Diabolical Diabetic

⋮ Wishing you a high life & a low A1C ⋮

[diabolicaldiabetic]

me: ask me about my pump! I'm always willing to answer questions!

someone: what's that on your arm?

me:

[diabolicaldiabetic]

unfollow me if you pronounce it "DiA-bEe-TuS"

[diabolicaldiabetic]

Hello, friends. I am back.

I want to say thank you. I haven't posted in such a long time but it means the world to me that you are all still here. I feel terrible for letting this blog go untouched for so long. I'm going through a burnout phase right now and it's really bad this time. I'm hopeful that things will turn around soon but I'm not sure how to make that happen. If anyone has any tips to get motivated with diabetes care again, please let me know.

I will resume posting soon. Thanks for being patient with me, diabuddies. Much love 💕

[diabolicaldiabetic]

I had to watch a 32 minute diabetes education

c R i N g E  f E s T

video for CNA homework and the whole time I just ↴

just watch it lol

[diabolicaldiabetic]

Well hi to you too, little buddy! :D

(lol i'm dying)

[diabolicaldiabetic]

🌼 new tattoos, new pod, same old me 🌼

(happy friday the 13th, my precious lil diabetes friends)

[diabolicaldiabetic]

I have a coworker with T2D and the other day I said “I’m super tired, I bet my blood sugar is high” to which she replied “yeah, mine has been high for the past few days so I’ve just stopped checking it”

and honestly…mood as hell, threcia 

[diabolicaldiabetic]

@my chronically ill body: haha good one!! but can you actually get back to work now? please? :) :) :’)

[diabolicaldiabetic]

☁️💙 a gloomy evening with my favorite girl 💙☁️

[diabolicaldiabetic]

Daily reminder...

Take care of yourself above all else. Check your blood sugars and take your insulin to the best of your ability. Focus on your self love and self respect because at the end of the day, no matter what anyone might say to you, we only have ourselves and Type 1 Diabetes.

[diabolicaldiabetic]

I’m just here to shoutout the fact that talking to your endo about mental health stuff can be scary but if it’s affect your control of your diabetes you have to do it. (A v v scared 15 year old who has an endo appointment soon)

Hello! Thank you for your message! Here’s how I feel:

I love my endo to death. He is amazing and it’s breaking my heart that I will have to leave him soon. But as wonderful as he is, he is not diabetic himself. You can only be taught so much about diabetes care; somethings you just have to experience yourself to understand. I feel like every time I have an appointment, there’s always something he criticizes and tries to help me improve on, which it is great to always have goals, but it can also be exhausting. It’s okay to make mistakes. No diabetic is ever perfect. We all miss blood sugar checks and bolus doses every now and then (especially the old me). Diabetes has been a very, very rough road for me and until this year, I basically ignored it. I didn’t know how to cope with my illness so I never did. Long story short, I’ve worked extremely hard the past 6 months to deal with my emotions and to take better care of myself. I’ve made big strides towards a healthier lifestyle that I am now proud of. I wrote that post shortly before my last appointment because I was fearful of how it would go. I’ve heard criticism from my care team for years now and the thought of facing that again gave me so much anxiety. I know it’s their job to improve me and I am so thankful for all of them, but feeling like I’m never good enough takes a toll. They’re all very supportive people, but none of them actually have diabetes and therefore can’t know exactly how I’m feeling. They don’t get it when I say “Constantly worrying about and counting my carb intake is exhausting” or “I don’t like checking my blood sugar in public because people will stare”. They see everything from a strictly medical point of view. To give you an example, I once vented to my endo about how I would die for just one day of normality again. He replied, “This is your normal now. You just have to do it”. They don’t understand the emotional impact of being diabetic and I don’t expect them to. I guess I’m looking more for some kind of understanding that no person with a functioning pancreas could ever provide. 

For that reason, I tend to just post about my fears here and focus on the physical issues that he can help me with. Again, he really tries to be as supportive as possible, but there’s only so much he can do. 

I wish you all the best for your upcoming appointment. Hopefully you can share some of your feelings with your endo the way that I wish I had the courage too. Best of luck, friend!

[diabolicaldiabetic]

I have a big test tomorrow and I can’t help but wonder...

What if my pump wakes me up and I don’t get enough sleep tonight?

What if my blood sugar is high during my exam and I can’t remember anything?

What if I drop low and answer something stupid?

What if my pump beeps during my exam and everyone stares?

What if my exam proctor doesn’t let me take emergency snacks in with me because they don’t understand?

What if I didn't have to focus so heavily on diabetes and could worry only about my education?

[diabolicaldiabetic]

Let’s all take a moment of silence to remember the fully stocked kitchen that I had before this low. RIP, old friend 😔 💔 

[diabolicaldiabetic]

I just got a new supervisor at work and every time she sees me eating something “bad” she very loudly and in an over dramatically shocked voice says “YOU’RE EATING THAT!!?!” And the one day I didn’t go into work cause my blood sugar was high so I felt shitty and the next day the first thing she asks me is “WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN EATING?!?”And I know she’s doing to try and be funny but it’s honestly starting to piss me off so much. Anyways sorry for the big rant and sorry that lady was rude to you.

Okay that is seriously my biggest diabetes pet peeve. Nobody other than you and your health care providers can tell you how to care for your body, even if it’s a “joke”.

Eat whatever you want, anon. Eat her damn pancreas next time.

Thank you for sharing! I’m loving hearing these stories.

[diabolicaldiabetic]

The most defeated I've ever felt was when this girl told me that cheezits song have sugar and it won't make my low blood sugar go up...I corrected her and she told me she learned diabetes from school so she knew more then me...I literally just started to cry.

Wow I am really glad that I didn’t go to her school if that’s how they’re teaching health. It’s one thing to accidentally believe false information, but to then tell you that YOU are wrong after correcting her, when obviously having the disease makes you pretty well educated on it, is just ridiculous. People can be so ignorant sometimes. I’m sorry that you had to deal with that. 

I’m here for ya, anon. 

Thanks so much for sharing your story! 

Next time carry two bags, one for the lows and one to throw at the haters

[diabolicaldiabetic]

Today was my second day with my CGM... and it did not go well.

I've gotten many positive comments about my CGM, although today at work, I had a customer feel the need to tell me that she thought the fact that there is a needle constantly in my arm is "disgusting". 

When she said that, I realized I've hit a new point in my diabetes care. I'm past the point of shock when people insult me. I'm over the anger. I don't get sad anymore. Now it overwhelms me with exhaustion and defeat. I hate having to explain what’s different about my body only to have it ridiculed and shamed, when I didn’t even ask for opinions in the first place.

I’m tired of constantly having to stand up for myself. 

I’m tired of being diabetic.

(Only 50 or so more years to go, right?)

[diabolicaldiabetic]

me: I've been managing myself much better with my pump!! I swear haha :)

my endo: mhmmm show me the numbers

me: *hands over meter*

my endo: