sometimes you just have to say "you are all so fucking stupid" and scroll past
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@jennyofmany
sometimes you just have to say "you are all so fucking stupid" and scroll past
Quick question:
Can you read cursive?*
Yes
No
Sort of/Slowly/With effort
Depends heavily on the handwriting
extra option for whatever I didn't think of
*to be clear, whether you can or do write it is a different question. If something is written in cursive, can you read it?
Today my magnificent octopus magnum opus, a 126-page monograph on the genus Rhombophryne—Madagascar's diamond frogs, was published open access in the journal Vertebrate Zoology. In it, my colleagues and I have described seven new diamond frog species and provided detailed revised accounts of each of the now 27 species in the genus, compiling practically everything that is known about these curious and obscure frogs!
Allow me to introduce the new characters:
This piece of lint precious child is Rhombophryne maraorao, a little burrowing species from the northeast of Madagascar. It is very similar ecologically to R. coudreaui, a long-known species from further south. The name maraorao means ‘rough to the touch’ in Malagasy, referring to the rough skin of this species. They do a weird thing where they straighten all of their limbs and go stiff in self defence. Think pumpkin toadlet post-launch mid-air stiffness, but… in the hand?
This beautiful creature is Rhombophryne mavokely, a little leaflitter-dwelling species from the northeast of Madagascar. The name mavokely is the Malagasy word for ‘pink’ but literally translates as ‘small yellow’ (mavo = yellow, kely = small). I LOVE this bizarre etymology, and also this species is small and sometimes pink and sometimes yellowish, so the name seemed extremely apt. This species was the first Rhombophryne I ever saw alive—I caught the first ever specimen immediately underneath my hammock on Marojejy in 2016!
This shiny boy is Rhombophryne sonaliae, a rather well known species from eastern Madagascar that has previously been called R. alluaudi—until we showed in 2019 that the correct use of that name was for a Plethodontohyla alluaudi from southern Madagascar! We dedicated this species to Sonali Garg, in recognition of her fantastic work especially on Asian frogs.
This forbidden truffle is Rhombophryne anatiala, a very poorly known species very closely related to R. sonaliae but found further north and differing subtly. The name anatiala means ‘in the forest’ in Malagasy, referring to the forest habitat of these frogs.
This bumpy beanbag with his go-faster chevron is Rhombophryne kotrobaratra, an interesting species from northeastern Madagascar with rather unusual anatomy, especially its quite long and strong hindlimbs. The name kotrobaratra means ‘thunder and lightning’ in Malagasy, and refers to the inclement weather that seems to bring these frogs out (true for all Rhombophryne, really) .
This coffee bean is Rhombophryne quentini, an orange-thighed species from high-elevation forests in northern Madagascar that resembles R. ellae. Back in 2020 I named R. ellae after my partner, Ella, and I thus took particularly great pleasure in naming this new, closely related species after our four-and-a-half year-old son, Quentin. A little family of frogs. :3
This little pebble is Rhombophryne kilonjy, a small, poorly known and obscure species related to R. ellae and R. quentini but found in lowland forest close to the coast in northwestern Madagascar. The name kilonjy means ‘pebble’ in Malagasy because, well, just look at it.
Even way back in my tumblr posts from 2013 and 2014 I think you would find mentions of the work I had begun on this monograph. I had no notion that it would take more than twelve years to complete. But I cannot express my joy at finally being able to share these charming, round frogs with the world. I hope you approve of the names!
If you want to read a bit more about these frogs, you can do so on my website. I have even posted a couple short videos about them on TikTok and Instagram (which also will show you how to pronounce the names!). Basically, you can find me most places on the internet, and wherever you find me, you can be sure to find frogs and lizards and snakes and a good deal of enthusiasm.
it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”
even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?” “Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.” “Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?” “I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”
And now, a lesson in biases:
We barely know anything about Madagascar pre-500CE. We don’t even know whether the island had a permanent population before then, despite finding a bunch of much older signs of temporary human presence.
