Dib

Hello. I’m Dib, a young paranormal investigator and SERIOUSLY misunderstood visionary! Supernatural happenings have always fascinated me and I’m making it my life goal to prove their existence to the world! I have indisputable proof of everything from Bigfeets to alien invaders to those, uh, spiralling skyfish things. Oh yeah, pay special attention to that "alien invader" part. They're out there right now! Maybe even on this planet already! MAYBE EVEN IN MY CLASSROOM! All right, enough of that. Go ahead and ask me anything you want to. ...Within reason. I really don't think there's any more reason at this point to ask me stuff about my head. 

[dib1]

Have you heard of or played a video game called Finding Bigfoot yet? I can send you a video of a few people playing it if you want

I mean, I’ve seen it, but I can’t say it’s very realistic.

And how come all the people playing this game aren’t out there looking for the REAL Bigfoot, huh? He frequents garages and should be pretty easy to catch when he’s not on to you! (he’s on to me, which is obviously why I haven’t caught him yet. Plus Gaz is friends with him on social media and I think she sends him a note whenever I go exploring the woods or something.)

[dib1]

👀👀👀

Hey! Quit staring at me!

[dib1]

a Crazy mAn who had moon rocK poisoning. seE? aren't you GLaD your dad doesn't work for Aperture?

Uh, I think I might be missing something here. I didn’t know moon rocks were poisonous- and Aperture? Are you talking about that facility that had the horrible accident years ago? Why would Dad work there? He started his own company when he was two!

Oh, also, you might want to get your keyboard looked at, I think your shift key is stuck or something.

[dib1]

Hey, Dib, good to see you back on Tumblr again. Today I was actually watching Unsealed: Alien Case Files, and in one of the episodes they brought up a theory that Pharaoh Akhenaten was actually an alien and that makes descendants of the Pharaoh are alien-human hybrids. What do you think?

Good to be ba- wait, did I go somewhere?

Anyhow, no, no, no, the pharaohs weren’t aliens. Their cats were!

[dib1]

Maybe you can trick Zim to go to Japan? The spirits and monsters there are well they don't like anyone disturbing them (as long as he doesn't wear a protective pendant or something) so maybe they'd fall for Zim's disguise and kill him.

Hey, that might work if someone convinced him to eat spirit food and he turned into a pig!

[dib1]

can i hug you?

Is this just another trick to put a Kick Me sign on my back? Reeeeaaalll mature. It didn’t work that time and it won’t work this time!

[dib1]

How old do you think Zim is in human and irken years?

It’s hard to say for sure, but he did say that he was flying ships since before I was born. And Tak said that the stuff with her and Zim happened fifty years ago. So for all I know, he could be ancient!

So why does he always act like he’s five?

[dib1]

You should probably see this, Dib.

NYAAHH! He sounds even more evil than he did the last time I saw him!

Has anyone told the Swollen Eyeballs about this?!

I guess it’s just as well. If he thinks he can just come back and take over that easily, then he’s…! Uh… He’s just… dumb!

Yeah. He won’t get the Earth as long as I’m around!

[dib1]

Hey, what’s going on?

I heard something was coming back.

[dib1]

[dib1]

You mean the fork that was hanging from a string?

Hanging from a string? No it wasn’t, it-

…Oh.

Okay, this one’s officially off my favorite episodes list.

[dib1]

Well, I have seen some pretty cool things, but Mysterious Mysteries is pretty much the only decent paranormal-themed show that comes on where I live and sometimes they have some really compelling episodes.

Like that one with the floating fork? Who was doing that, anyway?

[dib1]

What? How would you even know that? No one ever calls me.

[dib1]

What are your thoughts on ghosts?

Why do you ask? Are you a ghost?? …Or are you just trying to make fun of me?

[dib1]

Who do you think won the rap battle?

Uh, I don’t know. I’m more into the spooky, sci-fi sort of music, like the Mysterious Mysteries theme. It’s actually my ringtone! Don’t tell anyone.

[dib1]

Don’t worry, I’ve seen it. I mean come on, I track his every move. You think I wouldn’t notice him try to do some weird rap battle? Emphasis on “try”...

And look at this, he can’t even spell the name of his own species right.

Maybe Gaz has a point about him...

[dib1]

It's almost the new year, and the earth is still intact, so nice job!

Y’know, I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before, so, thanks. Happy New Year.