Diary Of A Spooky Admin

An epistolary RP blog of a beleaguered administrative assistant at the Magnus Institute, London. [Pfp by BlackBerreh. Author is American, my bad British ppl. No ship rp’ing please. In-characer comments welcome if they’re funny. Jonny and Alex, if you see this…. Sorry in advance]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I hope everyone involved in the decision to make astronauts use Outlook on their way to the moon never goes a day of their lives without stepping in a fire ant colony

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Well… good to know the problems are universal.

Literally.

[8nin]

“what’s stopping you from-“ listen i am so so sleepy

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

I did not die, Elias has forgiven me and I have started being able to look him in the eye again. However I have been completely snowed in at work thanks to Elias deciding to switch out the Archives’ fire suppression system. So yeah I now have to:

1) shop around for a new building systems vendor since our old one is LITERALLY NO LONGER IN BUSINESS IT’S BEEN THAT LONG SINCE WE UPDATED THIS BUILDING

2) get the vendor approved and vetted in our purchasing system

3) haggle price with said vendor because we don’t actually have renovations money

4) Get permits for work on a historical building which, by the way, is a MASSIVE headache!!

5) prepare a huge invoice, and since the price WILL exceed the ₽5,000 single purchase limit I have to file exception paperwork and get secondary approval

6) get the exterminator to pay us YET ANOTHER visit before the fire system guys come because the fugly little worm buggers are STILL hanging around, seriously where are they fucking coming from

7) Actually schedule the work

8) Keep fucking Sims out of the basement while the work is being done

9) book a hotel room for a night for Marto because he can’t be in the basement while they install and test the new system :(( my poor buddy…

Oh and all of this because Sims insisted on it, of course! Spammed my and Elias’s email inboxes, was constantly up our asses about it, literally wore Elias down until he said yes which would almost be impressive if not for how FUCKING ANNOYING HE IS!!

I have been working on this all week and I’m not even on step 4 yet. Sims seems to think the worm infestation is gonna kill him. He should be more worried about ME.

“Oooooh waaah the worms are gonna bite me”

I WILL SHOOT YOU. WITH A GUN

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

Kindly do not harm our Archivist, Mx. SpookyAdmin.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

(Respectfully) SIR HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT??!?? I BLOCKED YOU 🫵

If Sims doesn’t willingly vacate the basement during our installation appointment then I make no promises re: not killing him

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

You tried to block me, you mean.

At any rate, I would appreciate no harm come to him. I will... Talk to him about filing his expenses more promptly, if you wish.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Ominous. I hate it.

It’s fine, he and I have a whole disrespectful email chain about it. We’ve come to a tentative truce where we call each other motherfuckers to each others’ face, but we get the job done without actually throwing hands. And of course I come on here and yell about wringing his skinny little neck for fun.

What’s with the fire extinguisher expense tho. Tbh I was shocked you actually approved that one.

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

The extinguishers will... come in handy. I've ensured the Lukases can fund the additional cost.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

*siiiigh* ugh fiiiineee. Please send me that in an email so I have it in writing, I’ll go talk to the grants admins about documenting the additional funds

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

I did not die, Elias has forgiven me and I have started being able to look him in the eye again. However I have been completely snowed in at work thanks to Elias deciding to switch out the Archives’ fire suppression system. So yeah I now have to:

1) shop around for a new building systems vendor since our old one is LITERALLY NO LONGER IN BUSINESS IT’S BEEN THAT LONG SINCE WE UPDATED THIS BUILDING

2) get the vendor approved and vetted in our purchasing system

3) haggle price with said vendor because we don’t actually have renovations money

4) Get permits for work on a historical building which, by the way, is a MASSIVE headache!!

5) prepare a huge invoice, and since the price WILL exceed the ₽5,000 single purchase limit I have to file exception paperwork and get secondary approval

6) get the exterminator to pay us YET ANOTHER visit before the fire system guys come because the fugly little worm buggers are STILL hanging around, seriously where are they fucking coming from

7) Actually schedule the work

8) Keep fucking Sims out of the basement while the work is being done

9) book a hotel room for a night for Marto because he can’t be in the basement while they install and test the new system :(( my poor buddy…

Oh and all of this because Sims insisted on it, of course! Spammed my and Elias’s email inboxes, was constantly up our asses about it, literally wore Elias down until he said yes which would almost be impressive if not for how FUCKING ANNOYING HE IS!!

