DiaryOfDeepLove

[diaryofdeeplove]

Dear My Love,

I just want to understand, why does it seem unfair that you can flirt with someone else, but when I react or express my feelings, it becomes my fault? If I were to do the same, you would get upset. I have been trying to communicate with you that this is disrespectful to me, but it feels like my feelings are being dismissed.

Flirting, saying things like "kakainin kita" or "baka sumuko ka," do you really think that’s okay? And now, you still entertain that person even though you know I feel jealous? You even told me that they once pursued someone who was already in a relationship—so what makes you think they wouldn’t do the same now? If they truly respected our relationship, they should have distanced themselves. But they didn’t. So the question is, why? Is it because they also want something more?

And now, they’re even messaging you privately? What does that mean? Are you friends? No. Do you even know each other well? No. So what’s the reason for them to PM you when group chats exist? If it's just casual talk, why not keep it there? Why the need for private messages? Where’s the respect? Ok lang mag manyakan kayo sa gc niyo but iwasan mag message sa PM.

But in the end, I am the one at fault, even if you say it's just a joke. There is no “joke” when it comes to flirting with someone else, whether they are a man or a woman it still hurts. This is how cheating begins, through conversations like these. Don’t you see that?

What if I did the same to you? How would you feel? Would you still say it’s just harmless fun? If you truly wanted someone else, I would rather hear it from you directly than be left here feeling disrespected and questioning my worth. I let things pass because I love you so much. But how long can I endure this? How long can I tolerate a relationship that keeps hurting me?

Wouldn’t it be better to just avoid the things that can ruin what we have?

Your love.

[diaryofdeeplove]

When Problems Take a Toll on a Relationship

Is it normal na kapag may problema, nadadamay pati relationship? Is this how it’s supposed to be? That we let problems take over us? Diba dapat tayo ang magkasangga, magkakampi? But why does it feel like everything even us, is turning against each other?

And another thing okay lang ba magflirt with someone else? Kahit sabihin pang joke lang? Kasi if I do the same, what would you feel? Is that respect? Sana iniisip mo rin how your partner would feel in situations like that. Joking or not, it’s still about respect.

What will other people think if they see it? That it’s okay for me? Even if it’s not? Sometimes, it feels easier to just shut the hell up rather than communicate, because when I try, things just escalate for the worse. But is this really how it should be? Is this really us?

[diaryofdeeplove]

To the One I Loved Before,

I don’t know how to begin, but my heart is heavy, and my mind won’t stop racing. I miss the person you used to be—the brave, independent, strong woman I fell in love with. Before, you never showed weakness. You stood tall, faced challenges head-on, and never backed down. But now… what happened?

Lately, all I hear from you is stress, complaints, and frustration. You get angry so easily, and I feel like I’m always walking on eggshells. And when you lash out at me, when you throw words that cut deep, I hold back. Not because I don’t have anything to say, but because I love you too much to hurt you back. I never wanted a relationship full of resentment and pain, yet here we are.

I’ve given you everything I could—my time, my effort, my money, even my patience when it’s running thin. I put you first, even when it means sacrificing what I need. You tell me you can’t afford the things you want, but have you thought about what I’ve given up for you? I bought you a phone, I gave you what I could, and yet I can’t even afford to buy myself the things I need. Right now, all I have is rice and Knorr cubes, and I tell myself that’s enough. But is it?

I don’t mind giving, but what hurts is that you don’t even see it. You don’t listen to me. You don’t see how much I try to keep things together. You used to be so strong, but now you just want to give up every time life gets hard. If you’re working for your family, then find strength in them instead of drowning in complaints. If you truly need me, then let me be your support, not just someone you take from.

I miss the old you. The fearless, independent woman I admired. But now, I don’t know anymore. I don’t know if I can keep holding on like this. I don’t know if I can keep breaking myself just to keep you whole.

Me..

[diaryofdeeplove]

To My Girl,

I just want to pour out everything I feel in this letter, so please take time to read and understand.

