risk / reward.

𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦 : 𝚊𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚓 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚙𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚑𝚚 .

[bob-belcher]

[himydw]

You have all of one ask to completely shatter my character. Make it count.

[diggory]

olive — juliet — artemis — euphemia.

[anotherdamnrpmemeblog]

things that are hard to hear.

**possible triggers - abuse / death / suicidal implications change pronouns as needed for things you’d WANT to hear, click here!!

❝ i don’t want you in my life anymore. ❞

❝ i don’t want to have a relationship with you. ❞

❝ she’s not coming home. ❞

❝ that wasn’t meant for you. ❞

❝ i don’t love you, okay? i never did. i never will. ❞

❝ you’re wasting my time. ❞

❝ you’re wasting your time. ❞

❝ you’re not listening to me! ❞

❝ i feel like i can’t tell you anything. ❞

❝ you’re too late. ❞

❝ you don’t give yourself enough credit. ❞

❝ you don’t give me enough credit. ❞

❝ it’s time for things to change. ❞

❝ you failed me. ❞

❝ fuck you. ❞

❝ i can see right through you. ❞

❝ things are getting bad again. ❞

❝ are things getting bad again? ❞

❝ move on. ❞

❝ that’s on you. that’s your fault. ❞

❝ you’re holding on to things that are holding you back. ❞

❝ you haven’t changed. ❞

❝ i’m not changing my mind. ❞

❝ i’m dying. ❞

❝ you’re good – but you’re not as good as you could be. ❞

❝ it’s always about you. ❞

❝ nobody cares about your problems. ❞

❝ i don’t trust you. ❞

❝ you’re being taken advantage of! ❞

❝ i feel like you’re taking advantage of me. ❞

❝ did you hear what she said about you? ❞

❝ life isn’t fair. suck it up. ❞

❝ i didn’t mean i liked you that way– ❞

❝ maybe it’s better this way. ❞

❝ i wish i’d never met you. ❞

❝ you ruin my happiness. ❞

❝ i think we should see other people. ❞

❝ i’m not ready to settle down. ❞

❝ i want to love someone like you love me. ❞

❝ you can do anything you set your mind to, but you won’t. ❞

❝ stop crying. ❞

❝ don’t come back. ❞

❝ i’m not coming back. ❞

❝ i don’t care enough about you to hate you. ❞

❝ i feel like you’re dragging me down with you. ❞

❝ why don’t you smile anymore? ❞

❝ something happened today. ❞

❝ i don’t want to do this anymore. ❞

❝ stop letting it get to you. ❞

❝ i’m sorry. ❞

❝ i’m not sorry. ❞

❝ you’re not sorry. ❞

[diggory]

olive — juliet — artemis — euphemia.

[gvgvdans]

- ; phrases that really hit you where it hurts

“ did you really have to be that honest? ” “ every time i see you i just feel more alone. ” “ you changed me. ” “ was this all just a joke to you? ” “ i don’t want to know. ” “ can we start over? ” “ you make me feel so insecure. ” “ i don’t know if i can love you. ” “ every time i wake up i’m reaching for you … but you’re never there. ” “ of course it meant something! ” “ stop yelling! ” “ i gave up on you a long time ago. ” “ you think i care about you? cute. ” “ did you just forget about me or something? ” “ i still need you. ” “ i wanna say that there’s still hope but sometimes things just don’t go your way. ” “ you said you would keep trying! ” “ no, you ARE strong. ” “ you promised me! ” “ fine. you’ll never see me again, okay? ” “ i gave you everything i had. ” “ your eyes can be so cruel … ” “ i can never do anything right can i !? ” “ i want my life back. ” “ stop crying. ” “ you should go. ” “ don’t come back. ” “ does hurting me make you feel good or something? ” “ just stop it. ” “ i was never in love with you now leave me alone! ”

[diggory]

olive — juliet — artemis — euphemia. 

[diggory]

jimmy.

where – st mungo’s. who – @olivcs

It’s the day after.

Jimmy has not slept. It’s not like it’s the first time he’s gone a night without sleeping, sleep always having been a hard thing to come to, but it’s different this time. And it’s not like this is the first time Jimmy has been in a sticky situation and has gotten out of it, as his work is nothing but risk. It’s different, everything is fucking different when the enemy is not an institution, faceless, or a rich dude who’s easy to vilify but who you never really see.