I have been working on this all week and I’m not even on step 4 yet. Sims seems to think the worm infestation is gonna kill him. He should be more worried about ME.

“Oooooh waaah the worms are gonna bite me”

I WILL SHOOT YOU. WITH A GUN

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

Kindly do not harm our Archivist, Mx. SpookyAdmin.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

(Respectfully) SIR HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT??!?? I BLOCKED YOU 🫵

If Sims doesn’t willingly vacate the basement during our installation appointment then I make no promises re: not killing him

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

You tried to block me, you mean.

At any rate, I would appreciate no harm come to him. I will... Talk to him about filing his expenses more promptly, if you wish.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Ominous. I hate it.

It’s fine, he and I have a whole disrespectful email chain about it. We’ve come to a tentative truce where we call each other motherfuckers to each others’ face, but we get the job done without actually throwing hands. And of course I come on here and yell about wringing his skinny little neck for fun.

What’s with the fire extinguisher expense tho. Tbh I was shocked you actually approved that one.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

I did not die, Elias has forgiven me and I have started being able to look him in the eye again. However I have been completely snowed in at work thanks to Elias deciding to switch out the Archives’ fire suppression system. So yeah I now have to:

1) shop around for a new building systems vendor since our old one is LITERALLY NO LONGER IN BUSINESS IT’S BEEN THAT LONG SINCE WE UPDATED THIS BUILDING

2) get the vendor approved and vetted in our purchasing system

3) haggle price with said vendor because we don’t actually have renovations money

4) Get permits for work on a historical building which, by the way, is a MASSIVE headache!!

5) prepare a huge invoice, and since the price WILL exceed the ₽5,000 single purchase limit I have to file exception paperwork and get secondary approval

6) get the exterminator to pay us YET ANOTHER visit before the fire system guys come because the fugly little worm buggers are STILL hanging around, seriously where are they fucking coming from

7) Actually schedule the work

8) Keep fucking Sims out of the basement while the work is being done

9) book a hotel room for a night for Marto because he can’t be in the basement while they install and test the new system :(( my poor buddy…

Oh and all of this because Sims insisted on it, of course! Spammed my and Elias’s email inboxes, was constantly up our asses about it, literally wore Elias down until he said yes which would almost be impressive if not for how FUCKING ANNOYING HE IS!!

I have been working on this all week and I’m not even on step 4 yet. Sims seems to think the worm infestation is gonna kill him. He should be more worried about ME.

“Oooooh waaah the worms are gonna bite me”

I WILL SHOOT YOU. WITH A GUN

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

Kindly do not harm our Archivist, Mx. SpookyAdmin.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

(Respectfully) SIR HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT??!?? I BLOCKED YOU 🫵

If Sims doesn’t willingly vacate the basement during our installation appointment then I make no promises re: not killing him

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

I did not die, Elias has forgiven me and I have started being able to look him in the eye again. However I have been completely snowed in at work thanks to Elias deciding to switch out the Archives’ fire suppression system. So yeah I now have to:

1) shop around for a new building systems vendor since our old one is LITERALLY NO LONGER IN BUSINESS IT’S BEEN THAT LONG SINCE WE UPDATED THIS BUILDING

2) get the vendor approved and vetted in our purchasing system

3) haggle price with said vendor because we don’t actually have renovations money

4) Get permits for work on a historical building which, by the way, is a MASSIVE headache!!

5) prepare a huge invoice, and since the price WILL exceed the ₽5,000 single purchase limit I have to file exception paperwork and get secondary approval

6) get the exterminator to pay us YET ANOTHER visit before the fire system guys come because the fugly little worm buggers are STILL hanging around, seriously where are they fucking coming from

7) Actually schedule the work

8) Keep fucking Sims out of the basement while the work is being done

9) book a hotel room for a night for Marto because he can’t be in the basement while they install and test the new system :(( my poor buddy…

Oh and all of this because Sims insisted on it, of course! Spammed my and Elias’s email inboxes, was constantly up our asses about it, literally wore Elias down until he said yes which would almost be impressive if not for how FUCKING ANNOYING HE IS!!

