High School Drama #1: A trash-talker
It has been almost 10 months since I graduated High School (December 2015), and although I have been attending High School again, now that I am living in Japan for a year, being the shy exchange student that struggles with the language every single day, well… it’s a complete different experience. And I miss High School sometimes, after all, a lot of my greatest memories with my friends take place there. But, having this new experience, I also realize that there are thing that I don’t miss at all, and one of those things is the “drama” that sometimes took place there. Even when I attended an all-boys catholic school, sometimes the things that happened there could make “Mean Girls” look like a children`s cartoon (kind of… maybe I`m exaggerating). So I wanted to talk about that for this entry (and maybe some future ones); my experiences with drama at High School, and some reflections now that I have left High School.
Disclaimer: First of all, I want to apologize for the delay on this entry. Last week, I had to deal with some tests… and right now, I`m feeling pretty sick (flu… the weather is not precisely right now). I couldn’t come up with anything for Tumblr until 1 day before I was planning (1 entry per week promise) to post-it. I promise you I`m trying to get back on track after a couple of tough weeks.
Also… regarding this post, I wanted to write this as a little way to help some people that might be dealing with a similar case at school. This has no intend to be a step-by-step guide though, mainly because my approach to drama wasn’t precisely the best for each specific situation. Still, I think this is “a little grain of sand” for someone… and that is enough. High School was one of my favorite parts of my life (my, 17 year old life, at least), and if you can have a good time there too, that`s awesome ^^. As always, I hope you enjoy.
First, let me give you some sort of context.
Although I have always referred to my school as “High School” the truth is that, that concept is pretty much inexistent in Peru. My school building went from 1st, all the way 11th grade. There were some sort of divisions between the buildings to separate Elementary, Middle, and High School students, those were completely meaningless (the cafeteria was on the High School area, the Library on the Middle School, etc.). Anyways, that meant that when transitioning from Middle to High School for example, there was no actual “change”; you would still know everybody, and everybody would know you, ergo, there was no “fresh start”. You carried quite a reputation since Elementary School (which in my case… was pretty bad), and also you probably had a settled group of friends by then, so it was difficult to “make new friends” too. Those were some great ingredients for drama.
I arrived to my first year of High School with a small group of friends, which due to my shy personality was enough. I also had a group of classmates I played videogames with after school (we basically play 1 or 2 games before doing homework). It was in this group of guys, where I got my first taste of High School Drama…
It all started when, due to an old disagreement (I mean, something that happened in Middle School), one of the guys in the group (we`ll call him, Bubblegum, I can`t think of a single reason), developed some sort of “dislike” for me. I noticed that he was trying to make our games, as unpleasant as possible for me. He tried to trash-talk me as much as he could, and although it was a common occurrence between us, making fun of each other while playing… let`s just say he was taking to the next level (direct insults). I could tell he had some bad intentions, because it wasn’t the first time he had treated someone like that, but the other guys didn’t care much about it, so I guessed the best thing to do was to let it pass. And that was my first big mistake…
His insults were pretty normal at first, they were forced, but it didn’t bother me too much at first as I said, but with time, it started getting worse and worse. He was actually trying to hurt me as much as he could, and he was being successful at it. I told him to stop, obviously, but every time I did that, his response, was exactly what you would expect from these people:
“It`s just a joke, calm down”
“Stop being so dramatic, OMG”
It came to the point when he was using racist slang against me while we played. I remember he downloaded a program that let him played songs on Skype, just to play a racist song anytime I did something. It is while writing this, that I realize how much of an s**t person he was.
At some moment I decided that I couldn’t take it anymore. I still wanted to play with the other guys though, so my solution at the moment was muting my mic every time he logged in, to avoid any interaction (it may have been childish, I know…). Then, one time he didn’t notice I was online, I realized he was also doing, what we Peruvians call “rajar”, a.k.a. talking behind my back. He started to tell the worst stuff about me to my friends, mostly lies, or things I did in elementary school (which was a pretty tough era for me). That`s when the drama started… I had to deal with a shit-talker.
Bubblegum still tried to keep me around at school though. From the group of guys who we played with, only 2 of us were on the IB Program with him (and the other guy didn’t took different classes). I was doing pretty well in class during the first year of IB, while he wasn’t (he actually had trouble with many teachers). As a result, he kept asking me for “help” on his homework and assignments. Me… being the shy kid, who wanted to avoid fights with anybody, I “helped” him. This didn’t mean that he stopped being an idiot via Skype.
As you can see, both of us were kind of stupid (each for our own reasons). I was dealing with a 2-faced guy, the ones I think every single High School has. To this day, I`m not completely sure what made him act like that with me, but my best friend had a conversation with him (that… I think it`s better not to show), that implies that he might have been a little jealous for some reason. For example, although most of the other guys in the group wanted to play with him (he was way better than me), away from the screen, they chose to hang out with me, because I could keep a conversation that didn’t revolve around the videogame). So… he wanted to bring me down, and this is the case with most (if not all trash-talkers), because there is no other way they can reach you. But, obviously, they will only do so, either behind your back, or behind a computer screen.