Malagasy mythology makes mention of the vazimba, a “precursor” ethnic group that might or might not be distinct from Madagascar’s current population.
The point is, we do not know.
So you were in Madagascar when the pyramids were being built in Egypt, i.e. during one of the most obscure, most undocumented parts of Madagascar’s human history?
Oh, buddy, you better go and make a bunch of anthropologists and archeologists really happy RIGHT NOW instead of feeling bad about missing everyone else’s pet Major Event.
It’s been a decade since we left that comment and you have the best reply anyone’s left to it.
I’ve got a lot of Thoughts(tm) about The Odyssey at the moment, but damnit Blum I’m an archer, not a film critic, so here’s something in my lane!
Autism Representation written by an allistic: My name is John Autism and I like the designated autistic interests
unintentionally autistic character written by the creator who hasn't really thought about whether or not theyre autistic: I wish I could be human like the way everyone else is but I know they can tell I'm not. And I know they're right
I do think that Shane gets a Russian language tutor. He sees that Ilya is always having to think, speak, and translate in his second language. And he knows that Ilya is fluent by this point, but if he's serious about forever with Ilya (which he is) he wants Ilya to be able to communicate with his boyfriend in his native language. He also saw how much his grandparents struggled with learning English as adults and how much more expressive and talkative they were when they spoke Japanese at home together.
So he gets a tutor. He meticulously researches her (she's from Moscow, so he'll learn from someone with Ilya's same accent). She's signed to more NDAs than he can count. She has 10 years of experience, she's certified to teach English and Russian, and she has 4.8 stars on MyTutor.
Shane pays her a frankly concerning amount of money to make house calls. Twice weekly, unless he's on the road, she arrives at his apartment to teach him foundational Russian. She gives him workbooks, Russia cartoon recommendation, podcasts for beginners, etc. He tells her he's learning because his boyfriend is Russian and she outlines a course that focuses on domestic language first (as opposed to travel or business). She even teaches him what she calls a 'culture course' with lessons on Russian music, food, and various traditions.
She's only a few years older than Shane and he actually finds himself looking forward to her visits. At this point, she's the only person other than his parents that knows he has a boyfriend.
About 4 months in, Shane finally feels comfortable enough to ask about what he'd been very excited about learning.
"You want me to teach you how to talk dirty to your boyfriend?" Ekaterina raised an eyebrow.
"Um," Shane blushed. Was this a little too far? Was this inappropriate to ask of a tutor? "Yes? If - If that's okay, I mean."
A slow smirk spread over her face. "This will be fun. Fun for me, now. Fun for you, later."
"I made a list," Shane admitted. He wasn't going to back out now, he put a lot of thought into his list. He turned to it in his Russian notebook and handed it to her.
She scanned over it indifferently. "You will use all this in one night?"
"Yeah, probably. Is it too much?"
"It is good you have a Russian man," Ekaterina said. "They have good stamina. Mostly, anyway."
And while it was a little embarrassing for Ekaterina to correct his pronunciation of please let me suck your cock, it helped that she seemed just as comfortable with that as there is tea on the stove.
Though, maybe he shouldn't have learned those phrases at the same time, because Ilya will never, for as long as they live, allow him to forget asking, while down on his knees and with excellent pronunciation, please let me suck your tea.
keeping getting people asking what happens if a gag candidate gets elected to parliament and im like well they become a member of parliament
hope you are not being too heavily impacted by the wildfires be safe out there friend 💛
I love and appreciate the support but this is the funniest ask I could have received as I am managing a flood zone
Neue Laternen für unser Hauptzelt. Gewürzgurken und Butterbrotpapier regeln
Bei Tageslicht:
You asked and you shall receive:
Weil es Spaß macht, Dinge selber zu machen.
Hab komplett verpennt, in der Anleitung die Bilder von der fertigen Laterne einzufügen. Es wurde eine Nautilus-Lampe :D
About ten, fifteen years ago I wrote a story about a guy living in a Capitalist dystopia. His walls, furniture, and tableware are all covered in smart displays. Basically animated wallpaper. It's sold as being able to turn your room or objects into anything - A nice forest view, outer space, a fantasy realm... but the companies that run this stuff keep sneaking ads in.
