:)

[diaryofadaydream]

Who am I?

Just today I randomly had a thought after watching a reel that I'm not unique, I'm not different. That was a weird feeling, not being special.

By the end of the day I feel humbled because being different isn't easy.

You feel like you're doing something wrong. Like nobody's on your side. Like absolutely NO ONE understands you. It's like what you feel doesn't matter but their feelings do.

You try to be considerate while struggling and still you're the one who's done or become smtg terrible.

It's normal. You're normal. But why do others make you feel like you're not? Like what you want is a sin.

But sin is selective, it's subjective.

So who am I?

Am I a burden?

[diaryofadaydream]

Long distance is so weird, you start crying after watching a reel which is no where close to the topic. You just randomly start missing them at 4am when you can't sleep wishing they could be the person you stay up at night with bec it's peaceful. Seeing a reel of this person staying away from home and not being able to stop thinking about him bec not only is he away from his family but also me and he'll still be so far when he's with his family. Thinking of him crying makes you cry, him being alone makes youu wish you could do anything so he doesn't feel that, not knowing what love is sometimes but still knowing that you love him. ~bec overthinking didn't help

-🍓 (4:16am)

[nixscriptum]

[nixscriptum]

( ☁︎︎ )

[diaryofadaydream]

for everyone who's watched Saiyaara,

"saiyaara matlab taaron ka ek tanha taara,

khud jalke jo roshan karde jag ye saara."

A single star burning itself so that the world could stay bright- isn't that what most of us do? I love the idea that a lot of people if not everyone feels like a saiyaara, thinking and relating to "khud jalke jo roshan karde jag ye saara" and that corresponds with humans being made of stardust. So maybe, it's not just poetry. Maybe it's written into who we are. And maybe that's just how we are made: a little lonely, a little lost but shining.

Still Saiyaara.

[diaryofadaydream]

how do you actually use your free will in a world where everyone constantly follows a pattern and is nudged into default choices?

[diaryofadaydream]

"Have you ever wandered on purpose? Today, I aimlessly wandered on purpose. Have you ever let yourself get soaked even though you had an umbrella? That's what I did today. It was a sweltering day, and the rain totally cooled me down. After walking for 30 minutes like that, the rain stopped, and an unbelievably beautiful scene unfolded before my eyes. I saw a huge rainbow. It looked as though it'd grant me any wish. Then it suddenly hit me. It's actually nice to wander aimlessly every once in a while. From time to time, it'd be wonderful to sail off without a map." —Young Seo Dal Mi (Start Up)