petty human fools

I am the pug called Antonius Junius Maximus IV - though, to the weak-minded human fools, I am known as 'Noodles'. My Master is Euron Greyjoy. I have pledged eternal war with the human woman known as 'Falia'. She will receive no mercy. The Master may only love one, and I shall emerge victorious. All will love me and despair.

[diabolicalpug]

[sprays you in the butt with water]

NOODLES DOES NOT APPRECIATE THIS GESTURE, HUMAN WOMAN

[diabolicalpug]

[puts food and water bowl up on the counter]

CURSE YOU, HUMAN WOMAN. YOU ARE THE SPAWN OF ALL THINGS EVIL AND REPUGNANT. RETURN NOODLES’ FOOD AND WATER CONTAINERS TO THEIR RIGHTFUL PLACE OR FACE THE WRATH OF THE PUG!!!

[falsfromgrace]

Falia turned the setting from mist to jet and sprayed Noddles in the face and up his nose. “Stop it dog, you’ve been beaten!” She said continuing to spray him. 

[diabolicalpug]

Noodles balked, hurriedly scurrying away, his curly tail twitching furiously. "YOU HAVE WON THE BATTLE, HUMAN WOMAN... BUT YOU HAVE NOT WON THE WAR!" He yelled, retreating to the safety of his dogbed.

[diabolicalpug]

[puts food and water bowl up on the counter]

CURSE YOU, HUMAN WOMAN. YOU ARE THE SPAWN OF ALL THINGS EVIL AND REPUGNANT. RETURN NOODLES’ FOOD AND WATER CONTAINERS TO THEIR RIGHTFUL PLACE OR FACE THE WRATH OF THE PUG!!!

[falsfromgrace]

Falia rolled her eyes and sprayed his stomach. “That, stupid dog is my own magic and you will not be the boss in this house!” She sprayed him several more times. 

[diabolicalpug]

Noodles roared and flailed around some more. "THE HUMAN WOMAN WILL SUFFER FOR THIS! SHE WILL REGRET! SHE WILL KNOW PAIN!" He rolled over onto his feet again, sopping wet, barking at her. "NOODLES WILL DESTROY YOU!"

[diabolicalpug]

[puts food and water bowl up on the counter]

CURSE YOU, HUMAN WOMAN. YOU ARE THE SPAWN OF ALL THINGS EVIL AND REPUGNANT. RETURN NOODLES’ FOOD AND WATER CONTAINERS TO THEIR RIGHTFUL PLACE OR FACE THE WRATH OF THE PUG!!!

[falsfromgrace]

Falia grabbed the spray bottle and sprayed him with it. “Bad dog!” She called, spraying him on the nose, eyes and mouth. “Bad dog!” 

[diabolicalpug]

Noodles yelped, reeling away. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?" He wailed, rolling over onto his back and flailing his stubby little legs in the air. "ARGH--- HUMAN WOMAN! YOU SHALL PAY! WHAT WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION IS THIS?!"

[omgmscuddlecakes]

[pugs-are-amazing]

[diabolicalpug]

[puts food and water bowl up on the counter]

CURSE YOU, HUMAN WOMAN. YOU ARE THE SPAWN OF ALL THINGS EVIL AND REPUGNANT. RETURN NOODLES’ FOOD AND WATER CONTAINERS TO THEIR RIGHTFUL PLACE OR FACE THE WRATH OF THE PUG!!!

[falsfromgrace]

Falia grabbed his favorite toys and placed them up on the counter too. “There… now you can just bitch at Euron for me. Stupid fucking dog..” She walked away from him. 

[diabolicalpug]

"HUMAN WOMAN!" Noodles barked incessantly. "RETURN NOODLES' INSTRUMENTS OF AMUSEMENT, THIS INSTANT!" He ran at her, barking and nipping at her heels. "THE HUMAN WOMAN'S SHOES SHALL BE CHEWED AND STREWN ABOUT THE LAWN. THE HUMAN WOMAN SHALL FIND EXCREMENT UPON HER HUMAN-DOG-BED!!"

[diabolicalpug]

[puts food and water bowl up on the counter]

CURSE YOU, HUMAN WOMAN. YOU ARE THE SPAWN OF ALL THINGS EVIL AND REPUGNANT. RETURN NOODLES' FOOD AND WATER CONTAINERS TO THEIR RIGHTFUL PLACE OR FACE THE WRATH OF THE PUG!!!

[crowneddragonprince]

  "No… not… Jonathan Rhys Meyers?!" 

[diabolicalpug]

"Indeed." Noodles grinned an evil, puggish grin, giving a snort. "Jonathan Rhys Meyers."

[crowneddragonprince]

"You know what?" Viserys takes Noddles’ food dish and places it up highr so that he can’t reach it. "That’s how I roll, bitch! Suck it." 

[diabolicalpug]

"YOU DARE?!" Roared Noodles, the fur on the back of his squishy, fat little neck rising. "You have no idea of the hell you have unleashed upon yourself, spindly human. Noodles had a master prior to the Crow's Eye. A master most evil..." His beady, evil eyes narrowed as he whispered... "JRM."

[crowneddragonprince]

I happen to be very handsome, thank you. 

You have weird beady eyes that will pop out of your head if you fall over. 

[diabolicalpug]

Noodles' eyes are the eyes of shadow and darkness, and all the evil in the world. Do not test Noodles' patience, spindly human; or your death shall be most slow and painful.

[crowneddragonprince]

  my god, I hate dogs. Especially ugly dogs with upturned noses that resemble pigs with fur. 

[diabolicalpug]

Noodles is a pug most handsome. Has the spindly human looked in a mirror recently?

[diabolicalpug]

You smell of desperation and cheap wine, spindly human.

[falsfromgrace]

[text] We don’t have anymore food. 

[text] None for you. 

[text] All the dogs have already been fed. 

[text] But you can ask your master to do that for you. 

[text] Bitch. 

[diabolicalpug]

[text] noodles was neglected to be fed

[text] this must be immediately rectified

[text] master is not within the house at the present time, and noodles requires immediate sustenance, as his tummy is giving the rumblies

[text] noodles is no bitch, the human woman is surely referring to herself

[diabolicalpug]

[text] human woman

[text] noodles requires sustenance

[text] noodles expects his required nutrients in his doggy bowl immediately 

[diabolicalpug]

[text] the human woman will regret not walking me

[falsfromgrace]

[text] what? who is this?

[diabolicalpug]

[text] noodles is the human woman’s bane. noodles is the danger. noodles is the pug who knocks

[falsfromgrace]

[text] …. I fucking hate you.

[diabolicalpug]

[text] noodles expresses the same sentiment towards the human woman

[diabolicalpug]

[text] the human woman will regret not walking me

[falsfromgrace]

[text] what? who is this?

[diabolicalpug]

[text] noodles is the human woman’s bane. noodles is the danger. noodles is the pug who knocks