“When it was a game, all about winning and no one said please play responsibly”
Life is a board game. You roll the dice, gamble with the chance of success. You move forward and then back. Sometimes you’re all in and sometimes you fold. There’s winners and there’s losers. But unlike board games, in life, even the winners lose.
heyyy i know someone else did this already but it was done so incredibly well i need to see it done again so could you pleaseeee maybe write and au with paige and azzi in the hunger games i think you would do amazing please consider it 🥰🥰
okay so don't fight me because i know y'all like to tussle...
but i haven't actually watched any of the hunger games or read any of the books
PJ!!! How are you?! How have you been omg. You’ve been gone for so long? How is life queen, give us updates!
hiiii babe <3
omg i'm so late and so sorry. i'm great, how are you? life has been LIFING a bit too hard but it's okay, i'm okay :) how are you?? tell me all the things <3
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7
Your mouth is poison (your mouth is wine)
(In which an all over the place writer, writes something that's a little bit all over the place)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst, Fluff, Jealousy,
Words: 9.0K
TW: Swearing, a little bit of violence, mentions of blood, men being men
A/N: Hi lovelies :) Unfortunately, as I've been warning y'all for a while, the deadline did finally slip through my fings. However I'm hoping y'all will forgive me for it because I am only one day late and this chapter is quite long. I do wanna warn y'all in advance that there won't be a chapter next week because I am going on vacation and my laptop is staying very, very far away from me. There's a lot going on in this chapter and I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing but I'm hoping y'all will enjoy it anyways. I did actually edit this time but who knows how successful that was, so please let me know about typos/mistakes. As always, feel free to tell me about what you liked, what you disliked and anything you'd like to see going forward. Have a lovely rest of your weeks my loves <3
August 2025
Azzi Fudd is a spectacular liar. She excels at keeping up a façade of yes everything is perfectly fine in front of her friends and family. She’s quite good at tricking people she can barely stand into thinking oh yes i’m totally enjoying this conversation. But the person Azzi lies the most to, is without a doubt herself. As she steps out of the car into the hot Indiana air, bustling with noises from the growing crowd inside, Azzi internally repeats a lie to herself again: she did not show up to all-star weekend for a glimpse of her ex girlfriend. She’s here, as per Colleen’s managerial advice, to build connections, to further her career and to expand on opportunities in the basketball world. The fact that Paige Bueckers, who Azzi hasn’t seen in three months -the longest period of time they’d spent apart since she’d started at UConn- is definitely also going to be attending tonight’s party, is merely a happenstance.
Taking a deep breath, Azzi puts one kitten heeled foot in front of the other, trying to ignore her heightened nerves. This isn’t her preferred scene by any means. She’d much rather be back in her hotel room, curled on her couch with a book and a pint of ice cream. It’s not that Azzi doesn’t like parties; she has her fair share of fun at Ted’s, but it’s the unfamiliarity of the environment and the lack of that once ever present comforting hand that used to tap out i’m here for you against the back of her own at big events like these, that has her yearning to crawl back into the car and hide away.
“Azzi?” a familiar voice calls from behind her and Azzi lets out a sigh of relief as she sees Aaliyah walking towards her with a large welcoming grin, “Azeray!”
“Li-Li. Thank god you’re here,” Azzi reaches up to hug her former teammate, mentally thanking whatever god was looking out for her. She’d dreaded walking in by herself and now she wouldn’t have to. Really she probably should probably send Coach a ‘thank you’ text for having so many alumni in the league that there was bound to be a Husky she could attach herself to for the night.
“I’m glad to see you too Az,” Aaliyah says, pulling away and looking at Azzi with a semi-concerned look, “but you seem a little extra relieved to see me? You good dude?”
“Just- just a little nervous,” Azzi admits, shuffling her feet uneasily.
Realization dawns on Aaliyah’s face, “cause of Paige?”
“No you know I don’t like big unfamiliar places,” Azzi sighs when Aaliayh gives her a pointed look, “but I guess maybe- maybe a little cause of Paige.”
The Mystics forward shakes her head before linking her arms through Azzi’s, “I swear, I leave y’all for one year and everything implodes-," she bites her tongue, "shit was that insensitive?”
“No,” Azzi grimaces, “that’s pretty much exactly what happened.”
Something hard coils in her stomach at Aaliyah’s words. The truth is they’d been fine. Better than fine even. And then suddenly Azzi was lighting a box of matches she hadn’t even known she was holding and her whole world was on fire; an implosion of everything Azzi had once thought inflammable. She’d burned her hands trying to rescue them and all she has to show for it are invisible red hot pustules that refuse to heal. But perhaps, she thinks, that’s what a pyromaniac like her had deserved.
Azzi cowers under the flashing lights of the cameras, clinging tighter to Aaliyah’s arm as the two of them make their way onto the orange carpet, the cameramen immediately swinging their devices to capture the college basketball player more than likely to be the number one pick in next year’s WNBA draft. She feels herself tense under their piercing gaze, anchored only by Aaliyah's strong and steady presence next to her. And as they pose for the cameras, she’s thankful for her former teammate’s company but she can’t shake the feeling that it should have been someone else.
“And look who we have here,” Lexie Brown says excitedly as the two of them approach the interviewer, “y’all Huskies clean up nice.”
“We try, we try,” Aaliyah answers charismatically, doing a little hair flip to match her tone.
“Aaliyah, it's your first all-star nod, how are you feeling?”
“I feel great, you know it’s always good to see yourself being acknowledged and being an all-star has always been a goal of mine. So, I hope it’s the first of many and I’m just hoping my team gets the W tomorrow,” Aaliyah answers diplomatically.
Lexie turns to Azzi, “I bet you’re really proud of her. I mean you’ve got a couple of teammates who are first-time all stars between Aaliyah and Paige. You’ve gotta be feeling pretty proud of them”
“Y-yeah I mean,” Azzi clears her throat, trying not to flinch at the mention of Paige’s name, “It’s been- it’s been really exciting to watch them and I’m extremely proud-”
She’s cut off by the sound of excited chatter filling up the air and Azzi doesn’t have to turn around to know who’s just entered the premises. Not when she has a whole separate sensory system that flares up just for her. Azzi’s skin prickles as she registers the sound of familiar peals of laughter echoing from the orange carpet. She digs her nails into the palm of her hand, forcing herself not to turn around.
“Speak of the devil,” Lexie says goodnaturedly, getting her hand ready to beckon the blonde over and Azzi feels panic suffocate her lungs, not quite ready to face Paige yet.
“Oh I don’t think-” Aaliyah tries to cut in, glancing worriedly at her friend but it’s too late.
“Paige,” Lexie calls out, beaming over Azzi’s head at the Dallas Wings’ newest star point guard.
The world seems to move in slow motion as Azzi feels Paige getting closer and closer to her. She smells the faint scent of fresh mint weaved with a hint of citrus first. Then she hears the sound of Paige’s breathing, perfectly even to anybody else but Azzi can hear the staggered harshness hidden beneath it. And as the blonde passes over her to settle on Lexi’s other side, she feels Paige’s arm brush against her own and it hurts to breathe. The contact lasts for a second but Azzi swears it’ll last forever, tattooing itself on her bicep as a wretched reminder of a touch she’s no longer allowed to crave.
It’s funny, there’s a hurricane swirling between them and Paige can barely look at Azzi, keeping her eyes firmly on Lexie and Aaliyah as she greets the trio. And yet, there’s a sense of calm -of peace- that seems to wash over Azzi just by having Paige near her again. The older woman seems to possess some sort of magical power that weaves itself into Azzi’s nervous system, soothing away her frazzled nerves with an unspoken promise of and if you give me the chance i’ll make it all okay.
Despite the hectic transition from a full college season to a frantic W season, Paige looks ethereal as always. Her two piece cropped vest top and straight fitted pants match the color of her eyes and a silver chain dangles across her chest. Two strands of blonde hair hide her signature diamond studs, the rest of it pulled back into a slightly messy bun. Azzi gulps at the way the vest top parts right above her midriff, Paige’s toned abs playing peek-a-boo behind it. She lets her eyes roam over Paige’s exposed arms, trying to ignore memories of how they used to go taut under her touch, down to the blonde’s bare fingers and she feels her heart constrict. No rings. It feels wrong. But then again, nothing has felt right for three months.
“Azzi,” Aaliyah hisses and Azzi snaps out of her thoughts, realizing she’d been asked a question.
“Sorry,” she laughs nervously, moving a strand of her hair out of her face; Paige’s eyes intently following the movement, “what was the question.”
Lexie smiles, “I was just asking about your thoughts on Paige’s amazing rookie year so far?”
“Oh um-” Azzi hesitates, shivers inching up her spine as she feels Paige drinking in the sight of the her body like she's a woman parched, “I’m just-” their eyes lock with each other’s and everything else seems to vanish until it feels like it’s just the two of them floating in between remnants of what they used to be, “I’m just really proud of her. I always knew she’d be amazing. She’s just doing what she always does. Being the best player she can be. So yeah I’m just- I’m just really proud of her.”
And Azzi doesn’t know how they got to this point where Paige seems almost shocked that Azzi could be proud of her, to this point where there’s droplets threatening to spill over both of their water lines and they no longer have the right to wipe each other’s tears away.
“Aww,” Lexie coos, oblivious to the tension, “well on that sweet note, off y’all go and we’ll see y’all later.”
The walk into the party is kept alive with Aaliyah’s attempt at keeping a conversation going. While Paige tries to at least entertain some of, Azzi finds herself completely zoning out until they finally make their way inside into the cacophony of music and laughter.
“Y’all wanna get-” Aaliyah begins.
“I see Jewell and Téa,” Paige cuts her off immediately, her legs already moving in a rush, “I’ll see y’all later.”
She gives Aaliyah a tentative grin but barely looks at Azzi as she practically trips over her pant-sleeves trying to get away. It feels like something’s biting against her skin, sharp teeth indenting you did this to yourself as Azzi watches Paige walk away. She watches as the tension slowly leaves the blonde’s muscles as she’s pulled into a hug by Jewell and then by Téa. The fake smile that she’d politely kept on her face the last couple of minutes for the sake of the cameras and reporters is replaced by something far more genuine. Azzi watches as Paige is absorbed into the warmth of the growing crowd, embraced by a league that adores her, and she feels the ice cold pinch of she belongs somewhere without you now start to freeze her own heart.
***
Azzi’s doing fine. She’s gotten through the night with Aaliyah by her side, making small talk with a bunch of different players and she’s managed to keep a friendly smile the whole time. She’d even danced for a little bit, letting loose with some of the other college basketball players that had made the trip to Indianapolis. Sure, she’d occasionally been distracted by her eyes flickering over to the bar and finding a new pretty influencer batting their fake eyelashes at Paige but really she’s doing fine. Her head’s a little dizzy and maybe the third shot of tequila, influenced by a one leggy brunette that had gotten a little too handsy, wasn’t her brightest decision of the night but really, Azzi’s doing fine.
Until she’s not.
And it’s Paige's fault. She had to know that it would be Azzi’s last straw. She had to know that Azzi could live with watching a thousand girls flirt with Paige as long as the blonde in question stood rigidly by the bar doing nothing but smiling politely at them. She had to know that Azzi, after having spent most of their college life watching girls fawn over her girlfriend, could deal with the flirty hands that lingered just a little too long on Paige’s bicep. But it’s when Paige leans into this one girl -whose dark curls and tanned caramel skin are just a little too reminiscent of her own- when Paige’s lips graze just a little to close this one girl’s ear, that Azzi realizes she’s decidedly not fine.
“I need some air,” she manages to bite out, ignoring Aaliyah’s concerned look as she marches out the back door, heading towards the deck.
Azzi buries her face in her hands as she leans back against the brick wall. She knows she’s being unfair; knows she has absolutely no right to feel this way but something burns within her anyways and the light breeze does nothing to cool it down.
“I’m not cheating on you,” a harsh voice interrupts her pity party and Azzi sucks in a sharp breath, “We’re not together and I can flirt or kiss or fuck-” she flinches, “anyone if I want to.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” Paige’s voice is laced with accusation, “because the way you just stormed out says otherwise.”
Azzi continues to keep her head in her palms, refusing to look at the blonde, “it’s hot and stuffy in there. I just needed some fresh air.”
“Don’t you ever get tired of lying,” Paige spits out.
