I love Sophie but also sheâs the dumbest teenage girl Iâve ever heard of. Keefe was three seconds from professing his love for her at all times, Dex blushed every time she even looked in his direction, and Fitz was obviously flirting with her for MONTHS before she realized he liked her. Sheâll over analyze everything the black swan and neverseen do but canât for the life of her realize someone likes her. I know she has a lot going on but girl needs to figure this stuff out.
i know you didnât actually mean it, so this is in all good fandom fun and i am not dogging on OP, but sophie is a really good representation of what happens when your self esteem is constantly knocked from bullying and stressful and traumatic situations alike all from a young age.
sophie recognizes and acknowledges various times throughout the years exactly what the boysâ gestures and comments allude to, but she makes the conscious effort to reroute or ignore them. in certain cases, like with dex, itâs because she doesnât reciprocate his feelings, but with fitz and keefe itâs because sophie doesnât believe sheâs good enough for them to actually like her.
if you were or are anything like sophie, you know how it feels to see the signs, but convince yourself youâre overthinking it, that youâre hallucinating simply because of how badly you want it.
this self doubt can creep in regardless of age, but i think sophieâs youth is a massive contributing factor: sheâs young, sheâs underestimated, sheâs uprooted from her home and her worldview is completely blown apart and needs to be rebuilt from the ground up, her new government seems to have it out for her, there is a terrorist organization threatening her life, and if you remember up until Everblaze, sophie had no real clue if the black swan were also a threat to her existence. her entire life she has been shown she does not matter. even if she was shown familial love, her environment 100% makes it incredibly difficult for her to believe she could be accepted, both by friends and romantic prospects.
another important point that we canât forget is sophie grew up in the forbidden cities, meaning she was affected by our society, specifically american culture. she grew up with the adverts, the commercials, the sexual harassment and locker room jokes, the constant pressure to be beautiful, to maintain that beauty no matter what, and that even if you meet the standard, you donât. sophie being beautiful does not erase her insecurity. sophie meeting certain standards does not mean the damage to her interpretation of her appearance and the sexism she endured alongside every other woman didnât affect her. it very much did. itâs evident in how she thinks she canât accept compliments or else sheâs vain and shallow, how she must apologize to fitz for being ahead of him in telepathic skill, how she is responsible for her friendsâ lives and safety, how she must remain submissive to her leaders or else she might be the sole downfall of the group, how even if she thinks a boy likes her, itâs her own inflated ego because who could want a girl like that?
sophie has obviously grown and become more confident in her skin as the series continuesâthis is especially relevant when sophie blows up the warehouse and is instantly ridiculed and criticized for enticing and sparking a war, despite being hunted and preyed on mercilessly her whole life. because when a woman finally fights back after years of abuse, sheâs seen as over reactive. sheâs emotional, sheâs irrational, sheâs the bitch who canât keep her temper.
also, while they are teenagers and they had their own right to react in the ways they did to their situations, sophie subconsciously absorbs fitz and keefeâs temperaments and behaviors as confirmation that the little voice in the back of her head is rightâat the end of the day, sheâs unloveable. keefe constantly pushes himself away, refuses to accept her help, and betrays sophieâs trust and his own promises by running. fitz bottles up his feelings until they are expelled onto the nearest target and it has been shown various times to be sophie, even if sheâs undeserving. both of the people she pours herself into seem to throw it right back in her face.
sophie has been taught to stay small and remember she does not matter. itâs no surprise to me that she canât bring herself to so much as hope that anyone truly likes her.
to be clear, I believe younger artists and minors can write good fics (not to say âfanfic must always be goodâ either because it is a hobby and I still believe that as long as itâs done with love and the artistâs joy, it is good) and I believe itâs good when younger artists and minors start making art at young ages.
that said, a lot of fanfics out there that you read and love are done by adults with kids, jobs and responsibilities. adults who have years, decades of practice under their belts. adults who donât let life and responsibilities take away their joy in creating.
someoneâs love and passion donât suddenly go away the second they reach a certain age. so if anything, I feel sorry for people who say âadults shouldnât write fanfics or make fan artâ because what these people really say is that they expect themselves to stop having fun and finding comfort in things that bring them joy and comfort the second they reach a certain age. itâs sad that they put an expiration date on their own fun and source of comfort.
