Oh, Blog Off...

[harpertheidiot]

I saw a post like this recently so I'm making a classics version

Spin the wheel. This Greek mythological figure is trying to kill you

Spin the wheel again. This Greek mythological figure is trying to protect you

Are you surviving?

100% no, my corpse is desecrated

100% no, but I am given a proper burial

Yes, but with major injuries

Yes, but with minor injuries

100% yes, not a scratch on me

Other (explain in tags)

Remaining time: 1 day 23 hours

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[lastoneout]

At some point in your life you'll be making congee and the recipe will tell you to cook it for a specific amount of time, and when that timer goes off you'll think "it's far too watery, maybe I should add some corn starch or just let it cook for five or ten minutes longer" but this is the devil speaking. It's that watery now because it's hot. It will firm up a bit when it cools off, and then even more if you put it in the fridge, and even more if you used stock instead of just water. If you cook it too much longer or add a thickener you're gonna be eating rice jello instead of porridge.

Trust the recipe. Learn from my mistakes.

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

nip over to troy, bit of rough and tumble, big horse, bish bash bosh, back home to ithaca. simple as

[diracpointless]

Baba takes great joy in destruction. Which I assume is a normal phase for an almost one year old.

It makes many of her books very funny to read. She has ripped out most of the pop-up bits so the story is just talking about stuff that isn't there anymore.

In the light of the moon a little egg lay on a leaf. Except there is no egg and there is no leaf and the moon is on a serious wane.

[special-lucky-chosen-one]

me as a kid reading Dune: I appreciate the detailed world-building that justifies why everyone fights with swords and has mental powers, but the idea of a Butlerian Jihad against computers is pretty silly

me in 2025, trying desperately to find the three (3) places you need to go to to disable the latest helpful AI assistant that's inserted itself into my work chat and is advising me to do things that would be a breach of federal law: Oh Now I Get It

[mikkeneko]

I always thought the spec fic religious prohibitions against AI were overblown, but now I am coming to appreciate that this is just the level of social oomph you need to have behind a such a prohibition for it to even have a chance of actually being effective

[unadulteratedhideouttrash]

[canthaveshitingotham-crucified]

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

[canthaveshitingotham-crucified]

you get it. you get the themes. i dont have time to do it justice. just look at it its on the ceiling

[brenna]

[teaboot]

[wheresmyphonemp3]

[fadingponycookiedream]

[andsorrowsend]

[werefeathers]

[diracpointless]

When you have a small child, of any gender, people, who you may have previously thought were reasonable and intelligent, will start to spout the most gender essentiallist bullshit right at your face.

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

just once I want to see a good post critiquing makeup culture that doesn’t turn out to be made by some janky radfem blog

oh hey!! I’m not a janky radfem I can do it myself!

makeup culture is wack and normalizes a ludicrously high bar as the bare minimum women can do. I saw a “lazy"makeup tutorial the other day that listed 22 separate goddamn products. you’re supposed to buy and know how to use 22 different things on your face just for the privilege of being considered lazy and that’s uuuuuuh what’s the word? bullshit.

Really, five products could work, even 3. Just frame the face, eyes, lips, and you’re done.

0 products also works great

because I’m gonna be real here, the idea that 22 products is a minimum sucks but it’s really upsetting that any amount of makeup is the bare minimum at all

I would really just suggest some powder foundation, concealer, mascara and lipgloss/lipstick, or tbh just mascara works too, but that’s up to you

I’m sorry if I didn’t express this clearly enough in the original post but I’m not really looking for more concise makeup regiments. my intention was to point out how it’s Bad that makeup is considered a bare minimum at all, regardless of individual feelings on the matter

no face should be “required” to have “a minimum” of makeup. makeup has no health benefits and does nothing but fill the pockets of companies that prey on women and our insecurities.

makeup should not be seen as hygiene because it isnt. get that shit out of your head.

this post: makeup culture is ridiculous and 22 products should not be considered a minimum requirement for someones face. no one should have to do that

the notes: so like……. what youre saying is……. we need to make the minimum about 5 or 6 instead… i gotcha

Really the only makeup you need is eyeliner but that’s just my personal opinion

okay

where did we lose you

why are people like this

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

#nobody survived this post

[official-graveyard-posts]

Official graveyard post

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

stop telling people I’m dead

[transhuman-priestess]