“Well what do you want me to say instead?” Azzi finally looks up, her even cadence in stark contrast to Paige’s fiery tone, “I know we’re not together-”
“Because that’s what you wanted-”
“I know,” Azzi yells, and then quieter, “I know. I know I- I know I did this. But that- that doesn’t make it any easier to see you with someone else,” she swallows, “doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Doesn’t mean I don’t miss you.”
Paige scoffs, rubbing her face as she begins to pace, “you miss me? I was at Mohegan when y’all had summer camp. The whole team showed up to the game except for you and you want me to believe that you miss me?”
“I didn’t think you’d want me there,” Azzi confesses in a whisper, “you were so mad at me after-after everything- and I just- I didn’t want to ruin coming back to Connecticut for you.”
“For me,” Paige lets out a laugh devoid of any emotion, “god Azzi there you go again with this fake ‘selfless’ bullshit.”
A thousand and one retorts die on the tip of Azzi’s tongue as she shakes her head and pushes herself off the wall. She can smell the alcohol on Paige, can tell the blonde is itching for an argument but all she feels is pure exhaustion.
“I don’t wanna fight Paige. I’m tired and I just-” she bites her lip, fighting the urge to caress Paige’s cheek, “believe it or don’t but- I really do miss you.”
Sparks of electricity dance their way through Azzi’s veins when Paige curls a hand around her wrist, stopping her in her tracks from going inside. And suddenly she doesn’t feel so cold anymore.
“Dance with me,” Paige whispers.
“What?”
Paige shrugs, tugging on Azzi’s hand to pull her closer, “you said you don’t wanna fight and I- I don’t want you to go,” the confession hangs between them as Paige’s hands fall to Azzi’s waist, “so- let’s just- let’s pretend.”
“What are we pretending?” Azzi asks quietly and despite the warnings ringing in her head, she wraps her arms around Paige’s neck. It feels like coming home.
“We’re pretending that we’re okay,” Paige says softly, holding Azzi’s hips as she begins to sway them gently, “we’re pretending that three months ago you said yes.”
“Paige-”
“Close your eyes Azzi,” the blond waves her hand gently across Azzi’s face, willing both of their eyelids to flutter shut, “we’re pretending that we’re not here- we’re in Minnesota or DC or I don’t know just- anywhere. And our families are here, laughing and talking and some sappy romantic song is playing. It's the best day of our lives and we’re both- we're both dressed in white-”
“Paige,” Azzi lets out a sob, as she begins to understand the picture Paige is painting for them; a picture drawn on a canvas that Azzi had torn up before any color could touch it
“Sshhhh just- let me have this okay,” Paige’s voice trembles as she leans her forehead against Azzi’s, “if I can’t have it for real, please just let me pretend.”
If they were both just a little bit more sober, maybe Azzi would fight Paige’s tightening grip. If they were both just a little bit more sober, maybe Paige would let go. Instead Azzi lets Paige play pretend, lets them keep their bodies pressed against each other, moving from side to side in rhythm with the wind.
It isn’t until she hears footsteps approaching them that Azzi hurriedly moves away first and she can see the betrayal of if only you’d just let me hold you in front of the world written all over Paige’s face. They’re both quick to swap their tears for smiles that don’t reach their eyes as they turn to face the intruders. And Azzi wonders if Paige wishes she’d drank a little bit more too. Because maybe if they were both just a little more drunk, then tomorrow they wouldn’t have to remember just how right it had felt to play pretend tonight.
April 2033
“You look so pretty Mama,” Stephie gushes from where she’s perched on the bed as she watches Azzi put the finishing touches to her makeup
“Thanks baby,” Azzi smiles, blowing a kiss in the mirror.
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie flips the running facetime call, skipping over to her mother with the phone in her hand, “doesn’t Mama look beautiful?”
Sixteen years later, and maybe it’s because of all the time they’d missed in between, but Azzi can’t help the bout of shyness that flushes across her features when Stephie places the phone, Paige’s face illuminated all over it, against the mirror so the blonde can get a proper look at Azzi’s outfit.
“You look-” Paige clears her throat, eyes dilated as they rake over Azzi’s whole body, “you look phenomenal.”
“Big word Bueckers,” Azzi teases, trying to disguise her blush, “did you just learn it?”
Paige rolls her eyes, “can’t even give you a compliment without an insult Fudd.”
“You guys argue too much,” Stephie says exasperatedly, shaking her head at the two adults who laugh. The younger girl sometimes seems far wise beyond her age.
“We’re not arguing Stephie, we’re just-” Azzi struggles to think of a word.
“Foreplaying,” Paige mutters under her breath and Azzi immediately glares at her.
“Paige!”
Stephie scrunches up her nose at the screen, “what does that mean?”
“Nothing,” Azzi says shrilly, “Miss Buecks is just making up words.”
“Why would Miss Buecks do that?” Stephie asks, looking back and forth between her mother and the screen.
“Why does Miss Buecks do anything,” Azzi babbles, as she begins to usher Stephie out of her room, “go grab your things Stephie-bean. Mama’s almost ready to drop you off at Nana and Pop’s house.”
Stephie pouts, “I wanna go to the party with you and Miss Buecks. It’s no fair you both get to go and I don’t,” she picks up the phone, looking at Paige with wide guilt-tripping eyes, “don’t you love me Miss Buecks?”
Azzi has to hand it to her daughter. She’s a smart one to choose Paige as the victim of her emotional blackmail, knowing her wiles had long stopped working on her mother.
“You know I’d take you with me if I could Stephie,” Paige says, “but I’ll make it up to you tomorrow I swear.”
Stephie smiles and Azzi shakes her head at how quickly the five-year old’s plan had worked, “you’ll take me to the park and then we’ll get fries and then get ice cream?”
“That’s a lot of junk food Steph-”
“Ssshh Mama,” Stephie chides, “this is between me and Miss Buecks.”
“The park, then fries, then ice cream it is,” Paige concedes and Azzi rolls her eyes.
Stephie grins brightly, puckering her lips to kiss Paige through the phone and eliciting a laugh from the older woman when she cheers, “you’re the best-est-est Miss Buecks. See you in a little bit. Don’t hang up without saying goodnight.”
“I promise I won’t,” Paige calls out after the little girl as Stepehie hands the phone back to Azzi and starts skipping towards her room.
Azzi gives the blonde a look, “we have got to have a conversation about you learning to say no to her.”
Paige shrugs unhelpfully, “I don’t want to learn how to say no to her.”
“You’re a lost cause,” Azzi remarks, hands on hips, “and foreplay? Seriously? Us bickering is not foreplay.”
“Well it could be if you’d just let me fuck you after,” Paige grumbles and Azzi’s mouth falls open at the bluntness of it.
“You say the most romantic things to me Paige Bueckers.”
They’re both quiet for a second as Azzi moves around her room, collecting her wallet and keys and to put into her purse.
“You know there’s still time for me to come pick you up,” Paige says finally.
“Paige,” Azzi sighs, not wanting a rerun of the same argument they’ve been having for the last week. She knows it’s a touchy subject for Paige; that it veers a little too close to insecurities that stem from their past but she’s not quite ready to take this step yet. There isn’t quite any rhyme or reason to her logic except well, she’s haunted by memories of the last time they’d let the personal mix with the professional. Her phone still holds invitations to countless team reunions that she’d actively avoided and a group chat that she’s long muted. Azzi hasn’t stepped foot in the state of Connecticut since she’d entered the draft; she refuses to lose California too.
“Teammates can carpool,” Paige explains vehemently, “it’s easily explainable.’
“I know-”
“Is this about Clémence?” bitterness tinges the edge of Paige’s voice as she chews her bottom lip. And there it is, the other subject they’d been tip-toeing around since it had been brought up at breakfast a week ago. Paige and Azzi are both excellent at avoiding talking about the harder topics but they’ve never quite managed to let anything go forever.
“Why would this be about Clémence?”
Paige narrows her eyes, sitting up from where she’d previously been lounging against her pillow, “maybe you don’t want her to see us together? Maybe you’re trying to spare her feelings I don’t know.”
“Paige-”
“You know what it’s fine,” Paige huffs, “I’ll see you at the bar Azzi.”
She hangs up before Azzi can say anything and the brunette lets out a litany of curses under her breath, annoyed with Paige’s ability to go from A to Z by skipping everything in between. There’s a part of her that knows Paige deserves an explanation about Clémence, a chance to have her lingering doubts confirmed or denied, but amidst the egoistic thoughts of well she married someone else and the self preservationist urge to prevent a potential fight, she hadn’t been brave enough to approach the topic just quite yet. Azzi’s about to step out of the room, when her phone pings with a facetime call from Paige again.
“Are you calling to apologize for hanging up?” Azzi asks with a frown.
“No,” Paige replies stubbornly, “I called because I hung up without saying goodnight to Stephie and just because I’m mad at you doesn’t mean I’m gonna miss saying goodnight to her.”
Something wonderful and warm blooms in Azzi’s chest as she silently walks over to Stephie’s room. This is a new chapter in Paige’s storybook that she’s slowly beginning to read; one scribbled with the blonde’s devotion to Azzi’s baby girl. Azzi still has every other chapter memorized; had thought nothing could be more beautiful than the words within the one that had been dedicated to her. But she’d been wrong. Because every day that she watches Paige and Stephie fall more and more in love with each other, she finds herself falling in love with how much they love each other.
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie squeals, practically snatching the phone from her mother’s hand as she goofily grins at the screen, “you didn’t hang up.”
“I promised I wouldn’t,” Paige says, the hardness that had existed in her voice while talking to Azzi, dissolving into adulation, “you be good for Nana and Pops okay?”
“I’m always good,” Stephie says matter-of-factly, “can you come over really, really, early tomorrow?”
Paige laughs, “I’ll be there as soon as I wake up.”
“Good,” Stephie claps contentedly as she grabs Azzi’s hand to start walking towards the car, “good night Miss Buecks.”
“Good night Stephie-bean,” Paige echoes, blowing a kiss through the screen.
“Paige,” Azzi says urgently, trying to stop the older woman from hanging up, “can you just hold on a second while I buckle Stephie in.”
“Az-”
“Please.”
“Fine,” Paige says, averting Azzi’s gaze as she sulks.
Azzi lifts Stephie onto the car seat, fastening her seatbelt and pressing a kiss to her daughter’s cheek, before she closes the car door and uses it as a stabilizing structure to lean on as she pulls her phone back in front of her.
“Hey,” she whispers.
“Hi,” Paige says back begrudgingly, “you wanted to say something?”
“I-” Azzi swallows, “don’t go the bar-”
“Oh fantastic,” Paige cuts her off, her voice furious as she glares daggers at Azzi through the phone, “not only do you not want to go to the bar together, you don’t want me to go at all. Fine. Okay. Whatever. I won’t go. You have the time of your life with fucking Clementine or whatever-”
“Yet,” Azzi says loudly, trying to speak over Paige’s angry rant, “don’t go to the bar yet.”
“What?”
Azzi licks her lips, “don’t go yet. I’m gonna drop Stephie off at my parents-”
“What does that have to-”
“Will you just let me fucking finish?” Azzi almost bangs her fist on the car in frustration and she’s glad to see that it makes Paige look just a little bit sheepish, “as I was saying. I’m gonna drop Stephie off at my parents and uh- your house- it’s um- it’s on the way to the bar so I thought,” she shrugs with fake nonchalance, the edge of her mouth turning upwards, “I thought maybe- maybe I could pick you up on the way.”
Paige stares blankly at the screen, eyes blinking as Azzi’s words slowly register, “you- you wanna go to the bar together?”
“I didn’t say that,” Azzi teases, eyes twinkling as she basks in the thrill of eliciting that Azzi smile from Paige’s lips, “teammates carpool right?”
“Teammates definitely carpool.”
April 2029
“You invited Clémence to our movie night?” Jana asks in a whisper, as she walks into the kitchen where Azzi’s making popcorn. Her Saturday nights have gotten rather boring since she’s had Stephie, consisting of alternating between movie nights with Jana and dinner with her parents. It wasn’t the most thrilling of times but she looked forward to them all week, excited to not have to spend a night in solitude.
“She asked what I was doing tonight and I told her we were having a movie night and then she asked if she could join and well I couldn’t just say no,” Azzi explains, sticking the bag into the microwave.
