every sentence seemed to settle somewhere different inside him, years of unanswered questions condensing into words he'd long since convinced himself he would never hear. It wasn't from a lack of love. Those were the ones that lingered. For years he'd built a simpler explanation because it had been easier to survive. She fell out of love. She left. It hurt, but at least it made sense. Love ending was something people understood. Love remaining... and still leaving? That was far harder to reconcile. Part of him almost wished she hadn't said it, because now he had to find somewhere to put a truth that somehow made losing her hurt in an entirely different way.
Then another word snagged at his thoughts just as painfully. Safe. He had never thought of it as something lacking. Quite the opposite. Safe was what he'd been searching for his entire life. It was stability. It was routine. Home. It was quiet evenings that asked nothing of either of them and the comfort of knowing someone would still be there tomorrow. Safe had never felt like the end of something to him. It had felt like what he spent his life searching for. Only then did he notice the tears beginning to gather in her eyes. His chest tightened almost instinctively. For the briefest moment, he wanted to reach out, to brush them away before they even fell but it belonged to a version of them that no longer existed.
"I don't think it sounds ridiculous." He held her gaze for a moment before continuing. "That's me too, you know. The ambition. The need to accomplish something. To become someone." A small, tired smile appeared. "I never thought loving you was supposed to fix you. I don't think I ever expected either of us to complete the other. We were our own people that made each other happy." His eyes drifted somewhere beyond her for a moment, lost in memories he'd spent years trying not to revisit. "I just... whenever I pictured my future, you were in it." It was simply the truth.
"If you'd told me you needed to find yourself. I'd have tried to understand. Maybe I would've asked too many questions..." A faint, shrug followed. "But I would've listened. You choosing yourself was never the part I couldn't accept. I would've never wanted you to stay somewhere, or with someone, because you felt obligated to. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to carry all of that by yourself." There was no anger left in the words. If there ever had been, time had long since worn it away, leaving only something quieter. "I think what I struggled with most was they way you did it? It happened so suddenly that I didn't know what to do with all the questions you left behind." He let out a slow breath. "For a long time, I thought maybe I'd simply been too much. That I'd missed something obvious. That if I paid more attention, been different somehow..." He shook his head. "You never gave me the chance to ask. So I filled in the blanks myself."
"Not unless you don't want to," Vivek chuckled. A bright grin toyed at the corner of his lips from where he was resting his head casually against the side of the doorframe, watching his friend anxiously fidget before him. Dhruv deserved this. He deserved the crowning achievement and the recognition. Even if Vik wished he had been the one to have suddenly woken up with magic flowing through his veins, the recognition of the bizarre accident turned revolutionary achievement had always been his. It would be a PR nightmare if anyone ever figured out the truth, and Vik had never been one for the spotlight. He'd only ever asked his friend to look into the possibility of making a human magical for the sliver of a chance that he might finally be the same as the rest of his family. The rest was a train of unforeseen circumstances. But ones he hoped they could both make the most of.
"Oh, hundreds," He teased, his smile widening to let his friend know he was merely joking. "Relax. It's like maybe seventy-five max. But more people are better. Trust me. What's that whole saying? One person is a tragedy, a hundred a statistic or something or other?" He kicked off the wall to go plop himself down in a chair beside Dhruv. "When it's a sea of faces, they all blur in your periphery, and then it will just be you up there. But if you're so worried about it, I'll be sitting in the front row. You can just pretend that we're back in the lab and you're rehearsing your speech, trying to tell me off for pawning your fidget spinner."
"Strange what is?" Vivek sat up from where he was sitting, tilting his head to the side as he caught the look in Dhruv's eyes that he knew all too well at this point. "No, don't do that. Hey," He moved to rest his hands on either side of his friend's shoulders as he gave him a light and playful shake. "Yeah, okay. This is some weird-ass fluke. We're like that dude who invented penicillin by accident or the waffle cone. But you've been busting your ass off for how many years? In search of, what exactly?" He cupped his hand to his ear, waiting to hear the other man repeat it. "An epic scientific breakthrough when it comes to supernaturalism, right? And look at yourself! We're here. You're giving a speech and receiving an award for God's sake. Would it kill you to smile?"
