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@directivethree-moved
200% of 0 is 0
❝That’s some dedication.❞
❝What did you ask for Mercenary Day?❞
“i’m glad you asked!! this year, i asked ol’ Saint Nick for some wavy black hair, a sexy paint job, a collectors edition of Bunkers and Badasses (solo edition), some self-esteem, a head-sized gumball actually shaped like a head, and 200% more friends!”
directivethree liked your post:I’m going to crash your party.
❝Speaking of Claptrap, I left you some gifts earlier today, they were inside a box. Wasn’t sure what to get you so I got you some robot model magazines and new dubstep cd’s so your songs can get more awesome❞.
at that, the robot couldn't help but run its mouth; systems suddenly overwhelmed and flooding with flattery over the kindness that Lilith continued to offer it. "f-for real? for ME??... and they have THOUGHT put into them?!" Claptrap flung its clamps up over its eye. “Liliiiiith!! i’m gonna cry! you’re the best minion a devilishly handsome robot could have!!”
❛ this is NOT what i had in mind. can i go back home now? yeah——— that’d be AWESOME. i just wanna FEEL and be SAFE in my own bed. ❜
”not in this neighborhood, Rhysie-buddy! up until now, i thought ‘feeling safe’ was just a myth!! tell me --- what’s it like? could you compare it to a summer’s day? --- does it have a flavour?”
❝’1,936 letters’? You’re kidding.❞
“of course not!! needed to make sure the big guy actually GOT ‘em this year. last time, i only sent 782!!”
“i can't believe its Mercenary’s Day eve already!! i sure hope Santa got the 1,936 letters i sent him!!”
“IS THIS THE HAT YOU DESIRE??”
❛ i would die before i put that on my head. ❜
“aww.”
“IS THIS THE HAT YOU DESIRE??”
❝Could you just NOT have music in your soul for five minutes? Twenty even?❞
“i dunno!! let’s see if i can re-calibrate my A.I.” a series of rather fake-sounding ‘boop’ noises later, Claptrap’s musical attitude appeared unchanged. “nope-- that just permanently deleted my antivirus! but here’s an idea; how about YOU gain some music in your soul for five minutes? we could do a DUET!!”
@askmaliwan
“You’ll have to come to my offices so we can install it. Don’t worry, we have an elevator. No stairs. I think you’ll enjoy this.”
“you had me at ‘NO STAIRS’!!” the robot declared, extending a brisk arm that tugged impatiently at her clothing. “c’mon, as a famous robot once said: lets go already!!”
• claptrap –––––––––– •
// : it was quieter than her usual tone, f a r quieter. her thumbs pressed into his cheekbones, and she nudged noses with him, brow furrowed. the drone of his voice was the most comforting thing she had heard in a long time. the warm hum of her machines could never quite replace his babbling voice, his rambling charm. others found it unappealing, obnoxious ( she did too, at times ), but it was so familiar, so welcoming to her. it was a home she had never found until him. // : the a.i. let him bumble on for a moment more before she tired of the lack of contact. and she connected them gently, thin lips meeting his in the gentlest kiss she had possibly ever given him. it was sweet, but achingly desperate. she needed this more than she had originally thought. glados had never quite realised how much she needed him until he was gone. and he had been gone. missing for months, no warning or explanation. and honestly, she had never been more fearful. his absence had left her terrified. // : days melted into weeks, into months, and into a timeless abyss where all she knew was worry for his well-being. he had never been one to just leave her in the dark, the smaller a.i. always happy to tell her extensively about his adventures and future plans. but she had never heard a word about the ‘ holiday ‘ with this unknown character called jermaine. no, one day he was there, pattering around her labs with her, and the next it was uncomfortably quiet. an off-putting silence that lasted far too long, creeping around her with the gentlest of steps. glados had never hated the silence so much. // : a hand slipped from his face, to his chest, carefully placed against where his heart would have been. she moved against him careful, calculated ––––– practised. she knew his weaknesses all too well, and she was more than happy to take advantage of her knowledge at that moment. // : glados did not require air to function, but right then, she was utterly breathless, and it almost hurt. she parted from him, but not too much. if she moved any further from him, she’d feel so horribly lonely again. her lips barely ghosted his as she spoke, so quiet that she could barely hear herself ––––– and she didn’t want to. she was confessing to things she didn’t want to know she felt. but lord, she felt them.