Jana cocks an eyebrow, “do you want me to leave?”
“Why would I want you to leave?” Azzi asks, crinkling her nose as she juts out an ear just in case the baby monitor goes off.
“C’mon Az,” Jana says pointedly, leaning on her elbows against the kitchen counter, “you’re telling me there’s nothing going on between the two of you?”
Azzi grimaces uneasily, not quite wanting to answer the question, “nothing that would require you to leave.”
“If that’s the way you want to play it,” Jana relents, grabbing a soda from the fridge on her way back to the living room, before she pauses in the doorway to look back at Azzi, “but I know what it looks like when somebody’s in love with you. And that girl out there,” she nods her head towards where Clémence is daintily sitting on the couch, “she’s definitely getting there.”
Jana’s a rather observant person but Azzi knows that she’s at least a little bit wrong this time. Because Clémence might be a little bit in love with -even if that’s not a fact Azzi particularly wants to acknowledge- but it's impossible for her to look at Azzi the way Jana remembers someone else looking at her. That had been something completely different; a gaze that saw all the little chinks in her armor, all the imperfections carved against her walls and loved her inspite of them, maybe even because of them. Clémence might love her, but Azzi doesn’t think anyone can be in love with her the way the person she’d been hopelessly in love with, had.
When she walks back into the living room with the popcorn in hand, still plagued by her younger teammate’s words, Azzi’s deliberate to sit on the couch next to Jana instead of the open space next to the francophone. The flash of hurt in Clémence’s eye causes guilt to trickle down her spine but Azzi thinks a flash is better than the tsunami of pain she could cause if she doesn’t start to ease herself out of this right now. There’s a selfish part of her that doesn’t want to, that’s going to miss having somebody who hangs onto her every word. Azzi likes this feeling of being wanted, even if it’s not by the person she wants. But that person isn’t hers to want anymore and she won’t torture Clémence by barricading her in the same jail that has held Azzi’s soul captive for the last four years.
They’re about half way through the movie, awkward tension eased by Jana’s incessant chatter, when Azzi’s phone buzzes. Already confused at the timing of the call, she’s even more perplexed to see Ice’s name flashing on the screen.
“Oooh Iceyyy,” Jana’s eyes light up when she catches a glimpse of the CallerID, “put her on speaker. Ice is one of our UConn teammates,” she explains, turning to Clémence who nods in recognition, “she probably did something dumb as fuck and need Azzi’s advice.”
“Don’t be mean,” Azzi scolds with a grin, knowing that Jana’s probably right as she picks up the call, “hello-”
“I hate you,” Azzi freezes at the sound of the familiar voice, laced with unfamiliar malice. Next to her Jana stiffens immediately while Clémence observes the scene in front of her with a guarded frown.
“Paige who the fuck are you calling?” Ice’s voice is muffled in the background, “oh shit, Paige give me back my phone.”
“No. She needs to hear this,” Paige grits out, her pitch wavering with the effects of alcohol, “she needs to hear how much I fucking hate her. Azzi do you hear me? I can hear you breathing. I know you’re there. Did you hear what I said?”
“Paige,” Ice hisses again.
Azzi swallows the lump in her throat, fingers digging into her bare thighs as she grips her phone so hard, she half-expects it to break into pieces in a reflection of her heart, “I heard you Paige.”
“Good. Because I do. I really fucking hate you,” Paige repeats again and Azzi flinches, “you ruined me Azzi. And now you’re ruining my marriage. My wife is perfect. She loves me. She loves being seen with me. She loves being known as my wife. Everything I ever wanted from you, she’s willing to give me. But she saw that damn hug at the Olympics and she- she’s upset with me. She thinks- she thinks I’m not over you.”
“Az maybe you should-” Jana says softly but Azzi immediately raises a hand to stop her. Maybe she’s a masochist but she can hear the hurt laced underneath the anger in Paige's voice. And if what Paige needs to get rid of her pain is a target to aim all her arrows at, then Azzi’s willing to sacrifice her heart, or at least what little is still left of it.
“And the worst thing about it,” Paige’s voice breaks, “is that she's probably right. I have the perfect fucking woman at home and I can’t seem to get over the one who broke my heart and never looked back. Isn’t that pathetic?”
“Paige,” Ice pleads again and Azzi can hear her former teammate trying her best to wrangle the phone out of Paige’s firm grasp.
“I’m not done yet Ice. I need to talk to her and I need to talk to her now because if I don’t, I’ll never get the courage to say any of this again,” Paige is sobbing now, and her broken whimpers pierce Azzi’s heart deeper than any words could, “why couldn’t you just have said yes Az? I know- I know your reasons but why- why couldn’t you have just loved me enough to look past them? How do you do it Azzi? How do you live without me because it’s been four years and I- I still don’t think I know how to live without you and I hate you, I hate you because you do.”
No, Azzi thinks, I really don’t. But she doesn’t say anything, rapidly blinking back tears as she avoids both Jana’s concerned look and Clémence’s more thoughtful gaze.
“I wish I could just feel nothing towards you Azzi,” Paige confesses, heaving as she struggles to breathe through her tears, “I don’t want to hate you. I don’t want to miss you and I really- I really, really don’t want to love you. Please just make it stop. I’m so tired of this Azzi. I’m so tired of hurting. How do I make it go away? Please tell me how I make it go away? How did you make it go away?”
“I didn’t,” Azzi whispers, so soft she’s not sure Paige heard it; she’s not sure if she wants Paige to have heard it. It’s the kind of pain, she thinks, she’s destined to feel forever. It’s weaved itself into every crevice of body and now it exists as just another innate part of her. Paige thinks Azzi’s learned to live without her but really all Azzi’s learned is how to live with these permanent scars of i think i’ll miss you forever.
“That’s enough Paige,” Ice’s voice is clearer now, having finally snatched the phone out of her teammate’s grip, “Azzi-” she begins apologetically, “she’s just drunk. She didn’t mean-”
“She did,” Azzi clears her throat, sinking into the way Jana's arms wrap around her, “she’s um- she’s gonna be really hungover in the morning. Make sure she- make sure you give her water but don’t- don’t give her coffee. She’ll want it but it’ll only make it worse because she uh- she- when she drinks too much, her stomach hurts and the caffeine- it just- it makes it worse so- don’t let her drink coffee tomorrow morning okay? And make sure- make sure she eats something before she takes painkillers. And Ice?’
“Yeah Azzi.”
“If she doesn’t remember any of this tomorrow morning, please don’t remind her.”
***
April 2033
The bar is buzzing with noise by the time Paige and Azzi finally arrive. It’s an exclusive enough place that they won’t be too bothered by fans asking for pictures and autographs but the size of the crowd still puts Azzi a little bit on edge. She can’t help the small smile that flitters across her face when she feels Paige’s hand resting on her lower back as the blonde guides the two of them through the crowd in search of their teammates. For the last eight years, Azzi has been her own protector and she’s learned to guard herself but it’s nice -it feels right- to have someone else ready to be her shield too.
“You know Bueckers,” Joyce says as the two of them finally approach the table that had been reserved for the Valkyries, “some might say that one should be on time when meeting their new teammates. Just a thought.”
“And some might say Edwards that being fashionably late is being on time,” Paige quips back.
Joyce grins, “alright time for introductions.”
“I’m pretty sure I know-”
“Shut up,” Joyce reprimands, throwing an arm around Paige’s shoulders, “let me introduce these brand new people to you.”
“They’re not-”
“Sssshhh. Let me have my fun. We’ll start over here with Westbeld and Booker. You might know them, their teams kicked your ass during the 23-24 season,” Joyce says with a smirk.
“Oh I do remember that,” Paige says thoughtfully, eyes twinkling with mirth, “what happened the season after?”
“Don’t be cocky Bueckers. It’s unbecoming,” Madison chides as she rises from the table to give Paige a hug.
“Yeah I try not to remember that Elite Eight game thanks,” Laila says, making a disgusted face.
Joyce glares at her, “did I introduce you yet Miss Phelia?”
Laila raises her hands in surrender as Joyce continues to give Paige a tour of the Valkyrie team. Azzi had known that Paige would fit in well with her teammate -really the blonde had the uncanny ability to fit in anywhere- but seeing it realized in front of her, it seems even clearer. Paige feels like the last mosaic piece, slotting in right where she belongs.
“Those two over there are our babies,” Joyce points to Haylen and Jayla, “they’re like five years old but we love them anyways.”
“I’m almost 25,” Haylen protests.
“See,” Joyce remarks, “literally children. And that one,” she points to Jana who beams at Paige, “well you already know her even if you sometimes wish you didn’t probably-”
“Hey!”
“Oh shush Jana,” Joyce says airily, “and I supposed there’s no point in introducing Azzi to you since y’all came together,” she pauses to look between them, “y’all don’t live that close to each other. Why didn’t you just carpool with Jana? I’m pretty sure she lives closer to you.”
Paige opens and closes her mouth a couple of times as Azzi feels her own cheeks heat up at the innocent enough question, “we um- well it's just- you see- my house is on the way from her parents and she had to drop off Stephie so it just- it just made sense you know? For efficiency’s sake.”
“Oh yeah for efficiency’s sake. They’re both very efficient,” Jana smirks, “makes a lot of sense.”
Joyce gives all three of them a weird look, “y’all Huskies are strange. It was just a question but anyways,” she grins as she finally steers Paige towards the blonde in the corner and Azzi stiffens at the way Paige’s body immediately tenses, “a couple of our teammates aren’t here but we do have a former teammate. Paige meet Clémence.”
“We’ve met,” Paige says, attempting to school her features to resemble anything but the discomfort she’s feeling within, “during the Olympics that is. We’ve beat France a couple of times.”
It’s a purposeful word choice, beat instead of played and Azzi's fingers fidget with the hem of her top as she tries to avoid looking at either of the two women.
“Yes. It is good to see you again,” Clémence says tersely, her French accent stronger than the last time Azzi had spoken to her. She shakes Paige’s hand rather formally before her eyes focus on Azzi and she determinedly walks towards the brunette, “and it is really good to see you Azzi. I have missed you.”
“I-” Azzi stutters at the French woman pulls her into a hug; over her shoulder she can practically see steam coming out of Paige’s ears as she hyper focuses on how Clémence makes it a point rub her thumb down Azzi’s back, “it’s um- it’s good to see you too.”
She pulls away and she can feel the disappointment reverberating from Clémence’s body as Azzi practically flings herself on the chair next to Jana, wondering what she’d done to deserve this moment as a punishment for her sins.
“Save me,” she pleads as Clémence and Paige sit as far away from each other as possible, occasionally shooting glares when they think the other isn’t looking.
“Save you from having two hot women fighting over you?” the center teases, “you truly have such first world problems Azzi Fudd.”
“They’re not fighting over me-”
“Azzi you will have your usual rum and coke no?” Clémence asks and Azzi looks over to where the francophone is intently staring at her, “I will go-”
“Oh there’s no need,” Paige says immediately, “you sit Clémence. You already have a drink. I was gonna go get one for myself and I’ll get Azzi’s too. Besides, Azzi's more of a fruity drink girl. Az I’ll get you a piña colada-”
Clémence narrows her eyes, “maybe she liked that when she was in college but Azzi likes something different now.”
“She might like something different now,” Paige counters, standing up aggressively so she towers over the table, “but she’s always gonna love a piña colada right Azzi?”
All eyes turn to look at Azzi who wants nothing more than to cower under the table- or hit Jana who seems to find this very unamusinging situation rather entertaining, “I um-” she swallows, “I think tonight calls for something stronger. Round of shots for the table? On me?”
It placates the situation for a while as the rest of the team cheers on the idea, beckoning over one of the bartenders to orders a round of tequila shots for the table. For a moment, Azzi tricks herself into thinking maybe that’ll be the end of ridiculous situations for the night as the team downs shots to Jana yelling “to the Valkyries” but she should have known it was wishful thinking.
Half the team ends up on the dance floor, swaying to the mixed rhythm of the music and the newly minted alcohol coursing through their bloodstreams. Azzi watches with a smile as despite her protests, Joyce manages to drag Paige onto the dance floor with her, engaging her in some eccentric dance moves as they try to outdo each other on who can look the silliest. And as the rest of the girls cheer the blonde on, it feels like Paige is chiseling out a place for herself in another part of Azzi’s world.
