Beautiful Escape @difficultyeteasy - Tumblr Blog

some inspirational messages from young k ☆

“I started to worry about what should be my reason for singing. For giving me the answer to this question through support and love, I want to sincerely give my thanks to My Days. Thank you for letting me know that my voice can bring happiness. Thank you for giving me a reason to sing.” ⁠— ⁠Young K’s Thanks To in ‘The Book of Us: Entropy’ album

omgosh!

Oh hi y'all! Finally I'm back on tumblr. Ohmy dem feels.

My country isn't blocking tumblr anymore /i guess/ so I can post again yeehaw!

And turned out all of my following is being inactive right now so yeah I guess I have to find something related again.

But anyway I'm so excited to be back again 😆😆

Problems

It’s seems like everyone has their own problems, their own worries. Same with me, I used to think that I should’ve not been worried all the time because I thought someone have something that even worse than me. But turned out that sometimes I have to be worried.

By worrying I know that’s something wrong in my life. By worrying I know I have to do something to change my life. Until now I’m just being an easy going person. Never care about everything that going on in my life. Or for exact saying I never want to be worry about everything.

I always try to ignore things but turned out I’ve always been worrying about everything. I might seems bright and cheerful but every night I’d always thinking about things that makes my heart heavy. Like where do I want to continue after my language class, my family problems. Those are the major problem that I’ve been worried right now. But most of all is my family problem.

My mom said that my dad want to convert into Islam. It’s not really a problem for me and I thought every decision made by my dad was all of his responsibility. If he thinks that it was the best decision so it’s okay. I support it all but I have to know the reason of why he wanted to convert. And the thing that I really worry about is my dad has commited adultery. This was a really embarassing story and I hope no one will find this story haha.

It’s been a rollercoaster in my life and I finally realized that I’ve always ignore a problem because I want to live happily. But turned out that I couldn’t sleep at night and having an unconcious stress. I’ve always be a ticking bomb that don’t know when I’ll explode. I’ve always been keep my emotion inside and I thought pressing it down would help. But yes, it doesn’t help at all.

So yeah, problems. Maybe we do really have to worry a bit.

Do You Consider Yourself a Christian?

So it’s been a long time after I wrote my last post. And here I am, coming with a bit deeper topic.

So it’s been a long time that I haven’t been going to church. Now I’m in SK and in my journey to find a fit church for myself. I’ve been streaming online service but something’s missing. The community. So I’ve been trying several church to know how it feels and find the one that ‘click’ for me.

Why do I write this? Today I was trying one of the church that I found online. The church is still growing and it feels good to be there. And there was one member of the church suddenly said that he almost never met an Indonesian who is a Christian and asked if we’re consider ourselves as a Christian. Well, that was a pretty ambiguous question. Did he ask because he never met an Indonesian Christian or because he thought we’re not a Christian before?

I think this question about religion is a pretty sensitive case. And I want to be clear that I write this because of that curious feeling of me. So, do we consider ourselves as Christian? In my opinion being a Christian is believing Jesus as our Saviour and accepting Him in our heart. Living our everyday life as a tribute to God and trying to make it to the fullest potential while glorifying Him. To be honest not all Christian doing a good things and maybe some people doing a good things for other people to see that he/she is a good person in the church. So it’s all depends in ourselves.

I still feel this question have a different meaning. Do we consider ourselves a good Christian? For me, I’m not considering myself as a good Christian. I’m not going to church every week, still found myself not praise and worship Him everyday and name it others. But yeah I’m trying to live myself according to what He told in the Bible. Love others, not judging, live righteously.

Do I consider myself as a Christian? Yes, I’ll say yes. I’m believing that He’s my Saviour and accepting Him to work in my life. But if someone’s asking if I’m a good Christian? I’ll say no, I’m still finding myself, I’m still doing a sin sometimes but I realized that wasn’t good. I’m still doing a mess and sometimes I run from Him. But I know in the end I’ll come back again to Him. Why? Because you’ll find peace when you’re near Him

First Born

I wonder how every first born surviving. I mean they’re not the only child and of course they have brothers or sisters. They have to be more considerate to the younger one because they’re the older one. Well isn’t that pretty unfair? I’m myself a firstborn and somehow realizing my dad adore my sister and my mom adore my brother. Well, I think that’s not a surprising news. I know parents realized /or not/ that they have their own favourite and maybe they sometimes not realizing that someone felt left behind eventhough they also gave the attention needed.

I’m always asking myself this question. Do every firstborn feel that left behind feeling? Can they be selfish sometimes? Do they always put their brother/sister first? Do they always be the one do everything that ordered by their parents? and other things ever crossed my mind. I even think that every first born have no right to be selfish. Well, I know that was insane. HAHA

I know I should be grateful that I still have parents but yeah I do! And I love them with all of my heart. They fulfil everything I need, they even give me things that I asked. Well, of course not all of it tho. But I’m just wondering if someone also feel what I felt. The feeling of helding a responsibility to act properly for being an example to their bro/sis. The suffocated feeling when you can’t just ask your parents if they’re really love you or not because they adore your bro/sis more. The responsibility for being the best to prove that you are worth too. And of course more of feeling that can’t come into words. I just want to say that I’m once a child and I’m still have that childish heart now. Sometimes I want to be acknoledge too.

Well, I thing I should just let it pass too. Like it never happened. Maybe I’m just overly sensitive now.

PS : This is my 1st article in 2017 after this long! Finally I wrote again. I should write more later this year :)

#first born #feelings #overly sensitive #a bit rant #it's okay sometimes

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armys singing tae’s part in i need you and his reaction is so precious,cutest smile ©

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Fencing Man & Archery Girl’s (Lady Jane) duet cover of “I’m in Love” by Ra.D (Full Ver.)

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this muscle boy’s sweet voice never fail me

#jeon jungkook #masked singer #bts #jungkook #fencing man #archery girl

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matchingconversewithnams

@coupleshoeswithtae

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FIRE BENDER!

#i shouldn't do this #why am I so twisted #jimin #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #aye fire #jimin the fire bender

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😍

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I’m still waiting for the “boyfriend selfies” next series.

#bts #v #kim taehyung #boyfie #boyfriend selfie #lol that's the best

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No one really understands how much compliments actually mean to me, like I sometimes brush them off with a joke and a quick “thank you,” but really, I remember compliments forever, so if you’ve ever complimented me or done something nice for me, thank you so much.