"So things went down a little differently than you expected. Life isn't always by the book. It doesn't mean that you don't deserve it, and you do, deserve it, mate. Trust me," He promised him giving his shoulders a reassuring squeeze as he dipped around him to begin to smooth down the shoulders of his jacket,
"That's what speeches are for. You're going to stand there and read the words you wrote off of a sheet of paper," He reminded him. "It's going to be fine. You're going to get up onto that stage, look me in the eyes, and read off some words that will last less than a few minutes and that you're probably not even going to remember saying at the end of it. Then, you're going to sit back down at our table, we're going to get drunk, have a good night, and go back to dealing with reality come tomorrow. Five minutes of clapping tops. Nothing to psych yourself out about," He reminded his dork of a best mate. "So stop overthinking it and me? Chipper. Why wouldn't it be? My best friend is about to become a scientific legend. Think of all the funding that's going to get set our way now. First werewolves. Next witches. We're going to become the most innovative duo this town has ever seen, you and me," He said, just spewing words at this point, but as far as he had known, there was no reason to be worried. They had their entire lives ahead of them to figure out this wolf thing and, if it meant hanging out in a lab with his slobbering wolf-formed friend every full moon, then he would happily do so. They were going to figure it out, and everything was going to be fine. He had been so certain.
"I was told I had to!" It was recommended that he did, was told he look presentable and preferably not in a lab coat, so he took that to mean suit and tie. "Maybe I'll skip the tie then." Eyes went wide at the number mentioned. "That's still a lot!" It shouldn't have surprised him. He'd spoken before lecture halls packed with academics before, defended papers in front of rooms full of people whose opinions mattered. Public speaking had never been the problem. This felt different. It was different. Before, he'd stood behind work that was wholly his. Research he'd designed. Hypotheses he'd tested. Conclusions he'd reached. This… this belonged to chance as much as it belonged to science, and he still hadn't figured out where he fit within that equation.
"Okay," he breathed out, "okay. You were going to be the only one I look at anyway. Front row is good." That eased the tension slightly. He could count of Vivek to do that. He always could. It wasn't a friendship he thought could work out, not with him being a bona fide nerd and Vivek a cool kid, but it worked and Dhruv was every bit thankful for it. He smiled at the mention of the fidget spinner. "You stole it," he muttered automatically. "Repeatedly." The familiar exchange settled something in him, if only a little. It reminded him that, for all the cameras and speeches and people he'd never met waiting, this part at least hadn't changed and it would never change.
"I know none of this happens without the work. I know that." His gaze dropped for a moment. "I'm proud of the research. I really am." That was the part he couldn't argue with. Since he was a teenager, he'd wanted to contribute something meaningful. To discover something that changed the way people understood the world. If someone had described tonight to twelve year old Dhruv, he'd have thought they'd won the lottery. "So why does it feel…" He searched for the word before giving up with a small shake of his head. "Off? If we'd succeeded the way we planned, we'd be celebrating because we'd proven a theory. Instead…" His hand lifted vaguely before falling again. "They're celebrating something else." Silence settled between them for a few moments. "I think everyone else has caught up to the fact I'm a werewolf before I have."
Nerves, however did ease, as a smile took over. Vivek had always had an irritating talent for making impossible things sound manageable. "You and me," he repeated, the words settling a little easier than everything else had. "We do make a good team." It would be fine, he convinced himself with such surety that it would go well, and they would, like Vivek said, have a good night once the formalities were over and done with. He straightened the front of his jacket one last time before stepping away from the mirror. "We're gonna be alright. Okay, let's get this over with."
"You sure about that?" Vik countered after a prolonged beat. "Cause," He trailed off as his eyes fell back down to the joint in his hand. "We both know I was interested in doing anything I could to not be... well," it sounded ridiculous now, but so painfully human. "But I'm still human, and she's been in town for what? A couple of months, met you and then made a quick life-altering decision. You don't think you had any part in that?" He asked as he brought the joint back up to his lips.
"Why do you think?" He lifted a brow over at Dhruv as if the answer was obvious. It wasn't any secret that Vivek was known for being difficult and contrarian. He had been a deadbeat parading around as some leader. It was no wonder he had such a knack for getting under the other man's skin. "That's part of it," He shrugged once more. "A lot of it. I think me defending you was another part. Apparently I have a 'conflict of interest'. Me being, well, me even more. But it doesn't matter anyway. I'm not on the Council anymore so he can take it up with Sun-Hee now or Ben."