“She is easy to love,” Clémence’s hot breath fans Azzi’s ear as the francophone takes Jana’s empty seat next to the brunette.
“Clém-” Azzi sighs.
“She fits in well with the team,” Clémence continues, something wistful in her voice, “I have seen her play. She will fit in well on the court with you guys as well. She will fit in well next to you.”
“That’s the hope,” Azzi says softly as she tilts her head to look at the other woman, “you fit in well too. I mean it Clém. We’ll miss you at GSV.”
Clémence smiles bitterly, “I would have liked to stay but they needed the cap space so they could sign her. She- she’s quite expensive. I mean considering she is casually wearing swarovski crystals on her neck in a bar on a random Saturday night, I am not surprised.”
The two of them laugh despite the gravity that looms heavily over them. Azzi and Clémence haven’t been anything in a long time but she’d never quite shut the possibility of a potential future done. She can hear the lock ready to click now. It’s bittersweet doing the right thing but as Paige glances over from the dancefloor, eyes darting cautiously between the two of them, Azzi knows that she doesn’t want to keep any other doors open. Not when the one with Paige’s name etched on the door handle, leads to home.
“One last dance?” Clémence asks softly, holding out her hand.
Azzi hesitates, knowing that it would irritate Paige but she thinks she probably owes Clémence this and so she smiles and takes the francophone’s outstretched hand as they join their other teammates. It’s nothing beyond friendly and they both keep their hands to themselves as they sway to the music, but Azzi can feel the annoyance radiating off of Paige from across the dancefloor. She would never admit it, perhaps it’s a little toxic of her, but there’s a certain thrill to making Paige jealous. There’s something about the way the blonde’s blue eyes flare with ice cold envy, the way her jaw hardens as she grinds her teeth. The way she looks at Azzi like if she had her way she’d drag the brunette out of the bar and mark her with a possessive you’re mine you’re mine youre mine. It makes Azzi clench her thighs together as she tries to focus on Clémence.
“I understand now,” the francophone says thoughtfully as Azzi’s peers up at her in confusion, “when you told me that you could not be with me. I get it.”
“I don’t-”
“You are here with me but you aren’t actually. You will always be with her,” Clémence tilts her head towards Paige, “you always have been. I understand now,” she says again simply before her face hardens, “even after all those words she said to you on the phone that night.”
Azzi’s stomach curls at the reminder. She knows exactly what night Clémence is referring to. Sometimes when she closes her eyes, it’s those words, coated in anger and malice, that shower around her like acid rain, seeping into her skin and infecting her bloodstream.
“I told you, you deserved better,” Clémence says and Azzi gulps, “but you said- you said you deserved worse. I hope you don’t believe that anymore Azzi. Just because you hurt her doesn’t mean you need to let her hurt you too.”
“I-” Azzi’s cut off by a hard body ramming into her own and she feels herself going stumbling back into the unwanted arms of a random man, “I’m sorry,” she says tersely, struggling to get out his grip.
“No worries pretty girl,” he says toothily, the heavy stench of alcohol in his breath making Azzi feel nauseous, “but now that you’re here, how about I buy you a drink.”
“No thank you,” Azzi says sternly, trying to push the man away but he’s relentless.
“Aw c’mon don’t be like that sweetheart,” the term of endearment sounds like an insult falling from his lips and Azzi loses her patience, stomping her heel into the man’s foot to finally free herself from his grip and he yelps in surprise.
“I said no thank you.”
“What the fuck,” the man spits out, standing up as Azzi takes a step back. He’s got some muscle and although, despite his bravado, she knows she’s strong enough to take him, she’d rather not create a scene. Her plan is to walk away. Paige seems to have other ideas, suddenly materializing in between Azzi and the man, a furious look on her face as she squares him up.
“Do we have a problem?” the blonde asks menacingly.
“Nothing other than your little friend here being a fucking bitch.”
Paige’s eyes darken as she takes a threatening step towards him, prevented from going further only by the way Azzi immediately laces a hand around her wrist, “what the fuck did you call her?”
“I called her a-”
“It doesn’t matter,” Azzi cuts in, stepping in between a glaring Paige and a man who’s clearly underestimating her strength, “let it go Paige.”
“Yeah,” the man mocks, “let it go Paige.”
“You fucking-” Paige tries to lunge at him but Azzi’s quick to shove her back gently.
“Don’t cause a scene,” she warns.
“Azzi-”
“Paige please.”
“Holy shit,” the man wolf-whistles, “y’all play for the Valks. You’re Azzi Fudd. I know you.”
“Good for you,” Azzi spits out at him before turning her attention back to Paige, who looks like she could kill the man if given the chance, “c’mon let's go back to our tab-”
“It’s funny you’re acting like such a fucking prude when you have a bastard chi-”
An unmistakable crunch rings out through the bar as the man goes flying backwards. Azzi’s knuckles are bleeding as her breath comes out in ragged huffs. She hadn’t wanted to cause a scene; could have walked away from a man being a drunken idiot, could have walked away from being called a bitch or hell, even something worse. But the man had attacked the one part of her that she’d always be ready to go to war for. He’d brought up Stephie and she’d seen red. Her fist had moved of it's own accord.
Paige doesn’t say anything and Azzi can feel the anger still vibrating from the older woman’s body as she roughly grabs Azzi’s unhurt hand.
“Let’s go,” the blonde’s voice is eerily low, “we’re going home.”
***
It’s a subconscious choice to let Paige drive Azzi’s car even though they’ve both sobered up considerably, not that one shot had done much in the first place. It’s a subconscious choice that Azzi reaches over to lace her fingers through Paige’s free hand, resting it on her lap, as the blonde use her other hand to grip the steering wheel. It’s a subconscious choice that they end up driving to Azzi’s house in complete silence. She’s not sure who’s mad at who, if they’re even mad at each other or that man or just the world but she can feel the fury suffocating the air.
“Where’s your first-aid kit?” Paige says gruffly as Azzi unlocks the door.
“Bathroom,” Azzi says quietly and Paige is off towards it before the word has even fully left the brunette’s mouth. Azzi scrambles after her, pausing in the doorway as Paige rummages through drawers, knowing better than to interrupt to help when Paige looks livid like this.
“Sit,” Paige points to the sink once she’s finally found the sanitizer and gauze to clean up dried up blood staining Azzi’s knuckles.
“I can do it my-”
Paige glares at her, “just sit on the fucking sink Azzi.”
Putting away her own irritation at being told what to do, Azzi lifts herself onto the flat surface of the sink, opening her legs slightly so that Paige can stand between them. Despite still quivering with barely concealed rage, Paige’s touch is gentle as she dabs at the remnants of red liquid on Azzi’s hand.
“You should’ve just let me punch him when I wanted to,” she says finally.
“So you could be the one bleeding?” Azzi raises an eyebrow.
“No because he would’ve never gotten the courage to say shit about Stephie if you’d just let me kill him when he called you a bitch,” Paige bites out venomously.
“And let you go to jail? I couldn’t do that to Stephie,” Azzi tries to lighten the tension in the room, “she’d miss you too much.
“This isn’t funny, Azzi,” Paige seethes as she begins to wrap the white gauze around the wound.
“I know,” the younger woman says, trailing her other hand down Paige’s arms trying to soothe her anger, “but it’s fine-”
“It’s not fucking fine,” Paige yells.
“Baby-” the word slips out from Azzi’s lips before she can catch it. She hasn’t used it for someone other than Stephie in so long that it feels foreign on her lips and yet, it fits exactly right.
“Did you call Clémence that too?” and there it is, the real reason behind the volcano erupting as Paige decidedly looks away from Azzi.
Azzi narrows her eyes, “I don’t know Paige. Did you call Olivia that?”
“That’s different,” Paige grits out, “Olivia was my wife.”
Azzi flinches at the word; hates that somebody else had ever had the honor of being called that even if she knows it’s unfair of her to feel that way when she’s the one that had turned it down first.
“Exactly,” she says slowly, “you married someone else-” she holds up a hand when Paige protests, “I know. I know I said no but you married someone else Paige. So you don’t get to be mad at me for having something with someone else too.”
Paige is quiet for a moment and Azzi sees the exact moment the fight leaves her body as she lets out a sigh, leaning her head against Azzi’s shoulder.
“You’re right,” Paige whispers into Azzi’s neck, hands moving to rest against the brunette’s thighs.
Azzi runs her hand through Paige’s hair, brushing it in tandem with the harmony of her breathing, “we can’t keep throwing the past in each other’s face, Paige.”
“I know,” Paige breath tickles against Azzi’s skin and she shivers in spite of the tense moment,“I just-” the blonde lifts her head to look at Azzi, “I need to know who Clémence was to you. You- you know what Olivia was to me and I- I just need to know the same about Clémence.”
“She-” Azzi hesitates, “we hooked up a couple of times,” she squeezes Paige’s hand when the blonde flinches, “but then she- she wanted more but I couldn’t- I couldn’t do that. Partly because I didn’t- I didn’t feel the same- don’t look so smug,” Azzi chides when a small grin forms on Paige’s face, “and partly because we were on the same team. I didn’t want to complicate things, not like last time. Feel like I should probably have a rule not to date teammates.”
“Right.”
Azzi watches the cogs turning in Paige’s brain and she reaches out a hand to ease the creases forming on her forehead, “what are you thinking Bueckers?”
“I just-” Paige bites her lip, “what about me?”
“What about you?”
“I mean we’re gonna be- I mean we are- we’re on the same team too,” Paige says and Azzi can hear the insecurity of will you leave me again weaved through her voice.
“You don’t get it yet do you,” Azzi whispers, reaching up to cup Paige’s face, “baby you are the exception to all of my rules.”
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6
Somebody said you got a new friend (But does she love you better than I can?)
(In which a writer in an EST timezone uses the PST timezone to announce that technically she's still meeting the deadline)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst, Fluff, Jealousy
Words: 6.5K
TW: Swearing, Toxic Relationships
A/N: Hello my lovelies! Listen it's past midnight here but it's only around 9 pm in California which is where most of this fic is set so TECHNICALLY I am still meeting my deadline. This chapter is kind of a filler (and I guess that's why I don't love it) because it was gonna be about ~3K longer with another scene but it was either a longer chapter or a Monday chapter and I feel like y'all would prefer a Monday chapter. I have not edited this yet because I simply just don't have the energy to so pretty please point out my errors as you read so I can use them when I edit some time tomorrow. There's probably other stuff I need to say but I'm feeling oddly delirious right now so I'll just end with the usual. Let me know what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see next. Have a lovely rest of your weekend my loves <3
March 2033
Paige wakes up to a stream of sunlight tapping at her eyelids and someone’s soft breath tickling against her nose. She can feel a tiny hand pressed against her chest -right above her heart- and the weight of another person’s fingers intertwined against her own. The room is silent with the exception of the clock ticking on the wall and the perfectly harmonized breathing of the other people in the room. Stephie and Azzi. And Paige is scared to open her eyes, scared to move even an inch, scared that if she does either of those things, her dreamlike reality will prove to be nothing but a hopeless mirage.
It had taken Paige a moment last night to really register what was happening around her. Dazedly, she had followed Azzi up the stairs into the guest room. She’d watched, albeit unhelpfully, as Azzi had searched out extra pillows, setting up the queen-sized bed so it could fit three people instead of it’s regular duo. It hadn’t sunk in even as Paige had slowly gotten herself ready for bed, finding herself in one of Azzi’s old oversized t-shirts suddenly overwhelmed with how much she’d missed falling asleep embraced in the scent of the younger woman’s favorite lavender and eucalyptus deodorant. Even as she’d made her way back from the bathroom and found Stephie beaming at her from where she was curled into Azzi’s side on bed, Paige still felt like she was simply just watching everything from a facetime call, like she had been while back in Dallas. It wasn’t until Stephie’s bedtime story was finished and the lights were turned off, when Azzi’s hand finally captured hers underneath the comforter and squeezed gently, that it finally clicked for Paige.
Azzi had asked her to stay over.
Azzi had promised she wouldn’t run away.
And as Paige finally lets eyes flutter open, blinking to adjust to the light, she breathes out a sigh of relief at the sight of a promise kept.
Propping herself onto her elbow, she lets herself take in the view of the two people still sound asleep next to her. Paige isn’t a morning person by any means -rarely is she the first person to wake up- but she thinks if this was what she could open her eyes to every time, getting up could become her favorite part of the day.