He’s reeling from it. And on top of that, there is the worry about Olive Longbottom. Jimmy has never considered himself a hero, or even a good person, and yet. He’s done something that’s undoubtedly good, and he can’t let it go. Once the clock in the bottom of his laptop screen had hit 11:00, he’d pulled on his hoodie and left, a rare sense of duty motivating him. He’s standing in front of the door belonging to her ward, now, awkwardly fiddling with one of the strings of his hoodie. Hospitals make him feel stressed; they remind him of emergency rooms and sitting at Mundungus’ bed, head in hands, defeated and tired. Of flashing lights. Still, he opens the door, approaches the other’s bed. “Hey.” He’s silent a moment. “Hope it’s okay I stepped by, I er –– I wanted to see if you were okay.”

(...)

the last twenty-four hours seemed to have passed olive by in a blur. she had been able to reconnect with her family the night she was admitted to st. mungo’s — she had been to visit her father and her sisters plenty of times, more worried about them than herself. she knew that she would heal. she knew that she would be okay. her father, on the other hand, was a different story. and her sisters... merlin, her sisters. olive had been relieved to see that all three of them had made it out alive and (relatively) unscathed. though, try as hard as she might, she was unable to stop herself from worrying about the state that her father was in. the state that the death eaters had left him in. her mother had tried to reassure her and her other sisters, telling them everything was going to be alright. she wished she could believe her, but she knew better than to cloud her judgement with such wishful thinking. things would only get worse from here on out.

the sound of the door opening jerked olive away from her thoughts and back to reality. pulling the hospital’s blanket tighter against herself, she watched as jimmy walked into her room, a meek smile on her face.  “ that’s okay. ” her turn to be reassuring. “ i’m doing okay. better than the last time that you saw me, that’s for sure... ” she trailed off with a shrug. she was far from okay, but he didn’t need to know that. “ how about you? are you alright? ”

[holaitsliza]

And at night, tears replaced anger, making her feel lonelier than she really was.

L.R. excerpt from a book I’ll never write (via holaitsliza)

[luthienne]

[intimatum]

Camille Rankine, Emergency Management

[diggory]

dove.

Defacing their portraits was the least of the things Dove wanted to do to Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange. She wanted to see them pay for what they had done. Not by going to jail, as that had proven futile not once but twice, but by dying. Painfully, preferably. Part of her even thought that death was too merciful an end for them, and wished the see them lying in St Mungo’s, their minds completely ruined by pain. She wanted them to beg for death, and get a fate worse than it.

But even Dove had her limits. She doubted she would be able to act as viciously and cruelly as the Lestranges had, decades ago, but the thought still entered her mind every now and then. She was thinking of it now, as she used red paint to replace Rodolphus’ name with the term fascist murderer, before moving on to deface his face with childish doodles. A turd on top of his head, between the aforementioned devil horns. An ugly mustache ( inspired by Diomedes Avery’s ). Eyes that crossed outward. She’d drawn better things, but Rodolphus did not deserve her artistry. 

She took a step back to assess her and Olive’s work. “I think dear Bella would absolutely lose her mind at the image of that,” she said. Dove felt a certain sense of satisfaction, but still longed for more than just this. This felt like child’s play. A temporary solution “Well, even more than she already has.” Her eyes danced over the rest of the names. She wondered what some of these people would say, if they knew that two muggleborns bearing the name Longbottom stood among them. It brought her great glee. “How about the new and improved Rodolphus, then?”

“ well, i’m glad to hear that. ” truly, she was — dove was still her older sister, after all. no matter how many years passed and no matter how much distance there was between them (physically or emotionally), olive would always look up to her eldest sister. these days, olive often found herself thinking back to her childhood, back to a time where she hardly even knew the meaning of the word ‘war’. she wished that they could be those kids again, longing to be blissfully unaware of all of the horrors and atrocities happening around her, but there was no use in daydreaming anymore. if she wanted the order to win the war, to put an end to this once and for all, she realized that she would have to spend her time worrying about more important things than the death of her innocence. 

her eyes scanned over the tapestry once again, eventually landing on rodolphus lestrange’s (new and improved) face. she couldn’t help but laugh at the image, her sister had done a fantastic job. “ i think you’ve done him a service, to be honest with you, dove. he looks better than ever. ” she smiled as she shot a glance in her sister’s direction, glad that she had decided to tag along for once. “ i just wish we could do more... ” she trailed off, not bothering to explain herself, knowing that dove would understand what she was trying to say. 

[bob-belcher]

[midsommars-deactivated20201109]

Maine (2018) Directed by Matthew Brown

[primulaceas]

Alice Oseman, Radio Silence

[diggory]

tag drop !

