Who are you, lost so far away from here?

˖.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ Digital diary for DID related things. ⋆｡°✩ 21+, minors and endos can look but don't touch.

[diddigitaldiary]

Intro

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Hiya. I've been diagnosed with PTSD and DID, this is me working through that. I am currently in treatment.

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"Why can endos look but not touch?"

I am anti-endo, and I will not be changing my mind about that unless the medical and psychology fields offers some compelling studies on the matter. I am pro science through and through, and from my observations most endos are pretty anti science and anti recovery. That is why I do not want endos engaging with me or my blog. However I do understand that there are plenty of people who become more at ease with their CDDs through the endo community, and I would rather that one person who needs to see my blog see it, than to block me right off the bat.

That being said I block freely and often and I encourage you to do the same. Hate messages and hate campaigns are never ok. It's never ok to tell someone to kill themselves, and you know that.

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I don't generally think DNIs work but I will put one here to state my stances on the relevant discourse and save us all the trouble.

DNI: endos/willows/tulpas, radqueer, radical feminists of all varieties

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[diddigitaldiary]

"The body keeps the score" can it not? Id prefer if it didn't. If prefer if it kept significantly less scores. Id really like it if the body didn't decide to be the number one score book to keep track of all scores. I think we should be allowed forget some of those in fact.

[nicollekidman]

aloof unapproachable frigid ice queens with inarticulable desires

[toothsheeran]

[the-io-collective]

primary protectors casually reminding folks that they do not play

[fireflies-glowing]

system meme dump!

ENDOS DNI

[13conk9s]

you ever notice how many people are like "lol my system would get me fakeclaimed"… it's almost like… it's almost as if, hypothetically… and hear me out now… it's almost as if people's expectations & assumptions about systemhood…….. are wrong.

[verynervoussystem]

Waking up in the morning feels like this

[draconym]

It's nuts how common it is to not allow children to be angry, even (especially) in households where adults are angry all the time. As a child I knew my own anger was unacceptable--not just expressing it outwardly but feeling it at all. So now as an adult my immediate reaction to my own anger is often to feel guilt instead of like. Noticing when someone is being rude or unfair or my boundaries are being violated or whatever. fucked up.

[heartbloom-manor]

“DID needs childhood trauma to have formed”

Yes, but also

“What is traumatic to a child may not seem traumatic to an adult”

A kids brain has no logbook comparing their stress to someone else’s. All it knows is that it’s under severe stress.

[robbertosrats]

”systemhood is a dissociative disorder, not a trauma disorder!!” Correct!! You know why dissociation happens??? Because of trauma!! Crazy, I know.

[kittycatutaite]

Small reminder that DID is often a covert disorder and overt DID is actually pretty rare. A person could go their whole life without knowing they have DID because that's the point. You do not need to know who you are all the time or who's fronting or need to feel like you're a faker because you act the same pretty much all the time. You do not need to act drastically different between your headmates to be valid.

[anti-willo-miku]

I love you systems whose trauma is considered “not enough” to form a CDD. Everyone’s stress threshold is different and whats traumatic to some isn’t to traumatic to others. You belong in this community, and it’s awful that anyone thinks they have to right to make you feel like you have to justify your trauma response.

I love you systems whose trauma is considered “too much” to be believed. Your experiences are real and deserved to be heard, and if you don’t want to tell you’re not obligated to.

[polypeptied]

[anti-rq-white-blood-cell]

Remember that while you need trauma to split that does not mean every split after it needs to be some horribly life ruining experience.

Once the tap drips it can flood

[anti-rq-white-blood-cell]

I say this mostly because of “trauma endos.”

No, it’s not a different genic. Your brain (already traumatized) decided you needed to split. No, not all splits come from deep rooted trauma, I have split after minor arguments/minor physical injuries because my brain said I needed to.

You are just… traumatized… everyone’s threshold is different

[anti-rq-white-blood-cell]

Remember that while you need trauma to split that does not mean every split after it needs to be some horribly life ruining experience.

Once the tap drips it can flood

[anti-willo-miku]

What makes me really sad is when people say “I’m endogenic because my system formed from [insert thing] instead of trauma” and the thing in question is just… truama that isn’t commonly represented in the community. I hate the myth that you have the absolute worst most horrific things ever happen to develop a cdd. So many things can be traumatic, especially to a child.

Neglect can be traumatic, loneliness and isolation can be traumatic, bullying can be traumatic.

Combine that with other factors and a low stress tolerance and yeah, a system can form.

[anti-willo-yohioloid]

Can system communities be normal about people with "minor" trauma and trauma "too bad to be true" for one second please 🥹???