It’s uncanny how similar Azzi and Stephie are while sleeping. The little girl’s grip on Paige’s shirt is almost as strong as the tight hold her mother has on Paige’s hand. It’s like they’re trying to reel Paige into their world and keep her there forever, like even if she let go, they wouldn’t let her. There’s an air of contentedness on Azzi’s face as she snuggles closer to her daughter and Stephie has a soft smile at being cocooned in the protection of her mother’s arms. And Paige’s whole body aches a little bit because this bed they’re on is definitely not made for three people, but it’s nothing in comparison to the way her heart feels like it might burst from this feeling of and maybe this is how i become whole again.
She presses a kiss against Stephie’s forehead and rubs her thumb against the back of Azzi’s hand before carefully detaching herself from the duo and slipping out of bed. The whole house is still clearly asleep as Paige lethargically brushes and then begins to make her way down the stairs. Her eyes gloss over the pictures placed across the stairwell until they fixate on one that has her in it. It’s an image taken after one of many water fights they’d had at the Fudd household during a hot summer day. Life had been so simple back then when it was water and not bullets that they shot at each other.
Five drenched children are beaming at the camera. Jon and José are posed in some ridiculous stance, their water guns pointed at the camera. Paige, par for the course, is flexing, a far too cocky smirk dancing on her lips because she’d probably won the game (even if nobody else agreed). And then there’s Drew and Azzi. There’s a familiar pang in Paige’s chest as she brushes her fingers over her little brother’s exuberant smile. He’s latched onto the brunette’s back, a blue water balloon in his hand, as Azzi uses one hand on his hip to keep Drew in place and uses her other one to hold a pink water balloon of her own. The Fudds- Azzi- had been as big of a constant in Drew’s life as they had been in Paige’s and she wonders now, as she thinks back to her little brother’s irritation with her joining the Valkyries, if he’d ever forgive her and Azzi for taking that away from him.
“Oh hey good morning,” Tallulah says as Paige lets herself into the kitchen, blanching slightly at the sight of the other woman.
“Good morning,” Paige greets, pouring herself a glass of water as she takes a seat at the island, “guessing you’re making pancakes?”
Tallulah nods with a grin, “Stephie’s orders you know.”
“Ah of course,” Paige laughs, “can’t defy the queen.”
She watches as Tallulah prances around the hardwood floor, grabbing bowls and ingredients, like it’s her kitchen and Paige can’t help the twinge of envy that blooms in her bloodstream. It used to be her. She used to know the Fudd’s kitchen -the whole house- like the back of her hand because really, like Katie always said, it was her home too. But she doesn’t quite know this place, couldn’t tell you where to find the sugar or where the utensils were kept and that stings more than she’d expected. It spirals Paige into the thought that she wouldn’t know any of those things at Azzi’s own house either. And suddenly she’s strictly by the reminder that two people who’d once promised to build a world together, had spent the last couple of years, building two separate ones instead.
“Hey,” Tallulah breaks Paige out of her trance, “you good.”
Paige musters up a smile, “yeah- yeah of course. Just- just thinking a lotta things I guess.”
“They’ve all missed you, you know,” Tallulah says softly, “they try not to do it too much around Azzi but it’s always ‘oh Paige would’ve loved this’ or ‘did you catch that bucket Paige made last night’. And whenever the Wings were playing here, it was a no-brainer that they would go.”
“Yeah?” tears prickle against the blonde’s waterline.
“Yeah,” Tallulah confirms, “Tim lowkey lost his mind before you got here last night. Poor man was running all over the place making sure things were good. Katie thought it was pretty hilarious.”
Paige lets out a watery laugh, “that sounds like them-”
“Miss Buecks,” a tiny voice interrupts her before she can say anything and Paige whirls around to see a teary-eyed Stephie looking at her from the last step of the staircase, her bottom lip trembling and panic courses into Paige’s bloodstream
“Stephie,” she practically trips over herself as she rushes to fold the little girl into her arms, “sweetheart what’s wrong?”
Stephie nestles herself into the blonde’s neck, mumbling something incoherent as she holds Paige impossibly tight.
“Stephie,” Paige whispers frantically, concern dripping from her voice, “tell Miss Buecks what’s wrong please. I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me sweetheart.”
“Thought you left,” Stephie confesses finally, keeping her head burrowed against Paige’s shoulder, “you weren’t next to me when I woke up. Got scared.”
“Oh honey,” Paige whispers, as she gently coaxes the little girl’s head out from the crook of her neck so she can cup her face, “I’m right here. I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”
Stephie’s quiet for a second, hiccoughing to herself as she searches for something on Paige’s face before she holds out a pinky, “promise you’ll never leave?”
Paige hesitates, the words sitting heavy on the tip of her tongue. It’s not that she doesn’t want to but Paige has learned first-hand about the fragility of the future, about how true the cliché about time changing in the blink of an eye is. Because the truth is that it’s not just Azzi who’s scared. Paige is terrified. She’d drowned in this ocean once before and as she tries to swim again, she can’t quite find it in herself to shed her life-jacket by making an oath that she can’t guarantee to protect from the dangerous tides of circumstance.
And so she hopes it’s enough for Stephie as she caresses the little girl’s cheeks and says, “I promise I’ll try to stay.”
“Okay,” Stephie says softly and Paige lets out a sigh of relief, “I trust you Miss Buecks.”
Paige smiles, giving the little girl a kiss on the cheek before hoisting her up onto her lap, “did you wake your Mama up?”
“No. She’s still snoring,” Stephie giggles.
Paige laughs, tucking that little tidbit away to tease Azzi with later, “how about you and I go get your Mama her favorite coffee?”
“Oh that’s nice,” Tallulah chirps from where she’s still standing in the kitchen, “go get coffee of course. Why would anyone stay here and help me?”
“Go ask uncle José,” Stephie shoots the younger woman an unamused look, “isn’t that what husbands are for?”
Paige stifles a grin as Tallulah narrows her eyes, waving her whisk menacingly at Stephie, “he’s not my husband yet and you watch it missy or maybe I won’t let you be a flower girl at the wedding.”
“Your wedding would be boring without me,” Stephie scoffs, “besides Aunty Tully, we’ll get you a drink too. Uncle José always says you drink vod-ka, too much of it app-ently, but I don’t know what that is,” she turns to Paige who’s gone bright red in attempt to stop herself from keeling over with laughter, “can we get vod-ka for Aunty Tully?”
Paige tries her best to compose herself, “maybe we’ll just get her a latte and save the vodka for later huh Tulls?”
Tallulah glares at her, flipping her off when Stephie’s gaze shifts towards the door, “just go get the coffee Bueckers.”
***
Not that she didn’t know it before, but Paige quickly realizes just how similar Stephie is to her mother while they’re standing in front of the bakery portion of the coffeeshop and it’s been ten minutes and Stephie still hasn’t decided which sweet treat she’d like.
“Stephie sweetheart,” Paige says, only slightly impatient, “how about the double fudge brownie?”
“That sounds good,” Stephie says excitedly and then her eyes dart towards the cinnamon bun in the corner, “or maybe the ninnamon bun- no wait- Aunty Tully’s gonna put ninnamon in the pancakes so maybe something else. Ooooh maybe a cookie but which one?”
Paige groans to herself as Stephie busies herself looking at the assortment of freshly baked cookies. The old woman over the counter, wearing a name tag saying Ruthie, shares a commiserating smile with her.
“My daughter was like that too at that age. Couldn’t make a decision to save her life,” Ruthie says, a fond look in her eyes while talking about her child.
Paige smiles, “did she ever grow out of it?”
“Well considering we went out to dinner last night and she couldn’t pick between the pepperoni and the sausage, I don’t think they really grow out of it,” Ruthie winks and Paige can’t help but think about Azzi and the way she’d struggled to pick out what to wear to bed last night, staring helplessly between two shirts that practically looked the same.
“Oh I know that look,” Ruthie says, eyes twinkling at the hopeless smile on Paige’s face, as she tilts her head towards Stephie, “you’re thinking about her mother huh?”
“That obvious?” Paige blushes.
Ruthie shrugs, “what is love if it can’t be seen by everyone?”
Love. The word seeps into Paige’s veins, traveling up her bloodstreams until it claws its way into her heart, settling against her ribcage like a rock so that when she breathes, it’s all she can feel. It’s too soon, she knows, and it defeats the purpose of going slow except- it’s not soon at all. Because this isn’t a new feeling, it’s a far too familiar old one that she’d buried as deep within her as possible but is now yearning to get out. It had never gone away, simply lingered in the back of her mind just waiting for this moment. And if she’s honest with herself, Paige doesn’t know if she should fight against it or let herself ride the waves of the before that are desperate to crash against the shore of now.
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie whines, “come help me choose.”
Shooting Ruthie an apologetic look and ignoring the pit in her stomach at the elder woman’s words, Paige walks over and bends down to the little girl’s height, “how about a chocolate chip cookie?”
“Boooooring,” Stephie crinkles her nose.
“Peanut butter?”
“I’m ‘lergic to nuts Miss Buecks,” Stephie says matter-of-factly and Paige pencils that important fact into her mind’s ever growing list of all about Stephie.
“Salted caramel crunch?”
“That sounds good,” Stephie nods, “yeah I’ll get that,” she says as she turns to Ruthie, “could I get a salted car-mel crunch cookie please?” but Paige doesn’t miss the wistful look she sends towards the rest of the cookies.
“Stephie?”
“Yes?”
“Do you want me to get you one of each?”
And she’s absolutely going to get a disapproving glare from Azzi when she shows back up at the Fudd’s with almost a dozen cookies in hand but it’s worth it for the way Stephie immediately latches on her thigh, a dazzling smile lighting up her whole face.
“You’re best-est-est-est Miss Buecks,” Stephie squeals, staring up at Paige with delight.
“I know,” Paige smirks, “and you better protect me from your Mama when we get back.”
Stephie nods very seriously, “of course Miss Buecks. I’ll protect you with my life.”
Paige ruffles the younger girl's hair before turning to Ruthie who’s grinning at her, “one of every flavor of cookie you have please. Except anything that has nuts.”
“Coming right up,” Ruthie winks at Paige, “your daughter has you wrapped around her little finger huh?”
And maybe Paige should at least attempt to correct the misconception but as Stephie clings to her just a little bit tighter, she can’t find it in herself to say anything but, “yeah, yeah she does.”
***
“Next time you kidnap my daughter, can you at least send me a text?” Azzi says, a grin on her lips as she opens the door to let Paige and Stephie enter back into the Fudd household.
“Good morning Mama,” Stephie says happily, launching herself into her mother’s arms and placing a sloppy kiss against her cheek.
“Morning sunshine,” Azzi laughs, “you seem giddy this morning.”
“Miss Buecks bought me six-teen cookies and she let me eat two of them while we were dri-” Stephie pauses mid ramble, eyes widening as she dramatically slaps a hand over her mouth.
Paige groans as a glare overtakes Azzi’s previously smiling features, “Steph what happened to protecting me?”
“It was an aksy-dent Miss Buecks I’m sorry,” Stephie whimpers, hurriedly cupping her mother’s face, “please don’t me angry at Miss Buecks, Mama. It was my idea.”
Azzi rolls her eyes, “I bet it was. But if you already had two cookies, you must be full? I guess that means no pancakes for you-”
“Miss Buecks forced me to eat the cookies,” Stephie cuts her off and Paige gasps at the betrayal, “not full at all Mama because you can’t get full unless you like what you eat and I didn’t like those cookies at all. So I neeeeeeed pancakes.”
“Traitor,” Paige hisses at the little girl who shrugs sheepishly.
Stephie shoots her an apologetic smile as Azzi hides a grin against her daughter’s hair, “I’m sorry Miss Buecks but I really, really want pancakes. I’ll die if I don’t get pancakes.”
“Okay drama queen,” Azzi chides fondly as she puts Stephie back on the ground, “go get your pancakes,” and then she rounds onto Paige with a patented glare.
“I got you an iced vanilla latte with extra whipped cream,” Paige says before the younger woman can say anything, practically shoving the cold drink into her hand.
“Sixteen cookies? Paige seriously?” Azzi asks, eyebrows raised as she sips at her coffee.
“You didn’t see her Az,” Paige defends, “she looked so sad when she couldn’t decide.”