「   𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦   ➝   𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚎   .   」

「   𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦   ➝   𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚊𝚐𝚎   .   」

「   𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦   ➝   𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚢   .   」

「   𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦   ➝   𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚜   .   」

「   𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦   ➝   𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍   .   」

「   𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦   ➝   𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚎   .   」

「   𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐦   ➝   𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗   .   」

[diggory]

♬ (juliet/diomedes, olive/dove)

juliet & diomedes: yellow by coldplay.

look at the stars look how they shine for you and everything you do.

[...]

your skin oh yeah, your skin and bones turn into something beautiful and you know for you i'd bleed myself dry for you i'd bleed myself dry.

olive & dove: war pigs by black sabbath. 

time will tell on their power minds, making war just for fun treating people just like pawns in chess, wait 'till their judgement day comes, yeah.

now in darkness world stops turning, ashes where the bodies burning no more war pigs have the power, hand of god has struck the hour day of judgement, god is calling on their knees the war pigs crawling, begging mercies for their sins satan, laughing, spreads his wings.

[diggory]

♬ (juliet about zelda)

angel of small death and the codeine scene by hozier.

i watch the work of my kin bold and boyful toying somewhere between love and abuse calling to join them the wretched and joyful shaking the wings of their terrible youths freshly dissolved in some frozen devotion.

glory and gore by lorde.

there's a humming in the restless summer air and we're slipping off the course that we prepared but in all chaos, there is calculation dropping glasses just to hear them break.

[...]

tired little laughs, gold lie promises, we'll always win at this, i don't ever think about death it's alright if you do, it's fine we gladiate but i guess we're really fighting ourselves roughing up our minds so we're ready when the kill time comes wide awake in bed, words in my brain, "secretly you love this, do you even wanna go free?"

[diggory]

♬ (olive about lydia)

we’re going home by vance joy. 

we're going home if we make it or we don't, we won't be alone when i see your light shine, i know i'm home if you're waiting all your life, you won't ever go.

[strvngemagics]

send me ♬ for a song that reminds my muse of yours.

[contrariian-archive]

HOZIER’S  “WASTELAND, BABY!” SENTENCE STARTERS

feel free to change pronouns, etc!

NINA CRIED POWER

‘ it’s not the waking, it’s the rising. ’ ‘ it is the grounding of a foot uncompromising. ’ ‘ it’s not forgoing of the lie, it’s not the opening of eyes. ’ ‘ it’s not the shade; we should be past it. it’s the light, and it’s the obstacle that casts it. ’ ‘ it’s the heat that drives the light. ’ ‘ it’s the heaven of a human spirit ringing. ’ ‘ and i could cry power. ’   ‘ it’s not the wall, but what’s behind it. ’ ‘ power has been cried by those stronger than me, straight into the face that tells you to rattle your chains if you love being free. ’

ALMOST (SWEET MUSIC)

‘ i came in from the outside, burned out from a joyride. ’ ‘ the same kind of music haunts her bedroom. ’ ‘ i’m almost me again. ’ ‘ i’m almost me again. she’s almost you. ’ ‘ i wouldn’t know where to start. ’ ‘ be still my foolish heart. ’ ‘ don’t ruin this on me. ’ ‘ let’s get lost and let the good times roll. ’ ‘ let’s smoke rings from this paper doll. ’ ‘ i got some color back. ’ ‘ i laugh like me again, she laughs like you. ’ ‘ the very thought of you, and i am blue. ’ ‘ i get along without you very well some other nights. ’

MOVEMENT

‘ i still watch you when you’re grooving. ’ ‘  you’re moving without moving. ’ ‘ when you move, i’m moved. ’ ‘ you are a call to motion. ’ ‘ when you move, i’m put to mind of all that i wanna be. ’ ‘ i could never define all that you are to me. ’ ‘ move me, baby. ’ ‘ you do it naturally. ’ ‘ honey, you’re atlas in his sleeping. ’ ‘ i recall something that’s gone from me. ’ ‘ when you move, i’m put in awe of something so flawed and free. ’