Sometimes I feel like op is still with us…

[lincoln-still-sucks]

Hugh Laurie being casted in American shows: he is strong, stoic, sad and sophisticated. rugged, several other synonyms that mean sexy older man that is also deeply troubled. a total cliché but he’s not like super hot so we collectively excuse it

Hugh Laurie in English shows: look at this fucking idiot, this buffoon, a fool with a heart of gold, but do not forget that he is a bumbling fucking idiot that can’t function without the presence of Stephen Fry. look at this stupid idiot getting hurt haha laugh at Hugh Laurie: the village idiot

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

it’s actually wild how terrified of the general public most usamericans are. like you don’t realize it if you’re someone who mostly walks and takes transit and spends a lot of time in populous public spaces but then you talk to one of the thousands of people that seemingly never set foot in any public space besides a parking garage or a starbucks and you suddenly understand why it’s so easy for fascist rhetoric about the dangerous alien to take root. this country’s median voter pretty much never interacts with strangers who aren’t their coworkers or people they met on dating apps

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

saw a post on instagram that was literally someone citing statistics saying public transit is one of the safest travel options out there and the comments were literally just “ummmmm op this is so ableist and misogynistic of you :) don’t you know the average public transit user is a dangerous violent criminal who wants to set you on fire :)))”

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

it must be so terrifying and sad to go through life convinced if you set foot outside your car in public or interact with people outside your nuclear family you’ll instantly be raped and robbed by the Evil Poors no wonder so many of these people are reactionary tar pits

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

important points which I did not address but should be appended ☝️☝️☝️☝️

[gerardwayspostcocaineweightgain]

ITT:

- people giving their life story to explain why they have a special secret valid trauma reason to be a reactionary tar pit

- white true crime women assuming I don’t know what it’s like to fear rape

- fascists calling me a euroslave

- cybersmith, for some reason

[pennielane]

Julie Andrews burns the President of Warner Brothers during her Best Actress acceptance speech for Mary Poppins at the 1965 Golden Globes Perhaps one of the biggest scandals of Golden Age Hollywood was the decision by Jack Warner, president of Warner Brothers, to cast Audrey Hepburn as Eliza Doolittle in the movie adaptation of My Fair Lady instead of Julie Andrews. Julie originated the role of Eliza on Broadway and in London - which has been heralded as one of the most difficult Broadway characters of all time - for three straight years, stunning audiences around the world. To provide some modern perspective, My Fair Lady was the Hamilton of its time, selling millions of copies of the Broadway recording in a matter of months, every single Broadway and London show sold-out for its entire record-breaking run. To everyone at the time, Julie was Eliza Doolittle, so to see her passed up for the movie adaptaion sent shockwaves through Hollywood. However, because Jack passed on Julie for the role, Walt Disney was able to cast her in Mary Poppins, for which she won both a Golden Globe and an Oscar. Julie stated of the Golden Globes night: “I suddenly realized that if Jack Warner had asked me to do My Fair Lady, which I missed out on, I would never have been able to do Mary Poppins.” Her dig - deft, quick, and spoken in her classically sweet nature - took enormous courage, delivering it to the most powerful man in Hollywood in front of all his peers. A member of the audience stated: “Everybody screamed. It was like a thunderous scream, everyone was laughing [including Jack Warner, pictured above]. That was her little sweet revenge.”

[mygreatadventurehasbegun]

@broadwaydivastournament

[avelera]

Groundhog Day (1993) - Impressions, praise, and what fanfics writers can learn about writing time-loops from the OG time-loop film

Last night, I rewatched the "original" time-loop film, Groundhog Day (1993), and I couldn't help but admire the writing.

Though time loops have become a stock trope, especially in fanfic, there's a reason "Groundhog Day" is widely credited with launching the popularity of the trope in the first place because it is fun, fresh, and (at the time) original.

Yet while Groundhog Day is often credited as the inspiration for time-loop stories both silly and serious (like Supernatural's "Mystery Spot" episode, or Tom Cruise's "Edge of Tomorrow") when going back to the original, I noticed a few of its best beats are very rarely replicated in subsequent inspired works, and that's a bit of a shame, because a lot of those beats are what made the time loop story so fresh in the first place.