First of all, aaminin ko, marupok ako when it comes to you. Mahal na mahal kita, and I can’t help but accept your apology because I can never resist you. You’re my everything. But lately, there’s something that’s been hurting me deeply.

You have a friend, someone you trust, but instead of giving advice that would help us grow and fix things, mas pinipili pa niyang payuhan ka na iwanan ako. Sinasabi niya na toxic ako. Yes, maybe I am toxic for asking for a little time with you, but can you see it from my perspective? Kung sa oras na ginagamit mo para makipagusap sa GC niyo, mas pinili mo sana na kausapin ako at ayusin ang mga bagay, hindi ba mas okay iyon?

You think it’s about your day off. Hindi. Naipaliwanag ko na sa’yo na it's about that little time before you sleep. That moment when I feel we can connect after a long day. Pero hindi iyon ang nakikita ng iba.

Masakit makita na ang kaibigan mo, imbes na tulungan kang pag ayusin tayo, eh mas pinili pang turuan ka na iwanan ako. To me, it feels like inggit. Kasi meron ka ng isang tao na tulad ko, someone who loves you unconditionally, something they don’t have. Kaya mas madali nilang sabihin na, “Iwanan mo na lang siya. Marami pang iba diyan.”

My GirI, supported you in all your decisions, economically, mentally, physically. Lahat ng kaya kong maitulong sa abot ng aking makakaya, ginawa ko. Siguro wala silang katulad ko na asawa o partner nila sa buhay, kaya mas pinipili nila na ibaba ka kasama nila kaysa tulungan kang ayusin ang meron tayo na misunderstanding.

But let me tell you this: no one else will love you the way I do. No one else will fight for you the way I’m fighting now. Kaya Karen Joy, if you’re reading this, let me be honest with you: you’re not being a true friend. A true friend would help find the problem and fix it. A true friend would want their friend to be happy, not push them to give up on someone who genuinely cares.

To you, my Girl, I just want you to know that I’m here, fighting for us, kahit gaano kasakit. Mahal na mahal kita, and no matter what happens, you’ll always have me.

Love,

Your Man

[diaryofdeeplove]

Dear My Girl,

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sisimulan ang sulat na to, pero gusto kong ilabas lahat ng nararamdaman ko. Mahal kita, pero hindi ko maiwasang maramdaman na mas iba ang priorities mo. Mas mabilis ka pang magreply sa group chat ng barkada mo kaysa sa akin. Ako pa 'yung tipong maghihintay ng 20 o 30 minutes bago ka sumagot, minsan pa nga mas matagal.

Alam kong busy ka, at hindi ko inaalis sayo ang freedom na makipag-usap sa iba. Pero ang hirap tanggapin na parang wala na ako sa listahan ng mga bagay na mahalaga sayo. Hindi ito tungkol sa kung sino ang kausap mo, kundi sa pakiramdam na ako, bilang partner mo, hindi mo nabibigyan ng priority o oras.

Kapag naglalabas ako ng nararamdaman ko, parang lagi mo na lang binabaliktad na ako pa ang masama. Na para bang tinatanggalan kita ng kalayaan. Pero hindi naman yun ang punto ko. Hindi ko hinihiling na sobra sobrang effort ang ibigay mo, gusto ko lang maramdaman na kahit papaano, importante ako sa buhay mo.

Hindi ko sinulat to para makipagtalo o magsumbat. Gusto ko lang maipakita sayo kung gaano kabigat yung nararamdaman ko. Actions speak louder than words, at sa totoo lang, ang nakikita ko sa mga kilos mo ay tila wala akong halaga. Ang hinihiling ko lang ay respeto sa nararamdaman ko at oras para sa akin.

Mahal kita, pero sana makita mo rin kung gaano kahirap ang ganito. Ayokong dumating sa punto na mapagod ako nang tuluyan. Sana naman ipakita mo na mahalaga rin ako sayo.

Love,

Your Man