NO PLAN

‘ what a waste to say the heart could feel apart, or feel complete. ’ ‘ why would you make out of words a cage for your own bird, when it sings so sweet the screaming, heaving fuckery of the world? ’ ‘ why would you offer a name to the same old tired pain? ’ ‘ all things come from nothing. ’ ‘ my heart is thrilled by the still of your hand. ’ ‘ i know now that you understand. ’ ‘ there’s no plan. ’ ‘ there’s no race to be run. ’ ‘ the harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun. ’ ‘ there’s no kingdom to come. ’ ‘ i’ll be your man if you got love to get done. ’ ‘ sit in and watch the sunlight fade. ’ ‘ it’s getting late. ’ ‘ there’s no hand on the rein. ’ ‘ as mack explained, there will be darkness again. ’ ‘ let the awful song be heard. ’ ‘ i know your beat, baby. ’ ‘ your secret is safe with me. ’ ‘ if secrets were like seeds, keep my body from the fire, hire a gardener for my grave. ’ ‘ if secrets were like seeds, when i’m lying under marble, marvel at flowers you’ll have made. ’

NOBODY

‘ it’s gin o’clock. ’ ‘ i think about you everywhere i go. ’ ‘ i’ve done everything and i’ve been everywhere. ’ ‘ i’ve been fed gold by sweet fools. ’ ‘ i’ve had no love like your love from nobody. ’ ‘ i’d be appalled if i saw you ever try to be a saint. ’ ‘ i wouldn’t fall for someone i thought couldn’t misbehave. ’ ‘ i once warmed my hands over a burning maserati. ’ ‘ why should we deny the truth? ’ ‘ we could have less to worry about  —  i won’t lie to you. ’

TO NOISE MAKING (SING)

‘ remember when you’d sing just for the fuck of it? ’ ‘ the look of it was as sweet as the sound. ’ ‘ i couldn’t name that feeling carried in that voice  —  was it that, or just the act of making noise that brought you joy? ’ ‘ you don’t have to sing it right, but who could call you wrong? ’ ‘ put your emptiness to melody, your awful heart to song. ’ ‘ you don’t have to sing it right. ’ ‘ you don’t have to sing it right, but sing it strong. ’ ‘ at best, you’ll find a little remedy. ’ ‘ at worst, the world will sing along. ’ ‘ we’d scuff up our shoes. ’ ‘ you didn’t always sing it right. ’ ‘ who could ask you to be unbroken or be brave again? ’ ‘ be unbroken. ’ ‘ be brave again. ’ ‘ who could ask you to be sound or to feel saved again? ’ ‘ stick around until you hear that music play again. ’ ‘ so honey, sing. ’ ‘ sing. ’ ‘ remember when you’d sing just for the love of it? and any joy it would bring? ’

AS IT WAS 

‘ there is a roadway, muddy and foxgloved, whenever i’d have life enough, my heart is screaming of. ’ ‘ and in a few days, i would be there, love. ’ ‘ whatever here that’s left of me is yours. ’ ‘ the highs hit the heights of my baby, and its hold had the fight of my baby. ’ ‘ the lights were as bright as my baby, ’ ‘ your love was unmoved. ’   ‘ tell me if, somehow, some of it remains, how long you would wait for me. ’ ‘ make your good love known to me. ’ ‘ tell me about your day. ’ ‘ and the nights were as dark as my baby, and half as beautiful too. ’

SHRIKE

‘ i couldn’t utter my love when it counted. ’ ‘ i couldn’t utter my love when it counted, but i’m singing like a bird about it now. ’ ‘ i’m singing like a bird about it now. ’ ‘ i couldn’t whisper when you needed it shouted. ’ ‘ words hung above, but never would form  —  like a cry at the final breath that is drawn. ’ ‘ remember me. ’ ‘ remember me, love. ’ ‘ remember me, love, when i’m reborn as a shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn. ’ ‘ i’d no idea on what ground i was founded. ’ ‘ all of that goodness is going with you now. ’ ‘ then, when i met you, my virtues uncounted  —  all of my goodness is going with you now. ’ ‘ all of my goodness is going with you now. ’ ‘ dragging along, following your form, hung like the pelt of some prey you had won. ’ ‘ i’m hung like the pelt of some prey you had one. ’ ‘ remember me when i’m reborn as a shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn. ’ ‘ i fled to the city with so much discounted. ’ ‘ i fled to the city with so much discounted, but i’m flying like a bird to you now. ’ ‘ i’m flying like a bird to you now. ’ ‘ i’m flying like a bird to you now, back to the hedgerows where bodies are mounted. ’ ‘ i was housed by your warmth. ’ ‘ i was thus transformed by your grounded and giving and darkening scorn. ’