Vivek stayed quiet for a prolonged beat before he sat up. "You sure that's what she said, or is that how you interpreted it?" He asked slowly, knowing Dhruv had a way of fixating on a word someone mentioned in passing until the entire meaning of what they had been trying to convey was muddled. He'd done it to him plenty of times over and while Vivek hardly knew Kiraz, he had seen the way that girl had run out of a bar after him. "Look, I don't her, okay? All I know is that she's clearly not straight, likes to drink herself into an early grave-" a feeling they both could mutually agree on, "And that she was in a bar filled with women hitting on her and, yet, the moment you left, she didn't spare them one glance as she ran out after you. Gave me one hell of a death glare too when you told her to go back inside when she had clearly wanted to be there for you. So maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she did say those exact words to you and truly doesn't give a fuck about you, but if she did, then why the hell are you still living with her? Why bother being friends with her? She got what she wanted. She survived. The experiment worked. Why not just move on?"
"Yeah, well, if you need a guinea pig for that one, I've already been taking it so," His shoulders lifted and fell as he exhaled. "I mean, if you want me to start saying you were the best thing that's ever happened to me, I happily would. I can scream it from the rooftops even," He shot him a teasing look. It was only at Dhruv's quiet admittance that Vivek muttered quietly back, "Now that's stupid. Not that I'm not grateful you're here. I am, or I'd be stuck in this hellhole alone, but... I can't have your life on mine, okay? You should be here because the hunters will take you down if you leave. Because it is the most logical choice for you. I can be a perk of being here, but... I shouldn't be the only reason, okay? Not when the odds of us dying every day seem to be growing all the worse."
"Because I resigned. Lupe wanted it, and the Deputy Sheriff is far more qualified than I am for the position, so it's hers now. It's better for the Coalition," He explained as he sprawled back against the bed. Turning his head to the side to meet Dhruv's face he admitted, "I know you're going to hate me for saying this, but honestly? Even if I had the choice, knowing what it does now, I probably would've still taken it. I'm... still thinking about taking it even knowing that I could become some fire-breathing hellhound. I mean... if, for one hour, you had been given everything you had always thought you had wanted and, as fucked up and dangerous as it was, it ended up making you feel exactly how you thought you would?" Complete? Alive? Like you were no longer the kid that had been born wrong? "Only for it to be gone like that," He snapped his fingers as though to demonstrate. "Would you, despite knowing the risks, never consider getting that feeling back?"
"Yeah." Dhruv answered without hesitation, the certainty coming easier than he'd expected. "I'm sure." He let the words settle before continuing. "I get why you'd think that, though. I know how it looks, it's easy to say she talked to me and made that decision for me. But she talked to other people too. Asked questions. Thought about it. I told her there wasn't going back once it was done." His gaze dropped for a moment. "I made it very clear that if she was going to do it, it had to be because she wanted it. Not because of me." A small breath escaped him. "I don't... want to believe someone would alter the rest of their life out of pity for me." The admission came quieter than the rest, almost reluctant. "Your situation was different anyway. We were still trying to make the research work then. We were aiming for witches, and to be honest if you'd wanted to become a vampire, you could have."
A frown formed instantly. "Don't do that," he said, firmer this time. "Don't defend me. I'm not worth getting into arguments over even if you like to do so." It wasn't modesty. It was simply the conclusion he'd reached after months of watching people take issue with him regardless of what he did. "If stepping down was your choice, then... alright. I'll respect it. If you thought it was better for the Coalition, then I'll believe you."
Vivek's next point earned him a long, thoroughly unimpressed stare. "You know what annoys me? That everyone seems convinced a man and a woman can't just be friends." He leaned back, rubbing tiredly at his forehead. "Yeah, she came after me. Yeah, she glared at you. I know how that looks. But from where I'm standing? I told her to stay inside because I wanted to talk to you. She ignored that because she's stubborn and because she cared. Those aren't the same thing." His shoulders lifted in a tired shrug. "I'm living with her because she's my friend. I'm friends with her because she's nice, and because she's one of the very few people in this town who actually treats me like a person before a scientist, or a wolf, or a problem to fix. Maybe I'm wrong. Wouldn't be the first time. She's pretty straightforward with thing, so if it is how you say, then she would tell me shed liked me in that way. But she hasn't, so..." he shrugged. "I don't want every decent thing someone does for me to mean they must secretly want something else from me. That's a miserable way to look at people. We're just friends. That's all."
