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Moving Week

January 6th, 2019.

It's a new year! And right now I'm on a plane with Lin sleeping on my lap. It's really cold in here and I have a cold too, but she's keeping me warm. My wedding shirt is covering her as a sheet.

And here we are as husband and wife. Actually, we both agree we don't feel like a married couple, because it will really be a new life after we move. Our moving day is scheduled for this week, on the 10th. So, there are only four days to go.

After the marriage, we still had work to do. In fact, as already said, we had no honey moon. It only lasted a couple of days.

It's not bad, though. Not even a bit. I'm too excited and in hopes life's coming totally anew. God's been straightening things up. We, to be honest, are the ones in debt, because we haven't been going to church.

Maybe the things that have been making a difference are the training process we've gone through recently. They are all linked to Herbalife. Our focus has increased, along with my stress. I've spent a few weeks suffering from it. Lin and my mom have tried to ease it for me. I'm a lot better now.

I feel happy to know I'll soon be able to live with her in our house and we'll be able to work together with no family to butt it or annoy. She says I'll miss them. Well, I'll do it for us and them.

We had plenty of farewell events before the end of the year, but there doesn't seem to be enough of them. There will be a few more this week. This exact week.

Well, New Year's Eve was celebrated in my house with our family and I had my first speech as a family leader on Xmas. I have to grow into a real man. Herbalife gifts were spreaded out and we decided to buy the necessary amount of points to travel to SP for Super Meeting. It changed me deeply. She doesn't know if she feels the same, because she has a lot of questions.

I cant wait to provide my queen the royal life she deserves.

Last note: I forgot to mention I found a rose stuck on the car's wipers the day before our wedding. That was really weird. I still have no clue that can explain what happened.

Love always.

Nov. 7th

How about last incomplete post? Well, I didn't get the chance to finish it and, as the days go by, it's not worth it anymore. I still got to tell you about the cards! The thing I said I don't think you'll like it, but it's harmless.

Anyway, I'll start with my learnings from yesterday, which was basically a confirmation of some previous learnings. I am exactly where I have to be now and I do exactly what I'm supposed to do at this moment. Yesterday wasn't easy, because I was extremely tired, but I got the chance to realize that I still have so much to grow, I'm still full of stubbornness. Nonetheless, I think the first step was taken because now I can realize it's manifestation (or at least, part of it...) Yesterday something interesting happened. One student of mine had made a small mess and, after he left, I watched it a couple of times, while missing the courage to clean it. But, when my student from the following class arrived, she didn't think twice and cleaned his mess as soon as she got into the room. It made me ashamed and also made me realize that what I've set aside to give is still get from being my best and that I've missed opportunities to be better not only to people but also, and most importantly, to you. Just now, you invited me to visit someone with you and I didn't want to because I have other plans for tomorrow morning, which includes waking up a little later and going to the gym. I get confused because, when I think about it, I also think that I almost never have the opportunity to sleep a little more and wonder if you will have some time to sleep in the afternoon or on Saturday morning. Sometimes I think I'm too selfish.

Nov. 6th

Good night! It's 9:49 p.m. and is like to share with you things that I learned today. Also, I'd like to tell something that happens yesterday and, although I think you might not like it, it's something I should share.

