[digitalbummer]

[screenshotsofdespair]

[digitalbummer]

It's disappointing to feel sad for no reason. Sadness can be almost pleasantly indulgent when you have a way to justify it - you can listen to sad music and imagine yourself as the protagonist in a dramatic movie. You can gaze out the window while you're crying and think "This is so sad. I can't even believe how sad this whole situation is. I bet even a reenactment of my sadness could bring an entire theater audience to tears." But my sadness didn't have a purpose.  Listening to sad music and imagining that my life was a movie just made me feel kind of weird because I couldn't really get behind the idea of a movie where the character is sad for no reason.

Essentially, I was being robbed of my right to feel self pity, which is the only redeeming part of sadness. And for a little bit, that was a good enough reason to pity myself.

I tried to force myself to not be sad.

But trying to use willpower to overcome the apathetic sort of sadness that accompanies depression is like a person with no arms trying to punch themselves until their hands grow back.  A fundamental component of the plan is missing and it isn't going to work.

Adventures in Depression

This is literally me. I dont even think its normal anymore and i think im cutting myself off from the world but i cant stop.

[vacants]

[opposingly-deactivated20200408]

[mayabot]

[digitalbummer]

To become spring means accepting the risk of winter 💔

[digitalbummer]

I wish i didnt exist

[digitalbummer]

Letter to Natalie Paley: “Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring means accepting the risk of winter.” —Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. This also reminds me of his book The Little Prince, the part where he made friends with the fox 🌕 Well i like it, i could relate to it in different ways. One of them is taking risks for a chance of happiness. We’re all afraid sometimes 👽

[digitalbummer]

I would give anything to not exist right now. To make it stop. To feel absolutely nothing but content. To be okay.

[digitalbummer]

It's nothing major, but I like this little ink on my rib :)

[digitalbummer]

I'm just nothing.

[orchids-and-butterflies]

[thewonderlily-blog]

[digitalbummer]

It's possible to be fascinated and terrified of something at the same time, right?

[digitalbummer]

My rib ink. Nothing major. Didn't put too much thought into it, just harmless fun. It hurt pretty bad getting it done and is still healing but I do want more ink though. The lightning looks kinda lonely there lols