Dhruv let out an exasperated breath. "I literally just said don't take the bloody stuff. I have lab rats for experiments. I don't need my best mate volunteering." The next part drew an eye roll. "I'm not putting my life on yours, idiot. You're one of the reasons I'm here." He looked over at him then, the annoyance giving way to something quieter. "Logically, it's not like hunters can't come into this town either. They did in the past. And I've survived as a werewolf outside, didn't die." It was laughable really that his chances of dying increased when he came into town, but Dhruv didn't feel like laughing. "I'm here because there are people I still want to be here for. You included."
Dhruv didn't answer immediately. His gaze settled somewhere across the room, unfocused, his thoughts drifting back to the one night everything had gone quiet. "I'd want it permanently," he admitted at last. "Not for an hour. I was injected that night..." His fingers flexed unconsciously against his knee. "I couldn't shift. Couldn't hear everything. Wasn't unnaturally strong. My head was..." He searched for the word before giving up. "Normal. I'd go back to that." It wasn't said with shame. If anything, there was relief buried somewhere inside the confession. He'd choose being human again without a doubt. "So I get it." His voice remained calm. "I understand wanting something back badly enough that you'll ignore every warning someone gives you. But that shouldn't come at the cost of you losing yourself completely. It's not worth it. What happened to Bobby, will happen again. The serum is still crude, side effects linger, can't seem to isolate it either... there's so many unknown variables. So, if you're actually asking me that, then, no. I'd want to know everything before I do it. I'd rather not keep chasing that high an hour at a time."
Dhruv was quiet for a long moment after that, gaze settling somewhere on the floor instead of on Vivek. The silence wasn't awkward, never was around him but his brain did run out of room. "I'm done talking now," he muttered eventually, not irritated at all, just worn thin by everything they'd just dragged back to the surface. "Seriously. I came here specifically so I could stop thinking for a bit, and somehow you've managed to make me explain everything that's ever happened." He grabbed the bottle that Vivek brought down with him. The smell wasn't the best, but he took a long chug of it anyway. "The joint did fuck all, mate. Did you even give me the right one?" Dragging a hand across his face, Dhruv took another sip and willed himself to relax. "Talk about literally anything else. Movies. Aliens. Movies about aliens. I don't care. Just... give my brain ten bloody minutes. I'm gonna shut up now."
Lara just grunted. She didn't want his thanks, she wanted his cooperation while she attempted to figure out what the fuck was going on. Because "better" still wasn't quite right. He was weak, he smelled like blood and sweat, like something wasn't quite right. She let him sit for a moment, but she wasn't going to simply leave him there. This was just a stop for him to catch his breath.
It was enough of an explanation, pieced together as it was, for Lara to understand the what of it. In a way. He was out looking for his friend and felt lightheaded, yes. That makes sense. Walking, fainting, it has happened to many and will continue to do so. "Then I would like to know the why." She nudges him to stand and moves towards the door, holding it open.
Dhruv let himself be nudged upright, but before he could take a step in the direction, his feet stopped of their own accord, gaze lingering on the open doorway for a moment longer than it should have. "Could we... stay out here?" A familiar unease settled low in his chest before he quietly looked away, turning his head instead towards the trees and open space around him. "Just for a little while." He rubbed at the back of his neck, searching for a reason that made more sense than admitting claustrophobia had him in its grip. "The air helps." It wasn't entirely false. It did ease the lingering haze, even if only a little. "Picnic?" he joked, pointing to the fields behind him. "Humour me?"
But the smile he gave her, didn't last long. "I'm trying to figure out all the side effects still... apparently fainting's on the list now." A humourless huff escaped him. "But I was injected with ichor at the masquerade. It stopped me from shifting that night, and I figured that was the end of it, but since then... things have been strange."