I wish I could say that dealing with this guy was easy, because it could have been. But… me, being the shy guys who didn’t want to be mad with anybody, I tried to win his favor even when being aware of this whole incident of him talking to my friends “stuff” about me. Take this as an example of what “not to do”, when dealing with this type of people… because I could have avoided so many problems. Instead, I decided to “help” him with his homework, I played along with the racist insults in the game, and I always asked my friends what he was saying about me. You may get that I did some pretty stupid things before my last year of High School (if not, ask my best friend).
Also… the situation didn’t get any better, he was still treating me like cheat, mic on or muted, it didn’t matter. My decision was probably the worst possible, because never should I have ever tried to gain the favor of one of these people, it was never going to happen. Let me tell you, it is practically impossible to solve your differences with these people, because they want you to change (and not for good)… It took me a whole summer break to realize that.
My 2nd year of High School (at first, I wanted to divide this entry in 2 parts)
My school`s IB Program wasn’t exactly the best, as the teachers didn’t help us at all unless we came crying to them during one of their breaks. As a result, I took advantage of those 3 months to get as much work done as I could. Bubblegum on the other hand, didn’t know or care about how much work the program was requiring from him… Luckily, things started going my way, as soon as I started focusing more into school; my game sessions (if I had the chance to play) were much shorter, I made study groups, and also late night study moments. I tried to become a better students… and my personality sort of changed too… but that didn’t mean Bubblegum was happy about that. Trash-talkers don’t like that you are feeling good with yourself…
Getting more into school, also meant that I stopped trying to win himself as a friend (because he didn’t need me during the break, his insults became worse). He started getting mad at me, as you could expect, and it ended up with him breaking into a rant against me, because I refused to give him my whole E.E. so he could get “inspiration”… Yup…He snapped, and from that point on, things started going completely downhill for him. Apart from trying to bring me down in front of my friends, he started ignoring me at school. Just, plain “ice-rule”… *sigh*.
Because of the schoolwork and the IB program, most of “our” friends, started hanging with me a lot more, because I had better notes, I built a small study group, etc. He became “obsessed” with us, and that was pretty annoying, because an obsessed person is the last one you would like to have around you during the IB. Because I somehow got hang of one of Bubblegum`s secrets (this will come to play later, as it was some pretty dark stuff)… I tried to avoid him at all costs, because I knew if he got me mad enough (apart from ignoring, he also tried to make me uncomfortable), I was going to yell it as loud as I could…
I did not, luckily… Even though that might probably have ended some of my problems with him at the moment. I thought that the worst way of ending the drama he was trying to create with me, was by answering with more trash-talk. Also… it was good to know, that if I did that, I would have probably put a lot of my effort I was putting into studying, into bringing him down instead… Never do that, never… that guy wanted drama… and I avoided him because I didn’t want to lower myself to his level.
…
Anyways… I think this entry might be turning into something a little boring, so let`s fast forward a little bit. How did I dealt with Bubblegum instead? I… kind of didn’t, he ended up playing himself due to his obsession.
I told you there was this one guy that played videogames with us, that also took the IB Program. He had a scary resemblance to Regina George (2 “Mean Girls” references in 1 entry, I`m on fire). So one day we were on the computer lab, working on our Extended Essays, when his USB stopped working for some reason, so he asked me for help.
At that moment, Bubblegum came from 2 rows behind, offering himself, because “I didn’t know how to repair USBs” (I didn’t… but that was uncalled for). My friend gave him his USB, and told him that he needed it for the end of the week because he was going to work with a teacher, if I remember correctly. Obviously, he responded by telling him that he had no problem with that and while standing between both of us (kind… just kind of uncomfortable). And you know what happened at the end of the week? Bubblegum lost the USB… the one with his whole Essay… with less than a month left to the deadline.
THINGS. WENT. DOWN.
Long story short… my friend basically made Bubblegum the most miserable person on the IB Program, and in our game group. Nobody talked with him anymore… His secret went around in our group (not because of me, he also knew about it), and he became a total loner. I remember he had to sit next to us on lunch time just to make sure we weren’t talking about him (we didn’t… but it was kind of sad coming from him). Even worse, he tried to get back at me for that… so he locked himself in a classroom with my laptop so he could get my FB password and stuff… which ended pretty badly for him because all of my friends saw him doing that.
After that drama kind of ended for me…
I think (and this is totally my opinion, based on what happened), the best think you could possibly do when dealing with this type of people… is just, be yourself. That is what I realized that s**t-talkers hate the most. You do you… and everything will be fine… if those people keep hating on you, you are probably doing good, so don’t worry, the last thing they will do is actually confront you. And… quoting a Studyblr post that I read some time ago: “Drama doesn’t get you scores, books do”. Don`t waste your time in dealing with High School Drama, I wish I had been like that during the whole program…
I believe in you.
Well… this entry ended up being a little bit longer than I expected, and I`m not totally convinced on how it turned out. I`m kind of frustrated, but at least I managed to finish it, considering it was hard to write this without sounding either pretentious, or sounding like a victim. Again… I wrote this to hopefully help someone who deals with something similar… and maybe reflect on my own experience. It took me long to finish because of me editing every single word… So, yeah.
Thanks for reading, and I promise my next post will be a better, and on time…
See ya,
Diego