“Just because she looks sad doesn’t mean you buy her every single cookie to make her happy,” Azzi shakes her head exasperatedly.
“I’d buy her the whole shop if that’s what would make her happy,” Paige says, sincerity weaved throughout every word of the sentence.
“You would, wouldn’t you?” Azzi says softly, a hint of awe in her voice, “you’re kind of a sap Paige Bueckers.”
“Only for you and your daughter Azzi Fudd,” Paige whispers, leaning her head against the younger woman’s temple, “only for the two of you.”
They stand there like that, barely touching beyond their foreheads, yet basking in a certain kind of intimacy that they’ve only ever found with each other. The thing is, Paige’s senses are always heightened, every part of her always alert of what’s going around her. Except when she’s with Azzi. When she’s with Azzi she can let the noise fade to the background and let everything else become a blur and simply just be with Azzi. When she’s with Azzi, she doesn’t have to worry; doesn’t have to have her sword out ready for battle because she knows the younger girl will always be her shield. When she’s with Azzi, Paige is safe.
They’re shaken from their reverie by a cough in the background and Paige reluctantly looks over her shoulder to see Jana regarding them with an amused look.
“Guess I missed a couple of chapters?”
“Shut up,” Paige grinds out, annoyed as Azzi moves out of her space, “what are you doing here so early El-Alfy?”
“I’m here for breakfast because I’m basically an honorary Fudd,” Jana throws her head back before yelling, “RIGHT KATIE?’
“Right Jana,” comes the muffled confirmation from the kitchen as Jana smirks at Paige.
“The better question Bueckers,” the Egyptian prods with a smirk, “is what are you doing here so early?”
“I slept ov-” Paige bites her tongue but it’s too late as Jana’s grin gets wider and next to her, Azzi lets her head drop into her hands.
“You slept over? In which room?” Jana asks innocently.
And of course Stephie chooses exactly that moment to catch wind of the conversation, yelling from the kitchen, “she slept with me and Mama, Aunty J.”
“Thank you for telling me Stephie,” Jana’s eyes twinkle with mirth as she pulls out her phone, “oh I’m about to make some money- hey!”
Azzi snatches the phone out of her younger teammate’s hand, a sweet smile playing on her lips as she starts walking towards the kitchen, “no phones at breakfast thank you!”
“That’s not fair,” Jana whines sauntering after the GSV shooting guard, Paige snickering as she follows the two of them into the kitchen.
“Life’s not fair. Deal with it,” Azzi glares before slipping Jana’s phone into her own pocket, “you can have it back before you leave.”
“Y’all are so mean,” Jana sulks, pouting harder when she reaches out to grab a pancake and immediately has her hand whacked by Tim.
“That one’s for Paige,” the older man warns sternly and Paige sticks her tongue out at her teammate as she grabs the pancake onto her place.
“WHAT?” Jana guffaws, “what’s so special about it?”
Tim shrugs, “absolutely nothing. Just thought it would be funny to see you annoyed.”
“Y’all are the worst adoptive family a player could have you know that?” Jana scolds, pressing her fists to her cheeks like she’s barely older than Stephie, “and to think I was gonna invite the two of you,” she glares at Paige and Azzi, “to a party.”
“Party? Can I come?” Stephie asks excitedly.
“Unfortunately this one’s just for adults kiddo. And it’s not really a party,” Jana explains, “me and Joyce thought it would be nice to do a little team-bonding, especially for you P. Drinks at the bar next weekend?”
“Sounds good,” Paige confirms, “we’ll be there!”
“Oh it’s ‘we’ now is it?” Jana teases, “you guys gonna come together?”
“No,” Azzi says at the same time as a profound “yes” leaves Paige’s mouth. The two of them stare at each other with questioning looks and Paige feels a heavy pit settling in her stomach. Rationally, she knows Azzi’s probably right. No part of going slow includes going to a party with their teammates together, especially not when they’re trying to keep whatever it is they’re doing on the down low. But there’s something about being a secret again, that raises a bitter taste of what killed us then could kill us now in her mouth.
“Awkward,” Jon whistles slowly, only to be met with a simultaneous slap on the back of his head from both his mother and Tallulah.
“I mean- I would have to drop Stephie off here- or umm- at Colleen so like- logically- practically- uh- it um- it wouldn’t make sense for us to go together,” Azzi says and Paige has to refrain herself from calling it a bullshit explanation.
Instead she gives the younger girl a tight-lipped nod, “right yeah-wouldn’t make sense for us to go together. Obviously,” gritting her teeth and desperate to change the topic, she turns to Jana, “will the whole team be there?”
“A couple of them aren’t currently in the Bay but yeah most of them,” Jana shrugs.
“Oh,” Stephie claps excitedly, “will Aunty Chérie be there? Is she back yet?”
Paige narrows her eyes as both Jana and Azzi exchange looks, “who’s Aunty Chérie?”
“Aunty Chérie’s the best,” Stephie gushes, “she’s really nice and pretty and she calls me ‘mon chérie’,” the little girl does her best attempt at a vaguely french accent and realization starts to claw at Paige’s mind, “so I call her Aunty Chérie. She’s Mama’s best friend on the team.”
Paige tries and fails not to grimace at the sentence; the idea of anyone else being Azzi’s best friend feels like nails being screwed into her skin.
“I’m your Mama’s best friend on the team,” Jana butts in, trying to rescue Azzi from the hole her daughter’s about to dig her into, glancing worriedly between the two former huskies who are doing their best not to look at each other.
“If you say so Aunty J,” Stephie concedes, “but you didn’t answer my question. Is Aunty Chérie back?”
“Yeah she- um Clémence I mean- is coming back for a little bit next week so um-” Jana swallows, clearly not having thought the uncomfortableness of the situation through, “yeah she’ll uh- she’ll probably be there.”
Stephie lets out a whoop of excitement and Paige feels it burn a hole in her stomach. She knows she has no right to be upset at the idea of Stephie being as enamored by another one of Azzi’s teammates but something about it makes her feel queasy inside. Because Clémence Martens isn’t just a teammate. Paige doesn’t know the exact history there; she’d never had the right to ask about it but she’s seen the way Clémence looks at Azzi and she knows she doesn’t like it one bit.
“I thought Clémence was being traded to Atlanta?” Paige keeps her voice low as she leans into Jana. She’s not sure if Stephie knows the news yet and despite the jealousy that’s blooming in every crevice of her body, she doesn’t want to hurt the little girl by accidentally announcing it to her, “why’s she coming?”
Jana sighs, “Joyce invited her cause she was gonna be in town. You know they don’t know about-” the taller woman gestures between Paige and Azzi, “-all of this so. It’s just for one night Paige.”
“Right,” Paige nods, eyes locking with Azzi’s across the table as the younger woman fidgets with the ‘S’ necklace around her neck and shoots Paige a timid attempt at a reassuring smile, “just one night.”
***
August 2028
USA 68 France 64
The entire arena is abuzz for the final 20 seconds of a grueling semi-final match between the storied USA Women’s Basketball team trying to keep their dynasty alive and a vindictive French team eager to avenge their last heartbreaking Olympic loss. France has possession of the ball, shot clock turned off, and Paige has been tasked with guarding Clémence Martens. The woman in front of her, a bench player for the Golden State Valkyries, had never seemed like much of a threat to Paige when they’d met during the W season, but seemed to have become a whole other beast when representing her nation. Clémence is currently leading the French team in assists and is only behind Gabby William in points. Paige keeps herself glued to the woman as she tries to get herself free for the inbound.
The inbounder realizes after a couple of seconds that the French coach’s advice to get Clémence the ball wouldn’t be possible and instead the ball ends up in the hands of Iliana Rupert instead. As gameplay resumes, Paige does exactly as she’s supposed to and she can tell that she’s getting under the French woman’s skin as Clémence curses to herself in her native language. Paige bites back a smirk, secretly pleased at having riled her competitor up. The ball continues to pass around the French players, time ticking away, but the USA’s defense doesn’t allow a good shot until Gabby throws up a miraculous jumper with a second left on the shot clock.
And of course, in a way that’s perhaps too reminiscent of how France had lost in 2024, it goes in.
But it’s not enough and Paige feels blood rush to her ears as the entire arena, decked out in red white and blue, roars with triumph, celebrating the world's greatest team returning back to the finals stage. There’s still one more game but this win is special. They’d been down by 11 points at the half and Paige could almost picture the headlines ready to write themselves about the streaks that could be broken if they lost. But she was no stranger to the pressure that came from playing for a team with a deep history and it had been her and Stewie, partially motivated by their former college head coach frowning at them from the sidelines, that had spear-headed a 23-3 run at the beginning of the 3rd quarter. The USA women’s team hadn’t looked back since and now they were one more step away being golden again.
“You did it,” Olivia screams, running into Paige’s arms as friends and family start to gather on the court, “I’m so proud of you!”
“Thanks Olivia-” Paige is about to say more when the familiar back of someone’s head catches her attention and, like they always seem to when she’s around, all the words die on the tip of her tongue.
Azzi.
Paige could’ve sworn she’d seen the woman in the crowd at some point but she’d chalked it up to a trick of the light manipulating her eyes into seeing what her heart desperately wanted. But as she watches the woman she’d once imagined celebrating all of her victories with, slowly brush away the tears of someone else’s loss, Paige can’t help but wish that it had been a trick of the light after all. She feels suffocated and she can’t tell if it’s from how tight Olivia’s holding her or if it’s because Clémence is burying her head into the space between Azzi’s neck and shoulder, a space that Paige used to mark as hers. And then Azzi looks above Clémence’s shoulder. Dark brown eyes shimmer with unshed tears as they lock onto watery sky blue ones. They’re standing in other people’s arms and they really should look away but how can they when looking into each other’s eyes feels a little bit like finally coming up for air. And Paige realizes that what she’s really being suffocated by is the regret of you’re supposed to be holding me and i’m supposed to be holding you; it was meant to be us.
Azzi lets go of Clémence first, soothingly rubbing the francophone’s back as she makes her way over to congratulate the USA team, starting with Cam and Aliyah. Paige pulls away from Olivia, oblivious to the way annoyance flits across her wife’s features as she catches sight of Azzi. No one but the blonde notices how hesitant Azzi’s steps are, how she carefully pauses a little longer than necessary with everyone else until she finally reaches Paige, managing to give her a small but sincere smile. Olivia wraps a possessive hand around Paige’s bicep and the blonde fights the urge to shake it off when she notices Azzi’s eyes flickering to it for a brief second before coming back up to her face.
“Congratulations Paige,” the formality in Azzi’s voice feels like acid pelting against Paige’s skin, “you were really good tonight.”
“Thank you,” Paige smiles politely, “it was pretty stressful there for a second but I’m glad we got the dub. But it um-” she hesitates, unsure if she should say the next part, “it would’ve been nice if you were out there with me- with us I mean. We could’ve used your shooting.”
“Maybe next time,” Azzi gives her a half-grin.
“Oh I don’t know about that,” Olivia says airily, sharp nails digging a little too roughly into Paige’s skin as her grip tightens further, “there’s plenty of talent up and coming in the next 4 years.”
This is a side of Olivia that Paige is only just beginning to unveil, the side of Olivia that makes snide bitchy comments with a saccharine voice. And Paige really should let it go at this moment, make a mental note to speak with her wife about it later instead of jumping in. But she can see the insecurities brimming in Azzi’s eyes and the words tumble out before Paige can stop them.
“Yeah but no one better than Azzi.”
Olivia stiffens, “right unless she’s injured or pregnant or something. You’re prone to those right?”
“Olivia,” Paige hisses.
“I didn’t mean it offensively,” Olivia feigns innocence and a bitter mix of irritation and anger coils itself around Paige’s ribcage, “just something to think about.”
Azzi’s quiet for a second before a sugary smile, laced with poison, inches itself onto her face, “I’ve only been pregnant once and I haven’t been injured since college which I would expect someone in sports media to know but,” the brunette’s eyes flash dangerously, “I suppose that’s something someone with national media credentials would know, not just a mere local beat writer for Dallas’s fifth most read newspaper,” Azzi turns to Paige, sarcasm morphing into something far more genuine, “congratulations again. I’m really happy for you Paige.”