I have been working on this all week and I’m not even on step 4 yet. Sims seems to think the worm infestation is gonna kill him. He should be more worried about ME.

“Oooooh waaah the worms are gonna bite me”

I WILL SHOOT YOU. WITH A GUN

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

[OOC post:

I know the Michaels thing is a running joke in the TMA fandom but actually Jonny’s choices make perfect sense to me. I work in a department with three different Michaels who spell their names the same and each pronounce them differently. None of them like to be called Mike for short. Two of them are people I work closely with. I have started referring to one of them exclusively as his last name when he’s not in the room. It’s only a matter of time before I slip and call him (Lastname) to his face. It confuses me constantly in emails because, like I said. SPELLED ALL THE SAME. AAAAAHHHH]

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

different anon here. THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU WOULD????

What, he’s hot and rich and toxic and he’s got the whole silver fox look going on. I’d tap it just out of morbid curiosity. Sue me for liking ‘em beekeeping age.

Honestly, if I get piss drunk at the holiday party this year he might even let me get away with my job intact. Depends on his nebulous relationship status. (Still investigating.)

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

Well, this was certainly interesting Knowledge to come across....

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

ACTUALLY. ASKS ARE CLOSED NOW AND FOREVER.

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I will neither confirm nor deny your theories as to the state of my marriage at present, but I will grant that you are.... aesthetically attractive, and that I would hardly fire someone as competent as you... for any reason.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Aww that’s very kind of you sir!! I’m still going to crawl in a hole and die of mortification tho. Have a nice weekend I will see you on Monday 🫡

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I will see you on Monday.

Oh, and, for the record - you have, in fact, met my now ex-husband before. As I recall, you were very dismissive of his abilities regarding technology.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

You’re shitting me…. You were NOT married to mister can’t-sign-a-pdf…. PLS TELL ME THIS IS A SICK JOKE

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I was, in fact, married to "mister can't-sign-a-pdf". Peter Lukas, his name is. And this is our... sixth divorce this year.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

SIX?

I do not believe you, you are a lying liar who lies.

Also tell ur ex-husband to tell his PA to answer my emails before I hunt him down

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I assure you, I am not a liar.

And I will pass the message along. Kindly refrain from hunting down my ex-spouse.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Oh no not ur ex, he’s safe, I know exactly where my paycheck comes from thank you very much. His PA on the other hand…. That man is in danger.

THREE FOLLOW UP EMAILS THIS WEEK ALONE, ELIAS. THREE!

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I will ensure you receive a rapid response in future.

And I don't recall giving you permission to use my first name.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Awww but you let Sims call you that all the time

:(( and he’s not even polite about it :(((((

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

Unfortunately, Mx. SpookyAdmin, it has proven impossible to get the Archivist to treat me with respect. You, on the other hand...

...you may call me Elias, so as long as you are not insubordinate otherwise. Well.. no more insubordinate than you have been already, at any rate.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Yes sir, sorry sir 🫡

….Respectfully I am going to block you now. Professionalism, work/life balance, et cetera et cetera, I’m sure you understand.

Also I still have an appointment with a mortification hole.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

different anon here. THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU WOULD????

What, he’s hot and rich and toxic and he’s got the whole silver fox look going on. I’d tap it just out of morbid curiosity. Sue me for liking ‘em beekeeping age.

Honestly, if I get piss drunk at the holiday party this year he might even let me get away with my job intact. Depends on his nebulous relationship status. (Still investigating.)

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

Well, this was certainly interesting Knowledge to come across....

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

ACTUALLY. ASKS ARE CLOSED NOW AND FOREVER.

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I will neither confirm nor deny your theories as to the state of my marriage at present, but I will grant that you are.... aesthetically attractive, and that I would hardly fire someone as competent as you... for any reason.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Aww that’s very kind of you sir!! I’m still going to crawl in a hole and die of mortification tho. Have a nice weekend I will see you on Monday 🫡

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I will see you on Monday.

