I haven't touched this blog in beyond forever, but I need to put this down and get it out of my head.
Dear Bear,
For the last few days, I find my thoughts keep drifting to you. As a 1D fan who has a little boy of her own now, my heart breaks the most for you. I'm so sorry you lost your dad.
While I didn't know your father personally, I know for a fact how deeply he loved you. You were the single greatest part of his life. No amount of fame, fortune, or awards ever came anywhere close to the all-encompassing pride he felt about you. When you were born, his whole world shifted in the best way. When he spoke about you in videos and interviews, I could see his devotion in his eyes.
Your dad, at his core, was compassionate and wanted to bring light to people. The mind is a complicated place. No one is perfect, and your dad stumbled and fell short at times. We all do. I wish he'd had more time in this life to mend bridges with those he wanted or needed to. The very best parts of him will live on in you.
I'm sorry you won't get to have your dad there for life's milestones. I'm sorry you only got 7 years with him. No amount of time with you would have ever been enough for your father. I firmly believe he will always be with you, watching over you proudly. I hope your family is able to keep his memory alive for you. I hope your grandparents and aunts tell you all about your dad when he was your age. When you're old enough, I hope the other boys share stories of all the tour antics your dad got in to. I know your mother loves you immensely and wishes she could keep this pain from you. Lean on her when the grief hits you. Ask her to tell you about him.
Bear, never doubt how much your dad adored you. Never doubt that he would do anything for you. Live your life to the fullest. Find peace and happiness. Your dad was and will always be proud of you.
I'm hugging my son a bit closer, hoping some of that hug finds its way to you. I'm sending love and prayers to you, now and always.
Love,
A Directioner Mom