***
The Reynolds-Bueckers hotel room is a pathetic hot mess that night. Olivia’s livid at Paige and Paige is livid at the stupid #Clézzi tag on tiktok. She’s no stranger to fan edits and she’s definitely no stranger to ship edits and so when the first tiktok appears on her for you page, she knows better than to click on it. She knows better but she does it anyway. And suddenly she finds herself sucked into montage after montage of so-called moments between Clémence and Azzi that fans had noticed and documented. The clips are bad enough themselves but it’s the captions, bold declarations of look at the way she looks at her; no one can love azzi the way clémence loves her, that really piss her off. Clémence might look at Azzi like she’s made of stars but Paige knows that she looks at Azzi she is the moon, Paige’s moon. As Olivia’s anger bounces off the walls, her rant about disrespect starts to mesh with the audio of the edits that continue to play on the blonde’s phone and Paige wonders if this her God-designed personal hell.
“Are you even fucking listening to me Paige?” Olivia yells, forcing Paige to look up at her wife.
“What do you want me to say Olivia?” Paige asks tiredly.
“What do I want you to say? Well nothing now Paige. She said all of that shit to me and you were silent then so I’m not expecting you to say anything of meaning now either.”
“You’re defending her,” Olivia yells, “you’re my wife and you’re defending her. You’re defending your ex. Can you seriously not see what’s wrong with this picture.”
“Olivia,” Paige sighs, eyes gazing down at her phone where another fuckass Clézzi edit has started to play and she rapidly scrolls past it, “it’s been a long day and I just wanna go to bed. I have practice tomorrow and the gold medal game-”
“Right fucking basketball. Again,” Olivia rolls her eyes.
“What-”
“It’s fine,” Olivia pinches the bridge of her nose, the fight draining from her voice, “you’re right go to bed. I’m not- I’m not feeling great so I’ll sleep out here tonight. Wouldn’t- wouldn’t want you to get sick before the gold medal game.”
“Olivia,” Paige says half-heartedly, taking a timid step towards the woman in front of her.
“It’s fine,” Olivia says, “just- just go to bed Paige.”
Paige knows that the last thing she should do is actually listen to her wife. And she knows that if it was Azzi -she hates herself for even thinking this way- she wouldn’t walk away. If it was Azzi, Paige would’ve pulled her into her arms, held her there and made her talk because they both hated going to bed angry. But well if it was Azzi, this whole situation wouldn’t exist in the first place.
And so she ends up in bed alone, still scrolling through random tiktoks in an effort to not have to deal with all the voices in her head, until suddenly she stumbles on a video captioned and at the end of the day she’ll still always be looking at her. It’s a video taken today. Paige is holding Olivia and Azzi’s holding Clémence but they’re staring at each other. And Paige thinks that whoever wrote the caption, had probably gotten it right. At the end of day, she’ll always look for Azzi. She just doesn’t know if she’ll find her ever again.
***
USA 102 Australia 73
Paige can already taste the feeling of a gold medal around her neck as she takes a seat, the crowd roaring with applause as Coach Lawson empties her bench. There’s only fifteen seconds left in the game and her knees are bouncing in anticipation, ready to celebrate a moment she’s been dreaming of for god knows how long. Paige scans the crowd, not even pretending to look for anyone but Azzi and she can’t help the smile that erupts on her face when she spots the brunette with her fingers crossed, a brilliant grin directed in Paige’s direction as she mouth i’m so proud of you.
Olivia isn’t here, claiming she was too sick to come tonight. Paige thinks she probably should be more upset about that. She thinks the whole thing is probably a ruse that Olivia had concocted to get Paige to beg her to come, to get Paige to show her that she wanted her wife there. Her wife’s face had fallen when Paige hadn’t really reacted to the announcement, simply pressed her lips to her forehead and mumbled a feeble hope you feel better before leaving. Paige thinks this is probably the first sign their falling apart. She thinks she should probably care about that a little bit more too.
But the first thing her eyes had landed on once she’d entered the court, was Azzi’s face in the lower bowl. Her first petty thought had been a ha! fuck you to the damned Clézzi shippers who claimed Azzi wouldn’t show up today, to busy consoling Clémence. Her second thought, the one that felt like a warm blanket being wrapped around her soul, was that of course Azzi’s here. Because Azzi had been there every time Paige achieved a milestone and even if they were barely a shadow of what they used to be, it's only right that Azzi is still here.
Australia doesn’t even bother taking a shot, bowing out gracefully and the buzzer rings.
The entire arena bursts into confetti and music as the USA Women’s Basketball Team clinches yet another Olympic Gold Medal.
Paige doesn’t know who she’s hugging, lost in a sea of red uniforms as she feels herself floating through her teammates. They end up in a huddle, screaming and she can barely make out who’s saying what but it doesn’t matter. The chaos has never felt so fucking cathartic.
As everyone else disperses to find their families, Paige’s eyes land where they always seem to: on Azzi. And maybe she shouldn’t do it, maybe she should think again but fuck it Paige Bueckers is an olympic gold medalist and she’s going to share this moment with the first person she’d ever won a medal for this country with. Her legs move of their own accord, walking and then running and she breathes out a sigh of relief when she realizes that Azzi’s moving towards her too.
“You did it. Oh my god Paige you did it,” Azzi squeals as they crash into each other in the middle of the court, her arms instinctively going around Paige’s neck as the blonds wraps her hands around Azzi’s waist, “I’m so fucking proud of you. I knew you could do it Paige.”
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Paige breathes out, “I just- it wouldn’t be the same winning without you.”
Azzi’s eyes soften, “I came for you. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that but- I’m here for you.”
“Good don't want you to be here for anybody else,” Paige tightens her hold on the younger woman’s waist, “we’re gonna do it together next time okay. You and me, we’re gonna be golden together.”
And they both know that they’re saying words they shouldn’t say. That when they break apart from this moment, they’ll have to walk away. But for now, being in each other’s arms is the only thing that feels right, that feels golden.
It was stupid, how the image of Paige lying in Azzi’s bed still made Azzi’s heart flutter. The older girl was curled up against her favorite purple pillow, soft blonde hair splayed out and framing her sleeping face like a halo.
Her girlfriend was exhausted, as she always was when season rolled around. It took a toll on the entire team, the seemingly nonstop practices, games, and media, and the deep bags under Paige’s eyes made Azzi want to tuck the covers in a little tighter around her girlfriend, but the thought of being late to practice and having to run suicides forced Azzi to sit at the edge of the bed and gently shake Paige’s shoulder.
When her girlfriend still didn’t budge, Azzi hovered over the older girl, peppering light kisses all over her face. She smiled when Paige started stirring. “Good morning, baby,” she whispered, pressing one last kiss to the top of her nose.
Paige groaned, hands blindly grabbing for Azzi before she found her hips and pulled her down, burying her face into the younger girl’s neck. Azzi shivered at the ticklish feeling of Paige’s breath on her nape. “You gotta get up, baby, we’re gonna be late to practice,” she prodded gently, causing Paige’s eyes to finally flutter open. She blinked sleepily at Azzi, clearly still out of it.
Azzi laughed at how lethargic the older girl was. Combing one hand through Paige’s hair, she started to kiss at Paige’s neck, nibbling at the spot she knew made Paige weak. “Mmm.” Paige’s hand slid up to Azzi’s neck, her head lolling to the side to give Azzi easier access. “Don’t stop,” she mumbled.
Azzi rolled her eyes. “That was supposed to make you get up.” She swiped her thumb gently over the freckles on Paige’s collarbone before giving her a hard flick to the head. “I’m not running because of you.” That finally got Paige’s attention. She sat up on her elbows, a sleepy smile on her lips as she gazed at Azzi. “Hey.”
“We have practice,” Azzi repeated, brushing a piece of lint off of Paige’s shirt. With that, the smile on Paige’s face disappeared. Paige plopped back down, throwing her head onto Azzi’s lap with a groan. “I know something else we can practice,” Paige said, now raising her eyebrows suggestively.
“I swear you’re twelve sometimes,” Azzi said, unable to suppress her smile. “And get off me, you’re heavy.” When the older girl still didn’t budge, Azzi summoned all of her strength to shove the girl off her.
“You’re so mean to me,” Paige complained, immediately scooting next to Azzi again. She ran her fingers along the bottom of Azzi’s oversized sleep shirt.
“You’re so clingy today,” Azzi said. Paige just laughed, fingers dipping below Azzi’s shirt to roam up her sides. Azzi closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of Paige’s touch for only a brief moment until Paige tried to sneak her hands under her bra. Azzi pushed her away once again. “No funny business. We gotta leave in twenty.”
“But you’re just so pretty in the morning,” Paige pouted, stealing one last kiss from Azzi before finally rising from the bed.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“You think if we beg CD hard enough she’ll let us room together this year?” Paige said hopefully.
“She’s already pissed she has to deal with you for one more year. Push her even further and she’ll kick your ass.”
Paige’s head dropped. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“Cheer up.” Azzi motioned for her girlfriend to sit back down. “I’ll do your hair.” She normally refused to do Paige’s hair whenever she asked, mainly because Paige was always so jumpy and had a habit of forgetting to stay still when she turned around and begged for kisses, messing up any progress Azzi ever made. But Azzi wasn’t quite ready to leave the warmth of bed and go through another grueling practice.
Paige beamed, running off to grab her hairbrush before her girlfriend could change her mind. “Just a ponytail,” Azzi said. “We don’t have time for anything else.”
“You’re such a party pooper,” Paige groaned.
“Maybe if someone didn’t take so long to wake up,” Azzi responded with a smirk, gathering Paige’s hair into her hands.
“Don’t let me sleep in your bed next time then,” Paige said crossly.
“Okay, don’t sleep in my bed ever again,” Azzi said indifferently.
Panic flew across Paige’s eyes. “No, wait, I take that back,” she stuttered, turning around to give her girlfriend a kiss.
“Paige!” Azzi groaned. “Now I have to start over.”
hi boo pls write a fic from the game earlier imy ur writing alr
the time of my life [pazzi]
paige bueckers x azzi fudd
a/n: very quickly written blurb inspired by the recent mystics vs lynx game
word count: 550 | masterlist
Paige thinks she needs to go to a doctor. It’s not healthy, the way her eyes keep drifting to the smoothness of Azzi’s legs, the flex of her muscles, the sheer expanse of tan brown skin she wants to get her hands all over. She feels bad, having asked Ines so many questions about her summer that it’s starting to feel like an interrogation, but it’s all she can do in order to keep her eyes from checking out the younger girl that’s so close yet so far from her.
“Can I get a picture?” A young girl approaches them, a phone in her hand and a hopeful look in her eyes. Azzi smirks knowingly as Paige blinks out of her stupor and stares dazedly at the fan.
“Yeah, of course,” Paige says, reaching for the phone, but the girl’s eyes flit to Azzi.
“Sorry, I meant with Azzi,” she clarifies, and Azzi’s smirk turns smug. “You can be in it though!” she remedies, giving Paige a half smile. Ignoring Lauren’s snicker from beside her, Paige motions for Azzi to switch seats with her cousin so that they can all fit in the picture. Once Azzi settles in next to her, the familiar smell of her perfume flowery and tantalizing, Paige shivers. When Azzi leans forward to shake the fan’s hand, she purposefully brushes her shoulder against the blonde.
“Having fun?” Azzi whispers into her ear once she leans back, flashing a grin for the selfie. She throws an arm around Paige’s chair, seemingly casual to everyone but Paige, who feels Azzi’s fingertips drag slowly along her shoulder.
“The time of my life,” Paige grits through her smile. She rests her elbow on Azzi’s knee, making sure to dig it in in order to send the message across. Knock it off.
But when the fan leaves and Paige turns to Azzi with a glare on her face, the dark haired girl only smiles innocently. Once again, Paige’s eyes find its way to her girlfriend’s smooth upper thighs. She imagines trailing her fingers along her skin, to flirt with the edge of her shorts then bunch up the fabric and go further. She imagines the sounds Azzi would make, the whimpers and the pants she’d breath against her neck.
“The eye fucking is insane,” Ines whispers into her ear. Paige groans, rubbing her forehead. She needs to get her mind out of the gutter. “My parents are so salacious,” Ines complains.
Azzi cocks an eyebrow. “I didn’t do nothing,” she claims, raising her hands in innocence.
“Fucking wearing that shit in public is nothing now, huh,” Paige accuses, gesturing to her girlfriend’s outfit.