Oh, and, for the record - you have, in fact, met my now ex-husband before. As I recall, you were very dismissive of his abilities regarding technology.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

You’re shitting me…. You were NOT married to mister can’t-sign-a-pdf…. PLS TELL ME THIS IS A SICK JOKE

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I was, in fact, married to "mister can't-sign-a-pdf". Peter Lukas, his name is. And this is our... sixth divorce this year.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

SIX?

I do not believe you, you are a lying liar who lies.

Also tell ur ex-husband to tell his PA to answer my emails before I hunt him down

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I assure you, I am not a liar.

And I will pass the message along. Kindly refrain from hunting down my ex-spouse.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Oh no not ur ex, he’s safe, I know exactly where my paycheck comes from thank you very much. His PA on the other hand…. That man is in danger.

THREE FOLLOW UP EMAILS THIS WEEK ALONE, ELIAS. THREE!

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I will ensure you receive a rapid response in future.

And I don't recall giving you permission to use my first name.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Awww but you let Sims call you that all the time

:(( and he’s not even polite about it :(((((

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

different anon here. THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU WOULD????

What, he’s hot and rich and toxic and he’s got the whole silver fox look going on. I’d tap it just out of morbid curiosity. Sue me for liking ‘em beekeeping age.

Honestly, if I get piss drunk at the holiday party this year he might even let me get away with my job intact. Depends on his nebulous relationship status. (Still investigating.)

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

Well, this was certainly interesting Knowledge to come across....

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

ACTUALLY. ASKS ARE CLOSED NOW AND FOREVER.

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I will neither confirm nor deny your theories as to the state of my marriage at present, but I will grant that you are.... aesthetically attractive, and that I would hardly fire someone as competent as you... for any reason.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Aww that’s very kind of you sir!! I’m still going to crawl in a hole and die of mortification tho. Have a nice weekend I will see you on Monday 🫡

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I will see you on Monday.

Oh, and, for the record - you have, in fact, met my now ex-husband before. As I recall, you were very dismissive of his abilities regarding technology.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

You’re shitting me…. You were NOT married to mister can’t-sign-a-pdf…. PLS TELL ME THIS IS A SICK JOKE

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I was, in fact, married to "mister can't-sign-a-pdf". Peter Lukas, his name is. And this is our... sixth divorce this year.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

SIX?

I do not believe you, you are a lying liar who lies.

Also tell ur ex-husband to tell his PA to answer my emails before I hunt him down

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I assure you, I am not a liar.

And I will pass the message along. Kindly refrain from hunting down my ex-spouse.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Oh no not ur ex, he’s safe, I know exactly where my paycheck comes from thank you very much. His PA on the other hand…. That man is in danger.

THREE FOLLOW UP EMAILS THIS WEEK ALONE, ELIAS. THREE!

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

different anon here. THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU WOULD????

What, he’s hot and rich and toxic and he’s got the whole silver fox look going on. I’d tap it just out of morbid curiosity. Sue me for liking ‘em beekeeping age.

Honestly, if I get piss drunk at the holiday party this year he might even let me get away with my job intact. Depends on his nebulous relationship status. (Still investigating.)

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

Well, this was certainly interesting Knowledge to come across....

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

ACTUALLY. ASKS ARE CLOSED NOW AND FOREVER.

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I will neither confirm nor deny your theories as to the state of my marriage at present, but I will grant that you are.... aesthetically attractive, and that I would hardly fire someone as competent as you... for any reason.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Aww that’s very kind of you sir!! I’m still going to crawl in a hole and die of mortification tho. Have a nice weekend I will see you on Monday 🫡

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I will see you on Monday.

Oh, and, for the record - you have, in fact, met my now ex-husband before. As I recall, you were very dismissive of his abilities regarding technology.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

You’re shitting me…. You were NOT married to mister can’t-sign-a-pdf…. PLS TELL ME THIS IS A SICK JOKE

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I was, in fact, married to "mister can't-sign-a-pdf". Peter Lukas, his name is. And this is our... sixth divorce this year.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

SIX?