Things like:

The "Fuck Around" Stage

After discovering he's stuck in a time loop, Bill Murray's character Phil does something I have rarely seen any other subsequent time loop story doing - he fucks around and has fun with it.

Most subsequent time loop stories revolving around a single repeated day without consequence immediately treat the character's situation as a tragedy, or at least a problem to be solved. But the original Groundhog Day (which is admittedly a comedy) allows Phil to recognize the implications and enjoy them before the full cosmic horror of his situation sets in.

He goes and gets drunk without consequence. He messes with the local cops. He dedicates a few cycles to sleeping with a pretty woman in town, in a morally reprehensible but character-revealing way (Phil is a morally reprehensible asshole when we meet him, that is core to his character and the arc his character needs to presumably overcome).

This beat is important from a writing standpoint because during the "fuck around" stage we learn so much about who Phil is as a character. When stripped of any sort of consequence, how does this man behave?

I think the reason most subsequent time loop stories, especially in fanfic, skip this really important step in the time loop story, namely, "What does the character do once they realize there are in fact no consequence to their actions?" is because most fanfic assumes we already know the character. It feels like a waste of time to show us who they are when no one is watching and there are no consequences.

But skipping the "fuck around" stage loses the writer and the audience out on a lot of potentially fun moments, like the chance to see the character get rascally drunk, or eat their own weight in cake, or try and spectacularly fail at flirting with their crush a few times before they get it right. And these are great character-revealing moments!

I think the other reason subsequent time loop stories like, say, "Edge of Tomorrow" for original fiction, skip this stage is that they're too busy driving to the plot. The world needs to be saved, we don't have time to see the character try and fail to do anything but solve the plot. But what characters do when they're not solving the plot reveals who they are, it's what makes us care about them and relate to them as more than just machines designed for navigating the plot.

Fanfic is especially guilty of this because of how many jump immediately to, "How do I break this nightmarish time loop??" which again is solving the plot. But a real person probably wouldn't jump straight to, "Oh god, my life has become a horror story!" you probably would fuck around at least a little bit before locking in to solve The Plot and go back to normal life and its consequences, like hangovers, and jobs you have to show up for, and needing to eat healthy again. An important element of enjoyment and fun for the audience is inherent in the "fuck around" beat of the time loop story that Groundhog Day nailed so expertly and that so many derivative works skipped or ignored.

Phil is allowed to be smart

Not only is Phil allowed to fuck around, which shows us who he is (an asshole), but Phil is allowed to be smart about the time loop! This is in contrast with many, if not most time loops I've seen derived from this work since.

It only takes Phil one loop to figure out that he's in a time loop, despite just being a normal guy! This is in contrast to how many time-loop stories require multiple loops before the character will admit to their circumstance!

Yet this otherwise normal guy in the original story, who has no other known media to point to as how he figured it out even within the story (unlike say Dean in Mystery Spot) figures it out right away and does so with a pretty ingenious test of putting a broken pencil next to his alarm clock. Once he sees the pencil is magically mended the next day, he doesn't mess around with doubts any longer. He knows what's going on and accepts it, including accepting that it's not an elaborate trick.

Numerous derivative works waste an insane amount of time getting the POV character to admit what's happening to them and come to terms with it. It was astonishing to me that Groundhog Day wasted so little time on this. And it actually felt more realistic! Because of the depth of the world we're shown in the film, it quickly becomes obvious to any thinking human being that it would be impossible to repeat the day so perfectly, and it only take a couple conversations for Phil to dismiss the idea that this is an elaborate hoax. He accepts his circumstances and comes to terms with them in a remarkably short time which was ironically refreshing for the trope given that it's one of the original instances of the trope!

And by the way, speaking of refreshing takes on the trope despite the fact this is one of the first famous uses of it?

No Cause of the Time Loop is EVER Introduced - Which means no solution is handed to the character, either

The original Groundhog Day (bucking the trends of many a racist 90's flick it must be said) doesn't introduce a magical foreigner, or judgmental demigod, a prophetic fortune cookie, or any other reason why this is happening to Phil! No reason is ever given at all.

We, the audience, can guess that Phil is trapped in this loop as some sort of divine punishment for being such an asshole, but it's never confirmed! No one on-screen or off-screen ever winks at the audience or at Phil and tells him how to solve his predicament.

As a result, Phil is entirely alone within the time loop. He has no guidance on how to get out and, by the way, never voices that he thinks there's something he needs to do or solve before he gets out!