Today I started the day with this meditation of gratitude that invited me to be grateful for the simple things that happen to me. I could remember situations I felt grateful for, but I didn't realize that's what I felt at the time and I was happy because I realized I have so many things to be grateful for and also amazing people that only want to see me well. So, this was my first lesson of the day: gratitude for the simplest things that people do and that happen to us. The second lesson, I believe, is how God finds ways to work magic in our minds if we believe in Him and in it. I remembered of last Saturday when I was wandering how I would get home and Mom called me asking if I wanted a ride because that was her intuition. Today I overslept after lunch and was leaving home in a hurry at around 1:10 exactly at the same time Heitor essa arriving and offered me a ride. I was so grateful to him, to God because things were better than expected! Today I learned one more definition for faith: it's when everything is tumbling down but you don't fall. Beautiful, isn't it? I also read a text I had read before about ways to neutralize it ego. It's interesting because it invites me to pay attention to my thoughts and realize that when I feel I'm better than someone else, or try to be, when I start a long talk in my mind about what should be said to other people in certain circumstances, or even when I feel angry when I think people who don't understand my routine it what I do try to tell me what to do. It's pure ego and all it brings us suffering because it's centered on what people will think of me and not on being me freely. The suggestion the text have me was to just pay attention and detach the behavior from myself or my feelings. It's to remember it's a manifestation of ego and be aware of it. Ego is also what gives us the feeling we can control the future and should worry about things we can control, living not a present life. A mantra I learned was "I breath in here and breath out now." (I don't believe it makes as much sense as it does in Portuguese; maybe it's the poor translation...) Another insight I had today (have I had it before?) is that even though I thought the school was a place that made me stray from my focus on learning more about life and spirituality, maybe it's exactly where I should be to practice it, because it's not the place itself that makes us better or not, it's the intention.

Plans for tomorrow:

Morning

-meditation

- getting ready to go to school

Afternoon

- correct some exercises on my way to ccaa

- ask students from teen 1, teen 3, teen 7 and also my students if they're interested in

Nov. 05th

Hello,

It`s 10:08p.m. right now and I feel extremely tired. Nonetheless, I`ve been thinking that I should have a routine of writing because I belive it`ll help me fulfill one of my purposes in life that`s got to do with word. It`s prettey much a Gemini purpose that is all about spreading knowledge, presenting others with things I`ve learned every day... Sometimes I feel something like laziness, a feeling of not wanting to write, although I do like it! Sometimes I feel it’s a process which has got to do with other things than joy, like the unknown - when I realize sometimes I didn’t know I knew something or that I had something inside of me that I had no idea. I think writing takes some of the veils from my eyes and I’m a bit frightened by what I might find out. Anyway, here I go again, trying to have a routine of writing despite my own routine. Once I found on the internet something called “productivity sheet”, actually planned by Geronimo Thelm, a coach/youtuber whose videos I come to find quite interesting. This productivity sheet is going to be a model for the things I’m going to write here, since it’s straightforward and covers the most important aspects of my day. 1. Focus of the day: Having a productive day and reduce the sensation of being starting a lot of different things but ending none.

2. Priorities: - Being able to do at leat 2 things related to the coorditation of CCAA: prepare the envelopes for the Spanish test, which is going to be on Thursday and find a teacher for a VIP student; - Giving my best in the classes of the day; - Doing one thing at a time (specially eating); - Correcting some exercises (not done) - Posting something on our Herbalife page on Instagram (not done)

3. Things I should avoid: - Being distracetd with other things that can wait; - Being lazy

4. How was my day? 8

5. Things I’m grateful for: - I’m grateful for having Aurelio every day with me giving his best to make things work the best way; - I’m grateful for being a better person than yesterday, for I learn something new every single day; - I’m grateful for my life, for the courage I’ve had to chenge its course, becoming a co-creator of it; - I’m grateful for may health; - I’m grateful for my guidness - the human and non-human beings that work with me making life a work of art.

6. What did I learn today? Today I learned that to be a little less snowed under I should see the importance of each thing to my life and see the things that ca wait a little. Today I remembered that knowledge grows when it’s shared. Today I learned that there is a path to meditation that is between being awake and being asleep. That’s when I give up resisting, but am still conscious. Today I learned that an Herbilife flan might not be as delicious as a chocolate cake but might work as a substitute sometimes.Today I learned that when I’m in uncomfortable situation, my body tells on me, even though my voice doesn’t ans I don’t know how to fix it. I realized today that I love to dance (even though I didn’t dance today) and I miss it a lot. Today I wondered if I could just share photos/text with people without rewriting it from my perspective. It sounded like a lazy idea of someone who’s afraid to leave her comfort zone. Today I learned that when a gymnast opens her legs from side to side of her body, it’s called “do the splits” and yhat we can ask a person “can you please wait on the line?” on a phone conversation. I learned that we have to be a link in a chain of happiness, shining happiness and making people choosing to be happy as well - pretty much a Herbalife work... Plus, it’s not a job that’s done alone. Today I learned that freedom is something that scares us, because it’s the unknown and we have no idea of what to do with it. Today I learned that what we see in other people is usually the first thing we see in ourselves. Today I learned that when I sing, I can see my true self. FOR TOMORROW: Focus: 1. Doing one thing at a time 2. Being organized

