Kaledo Art
occasionally subtle
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will byers stan first human second
blake kathryn
JVL
Three Goblin Art
art blog(derogatory)
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
ellievsbear
Claire Keane
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Misplaced Lens Cap
pixel skylines
#extradirty
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Not today Justin
Cosimo Galluzzi
oozey mess
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@diagnosticmessgrrrl
so my therapist thinks i have bipolar ii, and also that the 'characters' are in fact an old coping mechanism, not a disorder. i honestly do feel kind of relieved? but i am still processing the bipolar ii thing. i never even considered it, despite the fact that i am well aware of my hypomanic episodes. idk. ill think about it later
Does anyone else just get so sad when you think of the people who helped you through all your shit, especially when you know/suspect they never got a happy ending? From elementary school to high school, I had friends in similar situations as mine, I know some of them got into drugs, went to prison. I suspect some commited suicide. They helped me get to where I am, and I hope they're all in recovery...
Well, I've decided that I'll try and talk to themTM, so I'll be writing a letter of apology later. It is super weird though, I tried to tell my fiance and I literally couldnt, and I ended up having a really bad disociative episode. Hopefully that doesn't happen when I talk to my therapist 👀👀👀
And now that im thinking about it, my head feels loud. Like slamming and yelling and I cant think. Ughhhhh
Question for those of you that have "parts", mostly aiming towards IFS and OSDD, but DID folks are welcome to give their perspective! I am diagnosed with PTSD, depression, and anxiety, just for clarity.
So. My new therapist is going to be working with me on trauma processing, and I feel like I should let her know about the "parts" in my head, 1. Because allowing them to be with me from the start and not just accidently 'reviving' them (since theyre currently walled off) might be A Lot, and 2. When they are present, they really help me in multiple ways.
But! I do not want to misconstrue my experience, and I have wondered before if my theory of them being an old coping mechanism or actual dissasociated parts is the reality. I know no one can diagnose me besides my therapist, but itd be helpful if I could compare experiences.
A couple examples of how they work:
No amnesia. I don't really remember anything before 10 well, so maybe I just don't experience it now. It would help explain the extreme anger I went to therapy for in elementary school, since from what I can recall I wasn't ever really angry as a child.
They are more than just emotions. For example, Marie likes having her nails done. I hate it. Axle is primarily motivated by anger, but also just generally distrusts people, while I have been told I'm too trusting and if Axle is out he will sabotage new relationships without my consent. Theres more but its a lot to list lol.
They mostly come out (without my doing) during extremely stressful times. Like right now, I'm relativley stable, and it feels like there's a brick wall in the back of my head. I feel so... empty? Low on motivation? Low on emotions? I conciously ignored them so they would go away since I was/am convinced theyre just an old coping mechanism.
I have known/been concious of them for a very long time, since at least before the age of 12.
They communicate in pictures, dreams, emotions, and by outright acting through my body.
Feel free to like if you'd prefer pming, or just reblog with your concept!
this is basically turning into a vent blog but w/e
tw food talk
.
why is it that eating healthy AND REGULARLY was easier both at my aunts house and my parents? THERES NOTHING TO FUCKING EAT HERE. i am starving most of the day, and it fuxking sucks. jayden doesnt listen to me, or seemingly care. I HAD TO FIGHT HIS MOM TO GET SOME ACTUAL VEGETABLES. im just so tired of this shit. i was doing so well, me and jayden were discussing getting healthier foods to eat, and when we have the opportunity? no. god i hate this.