“You’re the one who wanted to match,” Azzi fires back.
“And this will be the last time.” Paige shakes her head and sinks low in her seat. “Everyone’s got their pervert eyes on you. So fucking wild, like they think they got a chance.” She reaches over and grabs Azzi’s zipper, attempting to close up the jacket, but Azzi pushes her away. “So you’re showing off to everyone now?” Paige scowls, folding her arms across her chest.
“You’re cute when you’re jealous,” Azzi snickers.
“I can’t watch this.” Ines clasps her hands over her eyes. “You guys are baby making in front of me. I’m gonna be an older sister.” Later, when Paige drags Azzi into the bathroom and they come out ten minutes later with both their jackets zipped all the way up, Ines is even more horrified.
a/n: I warned y'all earlier. please don't hate me.
Song · 2022 · Duration 3:47
When I walk in the kitchen, my heart hits the floor
'Cause it's you that I'm missin'
It’s quiet. Too quiet. Not the peaceful kind that many welcome after a long day but the uncomfortable kind that leaves you antsy and unsettled. It’s the kind that reminds you that something is wrong. That something’s missing.
The silence fills Paige’s apartment as she walks through the wall. Her footsteps are heavy as if she’s dragging the weight of the world behind her. In a sense, she is because she’s carrying the weight of her past and future behind her. Her future that no longer includes Azzi and her past that she refuses to leave behind.
As she walks through her apartment towards the kitchen, she feels her body drag more and more. And though it's disgustingly silent in the space they once used to share, the blonde swears she hears when her heart collides with the floor and shatters.
It’s not healthy really, because Azzi isn’t there but she’s everywhere. It’s like living in a shrine dedicated to the person she loves most in the world. Photos of them throughout the years litter the walls and fireplace. A fluffy pink blanket hangs off the back of the couch, next to the book that she hasn’t touched in a week.
The refrigerator door still holds the love notes shared between the two that held written promises of forever and always.
It all serves as a harsh reality.
They’re over.
I still see a vision of us cookin' dinner
And you holding me from behind (From behind)
And you say, "Please be careful, the knife is so big
And we can't have another ER trip
We're too young, too dumb
Too in love to afford it"
Paige decides that she needs to make dinner. She physically hurts from the inside out but she should at least eat. There’s no reason that she should be heartbroken and hungry. Except, she’s in the middle of cutting up strawberries to have later and she doesn’t remember why she’s suddenly doing this, but then she does. The sticky red fruit is offending the blonde as she realizes that Azzi always cuts up strawberries so she can eat them after dinner.
That's right. Azzi cuts them up. The memory still haunts the kitchen and embedded itself deep in the walls of the small space.
“Babe, slow down,” Azzi laughs. Paige is attempting to cut strawberries for dessert but she’s struggling due to her using the biggest knife in the apartment.
“I’m fine,” Paige stresses. She feels warm inside and giddy.
“That knife is huge, Paige. Don’t cut yourself,” Azzi says. It’s hard to understand her though because of how hard she’s laughing.
The sight before her is so ridiculously domestic, she yearns to have this be hers until the end of time.
Paige is wearing her old oversized sweatshirt that is way too big on either one of them but it’s too comfortable for either girl to care. Her hair is disheveled and frizzy which is a complete turnaround from the sleek curly updo she sported last night. Azzi smirks because she might have had a hand in the ruining of said hair. The Loreal mascara that Paige swears by is smeared under her eyes. Azzi might have had a part in that too. Finally, the blonde holds this huge knife to cut small berries into slivers so that can enjoy them with whipped cream after breakfast.
The sight is utterly adorable but Azzi is cautious because the pair doesn’t need another trip to the ER especially so early in their careers. So she opts to take the knife from Paige and begins cutting the strawberries with a smaller knife.
And if her heart skips a beat when Paige bumps shoulders with her, well then that’s her secret to keep.
And now it's just me
And a hundred square feet of bittersweet memories
Deleted the playlist, but I still hear all your favorite melodies
Dinner is a wasted effort because in the end, Paige isn’t hungry but she is thirsty so she settles on the couch with a bottle of white wine and attempts to forget about the events that have transpired only four days before.
The energy it would take isn’t worth it though because everything in the space reminds her of what it used to be, what it could’ve been, and what it is.
The picture on the mantel is the most recent and maybe the most heart-shattering. It’s a candid photo of the pair during their surprise engagement party. Paige and Azzi are leaning into each other while both faces sport big and bright smiles. In the background, you can see admiring views from several family members. The star of the show being the diamond that sat bright on Paige’s left ring finger.
As the blue-eyed girl eyes the photo from the couch, she can’t help but wonder how they got it so wrong so fast.
When the blonde-haired girl turns her head, her eyes catch a flash of color in the corner of the room. It’s a speaker that has a permanent home in the corner of the room for easy access when hosting guests. Except the speaker is used for when it’s just them and they dance with each other in the living room. It plays soft melodies when both basketball players spend the afternoons reading on the couch or doing their respective work.
Paige can still hear Azzi’s playlist streaming softly through the apartment.
It shatters her heart from the inside out.
Strangers to lovers to enemies
It’s nothing that anyone could have seen coming. The end sweeping through their loves like a tornado and leaving nothing but destruction in its wake; uprooting a foundation that many would have sworn was solid.
The unbreakable bond started at 15 across a gym in Colorado and followed them home on a plane. The seed of friendship had implanted itself and weaved its way into the girls and tied them together for a different type of forever.
That's why neither families were surprised when suddenly the best friends were girlfriends. It was only a matter of time, really, but to witness the ever growing love and fondness between the two was nothing short of magical.
Which is why when the news eventually makes its way into respective Bueckers and Fudd households, everyone will hold with bated breath as to what this could possibly mean. For as long as they care to remember, there has always been PaigeandAzzi.
No one was prepared for Paige and Azzi.
So I'll dance with your ghost in thе living room
And I'll play the piano alone
The gym is quiet and it’s driving Paige insane because everything is so damn quiet. There’s no noise except any she makes herself. It means she drowns in her thoughts without anyone to pull her out. The weight of her mind pulling her deep like the current does to swimmers.
There isn’t anyone to make noise for her anymore.
In hindsight, going to the court to get her mind off of her ex maybe isn’t the best idea. Not when they used to practice at the same court together.
As Paige dribbles from one side of the court to the other she realizes that maybe this isn’t the most productive use of her time. She isn’t shooting up to her usual standard and her body drags through the motions as if she’s tied to bricks. So, the blonde opts to collapse on the bench which ends in her sobbing.
Because really, how is she supposed to play the sport she loves when the ghost of Azzi continues to haunt her?
But I'm too scared to dеlete all our videos
'Cause it's real once everyone knows
Some would argue that this is the easiest part. Most get it over with when they’re still angry. Some don’t ever do this but as Paige scrolls through her instagram, she can’t help but see how many of her memories are tainted with the presence of Azzi.
They spent the better part of 15 years not even knowing the other existed but it seems as if that life doesn’t exist. Every photo or video contains the brown-eyed girl conveniently standing next to Paige.
So, Paige closes instagram and decides that maybe she won’t delete her instagram photos that contain Azzi. Simply just because there’s too many and who has time for that?
If in the end, it’s really because she doesn’t want everyone to know because she isn’t ready to accept it, then that’s her business.
Could've at least shown me some decency
Done me a favor and packed up your clothes
It was only a hoodie.
Only it wasn’t; it was Azzi’s hoodie.
How dare she?If she was going to leave, she could’ve at least packed her clothes.
The thoughts cross Paige’s mind fleetingly. She wonders how the curly-haired girl would handle staying in an apartment that was the start of building their forever. The entire space not leaning too much into the other's style and instead being the perfect balance of both.
Their closet being the most intertwined part of them. Clothes being shared between the two so much that they aren’t sure who owned what first.
Except this hoodie, which is definitely Azzi’s as it has “35” splayed across the back in red lettering. It’s also Paige’s favorite hoodie because it’s worn and stretched out. It also smells like the younger girl so whenever she’s away from home, Paige can still sleep at night.
Tonight though, she isn’t coming home. In fact, this isn’t her home anymore.
So she could’ve taken her clothes.
She didn’t need to remind Paige how empty her life would soon be.
Fallin' in love, no, it ain't for the weak
So don't try this at home
Paige and Azzi owe their younger selves an apology. Those girls didn’t deserve the utter devastation they’ll experience years down the road.
They didn’t know love was hard.
They didn't know it required a certain strength.
The couch that we sat on back in New York
Has made its way, three thousand miles to LA
These pillows been talkin'
Askin' me where the hell you've been
The couch is littered with blankets. Two queen size blankets; one purple and one pink.
It makes a crack in Azzi’s heart that she swears could be heard four doors down. She remembers when she and Paige used to lay under those same blankets to cuddle, watch movies, and read together.
They’ve whispered promises of forever and always in the dark under these blankets.
Azzi knows when she snuggles up under her pink one, that the purple will look abandoned as a reminder that Paige isn’t here with her.
Paige doesn’t take up room in the new space that’s just hers.
That Paige is no longer hers.
Told me you loved me, two weeks in
And I knew I would fall for you over and over
The pair are crammed into a booth in the back of an ice cream shop on campus. It’s almost 10pm and the store is empty sans two lovestruck college sophomores giggling about nothing.
“It wasn’t that funny!’ Azzi exclaims. Her words don’t mean much though because her smile is wide and infectious.
“It’s definitely that funny” Paige defends. Her smile is just as wide as Azzi’s, eyes just as bright. The curly-haired girl doesn’t think she could get more perfect in this moment.
Paige giggles and Azzi swears she would do anything to hear that sound and see that smile forever. Little does she know that her favorite blonde is having similar thoughts.
So when the laughter dies down a little and the two bask in being on their second date, Azzi blurts out a little confession.
“I love you”
But then Paige lets out a little confession of her own.
“I love you too”
There in the back of an ice cream shop did the two fall over and over and over.
But who would've known that
The fallin' would come to an end
“Where were you?” Paige demands. It’s 3am and the curly-haired girl stumbles through the door. The blonde doesn’t care that she got home late but they had plans that she thought were important.
“I was with Colleen and I lost track of time” Azzi lets out lamely. She doesn’t even give Paige the courtesy of looking at her when speaking and it angers her.
“We were supposed to talk,” Paige states.
It’s been a stressful month for the engaged couple. Their careers seem to be taking them in different directions, their wedding planning is anything but smooth and they can’t seem to agree on when they want to settle down and start a family. Throw into the mix that they’re always a little tired, hungry, and snappy.
It’s been a long month.
“We can talk tomorrow.”
“We were supposed to talk tonight,” Paige sneers. The real reason for her anger is gnawing at the back of her mind, itching to make itself known.
“Well I don’t want to talk tonight” Azzi rolls her eyes. Paige is being ridiculous.
“Funny, because you’ve been doing that with everyone but me.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Azzi exclaims. She doesn’t have time for the back and forth. Not when she’s tired and the bed is right there.
“It means you told Kate Martin that you want to take the Aces’ offer”
Azzi swallows nervously because she had told Kate that but not Paige. “I told you-”
“You told me you were just considering your options but nothing was decided, You told me that there was so much here in LA that you weren’t sure about leaving. You told me you couldn’t wait to build our life together here.” Paige yells.
“How did you even know about this?” Azzi asks defiantly.
“I heard it from Carol when she told me to tell you congratulations.” Paige grits out.
“Babe, this my dream,” Azzi starts to explain.
“I know,” The older girl answers before continuing. “I’m not upset that you’re taking the offer. You deserve it.”
“Then why are we fighting?”
“Because you told Kate the truth and lied to me.”
Ain't it funny how time shows you, you know nothing
'Cause I used to love you,
“Paige Madison Bueckers, will you marry me?”
“Yes, yes, yes”
but now you're dead to me
Paige can feel the tears in her eyes. Her heart is beating out of her chest as she turns immediately to walk down the hallway and make her escape. She doesn’t actually break down in tears until she’s in her car.
Inside of the building, in the penthouse suite, Azzi rushes to the door after hearing a knock. The curly-haired girl is expecting her doordash but is unpleasantly surprised.
Outside of her door lies a box which contains a diamond ring.
The same ring that shined bright on Paige’s finger in the photo on the mantel.
theartofmadeline
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