To do: Morning: 1. Meditation 2. Going to the gym 3. Buying candy for my students 4. Write a meditation (in portuguese - because it’s a translation) on this page 5. Post some stories on Instagram 6. Correcting my students’ exercises 7. Preparing the classes at school 8. Printing the page on which we write each student’s points *Calling a teacher at 11:00

Afternoon 1. Setting an alarm to go from class to class telling people about our vacation course 2. Setting all of the make-up clases on student needs 3. Organizing a folder with the tests of the students that are going to take the 2nd call (including what they must show on the day)

Evening: 1. Giving my best in my classes 2. Write here when I get home I don’t know what here will be useful to you, but this is honestly what I have in mind and my plans. Love always, Lin

Human

Today I feel I long to see your humanity

The humanity that makes me wanna hold you

And wish you well

The same humanity that keeps us together on this sacred journey

And makes me wanna share

And makes me want your growth

And makes me understand we only grow together

Information shouldn't be stored in ourselves in order to make us feel better than others

And it's the humanity I want to be close to

I want to be the very best of me

So I can be the best for you

I want to touch you, so I can bless your humanity

I wanna hug you, so I can connect to your humanity

I want to say words that will make you feel special

And help you find purpose in life

I wish you a humanity filled with purpose

I still struggle to see what's behind your mask

I struggle to see your needs and aspirations

And I must confess I struggle to see the human living within you

But I feel your thoughts through your words

And use mine too reach you

I try hard to be an expression of the Devine energy in my thoughts, words, feelings and actions

So maybe, as a stroke of luck, I can touch a spark of the endless source of light

Housed within your humanity.

It's about me

I'd like you

To stop for a while

And be grateful for everything you have

For gratitude is the key to your own success

So is patience.

Give it time.

So the universe will be able to work it's magic on you.

Trust the wisdom of the universe

Trust you're supported.

Trust and float toward your own destiny.

Let go of your needs to control

And surrender to the heavenly miraculous plans.

Remember that changes take time

Like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly

Let go of your urges and your needs to control

Let go of that feeling that, if you're not moving forward, you're failing

Trust

And be patient

And, while you enjoy the ride, be grateful for all the amazing gifts you've received

And remember to put them in service of others

For they weren't given for your own benefit

And keep your lessons

and your best intentions

Safely guarded at heart

Sex

I felt I didn't want to write about this morning, because, somehow, it was an experience of pain. I don't know why sex affects me that much. But I decide not to probe it. I just accept that pain is something that goes and eventually comes back, just like does pleasure. And when I told you about it, although it was really difficult for me, you acted like it was of simple solution, being solved just by conveying it. And that's why I decided it's not going to be a post of pain, but a post of gratitude, instead. I'd like to thank you this time foi understanding me, even when you truly don't. And for holding me when you feel I need. And maybe for not giving much importance to things I think are huge, preventing me to turn them into monsters. Thanks for loving me and being there for me even when what you truly want might be something else.

I guess this is it.

Thank you very much!

Love u!

Since you didn't post it, I did!

It's so amazing to get such a declaration out of nowhere in the evening of a Wednesday, that I had to post it! Plus, it's the version of me I really want to be!

You've changed. A lot. You've been showing me the much you love me more and more, you are focused on gathering different opinions from many people all around the world, you have started to discuss new things, you have been making life-changing decisions, you seem to be a new person. I'm still getting to know this new Aline better. And I've never known your english was so good... Take your time to write more and more. I guess you can imagine how happy it makes me. Our blog is close to its 3rd anniversary. Our love's getting more mature. I love you so much (and your butt, of course).

Thank you so much for this amazing gift!

Love you so much!

Love

You've just said that by being far from your family, you'd get rid of three of your problems, namely the closeness to your mom, your dad and your grandma. And, as I said when I left the car, I don't think you understand what I say, but here I go anyway...