i need help i think? i was standing and talking to my boyfriend, when my throat tightened and i felt so dizzy i had to sit. when i got up my throat was still tight, still light headed, vaguely confused, all my upper joints started hurting but especially on my left. i layed down a while ago cuz of fatigue and brain fog, when i got up and was up for less than five min. im gonna go to the doctor in a few hours or if it gets worse. i feel like im not getting enough oxygen? idk whats going on
that anger that kept me alive and surviving is just gone. no one in my head is talking. im having more days where i cant think, and im exhausted every day. i dont know whats going on anymore
honestly, as someone who got tbis real young, i feel a lot more kinship with people who have autism than people who got brain damage later in life. a lot of them are real focused on who they were before, but there is no before for me, plus a lot of tbi stuff matches up with autism stuff (which is probs why you cant get diagnosed with autism if you have brain damage as a kid)
its been a while
my phone is now either white or flashing white, like its basically unusable. my fiances day off is today so hopefully i can get it fixed, cause i really need it for school and just general coping lmao
life continues to be a series of 3 steps forward 2 steps back but im dealing
idk yall
i think i have a headache. i feel really slow and tired, and its hard to think. the joints of my jaw hurts, idk. i hope tomorrow is better
Day 2 of the ptsd thingy by @ptsdconfessions
what are some good things that happened in your life?
meeting my fiance, realizing i was bi, all the friends i made that helped me live. those are general. its kinda painful for me to remember any of the good times, especially any involving my parents.
i used to go on late night walks with Stepdad. we would talk really openly about things like addiction and hard drugs. with my mom theres a lot more good, but it hurts more to remember.
god being hypervigilant of men is fycking exhausting
low functioning is not an autism exclusive term, dont @ me.
im starting to think im low functioning. i struggle, every day, with basic self care. i forget to shower, brush my teeth, do homework, EAT. and if i do remember, theres about a 25% chance i wont/cant even get up and do it. i spend most of my days in college, laying in bed, and trying to take care of the dog. its just really annoying and exhausting. like, people think its so nice to be 'lazy' and lay around in bed all day. it fucking sucks. and while i love all the positivity blogs, they focus on getting better, and most of the time thats just not realistic for me. @sweetschizo has been really helpful in accepting this (go follow her if ya dont)
day 1 of the qs from @ptsdconfessions
What symptoms do you experience?
mostly hypervigilance, a lotta irritability. disassociation, flashbacks sorta. i think my intrusive daydreams about my trauma or generally triggering moments counts. its hard to tell whats brain damage and whats ptsd sometimes
This is a recovery challenge for anyone dealing with trauma / PTSD. Feel free to do in your own time or every day, in a journal or on your blog, using writing, photos, or a mixture. Feel free to tag “ptsdconfessions” in any entries you put on your blog!
Day 1: What kinds of symptoms do you experience?
Day 2: What are some good things that have happened in your life?
Day 3: Is there anything your trauma stops you from doing?
Day 4: Does anyone else know about the trauma you experienced?
Day 5: Are there any books, movies, games, etc. that have changed how you view yourself / your trauma?
Day 6: Do you have trouble remembering aspects of the traumatic event(s)?
Day 7: If you could change the past so that the event(s) never happened, would you?
Day 8: What song best summarises your experience with trauma / PTSD?
Day 9: Do you feel that experiencing trauma has changed you?
Day 10: Write a letter to the cause of your PTSD.
Day 11: Are there any quotes that inspire you?
Day 12: Pay it forward. Do a random act of kindness.
Day 13: What kinds of therapy or self-help have you done?
Day 14: What’s the hardest thing about recovering from trauma?
Day 15: How does the event impact on your day-to-day life?
Day 16: Do you like to use fidget toys?
Day 17: What motivates you?
Day 18: Do you have any unhealthy coping mechanisms?
Day 19: What helps you get through the hardest days?
Day 20: Do you know anyone who has experienced something similar? If so, how do they cope with it?
Day 21: What things trigger your symptoms?
Day 22: Is there anything you’d like to tell anyone about your trauma?
Day 23: What things help you feel safe?
Day 24: What does a good day look like for you?
Day 25: Is there anything positive you’ve experienced in recovering from trauma?
Day 26: How have your symptoms changed over time?
Day 27: Do you feel that experiencing trauma has affected your relationships with others?
Day 28: What goals do you have?
Day 29: What’s your best method for getting through bad days?
Day 30: What do you want to get out of recovery?
ill be doing this, might do a couple in one day then miss a couple days tho lol
big triggered right now, i was outside smoking and i heard my bfs family fighting, then someone i thought had my number saved just sorta freaked out on me
not feelin good boyyyyys