He somewhat intuits it, I would argue, and maybe off-handedly mutters about it, but it's not dwelt on. Certainly there are loops that show but don't tell that he tries "getting the loop right" to solve it, or helping people, or having the perfect date, or saving everyone in town. But he never really stops and looks at the camera and voices the idea that he thinks he needs to solve his way out of this aloud, it's not really brought up as an avenue of resolving the plot, we just see the result of his actions (a great example of show-don't-tell by the way).

Which leads to the other thing that impressed me about the film from a time-loop trope perspective:

Getting the first loop "right" doesn't free Phil - and we never find out what actually freed him!

Going on that first "perfect" date with Rita, while selfishly motivated, doesn't break him out of the loop, even when there's a pause as if to imply he expects that. Saving all the people he can in town doesn't stop the loop. Learning to play the piano, or care about others, or stop being such a raging asshole doesn't free him from the loop. Killing himself over and over in a variety of increasingly unhinged ways doesn't break the loop.

At every beat when we are shown what could be the loop breaking, we are instead shown it not breaking. To the point where we, like Phil, are pretty much lulled into a sense that it will never break.

And by the time Phil does break the loop in the final scene, he's done so many things differently from the person he was at the start that we don't really know what broke him out!

Presumably, finally having a truly selfless night with Rita does it, but it could be learning how to be a good man in the town, it could be finally truly learning to care about someone other than himself.

But the narrative doesn't tell us! It's left to our interpretation, which I would argue is far more clever but much more fiendishly difficult to write than a simple "If this, then that" time-loop plot where a character is meant to learn a single cosmic lesson and check all the boxes before they can be set free again, usually in fanfic by saving their significant other, learning to let them go, or otherwise mending some sort of interpersonal relationship.

Groundhog Day really doesn't get enough credit for not only launching the time-loop trope in the popular zeitgeist but also to this day having one of the most clever and intricate takes on the trope and indeed, most subsequent derivations are weaker because they miss out on just sticking to beats that the original story included. I would definitely recommend at least one watch of this classic for anyone flirting with the idea of writing their own time-loop.

[milkcastro]

And what if rap WAS only about sex, violence, and drugs... what then? Would you be justified in looking down upon it as not being "real" art? What would your justification be? Sex is immoral and taboo? Drugs should never be mentioned outside of D.A.R.E programs? Songs about violence turn children to it? Would you turn that standard to other genres as well? I know you wouldn't, I know you haven't, because it's never really been about the topics explored.

[11thfempachi]

rap is often about politics and punk is often about sex and drugs but tumblr users wouldn't know because they listen to neither

[beekeeperspicnic]

My comic from @very-sincerely-yours-zine !

This was a lovely little thing to hop into after finishing last Summer after The Beekeeper's Picnic.

I spent a while debating whether Mycroft Holmes is a jam first or a cream first kind of scone eater.

[diracpointless]

Some categories of Belle & Sebastian songs I've noticed in 20 years of listening.

Inventing Manic Pixie Dream Girls

Sad Songs (Sounds Happy)

Sad Songs (Sounds Sad)

Velvet Underground Rip-Off Homage

Train Songs (Songs that chug along with no discernable verse or chorus AND songs that mention trains)

Sountrack/Score To An Indie Movie

[millenianthemums]

idc what anyone says, monsters motivated by love are a thousand times scarier than any other kind. hive minds that subsume all life out of a genuine belief that everyone will be happier that way. aliens that subjugate humanity out of a colonizer mindset of “helping” a primitive species. things that mutate bodies and minds out of a desire to “fix” or “cure” them. undead creatures that want to spread the curse to their loved ones so they also never have to die.

monsters that treat their victims like scared family pets that don’t want their medicine. monsters that think they know best. monsters that wield the corrupting, devastating, horrifying power of love.

nothing is scarier to me.

[onalongroadleadingnowhere]

“Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive.

It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies.

The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated;

but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

They may be more likely to go to Heaven yet at the same time likelier to make a Hell of earth." - C.S Lewis

[nimblermortal]

"She knew what she feared - to be locked up in some dark, narrow place by people who loved her. An enemy might drop his guard, weary of his task, turn his back; love would never falter." - Paladin of Souls by Lois McMaster Bujold