I lived 29 years not accessing the deep love and gratitude for having a mother like mine. I knew I loved her, cared for her, but I didn't access it as a feeling. And, when it came, I found out there was so much gratitude buried in my bones. I think we don't feel it, because we have the illusion they'll always be around. I don't want you to find that out when it's too late...

I've recently started to think it's not about us. Our lives is not about our point of view, our opinion, our things. We've been so attached to this self that we're always thinking about how other people's attitudes affect us. But here's the thing. They do affect us, but people don't always mean to affect us. It was like today when I asked you not to go to the mall because I wouldn't be around. It was me clinging to an old pattern I've been trying to get rid of. That's when I remembered: it's not about me! When you decide to go to the mall, it's for your own enjoyment, curiosity, it's not meant to affect me. And, even if it does, I have to acknowledge I'm just one part of us, which is the one I listen to most of the times, but this part should never refrain you from doing something you really want, because it about us, not me!

So, maybe, when your mom asks you to take things up and down, you might think "she never leaves me alone." But, whether you have that thought, please, remember: is not about you. It's not about annoying you or thinking you're lazy. It's about her and her own effort to cope with, or maybe disguise the holes she has inside. Maybe, it's the way she's found not to feel useless it to feel she's been building something toward the future. When she asks you to do that, remember it might not be easy to be in her skin. And pray for her happiness and ask God to care for her and help her find her way, for she's so desperate to find it, failing to see what's right under her nose. Feel gratitude for her constant thinking of ways to make your life better and easier. Remember she fails to see it's not about her either and ends up overlooking your own discomfort. But it's still not about you. I'd suggest that you give these words some thought and, whenever you think about your closeness to get as a burden, pray for her, ask God to shower her with all his love. Bless her. Even if you don't really feel it sometimes, make it a habit. And do the same for your father and grandma. Feel gratitude for them bringing and raising you into this world. Feel grateful for their immense love and dedication and also be understanding when you see failure. It's about them failing in being their best. But, again, it's not about you. Let go of all your own impressions on how their flaws affect you and you might find out it's much more about dedication and love and blindness, sometimes.

Yesterday, I watched a very touching TED video and the guy said love is all about being with, spending time with. And, yeah, I think maybe it's the bottom line. We'll be gone soon. Use this time you have left to be with them accepting them, not judging. I know it might annoying you sometimes, but please, please, remember: it's not about you.

Trying to be no one special

I just finished reading for the second time the article you thought wasn't well-translated, but this second reading was it's version in English. And it talked about being special, not in the sense of realizing our good qualities, but about our constant need of focusing on ourselves, our appearance, our needs. And it might be one of the reasons I keep asking myself to start looking at the situations and people with "not my eyes", I keep telling myself "get out of your own head and watch it again", and maybe I'm able to realize that something I thought was foolish was actually important for someone else. I think if my students had this feeling of not being inside their heads all the time, they would stop trying to take advantage of the things if it meant hurting others. I think people would stop cutting others in traffic because they're in a hurry. And people would not push others on the bus just to grab a seat. And my boss would be more empathetic because it's not about him and his company - any of those is special. And I wouldn't neg about some things when I feel I have to because I know it might hurt you. And I'd help more, because it's not about me giving up things I had planned or physical discomfort. It's the ultimate compassion. We're part of something much bigger and it's not about us, or ego, or pain. When we feel we're not special or not one in special, were able to get out of our own minds and be free to just be. I know that, by living, in our insides every moment of our day, we won't be able to get 100% free of our own view of things, but it's a practice of learning to be, of looking outside and remembering it's not about us.