It gets so bad he's always being woken up by adverts that offer insomnia cures and better bedding that play when he tries to sleep.
So he buys the ad-free tier, and it's great... for a few months. And then he starts getting adverts from 'premium partners'. So he goes up a level... and the same thing happens.
So he jailbreaks his wallpaper and sends all the ad servers to 0.0.0.0 and voila... he can sleep.
Until this SWAT team blows his door off and drag him off to jail. The Ad companies are suing him for loss of revenue for the products he' notionally have bought if he'd watched their adverts, based on some weird 'The average consumer buys X products with an average value of Y' calculation.
The judge is like 'well I dun wanna annoy the sponsors' so he RICO's this guy's house and possessions and sends him to jail.
... which is a nice relaxed non-volent offender jail for the corporately disenfranchised. But because these people have no money... there's no ads and now he's happy because the only place he's free... is in prison.
Which at the time was a bit much and now it's like: Called it.
Elon's suing companies for not advertising because he's losing revenue. He's also cranking the price of Ad Free Twitter. Disney and Amazon play adverts on their paid service when services used to be free because of the adverts... and now you have to pay to watch the adverts or go up a couple of tiers.
And google's going around freaking out about ad-blockers.
OP did it hurt when Apollo's dodgeball hit you and made you write that story?
this is free advice for anyone else with a mother who likes to pull a "yeah, she doesn't want to give me grandchildren" in front of other people to try and shame you for not wanting kids
if you hit 'em back with a very genuine, "yeah, she's really disappointed i won't let her use me like a broodmare," then EVERYONE gets to be uncomfortable about someone else being mad they can't use your body for their own wants <3
it did take a few repetitions until i finally progressed to, "yeah, she's really sad i won't let her pimp me out as a broodmare," but it did eventually make her stop completely
so y'know
when in doubt, wreck the vibe for everyone
I think a lot of people have trouble understanding transgender issues because they try to see themselves as trans, but come at it from the wrong direction. e. g. a cis woman tries to understand transness by going, “what if I felt like/wanted to be a man” when she should be approaching it as “what if I, a woman, was so easily mistaken for a man that I had to pretend to be one”,
And I think this is something to keep in mind and to explain away when trying to get these matters across to people who’re new to the idea.
i was thinking about the weirdest phone calls i got when i still worked at the public library and i remembered this one phone call. it was probably less than 20 seconds long, but it still makes me laugh.
anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual “public library, how can i help you?” spiel, she said, “i have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?”
it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so they’re easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, “okay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?” i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said “thank you!” and hung up.
i never heard from her again. i hope she won whatever argument she was having.
for about a year, i worked at a call center for sprint. i have a similar kind of story. a woman called, and said she had a question about the call history on her bill. “sure, let me just pull up your account-” and she cut me off going, “no, no, it’s not anything specific, it’s just. so, if you change the time on your phone, does that change the time on the bill?” “uh… no? the time on the phone doesn’t matter, the call history is recorded by the towers.” “ohhhh” she said in the saltiest voice i have ever heard “so even if you changed the timezone it wouldn’t change the time on the bill? to, say, the middle of the night?” i stg yall i looked into the camera like i was on the office. “um… no? it would still be the local time of the tower. is there anything else i can help you with?” to me, overly chipper: “nope! thank you! have a great day!” turning on someone as she hung up: “she says yoU’RE A LYING SACK OF-” i still mean-snicker every time i think about it.
i used to work in a call center for a roadside assistance company, from late 2015 to early 2016. it was easily the most miserable job i’ve ever had, and the turnover rate was very high. people stuck on the side of the road tend to be quick to anger - understandably so - and it wears on you after awhile.
so i had been having a string of very time-consuming, draining calls. my line rings again, i steel myself for another angry caller, and i pick up. “[redacted] roadside assistance, how can i help you?” i chirp, in my Customer Service Voice.