• explain later. later. i’ve . . god. i’ve missed you, mi caro. i’ve missed you terribly. •
a sharp gasp of breath as their lips connected was the last thing to leave the hyperion intelligence; the nonsense that so freely coursed through his circuitry day in and out suddenly barred by muted thoughts of affection and, ( dare it be said ) love. the anxious, fiddling hands that had entwined themselves about GlaDOS fast slackened in a startled motion, briefly freezing in place by her sides before being re-affirmed around her, and closing any distance that remained between them. a near-crippling feeling of awe took him, as it always did in other's presence. a moment of hesitance passed, and he began to respond to her touch gently; if a little inexperienced. after all, the motion had caught him completely off-guard. in his absence, however long or however short it had seemed, Claptrap had once again grown estranged to such physical demonstrations of affection -- waging war against the great monster that had guarded the Traveler's Vault not acting as very appropriate kindling towards the fires of friendship or passion. as a result, the rowdy little robot had been left feeling quite lonely. but not anymore. even as she parted from him, one hand still braced against his figurative heart and sharing that striking presence that never failed to make him warm all over, the giddy rush running through his circuitry did not ebb. just from looking at her, just from staring into the beautiful ambers of her eyes, Claptrap could tell there was a lot of tick-tock going on in that mind. most would find it frightening. he found it exhilarating. "i... th-... right." the android stuttered; fervent words repeating and tumbling from him in a fluster. "right--- right. i... missed you too. a lot!! more than a lot. like, a whole-- whole lot!! i-i mean... rrgh." he tensed; unused to the inability to speak. he always spoke. ‘this woman is killing me---’ in a single, clumsy motion, Claptrap closed the space between them once more; pressing a kiss to her mouth that was much firmer than the one prior and lifting a hand to caress at her neck - practically desperate to deepen what she’d just invoked. ‘i love it.’
Want your gift early or do you want to wait?
”well, that’s not actually something i can decide!— what it really depends on is whether or not my programming allows me to accept gifts on days outside of Mercenary Day, production anniversaries and bar mitzvahs!! buuUUuut, if it WAS up to me— NOW, NOW!! I WOULD WANT IT– RIGHT NOW!!!”
@directivethree || MEME.
❝You REALLY can’t talk without singing can you?❞
“NO! i have way too much MUSIC in my soul, sister!! -- or, i would, if i had a soul! hah!”
Another laugh left the short accountant. Okay, yeah, this wasn’t half bad AT ALL. “Of COURSE. High-fiv- es are like…my life source.” Even though it had hurt, the first time he had fist bumped Rhys after he got hi- s new arm was similar. Well…actually that was FAR worse since he actually had to get a cast for a finger but still.
“Oh yeah, definitely PLATONIC, dude,” patting the top of the bot’s…head…body…thing.
a small giggle was evoked from the unit at that, physical affection so foreign and infrequent to it; but always very appreciated. "man, this IS great. i haven't been this close to someone since that one badass skag got its fangs stuck in my chassis for six days straight!!" contented, Claptrap made no attempt to restrain the bobbing in its stance; noticeably curbing any hint of its usual muted melancholy as it spoke. "y'know what?! you should come meet some of my other friends in Sanctuary--- or, or better yet, i could meet some of your friends and make even MORE super-friends like you!!"
“how DARE you guys obsess over my favourite song without me!!”