TALK

‘ i’d be the voice that urged orpheus when her body was found. i’d be the choiceless hope in grief that drove him underground. ’ ‘ i’d be the dreadful need in the devotee. ’ ‘ i’d be the immediate forgiveness in eurydice. ’ ‘ imagine being loved by me. ’ ‘ i won’t deny  —  i’ve got in my mind now all the things i would do. ’ ‘ i try to talk refined for fear that you find out how i’m imagining you. ’ ‘ i’d be the last shred of truth in the lost myth of true love. ’ ‘ i’d be the sweet feeling of release. ’

BE

‘ be as you’ve always been. ’ ‘ lover, be good to me. ’ ‘ be like the love that discovered the sin, that freed the first man and will do so again. ’ ‘ be that hopeful feeling when eden was lost. ’ ‘ it’s been deaf to our laughter since the master was crossed. ’ ‘ which side of the wall really suffers that cost? ’ ‘ be love in its disrepute. ’ ‘ love, in its disrepute, scorches the hillside and salts every root. ’ ‘ watch the slowing and starving of troops. ’ ‘ be like the rose that you hold in your hand, that will grow bold in a barren and desolate land. ’ ‘ love, won’t you be as you’ve always been? ’

DINNER & DIATRIBES

‘ this club here is stuck up. ’ ‘ i knew well from our first hookup the look of mischief in your eyes. ’ ‘ your friends are a fate that befell me. ’ ‘ hell is the talking type. ’ ‘ i’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’d do to me tonight. ’ ‘ that’s the kind of love i’ve been dreaming of. ’ ‘ honey, i laugh when it sinks in. ’ ‘ the evening is slowing. ’ ‘ the end is in sight. ’ ‘ it’s easier knowing what you’d do to me tonight. ’ ‘ let there be hotel complaints and grievances raised. ’ ‘ let there be damage ensued and tabloid news. ’

WOULD THAT I 

‘ i saw your hair like the branch of a tree  — a willow dancing on air before covering me. ’ ‘ that love in withdrawal was the weeping of me. ’ ‘ the sound of the saw must be known by the tree. ’ ‘ i fretted fire, but that was long ago. ’ ‘ i blink in sight of your blinding light. ’ ‘ it’s not tonight where you hold me tight. ’ ‘ you’re good to me. ’ ‘ with the roar of the fire, my heart rose to its feet. ’ ‘ like the ashes of ash, i saw rise in the heat. ’ ‘ i fell in love with the fire long ago. ’ ‘ with each love i cut loose, i was never the same. ’ ‘ i’m watching still-living roots be consumed by the flame. ’ ‘ i was fixed on your hand of gold laying waste to my loving long ago. ’ ‘ in awe, there i stood. ’ ‘ though i’ve handled the wood, i still worship the flame. ’ ‘ as long as the amber of ember glows, all the would that i’d loved is long ago. ’

SUNLIGHT 

‘ i would shun the light. ’ ‘ share in evening’s cool and quiet. ’ ‘ who would trade that hum of night for sunlight? ’ ‘ but whose heart would not take flight? ’ ‘ but whose heart would not take flight, betray the moon as acolyte, on first and fierce affirming sight of sunlight? ’ ‘ i’d been lost to you. ’ ‘ i flew like a moth to you. ’ ‘ oh, your love is sunlight. ’ ‘ all the tales the same, told before and told again. ’ ‘ a soul that’s born in cold and rain knows sunlight. ’ ‘ oh, my sunlight. ’ ‘ all that was shown to me, sunlight, was something foreknown to me. ’ ‘ all these colors fade for you only. ’ ‘ hold me. ’ ‘ carry me slowly. ’ ‘ each day, you’d rise with me. ’ ‘ know that i would gladly be the icarus to your certainty. ’ ‘ strap the wing to me. death trap-clad, happily, with wax melted, i’d meet the sea. ’

WASTELAND, BABY!

‘ all the fear and the fire of the end of the world happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl. happens great, happens sweet. ’ ‘ happily, i’m unfazed here, too. ’ ‘ wasteland baby, i’m in love with you. ’ ‘ baby, i’m in love with you. ’ ‘ all the things yet to come are the things that have passed: like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass. ’ ‘ i’m in love with you. ’ ‘ and i love too that love soon might end. ’ ‘ be still, my indelible friend. you are unbreaking. ’ ‘ you are unbreaking, though quaking. ’ ‘ that day that we watch the death of the sun; the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on. ’ ‘ you gaze unafraid as they sob from the city ruins. ’ ‘ the stench of the sea and the absence of green are the death of all things that are seen and unseen. ’ ‘ not an end, but the start of all things that are left to do. ’ ‘ that’s it. ’