“yeah, hi,” a gentleman with a thick southern accent responds. “my motorcycle won’t start.”
i brace immediately for another long call. motorcycles were notoriously difficult to work with - a lot of insurance companies wouldn’t insure them, and a lot of tow companies refused to pick them up because they require a specific sort of trailer.
“i’m sorry to hear that, sir. what’s your current location?”
“oh, i’m just at my house. i was wondering if it would be okay for me to just load it into my trailer and take it to my buddy’s shop. would that interfere with my insurance?”
i click through his account and am Relieved to discover he’s in the clear. “No sir, it looks like you’re good to go. Can I help you with anything else?”
A pause. “Have you heard the good news?”
My Anxiety, which had been receding, suddenly spikes into the fucking stratosphere. I live in the rural south. The “good news” usually means “Jesus” and i was in no mood to be proselytized to for god knows how long.
i steel myself for the Religious Talk. “What news, sir?”
“McDonald’s is now serving breakfast all day!”
I laughed so hard I almost cried. I hope that guy ate as many hashbrowns as he could.
I think what really bothers me about video game difficulty discourse is the way that it equates "inaccessibility" with "artistic choices that may alienate certain disabled players."
like, okay, speaking as a musician and an autistic woman: there are certain sounds that I am simply not going to enjoy, right? I don't like music that's too heavy on the high end, because it sounds shrill. I've listened to music that had so much Stuff Going On at once that is literally made me feel sick from overstimulation. But that doesn't mean that music shouldn't exist, or that the creators should make a hypothetical pared-down remix just so I specifically can enjoy it. There's other music out there which I like! It's fine! I'll listen to that instead!!
and, idk, it bothers me because there are a lot of legitimate accessibility features that I think every game should have. there's no reason for a puzzle game to be inaccessible to colorblind people. there's no reason that an execution-heavy game shouldn't allow you to set up alternate control schemes. but the solution is not "make the puzzles easier" or "make the bosses do less damage" any more than the "solution" to a complicated piece of writing is "create a version where everything is written using simpler language." idk! it just feels like a refusal to engage with art as art and not Product.
That last bit about writing is particularly on-point right now, because this is take is going around:
So yeah there are people who genuinely believe that "accessibility" means only making things that are unchallenging. This is incorrect in any form of art, whether it's popular media or something more traditional. Accessibility in writing means printing in larger text, use of readable fonts and formatting, translation into Braille, and recording in clear audio. Accessibility in gaming should mean colorblindness filters, toggles to deactivate strobing in cutscenes and environments, scalable text, custom keymapping, and the ability to modify graphical settings including framerates, motion blur, fixed versus free camera, and so on.
To truly engage with any form of art, one must at least be willing to be challenged. To claim that challenge is by its nature inaccessibility is at best ignorance to the purpose of accessibility, and at worst a gross infantilization of people like me who actually have disability-related struggles that could be mitigated with some fairly basic control of settings.
media literacy includes understanding why a media product was made, to whom it's being sold, and the assumed preferences of its marketing demographic. narrative is not produced or sold in a vacuum.
you might be totally correct that your ship would be narratively satisfying. I don't know, I'm not watching your show. Whether your ship is likely to happen on the show is a whole different question to whether it's satisfying, because the show is being sold to Netflix or Amazon or the BBC, and they are purchasing a show they think they can market to a particular demographic and that demographic isn't you, the nightmarishly online tumblr user. The show is being made for marketability to a constructed average viewer. It is being funded with that audience in mind. This art is being made to commission, and commissioned art is art, but at some point you have to stop expecting the Church to commission a statue of Lucifer fucking St Michael. It might be narratively satisfying, but that's just not what they're paying for.
Hallo. Ich würde dir gerne meine neue Mitbewohnerin vorstellen. Das ist Zinn (Natürlich kurz für Erzherzogin Zinopia Rafael Faustina Morgentau von Kienspahn). Momentan im Stimmbruch, hat die Taubengeräusche noch nicht so ganz raus.
Thats the cutest fucking thing I've seen all day