I do not believe you, you are a lying liar who lies.

Also tell ur ex-husband to tell his PA to answer my emails before I hunt him down

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

different anon here. THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU WOULD????

What, he’s hot and rich and toxic and he’s got the whole silver fox look going on. I’d tap it just out of morbid curiosity. Sue me for liking ‘em beekeeping age.

Honestly, if I get piss drunk at the holiday party this year he might even let me get away with my job intact. Depends on his nebulous relationship status. (Still investigating.)

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

Well, this was certainly interesting Knowledge to come across....

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

ACTUALLY. ASKS ARE CLOSED NOW AND FOREVER.

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I will neither confirm nor deny your theories as to the state of my marriage at present, but I will grant that you are.... aesthetically attractive, and that I would hardly fire someone as competent as you... for any reason.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Aww that’s very kind of you sir!! I’m still going to crawl in a hole and die of mortification tho. Have a nice weekend I will see you on Monday 🫡

[peterlukas-ofthetundra]

We got divorced last week. Have at him, just know he changes his mind a lot. gets pretty hard to keep track of sometimes.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

OH MY GOD YOU

🫵

Tell ur PA to answer my emails before I find his ass. This is the third follow-up this week alone. I WILL start cc’ing you, this is a threat

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

different anon here. THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU WOULD????

What, he’s hot and rich and toxic and he’s got the whole silver fox look going on. I’d tap it just out of morbid curiosity. Sue me for liking ‘em beekeeping age.

Honestly, if I get piss drunk at the holiday party this year he might even let me get away with my job intact. Depends on his nebulous relationship status. (Still investigating.)

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

Well, this was certainly interesting Knowledge to come across....

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

ACTUALLY. ASKS ARE CLOSED NOW AND FOREVER.

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I will neither confirm nor deny your theories as to the state of my marriage at present, but I will grant that you are.... aesthetically attractive, and that I would hardly fire someone as competent as you... for any reason.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Aww that’s very kind of you sir!! I’m still going to crawl in a hole and die of mortification tho. Have a nice weekend I will see you on Monday 🫡

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I will see you on Monday.

Oh, and, for the record - you have, in fact, met my now ex-husband before. As I recall, you were very dismissive of his abilities regarding technology.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

You’re shitting me…. You were NOT married to mister can’t-sign-a-pdf…. PLS TELL ME THIS IS A SICK JOKE

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

different anon here. THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU WOULD????

What, he’s hot and rich and toxic and he’s got the whole silver fox look going on. I’d tap it just out of morbid curiosity. Sue me for liking ‘em beekeeping age.

Honestly, if I get piss drunk at the holiday party this year he might even let me get away with my job intact. Depends on his nebulous relationship status. (Still investigating.)

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

Well, this was certainly interesting Knowledge to come across....

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

ACTUALLY. ASKS ARE CLOSED NOW AND FOREVER.

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

I will neither confirm nor deny your theories as to the state of my marriage at present, but I will grant that you are.... aesthetically attractive, and that I would hardly fire someone as competent as you... for any reason.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Aww that’s very kind of you sir!! I’m still going to crawl in a hole and die of mortification tho. Have a nice weekend I will see you on Monday 🫡

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

of course he’s on goddamn facebook

He posts absolutely nothing, I think he has the page just so it like. Exists.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

AND APPARENTLY HE HAS A FUCNING TUMBLER THAT I HADN’T BLOCKED TOO

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

different anon here. THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU WOULD????

What, he’s hot and rich and toxic and he’s got the whole silver fox look going on. I’d tap it just out of morbid curiosity. Sue me for liking ‘em beekeeping age.

Honestly, if I get piss drunk at the holiday party this year he might even let me get away with my job intact. Depends on his nebulous relationship status. (Still investigating.)

[headofthemagnusinstitute]

Well, this was certainly interesting Knowledge to come across....

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

ACTUALLY. ASKS ARE CLOSED NOW AND FOREVER.

[diaryofaspookyadmin]

Third anon here, is prev implying they wouldn't?? He is toxically irresistible, you can't change my mind

APPARENTLY. Cowards.