.....haygurl
// : his voice seemingly broke whatever trance she had been in, leaving her with a strange sense of relief. it was satisfying, and left her giddy. a tiny, pleased smile curled onto her face, pressed into the collar of his shirt. he was talking, and she felt the audio processors vibrating in his chest, and she never knew how much she loved that until now. she loved how warm he was, how he smelled, even. // : his pet name for her had never been so welcomed in all their time together, glados clutching him just a little harder as it reached her ears. then he was apologising, and crying, and any semblance of a smile left her features in exchanged for a frown. she knew she had to say something, anything, but she couldn’t quite find any helpful words. while she searched for them, glados shushed him, sounding more frustrated than anything.
• hush, shh. just ––– stop it. shut up. •
// : she leant back, if only slightly, just enough to see his frightfully tearful face. her brow was furrowed, and it was nearly impossible to tell but –––––––– she was concerned. her hands reluctantly left him, only to return, cupping his face. thumbing away tears she just stared at him, frowning, trying to decide what she was going to say to him. the a.i. had thought a lot about this moment over the last few months, thought about what she was going to say. but now that he was here, apologising like his life depended on it, practically sobbing in her arms ––––– // : glados sighed, her face relaxing a little. she tried to stop looking so angry, so displeased. but it was hard to. he was here, finally, and all he could do was cry. she wanted things to just go back to normal, but all this blubbering was getting in the way of things. she’d never understand the blubbering.
• quit it. everything’s fine. you’re fine. i’m fine. you’re fine. you’re.. you’re fine. you’re.. •
// : trailing off, it dawned on her slowly that he was fine. he was alive. all those months of worrying, all those hours she spent hoping he was okay, were naught. he was okay. he was okay. and just that realisation alone wiped that frustrated grimace off her face like it had never been there at all. in it’s place was the most oddly relaxed look she had maybe ever given him. or anyone for that matter. // : she leant forward, hands still loose on his cheeks, and set her forehead against his. her optics slipped shut, and she sighed ever-so quietly before speaking –––– starting stern, but tone dropping to a near silence, almost desperate –––––
• don’t you ever do that again. .. please. •
the soft, shaky breaths of fingers against synthetic skin imposed a calming rhythm within Claptrap; soothing the sobs that had so pathetically stuttered from his chassis and relaxing his mind - though the tears simply would not stop. the frown was deserved-- the android knew that much; his eyes, pinpoints of focus, fixing onto hers for a brief second before tearing away to examine the intricate tiles underfoot. downtrodden. guilt-ridden. 'i have so many regrets.' it could not be denied that his time with the new Vault Hunters had been ENJOYABLE-- and with the kind of attitude that Claptrap possessed, the hyperion unit may have even described it as 'fun', or 'fulfilling'... or ‘super-crazy-awesome’. after all, he had slain a monster, he had looted a vault - heck, he’d even made some new friends along the way--- and that was all the little robot ever really asked for. badassery, riches, friendship. he'd lived the Pandoran dream. but not even as he’d faced death at the foot of the Traveler had he forgotten her - tendrils of DESPAIR and DENIAL creeping free from locked corners in his circuitry and taking firm shape; tangible and constricting in his chest. it wasn't as foreign an experience as he would've liked; forcing the raw ache somewhere on the horizon of his heart, to the place where all of his pain moldered - lingering distant, like faded scars. with every tentative word she spoke, the android's core seemed to skip a beat; his figurative heart eventually taking on a strange, flustered tattoo that invoked a twitch of the robot's natural energy. "---oh, sugarbits, i don’t think i’d be ABLE to-- really, i-i missed you so much!! i swear, i never meant to be gone for so long!! it’s just like when you go on a short business trip and then SUDDENLY you’re on a questionable four-month-holiday in western Pandora with your boss’s ex-boyfriend, Jermaine... uh, but really, this time’ll be different, i promise! I’LL NEVER LEAVE AGAIN!! well, i mean, i will - but that’s not the point.---” his babble seemed to have no start nor end to it.