Genuine happiness

And here I go again! Far back square one. My answer is "I don't know!" Yesterday's meditation led me to answer this question: "what is your idea of genuine happiness?" And I did try to picture something clear in my mind, but "I don't know" was the only secure answer I was able to give. And have been thinking about it since then. I've got few glimpses of what it might be. And it includes living somewhere else and maybe other places until I find one I can really stay. It involves simplicity, generosity, gratitude, compassion, calmness, writing, being better to the world, finding a mission and meaning in life. But that's all I've got. I feel I'm tired of working so hard and not having enough quality time to sleep, to read, to learn about the self. It's as if, at this point of my life, my job is a burden that makes me stray daily from the path I want to pursue. Today I heard a sports coach saying that, when he helps people deal better with exercises, working out their minds and bodies, he feels better too. And that's a work full of purpose. Shouldn't I feel the same since I'm a teacher? Shouldn't I say that when my students learn, it makes me happy and satisfied? Well, it sure does, but why don't I feel deep in my heart that what I'm doing, or, at least, the way I'm doing it, doesn't overflow me? Actually, yesterday I was absolutely satisfied for being able to teach Andre for free. It really made my day! I almost cancelled the appointment, but I'm absolutely happy I didn't. I'm deeply thankful for that! Maybe I'm not so far from square one after all, but hope I can get a clearer image of the path I want to follow.

To someone I wish all the happiness in the world

I've heard you're going to be a mother

And I wish you all the happiness in the world

I wish you can teach your kid your most amazing qualities

I wish you can teach it to be happy and free

You're highest gifts, I think.

I wish you can also teach it about friendship

And emotional responsibility

For, I guess, you've learned it from your own mistakes

And also from your own skills of conserving good old friends

I'd like to tell you at this moment

That I wish you all the happiness in the world

As a mother, as a wife, as a friend,

As a person

Hope you've found meaning in your life

And, aside from the dreams you've already fulfilled, you have new ones

And conquer them

I wish you can find joy in your everyday routine

And keep making life your own work of art

I wish you all the happiness

For I know that, if you are happy, a big of me will be too.

Tuesday

Good morning!

I don't know much what to say for this day. I'm really grateful for being given it and I'd like to have an extraordinary one, but I don't really know what it means. I know it's a desire of the mind whereas it'll only be conquered when it becomes a desire of the heart. Today I watched a Ted video in which the speaker asked us how we feel about the way we spend our time each day. I can say I've been dealing with it a lot better than I used to, because I've been using it for studying, learning and getting to know myself a little better and I feel really grateful for that. Anyway I still search a way of having an extraordinary day every single day. And I know the answer can be always found by looking at and listening to the inside. In the video, the man talked about measuring the intangible, measuring happiness. It's interesting to start believing it's possible to count how happy (and not productive) my day was and how happy (and not productive) it could be. What I can say so far is that trust is paramount. And, yet, it's something I've still got to find.

Friday - New Goals!

For this day I wish I have peace in my heart That I can come back to earth and heart When the noise pulls me away from it Especially the noise I create myself Which is the hardest one to silent. Ask my brain to cooperate with my heart And don’t probe old problems or past sad situations in order to find an explanation for them I ask my brain to let go and move on to align with my wishes and stop repeating unnecessary thoughts Hope I have an extraordinary day Which means a day of learning A day of peace of mind And, at the same time, high body energy Ask God to bless me to guide me to protect me and teach me

15/08/2018

Today I woke up scared. I had to go back to school after a month strike. And it felt warm and comfortable not being around the noise, the violence, the name-calling. I even dreamt with students throwing chairs last night. I knew I didn’t want to go back, but I hadn’t realized how terrified I was. I think I’ve had so much progress in these mornings staying at home that I thought going back to school would swipe it away from me. That it would slow my progress because I would have to spend much more time doing things and less thinking about them, watching videos, meditating, exercising... But watching a TED talk on the subway on my way to the dentist, I undertood that happiness doesn’t depend on our exterior, but only on our interior. It means I can be happy, I can feel I’m happy even at a place that’s not much favorable. And now I realize it’s the next level.I commit now to being happy everywhere, including at school. But don’t panic! It doesn’t mean I want to do this forever,It doesn’t mean I’ll let go of all of our plans and decide that staying where we are now is good enough. It means I don’t need to wait until next year to be happy. And neither should you. We have to use these last months here to practice being happy wherever we go no matter its difficulties. It means the hard work (at least for me) making mind bow to heart and choosing happiness other than anything else should start now.

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